| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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He says one day he'll marry me but has a wife and child. What should I do?
Q. Am separated from my husband and I am currently seeing this guy who is 10 years older than me we do not do a lot of things together. We hardly go out or do any fun things together. This guy is a medical doctor and is married with 1 adopted daughter. ...
A. 4 September 2010: It makes no sense for you to have to justify your life or curtail what you want to do for someone that is not really part of your life. He belongs to someone else. He's not your partner or husband, and most likely never will be. And yet he's trying ... (read in full...)
How do I learn not to be distracted by boyfriends annoying habits?
Q. My question is how to to stop getting annoyed at the quirky habits people have? I can admit that I am probably an easily annoyed person, so I will assume that my boyfriends habits are totally normal, and that instead of trying to make him stop I ...
A. 4 September 2010: My bf doesn't pick at his head, but he is often distracted or looking in different directions when I'm talking to him, or even others are talking to him. It used to really annoy me as well, but I'm starting to deal with it. As long as he is still ... (read in full...)
If we have nothing in common is it wise to get married?
Q. hey guys thanks a lot for spendin time in order to help me with my situation i ve been with my girlfriend for ages and we actually been talkin about gettin married and spendin the rest of our lives together we truly love eashother so much but th...
A. 4 September 2010: If you have nothing in common right now, you might want to try to develop some common interests. If you each pick something you each like, and the other person agrees to spend some time doing that (be it watching a show/movie you like, or games, or ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by my younger b/f, I don't want him, or the baby.
Q. need help fast! I am a 30 year old female and have a boyfriend that is 21 I just found out i was pregnant he doesn't no yet because I didn't want this to happen he already made it clear that he want's a baby by me but lately I have been having a ...
A. 2 September 2010: This doesn't sound like a condition in which you should have a baby. Not when you don't feel like you want the baby. And when it doesn't seem like this relationship is going to last. If he is childish (and he is only 21), he isn't really ready to ... (read in full...)
Is 17 too young to move out?
Q. hey i have a question and i hope you all can help me out.. ok so my question is that if im 15 now and i have a job that pays very well im saving the money that i earned to move me in to an apartment when im 17..my family thinks its bad for me to ...
A. 2 September 2010: It's not too young to move out, but you might want to make a budget so you can see how much you would save (if you would be saving much) once you started having to pay rent, buy groceries, pay for phone, internet, cable, etc etc etc. Lots of people ... (read in full...)
I'm serving in Iraq, and My wife has cheated on me.
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title.Sorry, i could not use the one you requested, as its already been used. Hello, I'm 31 yrs old and currently deployed in Iraq. About 1 month ago my wife told me that she had gotten drunk after work one night and ended sl...
A. 1 September 2010: Military stories always tug on my heartstrings since my bf is in the military too. First of all, I'm very sorry she cheated on you, and alcohol should not be an excuse, although it helps the process along. But the one bright side of this is that she ... (read in full...)
Bizarre stories on how you met your significent other?
Q. I hate the way that most couples meet today. I mean some people go to bars, others meet in the store, some grow up together best friends,introduced by friends,fall in love with their co-workers, ect. But it always seems to be the same way. They ask ...
A. 1 September 2010: Not sure if this is an interesting story on how we met, but what happened afterwards was sort of romantic. We met at a coffee shop (not terribly interesting), and became friends. But then my ex came back into my life and we got back together, and he ... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same any more... terrified to leave her in case she hurts herself.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and suddenly I don't feel the same anymore. I don't love her in that way any more, but she absolutely adores me. I'm the only decent thing in her life, she made suicide attempts in the past, an...
A. 1 September 2010: Ultimately, you're responsible for your own happiness, and this relationship isn't bringing you happiness and love, just guilt and responsibility. Her feelings of wanting to hurt herself shouldn't be your responsibility. But anyone would worry about ... (read in full...)
Any chance I could be preggers?
Q. Im 17. A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend jerked off then about 10 mins later fingered me. he didn't cum, but there was pre-cum. and he wiped his hands but did not wash them, before fingering me. now my breasts seem to have grown a little, i have m...
A. 1 September 2010: Those kinds of changes (breast and weight wise) would not happen in a couple of weeks. What you did has an extremely low chance of getting you pregnant. There's always some chance, but quite low. Just try to put it out of your mind and wait for when ... (read in full...)
Struggling with my wife’s past.....
Q. Hi I have been married for 3 years, and been in the relationship for 5 years. Before we got married, my wife told me about her past, the number of guys she has slept with which is 4.When she told me I felt uncomfortable proceeding with ...
A. 1 September 2010: 4 is actually very few. And if you can't find a way to put her past in the past, it'll be hard for you with anyone else, since these days most people have quite a past. I've had more than 4 before my partner, and he's had more like 30-50 before me. ... (read in full...)
Because of my complications with the pill is there a greater chance I could be pregnant?
Q. so i just got loestrin 24 on aug 10th and started it the first day of my period. i missed my 4th pill and took 2 on day 5 but taking two pills in one day made me so sick and i vomited the pills. i called my doctor and she said to change the time i ...
A. 1 September 2010: First of all, when you start the pill, you're not protected for the first month. It's only after the first month that it works. Second, whenever you miss a pill or vomit it up, you should use additionally protection for that month just to be on the ... (read in full...)
What can I do to toughen up or is it just that he needs to relax, or am I really that silly?
Q. Dear Cupid, Hi, I have been in a loving relationship for the past year and a half and we are very happy! My boyfriend has an incredibly stressful job, and is currently at a part of his life where he feels as though his life has become sta...
A. 1 September 2010: You are supposed to feel safe and loved in a relationship, not afraid and nervous. If you feel this way, something needs to change. He needs to know he makes you feel this way, and try to change. Or you need to leave and find someone who doesn't ... (read in full...)
Looking for someone faithful
Q. Hello forum I have no where else to turn so i came here to get help. I'm 19 years old about to finish college in about 1 1/2 years and I'm single. Here's the twist...I'm going to join the Army after I finish college and go into the infantry and ...
A. 1 September 2010: You really have no way of knowing. My boyfriend is in the military, and we've been together about 1 and a half years now, and I don't know how I will take it if he gets sent overseas. I'd like to say that I would be supportive and be able to wait, ... (read in full...)
What does everyone thinks about women choosing men who are similar to their fathers as husbands?
Q. Hi Everyone, I am adopted but was raised in what I would consider a fairly dysfinctional family unit where my mother is dominant and my father is very submissive. I am, however, very traditional in my views and believe that in a marriage a wom...
A. 31 August 2010: I'm not really sure how accurate that saying is. I certainly don't know many examples of where the man is similar to the father. And I know that I really don't want a partner similar to my father because my family life was not ideal. I think in ... (read in full...)
Sex with an ex
Q. I'm curious about something, and getting different perspectives on it, this is a hypothetical,primarily girls, cause I already know how men think seeing I am one, but can someones sexual ability's be overlooked at the expense of your love for them? ...
A. 30 August 2010: No, sex isn't enough to change how I feel about the person I love. At least so far. But then again, I've been semi-satisfied with sex in most of my relationships. What's important to me is having sex on a semi-to-regular basis and having a partner ... (read in full...)
I'm ending all contact with my ex. Is there still a chance he will come back?
Q. My ex boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me last February, because he wasn't ready for a commitment, and he didn't know what he wanted. The whole, "It's not you it's me" deal. I was heartbroken because I was happy. Since then we would hang out ...
A. 30 August 2010: This kind of playing games thing might work in the short term, but not the long. He might want to call/text/hang out more if you don't seek him out, but what does it matter if he does? This won't help make it work in an actual relationship. You ... (read in full...)
Our anniversary soon, what can I do to surprise him on a budget?
Q. My boyfriend's and mine anniversary is coming up soon. We live together but all our spare cash is going to saving up to buy a place, so we tend to live on a tight budget. I told him I would be happy with a night in with a DVD, but I want to ...
A. 30 August 2010: The best anniversary present I ever got was when my bf sent me on a clue hunt. He wrote little notes from the perspective of all our pets and put them in special places in town that we had been (restaurants, etc), just taped under posts and stuff. ... (read in full...)
Ladies what do you think of male virgins?
Q. This is a prespective question for women. Ladies, what do you think of male virgins over the age of 20? We can break this up into differnent cateogories too. What's your opinion on these scenarios, and what can they do? The guy whos...
A. 30 August 2010: I would feel uncomfortable if I was dating a guy that was a virgin for whatever reason. In this modern culture, marriage is getting pushed back, and people easily live together just to try things out. And sex is happening earlier and earlier.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me and told me I deserved it
Q. hi, me and my boyfriend have been going out with each other for 6 months now, one night we were drinking and we got into an argument, and he slapped me, and told me i deserved it, i said you shouldnt of hit me, he said no, i havnt hit you, ive only ...
A. 30 August 2010: It's not right to hit or slap someone, no matter how angry you are. If he doesn't even feel like he was in the wrong, and is saying that it's your fault, he could very well be on the way to continuing like this and getting worse. Do not let yourself ... (read in full...)
Did she lie to boost my ego?
Q. So I told my wife the other night that she's the best lover I have ever had. She smilied, waited a bit and then said, "me too baby." I don't know what the pause entailed though. Just taking in the moment or deciding whether or not to tell me a ...
A. 30 August 2010: No real way of knowing if she's telling a white lie to make you feel good or not. Out of anyone, you'd be the best judge of knowing whether she is or not, since you know how much she values honesty over not hurting someone with the truth. But the ... (read in full...)
Can I live in a non intimate relationship?
Q. My husband never wants sex. Why is that? I have a neighbor,and they are having wild sex,I can hear them every few days. I think ,it is rude, to leave the windows open, but it is like a reminder,what is missing here. Am I guilty to feel deprived and ...
A. 30 August 2010: I agree with CaringGuy, you need to talk to your husband and figure out why he doesn't want sex. If it's due to stress, or not being able to get aroused, or not feeling very passionate anymore, etc etc. Depending on why this is, you can try to solve ... (read in full...)
Ideas for 1-year relationship anniversary presents?
Q. Will you please make a suggestion of a present - appropriate for a 1 -year anniversary of a relationship? Not quite expensive, maybe rather symbolic? Would you also share your history of presents for anniversaries of your own relationships? ...
A. 30 August 2010: Hmm, for our 6 month anniversary, I blew up a balloon for every day we were together (that's around 170-190 balloons) and put them in the house so he'd see them when he walked in.
For another special occasion, I got an engraved photo album fo... (read in full...)
I keep finding things from his ex!
Q. I snooped in my boyfriend flat, wrong I know but I do not trust him. I found an big folder, the biggest one in the pile. His ex g/f was polish and it had all these polish to English translation. Also There were love letters...One said this "You...
A. 30 August 2010: I hate finding things associated with my boyfriend's ex too, but it happens. Past relationships happened and stuff accumulates. People have things in boxes and then forget that they even exist, or lose track of where they are. I know I have pictures ... (read in full...)
What happened to our sex life?
Q. Look..im very upset.. My girlfriend (I think) is losing sex drive with me...when we first started dating she swallowed and like a little bit of anal. Now 4 years later she will not do any of it...and we haven't had sex in amonth...what is going on?...
A. 30 August 2010: Four years of a relationship is plenty of time for passion to fade if you don't work at keeping it alive. Sex can get routine and almost like a chore easily, since it's often the same thing with the same person, over and over. So bring up some ... (read in full...)
Am I infertile or is it my boyfriend?
Q. okay. Here goes. Im 19 and my bf is 18... We have been goin out 4 thre years now. I lost my virginity to him in the second year of relationship. I have been on the pill for about six months during that second year. nOW i am off da pill for so long,...
A. 30 August 2010: It took me a little over a year of having pretty frequent unprotected sex before I got pregnant with my boyfriend. I was starting to worry that one of us was infertile, and decided to see a doctor if it went on for much longer (but then I got ... (read in full...)
I need help on planning a romantic night!
Q. I'm planning a romantic night in a hotel for me and my boyfriend this weekend, but the thing is, i am no good with these things, how can i make it romantic? should i buy lingerie, rose petals, things like that?..Please help me! ...
A. 30 August 2010: On the more romantic side:
- candles are great for setting mood, lots of tealights or small votives set around the room. scented candles are nice and relaxing too
- I agree with Jill, fake rose petals are much easier than real roses
- mood music (... (read in full...)
How can he think his behavior is acceptable?
Q. Im fuming! Me and bf were meant to be doing something today.... i text him this morning saying what did he want to do later on and that was 5 hours ago, its now 3pm and ive not heard from him. I have also called him once and no answer. He seems to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Yes, it's really annoying when your partner doesn't contact you, especially when you have plans together. And it can be a very frustrating habit if it occurs regularly. But getting mad really won't help. People react to anger and getting accused ... (read in full...)
My selfish husband, what to do?
Q. [MOD NOTE: OP's OWN TITLE] Recently I moved to a new state because my Husband is the military. So he refuses to teach me how to drive. I am city girl, I never expected to have to get my license as I rode the bus/train in NYC. So when our move hap...
A. 30 August 2010: It really is rather strange that your husband won't teach you how to drive. Is there a particular reason for this? Is he too busy? Or not a good teacher (ie not patient enough to teach you)? I know people that can't teach people how to drive because ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he has waited long enough but I don't want to lose my virginity
Q. what should i do?i dont wanna lose my virginity. i am 22 years.and i am in relationship from past 5 years.me and my b.f have done oral sex many times.but now he wants me to lose my viriginty for him and i dont wanna lose it before my marriage...
A. 29 August 2010: Only you can decide how important your virginity is to you. If it is really important to you to keep it until marriage, that's your right, and you should find someone that holds the same values, or is willing to wait that long. But at the same time, ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend thinks its ok to push my buttons, treat me badly and then break up with me!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 yeare. the last three have been on and off. We break up and then get back together. I have done nothing less then shower her with love and affection. I treat her very well, she will tell you that. However, ...
A. 29 August 2010: What you can do to make it right is to make her see that she needs to put effort into making the relationship work. It's not up to you to always pursue. It's not up to you to always apologize and try so hard. If you're always doing that, it lets her ... (read in full...)
Our baby is 6 months old and my girlfriend wants another
Q. hi my GF is wanting another baby but i dont know what to do as. 1. neither of us have jobs 2. she has realy bad PND 3. finds it hard to cope with our son 4. i think she also had PTS 5. doesnt do much with our son now 6. our son is currently 6 m...
A. 29 August 2010: Having another baby at a time like this is definitely not the answer to her problems. You should have them when you both feel ready to cope with them. One baby right now is already tough enough to take care of. If she has PND, she needs to see a ... (read in full...)
We had sex but she cant remember her last period
Q. hi i had sex with my gf,but i didnt use condom.i didnt ejaculated in her.i gave her "ipill"a emergency contraceptive pill within 30 mins. i had some secretion on my penis when i entered her is it possible that she can get pregnant. plz. tell i m ...
A. 29 August 2010: The emergency after pill is pretty effective when you take it so quickly after sex. Paired with the fact that you didn't actually ejaculate. So it's unlikely that she is pregnant. If it was the 8th of this month, it hasn't even been a month yet, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend or this other guy? Three is a crowd...
Q. Me and my bf have been together for a while! When we're good we're good but when we're bad we're bad! We have separated many times, well this last time I dated a guy whom has been nothing but a close friend, he listened to all my problems, he was my ...
A. 28 August 2010: Serious relationships should be for good or for bad. So when it's bad, you and your partner need to sit down and work through it to make it better, or decide to go your different ways. Going back and forth between guys or being off-and-on with one ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship with a high doom factor worth pursuing?
Q. Hello! Just wanted to know your thoughts. If a relationship has a high doom factor, is it worth pursuing? Would you pursue it? I met someone recently but he lives very far, not to mention he's at a very different stage of his life to m...
A. 28 August 2010: It's unlikely that I would want to pursue it. I've been in long-distance relationships before, and they're hard enough when they're temporary, but to start off right off the bat with long-distance from the beginning and for the foreseeable future, ... (read in full...)
Started without a condom -- could she be pregnant?
Q. Ok I have a question....my and my girl (LDS) where going to have sex, but she wanted to take my virginity....bareback if you will. No protection for the immediate start. Well we did and then I put a condom on and we had sex. Now I am worried....
A. 28 August 2010: It's pretty unlikely that you would have got her pregnant. Precum already has a lower rate of impregnating someone. People that are actually trying to have a baby can take up to a year to get pregnant. So I wouldn't worry too much about it if it has ... (read in full...)
Am I lost in this heartbreak?
Q. About 5 years ago I fell in love with this girl. We had the most amazing conversations. We had great chemistry. We were pratically the same despite being opposite. ( She's latin, preppy, and a dancer. I'm jewish, a metal head and a artist.) An...
A. 28 August 2010: Don't give up hope. Heartbreak hurts. And chances are you're going to face it again. So far I've probably had my heart broken at least 4-5 times? Relationships are hard. Breaking up is hard. Not getting the one you care about is hard. I know it's a ... (read in full...)
Involved with a married man who cheats with others but I won't leave him
Q. I am in a relationship with a married man who also sees other people. I knew this going into the relationship. I did not care, because I am obsessed. I will not leave under any circumstances, as I am that codependent. I love him, and that's ...
A. 28 August 2010: Codependency is a problem. No matter what relationship you are in. And this is in no way an ideal relationship. If you want him in a monogamous relationship, you should be able to have that. I'm sorry for not giving you the answer you want, but I ... (read in full...)
My family and friends don't think I should have got back with him. Help!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are back together after a 3 month break, the prolem is my friends and family aren't pleased for me because its a long distance relationshop they think im stupid for it but they dont understand how i feel. Also, I have my friends ...
A. 28 August 2010: It's understandable that they aren't happy that you're going back into your long-distance relationship. Because chances are that they've seen people in them or were in them themselves and realize that lots of the time, they don't work out. So the ... (read in full...)
He got upset that I told his to seek help!!!
Q. I have a bf and we have been dating for nearly 3 years now. I think that he's the perfect guy for me except he has a problem..he has an anger management issue and he's been trying to get better(he's even taking boxing classes to take away the stress ...
A. 27 August 2010: If you really feel that he is for you, and as long his anger issues are not so extreme that he abuses you in any way, then be patient. Definitely professional help could be the answer, but he has to be willing to go and work to confront his problem. ... (read in full...)
How can I motivate my GF to lose wight??
Q. I've been with my girlfriend now for 15 months. She's always been overweight and it did bother me, and I spoke to her about it and she said she would do something about it. She became very motivated in working out and eating right, but as ti...
A. 27 August 2010: Well, I want to get fit too, and I know it's hard to motivate myself to go to the gym. Especially since I already look fit (skinny), but want to be athletically fit. But anyways, it's hard to go. There's other things you want to do, like watch tv or ... (read in full...)
I feel I need revenge on him!
Q. Hey guys i just got heart broken and im happy that im moving on but i still cant understand y he would leave me FOR HIS FEMALE FRIEND when i was there for him , I PUT UP WITH LOT HIS CRAP AND LIES ! SOMETIMES I FEEL K NEXT MIN IM HURT! I need ...
A. 27 August 2010: Revenge is definitely not a good idea for many of the reasons people have already said. It could lead to legal repercussions. And you want to look back at yourself and be able to say that you're proud of how you acted.
He screwed up. You'll b... (read in full...)
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