| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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He says I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for a relationship
Q. I have started seeing this guy and I absolutly, no doubt about it really like him. he says he likes me too but...theres always a but, he says he doesnt want a relationship with anyone and that I shouldnt hold my breath, though he keeps on talking ...
A. 19 October 2010: Like the previous posts say, he's looking for a friends with benefits. Or maybe just a friend/hang out buddy. I see this happening to so many people around me now. The guy says he doesn't want to give the wrong impression, that he just wants to be ... (read in full...)
How can I get my bachelor's degree?
Q. I was wondering if for example I went to a community college for 2 years, and then a university for 2, would I be able to get a bachelor's degree? I'm a junior in high school now, and I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't go to a 4 year school because I'm ...
A. 19 October 2010: Go to your school's guidance counsellor and ask them for advice on schools, programs, and how to figure out what you're interested in.
There are lots of colleges that you can then transfer to university. And you can go for general arts or gener... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 18 October 2010: Yes, I'm a girl, but replying with my boyfriend's answer to your question.
He says he probably wouldn't show his friends naked pics, because it isn't their business. And he'd be much more likely to show perfect strangers the naked pics because ... (read in full...)
Dated him. Broke up. Then got back together. Lost the feeling again. Did it again. Then really fell for him. He dumped me. I love him. How do I get over him?
Q. Awhile ago me and this guy went out. A few weeks later I broke up with him, because I wasnt really feeling it anymore. About a month later, he asked me out again. I said yes,because i thought i liked him again. We went out for about three days. ...
A. 17 October 2010: You move on and learn from this relationship, like Ven said. In particular, next time around you might not want to break up so much. You kept thinking you felt something for him, then losing the feeling and breaking up. When you're with someone, you ... (read in full...)
Comunication Breakdown
Q. i have posted her before and was happy with the mature responses i got so im back for some advice and opinion. my on and off girlfriend have had some huge communication issues. I am a talker and she is not. i am dealing with the fact that she had ...
A. 17 October 2010: You sound as if you've been doing everything right as to trying to communicate. But you can't make someone talk or want to talk and open up. And it really doesn't seem as if she wants to. You've put it out there and she isn't responding. If this ... (read in full...)
How can I put my girlfriend at ease and let her know she can trust me?
Q. My girlfriend is really quiet and shy. She's explained to me why (childhood experiences relating to abuse and fitting in pressures). And I'm totally understanding of that. I just want to know what would be the best approach of getting her to trust ...
A. 17 October 2010: Time and consistency is what is needed for trust. Just keep showing her that you're there for her, that you care about her, and that you would never do what people in her past have done. With words and with actions. You sound like you have the right ... (read in full...)
I can't stand being single anymore!!!
Q. Hello I am 17 years old and still in high school. I can't stand being single anymore. I really can't. I have never kissed a girl before never been loved by a girl before I can't take it. I see all these other people getting all this love but for ...
A. 17 October 2010: I didn't have a boyfriend or do anything until I went to university and was 18. I had my first kiss, lost my virginity, everything when I was 18. So I have been there. It sucks if you're seeing everyone around you in love and in couples. Keep ... (read in full...)
Working in a prison, I've fallen in love with a prisoner
Q. I work in a prison as a librarian and seem to have fallen for a prisoner. He has told me that he likes me. I just don't know what to do. He's out in 6 weeks and seems very geniune about the possibility of us. I havent given too much away to him as ...
A. 17 October 2010: Proceed with caution. Ideally the correctional facilities are so that people can come back and learn from mistakes. So people do deserve second chances, depending on what happened. Still, if you do pursue a relationship with him, there will be many ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend continue the cycle of abuse?
Q. Well me and Caleb have been dating for years. His dad abused his mom(not really in front of him). He has also done the same to Caleb and choked him even just last week for grades..he fights back with his dad whenever this happens. Thank god because ...
A. 16 October 2010: I've seen my dad abuse my mom all growing up. He never laid a hand on me, but did scare the crap out of me. While it didn't make me necessarily abusive (I'm a girl anyway, so I've never come across as threatening beyond lighthearted smacking a guy ... (read in full...)
HELP! I'm miserable without her, but should I let her go?
Q. My girlfriend and I mutually agreed we should take “a break”. But this is not your average “take-a-break” story. We have been seeing each other 1 year. I am 41, divorced w/2 kids and she is 38, w/1 child and she has never been married. Bott...
A. 16 October 2010: My thoughts are that the both of you might be worrying too much about some confused feelings. 100% of love is a lot to give, and I'm not sure that most relationships have that. I know that my exes will always hold a special place in my heart, and I ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to propose?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 weeks now. Since day one we agreed it is a serious and committed relationship..two weeks after we started dating he took me to his home town for the weekend and show me around and also meet jis family it was ...
A. 16 October 2010: 5 weeks is more like the time that you take to fall in love...not move in and get engaged. Some people date for several weeks before even getting to the official gf bf titles. Wanting to progress to an engagement already is way too fast! Slow down ... (read in full...)
I never felt like his top priority! Was I right to end it?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 3.5 years and we recently broke up. The peculiar thing is that I’m not experiencing the feelings that are commonly associated with a break-up, (daily crying, no sleep, etc.) I don’t know if this is because I’m really ...
A. 15 October 2010: You did the right thing. 5 hours is a pretty long distance to drive to see your significant other. It's not something you can do every weekend, and any weekend you do do it, it's tough because it's long and tiring and at the end of a day of work (if ... (read in full...)
Was losing your virginity as you expected it to be?
Q. Was losing your Virginity as you expected it to be and would you change your mind if you could go back?...
A. 15 October 2010: Losing my virginity was a pretty bad experience overall. It hurt like hell, and then afterwards I found out the condom broke so I had to go to the clinic the next morning to get the morning after pill (which I hadn't even heard of until then). So it ... (read in full...)
Am I really the fool they want me to think I am?
Q. I'm feeling pretty crappy these days after 11 years of marriage. Both sides of our family insist on pointing out what a tramp my wife was as a teen and the things she did in bed with her ex HB. He apparently made things known. I knew a lot about my ...
A. 14 October 2010: Think about who you want to listen to: you and your wife who loves you, or a bunch of petty, vindictive people that enjoy talking trash about their own family members? Don't let other people make trouble in your relationship. If the 2 of you are ... (read in full...)
Why is there a distinction between bisexual and bi-curious?
Q. Just a random question I often wonder about, not a plea for help... I hear a lot from different people, when it comes to bisexuality, that if you haven't 'slept' with or 'been' with a person of the same sex, you are only bi-curious becau...
A. 14 October 2010: I agree with dirtball, lots of girls don't mind making out with each other, but wouldn't take it further than that. And the bicurious title works for me, since I know I'm attracted to girls, but for me, sex is not as satisfying with women and I know ... (read in full...)
Why would she not want her boyfriend to meet her ex?
Q. I was wondering why would a girl not want her boy friend to meet her ex boy friend. I know it can be because it will be awkward,but if they have been with each other for about a year and she still thinks it would be and just does not want them to ...
A. 14 October 2010: If she doesn't she her ex then it's perfectly normal for her not to want the boyfriend and ex to meet. If she's still friends with and hangs out with her ex, then her not wanting the two to meet means something. ... (read in full...)
S it right to have it end like this... Or should we try at it?
Q. First off, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this, I really appreciate the help. Anywho, I'm pretty upset right now because my girlfriend and I just got out of yet another argument about an hour ago and I don't know what to do. W...
A. 14 October 2010: Tell her to stop saying to break up unless she really means it. Girls have a tendency to go with their emotions and just blurt that out when they are upset but not think it through or really mean it. And you shouldn't have to question whether she ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have this kind of serious relationship in college?
Q. Hello, I have been in the same relationship for almost two years. Both me girlfriend and I are 19 and in college full time. We are both in love and devoted to each other. Our problem is that we argue a lot. Typically, an arguments results in her ...
A. 14 October 2010: Your girlfriend sort of sounds like me. And the answer is that you're not being selfish or not putting enough effort it. In fact, you're probably being too nice and coddling her too much. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around her and spend your time ... (read in full...)
What was your best first date? I need ideas!
Q. what was the best first date you ever had? what made it so great and did you end up together? im just curious and looking for great date ideas!...
A. 14 October 2010: My best first date was going to a semi-amusement park in a mall, then to supper and a hockey game. We did end up together for awhile. But what you do isn't as important as who you do it with. As long as the 2 of you are doing something fun and ... (read in full...)
Is getting a makeover a good thing?
Q. I wanted to know if it's okay to get a makeover? I have been thinking about a makeover to improve my appearance and confidence. I don't wear makeup a lot and don't know how to apply it that good and also can't afford to go to a hair salon. I would ...
A. 14 October 2010: I haven't gotten a whole makeover before, but sometimes I get bored and get my hair cut differently or spontaneously decide to get it dyed another colour. It's fun and makes me feel adventurous. But you're right, salons are expensive. So I'd advise ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has just signed on for another six years of army
Q. My boyfriend is in the army but he wants to stay another six years in the army? Should i stay with him? I really love him but it is really hard to be an army girlfriend please help.....
A. 13 October 2010: Being an army girlfriend is tough, but it's doable. However, it sounds as though you're just waiting for him to leave, and there's a good chance he won't. It's a good secure job with a lot of perks (benefits, travelling, etc). Can you be with him if ... (read in full...)
I am tired of being sad and anger
Q. I am always feeling angry and sad with myself. I sometimes sit here and I cry because I feel angry with myself for not knowing what to do with my life or career. I am always on the internet doing career quizzes trying to find which career is right ...
A. 9 October 2010: Your community should have resources to help you with this, career counsellors and what not. It might help to have someone to talk to, and they can help guide you in your search. ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend was going to cheat on me!
Q. I have a boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months, i love him and i do think he loves me were generally very happy, we brokme up for a month in summer and got back together in august, the problem is while we were getting back together he'd been talking to ...
A. 9 October 2010: Break up with him. He was sneaking around behind your back and planning on cheating on you. Then he didn't delete her from facebook immediately, like you asked him to do, and which is perfectly reasonable, considering she's the girl he was going to ... (read in full...)
What are some of the biggest regrets people have with relationships that go wrong?
Q. This is a huge question and the reason I ask is because I don't want to make the same mistakes that everyone else makes. I would be grateful if someone could give me some information about the worst regrets or mistakes people make with ...
A. 4 October 2010: Mistakes I've made:
1) Getting too serious too quickly. With moving in, planning a future, etc. Take it slow and evaluate the consequences.
2) Getting back together over and over again. If it wasn't working, chances are it still won't work... (read in full...)
He kept all of the old photos, emails and letters I sent him when we were together, does this mean anything?
Q. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy, we broke up and lost touch for about 5 years. Now we have started talking again and he has told me that he kept every photo I sent him and every email, letter that I sent him. Does the fact he kept...
A. 4 October 2010: Depends what you mean by anything. It means something that he kept it (that you and your relationship meant something to him). As for it meaning more, it's hard to tell. Lots of people keep things from their past relationships, for memories of the ... (read in full...)
Ex says he loves me, but slept with someone else
Q. My ex says he still loves me and wants me back, but I just found out he slept with another girl (one of his house mates). I have not confronted him yet, on my side I have told him I want us to be friends first before being involved again. I want to ...
A. 4 October 2010: A lot of people view love and sex as 2 different things, although they can overlap (like how sex with someone you love can be better). So I suppose you could say it's normal. Especially since the two of you aren't together at the moment. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to trap him, I just really want a baby!
Q. Hi, I'm 29, really keen to have children. I have a new bf of a few weeks. I really like him and things are going great. I'm so broody, though, I'm thinking of trying to get pregnant without telling him. If he wants a baby, great, if he doesn't, ...
A. 27 September 2010: Yes, it is immoral. Even if you're not trying to trap him, he should have a right to know if you're trying to have his baby. Even if you say he doesn't have to be involved, he likely would want to be involved or at least feel compelled to. It could ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's going to leave me for someone else
Q. I've been in a fantastic relationship for a year now. He's absolutely wonderful and treats me so well. But I am quite insecure. He's never done anything to hurt me or make me think he'd leave me. He even called me the love of his life the other ...
A. 27 September 2010: Insecurity is the little voice that says "oh what if it doesn't work out" or "he'll probably cheat on me in the future" or "I don't think he thinks about me as much as I think about him", etc. And it's hard to turn off. And it pops up even when ... (read in full...)
Why won't he cuddle or hold me after sex
Q. a guy I'm just friends with will never cuddle with me after we sex..we talk everyday, chill and stuff,but I've known him 5 months,so why not hold me? ...
A. 24 September 2010: Well if you're in a friends with benefits situation, he might not want to blur the line with cuddling and holding, since that's more of a thing you do with a significant other. Also, I know my guy gets really hot and sweaty after sex, so if we ... (read in full...)
Should I keep supporting my ex girlfriend, and is it irrelevant that she is seeing someone new?
Q. I dated a woman for about a year, she is a single mother of two, and I am a single father of two. From early on, I fell madly in love with all three of them. She was struggling to get by when we first met, because she is a single parent, but also ...
A. 19 September 2010: To be honest, this situation is entirely up to your own feelings. You don't have to support her if you don't want to, it's certainly not your responsibility and no one would judge you if you didn't want to. And if you do want to, that's your ... (read in full...)
On the pill and feeling sick alot!
Q. I started using the contraceptive pill for the first time last month. I was taking them for 10 days (So my body could get used to them) before having sex with my boyfriend - he used a condom but didn't ejaculate. My problem is that, since then, my ...
A. 19 September 2010: I'm not sure what pill you're on, but a lot of them require you take them for a month before they are actually effective against pregnancy. But since you used a condom, you should be protected from that anyway.
The sickness is very likely c... (read in full...)
My fiance wants me to meet her ex, and I see it as a recipe for disaster
Q. My fiancee has stayed friends with an ex lover. He lives in another state. He contacts her every now and then. She has told me how their relationship quickly morphed from lovers to friends and the lovers part was just a mistake. She insists that ...
A. 19 September 2010: A lot of times I think there's this tendency to dislike someone's exes: through jealousy, thinking they treated our partner badly, thinking about all the bad qualities they have (from hearing possible venting stories, etc). And this can create anger ... (read in full...)
My ex came back after 4 years, begged for me, then left. How do I stop loving her?
Q. My situation is all over the place and I am torn apart inside. 4 years ago we broke up after a great 2 year relationship. We were young. We broke up when I was 19 and she was 17. She started hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing drugs (mostly ...
A. 19 September 2010: You sound like an extremely nice, mature guy, and the truth of the matter is that your ex doesn't deserve you. In nothing you said did I see her respecting you, herself, or the relationship. She cheated on you then played on your feelings for her. ... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to be friends yet barely talks to me!
Q. My ex girlfriend and I broke up about a week ago and wants to be good friends even after our breakup. Yet she rarely talks to me anymore. It was a long distance relationship that put a huge strain on our relationship. Do I need to give her some ...
A. 19 September 2010: A lot of people say that they want to be friends after breaking up but that doesn't mean they're sincere about it or willing to put in the effort. Being friends with exes doesn't work a lot of the time, but it's possible. It can be little awkward at ... (read in full...)
Why can't he just talk to me rather than going off by himself?
Q. I need help. So this is how it all started....I was talking to my boyfriend earlier, and at the very beginning of our conversation I got aggravated at him for something really little. Inevitably, my little aggravation slowly became bigger and ...
A. 18 September 2010: I agree with CaringGuy, a lot of guys tend to be like that. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, for either of you.
My second bf was like that, and at first it drove me crazy because I wanted to talk about our problems and just vent and everythi... (read in full...)
Husband stole over a grand from my bank account
Q. I've been married for 3 years now, and have a 3 year old child. My husband has had problems with drinking and gambling and was out of work for 2 years. He recently started working again, I had to give up working due to being seriously ill. The ...
A. 18 September 2010: First thing is change your pin on your accounts so he can't access them anymore. After that, go find the group (I'm sure there must be one somewhere decently close to where you are) that can help single moms or women who want to leave their husbands ... (read in full...)
He's keeping me at arm's length
Q. I'm so confused about my boyfriend I need to sort things out as its affecting my life and don't know what to do anymore. On the surface everything is going well..we have been dating for 4months and he wants to see me and thinks of me, but I feel l...
A. 18 September 2010: You're right, I think you do need to talk to him about it. But go in prepared with what you want to say. Possibly google some tips on communication in relationships to get an idea how to approach him.
The short of it is:
- avoid blame
- tal... (read in full...)
Growing old vs growing apart?
Q. for a married couple to be together forever they should grow together and not grow apart. What is your definition of "grow together" and/or "grow apart"? give examples if possible...
A. 18 September 2010: haha, I hope so too. And we don't read the some book together (that'd be really sweet, we do it sometimes but rarely). We just both read different books at the same time. And sometimes if we've both read them, we'll talk to each other about it or ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends super jealous of my best friend who is a girl!
Q. ive been with my girlfriend for 7 months, and everything for the most part has been great (we have our wedding colors picked out lol) but i just started my senior year of college 3 weeks ago and a problem has surfaced. last year, i realized that all...
A. 18 September 2010: About the not being able to be best friends with the opposite sex, not saying it doesn't happen and it can be platonic, but oftentimes it's a bit more complicated than that. As in even though you are best friends, sometimes there are those who have ... (read in full...)
What to do to be sane again after long term relationship?
Q. Well, after 3 years of dating my ex girlfriend (1 year while we lived in the same town and 2 yrs being 3hrs away from each other because of me going off to school). My ex decided to look elsewhere for comfort when she was lonely. It all started to ...
A. 18 September 2010: You should make decisions in your life without letting her be a factor. Because she isn't your girlfriend right now. Going to grad school is a big decision and you should go to what school you want, with the program you want. You have no way of ... (read in full...)
My friend is making a big mistake! How can I make her see sense?
Q. My friend who's my age is having sex in a week w/ a guy who's not even her boyfriend (she doesn't have one). Basically, she's in love with this guy and he's a total player. He hooks up with anyone that has boobs and something to stick it in (yes, ...
A. 17 September 2010: It sucks waiting for the train wreck that you know is going to happen and not being able to do anything about it. If she won't listen (and it sounds like she won't - people in love can be very dumb), then just wait. You learn best after getting ... (read in full...)
Growing old vs growing apart?
Q. for a married couple to be together forever they should grow together and not grow apart. What is your definition of "grow together" and/or "grow apart"? give examples if possible...
A. 17 September 2010: To be honest, I'm not really sure how to answer this, because I feel like I'm still in the process of figuring this out. But I'd like to know the answer to this too, and will put my best guess about it.
I think that growing together is keeping ... (read in full...)
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