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When You Get Married Do You Really Get Bored?

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Question - (19 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *caredForLove writes:

Okay I'm obviously way to young to be considering marriage or anything but I'm just curious... When you get married does the flame die out and you want to move on to someone else? Or when you really love someone does it not get boring? Lol I'm just wondering :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2011):

Miamine agony auntDone 18years with one guy, and there was not a second of boredom, not inside the bedroom or outside, we could talk for hours and hours with no problem.

You need to find someone who is a friend as well as a soulmate, that helps a lot.

You got to remember to always keep the fires of romance burning and kiss and cuddle like two newly weds or teenagers with their first love.

You got to act like children, find pleasure in the everyday things of life. When you are in love and trying to keep love burning, even washing the dishes can be fun. You don't need money, gifts or days out, a smile, a kiss before bedtime and a hug when you get back from work.. these are the things that make marriages work.

You get bored if you are boring, or you think doing your own thing and leaving your partner alone is a good idea. It's good to have your own hobbies and go out sometimes, it gives you lots of things to talk about when you get back together. But if you try and live a single life, pursing only your own selfish habits, you will find your with a person you don't know at all, and you'll grow in different ways, grow apart and the relationship will fail.

Good relationships don't just happen, they are bloody hard work. There is you, and your partner and then the relationship, you got to take care of each part and then things will work.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (19 December 2011):

Life with the same person can get a bit boring/monotonous, but you try to make things interesting. The flame can die out, but doesn't mean that it can't be rekindled occasionally. Marriage won't be like the beginning of a relationship, filled with firsts and exciting discovery. On the other hand, you are with someone you love, trust, and feel comfortable with. You can rely on them, know that they will always be there, share your life together, and enjoy a comfortable companionship. And even when married life becomes routine, you shake it up by doing something different and exciting. So no, generally being married doesn't make you want to move on to someone else.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011):

Yes the flame dies out, but no, you don't necessarily want to move on. Something replaces the flame. You've made a life together, maybe you've made kids together. In the place of flaming passion, you have each other's back. You trust each other. You know they will take care of you, and you'll take care of them. Together you'll be there for your kids, whatever happens.

When you have teenage love, it's intense, the flame burns so brightly it's an incredible experience. First love is so all consuming, there's nothing like it. So enjoy. Revel in it. It might last, or it might not. But even if it lasts, it won't be the same.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011):

well marriage is just like any other relationship. Some work out and stay good for the long term, others fizzle out, others become toxic. The fact that a relationship is a Marriage doesn't by itself portend anything for how the people in it will feel towards each other from there on out. there's many factors that affect how the marriage goes in the future....many marriages are actually mistakes that never should have been and are the result of bad judgment. so those would be likely have a bleak future. Other marriages are born of good decisions by the people involved, those would tend to stay good for longer. Many marriages involve people who themselves aren't very good at being in relationships (even though they are in a marriage). So their marriages might fizzle out or blow up in the future. Other marriages involve people who have better relationship skills and don't have destructive "baggage" (or who have gotten them under control) so those would be more likely to last.

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