| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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Anything but a fairytale..
Q. About 5 years ago I met once of the nicest sweetest people in the world and fell in love with her. Sounds like a fairy tale, but it is anything but. The truth is that from the get go I based our relationship on a lie and I had fidelity problems. ...
A. 12 November 2010: Despite the history that the 2 of you have, this is a somewhat new relationship. It's a new start, and from what you're saying, it seems like she doesn't want to start it off indebted to her boyfriend, which is reasonable. The living situation is ... (read in full...)
If I'm on an online dating site just chatting, would you call that cheating?
Q. hi i have a boyfriend that nobody approves of i like him alot but the strain of sneaking out to see him is taking its toll. its hard 4 me to lie about were im going all the time. but i really like him and dont feel ready to break up with him. he ...
A. 12 November 2010: I would say this is at least toeing the line of cheating. And many people do consider this to be a form of cheating.
Are you telling the people you talk to that you are single or taken? Does your boyfriend know you're on the site or are you hidi... (read in full...)
What are the rules of giving one space?
Q. Recently the guy I've been dating for 7 months now (not my bf..just dating) has been acting not like himself..he's also not been showing so much attention that I am use to. Then I found out he is mourning from a loss family member that happened a ...
A. 12 November 2010: I would say that it depends on what he contacts you saying. If he asks you a question, then text him or call him back in response. But if it is sort of a stand-alone thing like, "I miss you" or something, reply back but keep it very short and don't ... (read in full...)
I told my best friend what her husband had said, and now her husband and my boyfriend have turned against me!
Q. Drama! Drama! Drama! My boyfriend, my best friend and her husband and i aré really cool.. We text or call each other all the time.. Well my boyfriend and her husband were friends before they met us and she and i were friends before we met them... ...
A. 12 November 2010: People generally don't like other people to know what's wrong with their lives, unless they're the ones themselves telling you about it. Try to imagine how you would feel if someone else told you that your boyfriend was ranting to you about how ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend puts me on the back burner.
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now. We are both 20 years old. I really love him, except for the fact that his friends seem to never get enough of him. They are constantly calling or texting him when we are together. We hang ...
A. 12 November 2010: No, I don't think you are making a big deal out of nothing. He seems to be spending a lot of time with his friends already, and you only get to see him once a week? And even then he thinks that he never gets to have fun, because he sees you once a ... (read in full...)
I moved int with my boyfriend without my mom knowing and shes not happy
Q. My boyfriend and i have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years,we seen each other last year.On oct 11,2010,i moved out of my moms house,without letting her know where i was going.I went to my bf house and stayed for 3 weeks,and my mom ...
A. 8 November 2010: Your mother shouldn't be able to call the police to get you to come home. You're 27 and way beyond the age of a legal adult. You can make your own decisions about what you want to do. It's a matter of standing up for what you want. Make it clear ... (read in full...)
Is it strange that me and my fiance don't shower together?
Q. My Cousin stayed the weekend with me and my Fiance recently and we had got done making Dinner and he went to take a Shower and my Cousin says 'your not gonna take a shower with him' and i say No 'Why and she says have you ever showered together, i ...
A. 8 November 2010: It's a little odd that you've never showered together in 3.5 years. Usually couples try it for fun. But lots of couples don't shower together all the time or even that often. It's not that great to be standing in the cold while waiting for the other ... (read in full...)
My pms is ruining my relationship
Q. My pms is ruining my relationship. Men, what can we women do to make it easier on you? We do not realize we are mean, and rude and irrational until after the fact. Help me because I am ruining my relationship and I do not think he can take much ...
A. 7 November 2010: Like Aunty BimBim said, a good idea would be to talk to your doctor to see if there's anything that could help.
But as for other things to do, are you mean and snappy because you're in pain? I find that I am, so if you can minimize the pain, ho... (read in full...)
How can I drop this college course without serious problems?
Q. I have a college related issue and ive had good experience with aunts giving good responses, so ill ask here. I took an Art History 100 course this semester. Everything was going great up until the first of two exams in this class. All of the 10 ...
A. 7 November 2010: You should be able to talk to the head of the faculty or the academic adviser for your program. You can talk to them about how the course is, how bad your prof is, and what you can do.
Generally profs can't fail the whole class. I've been in ... (read in full...)
How can I save money!
Q. Hi i'm a college student, currently not working. i'm a bad spender when it comes to money, it's like having water in pocket. i need help with saving money, can someone pls give me some ideas on how to save money...
A. 7 November 2010: Keep a budget. As in take a piece of paper and divide it into subcategories like bills, food, transportation, school, entertainment, etc. Then think about how much it's reasonable to be spending in those categories each month. Then write down how ... (read in full...)
I'm due in 2.5 weeks and I'm not ready for this child!
Q. So as not confuse you, I'll put these facts in list form: -My husband and I are both 19 (he'll be 20 the end of this month) and we've been together for two years (tomorrow is our two year anniversary). -We've been married for three months an...
A. 7 November 2010: It's okay to feel confused and overwhelmed. Pregnancy and having a baby is a big change, and it's normal to feel unsure about things. So do what you feel you need to do. Talk to whoever you feel comfortable talking to about things. Take it a day at ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always answers his cell phone no matter where or what he is doing!
Q. my boyfriend of 9 months always answers his mobile phone, even if we are at friends house or in a restaurant, sometimes its his ex wife, he chats but sometimes its about nothing in particular, I get angry and think its very rude, he thinks I am ...
A. 7 November 2010: From what you're saying, it's hard to tell whether he has bad manners with respect to this or not. Generally you answer your phone whenever it rings. You turn it off or on silent at the movies and places that you can't have phones, but other than ... (read in full...)
I feel he is getting an easy ride ...
Q. My partner has been living with me full time for a year now and he pays me £400 a month for his keep. My living expenses probably amount to about £1,500 a month and I am now feeling that he is getting an easy ride with what he gives me. Apar...
A. 6 November 2010: Money is definitely a hot spot for couples. You definitely should not have to feel as though you are carrying the finances. And you should not have to hound him for his contribution. I'll tell you what me and my partner did when we started arguing ... (read in full...)
He wont tell his ex I exist but its ok for her to be spending my money....
Q. Im in a relationship of 3 years. My b/f is great in many ways but there is this one big problem. He wont tell his ex that I exist and I dont know what to do anymore. He has two children by this woman, money is very tight at the moment and I know ...
A. 5 November 2010: That would be unacceptable behaviour even if he wasn't spending your money. There's truth to the fact that it isn't any of her business, but the fact that he actually tries to hide it from her by making you be quiet while he's on the phone, etc is ... (read in full...)
How do I become more than your "nice guy" ?
Q. I will be 25 within the next couple months and have never had a girlfriend. I've kissed two girls and by some miracle lost my virginity a few years back, so I've had sex a total of one time in my life. I don't really go around broadcasting this ...
A. 5 November 2010: It really depends on how you're meeting these people and how you're trying to date them to be able to tell in what way you're being too nice or being put in the friend zone.
But I'll try to give some tips.
Like others have said, have friends set ... (read in full...)
I'm single, 20 and want a baby
Q. i want a baby but am single i am 20 yrs old al my friends have babies and i have always wanted to be a parent young from a very young age what should i do this is gettin me realy down ? ...
A. 2 November 2010: Are you financially capable of having a baby?
Are you ready to give up to a large extent your life for the next 16 years?
Are you ready for the effect having a baby will have on your chance for a relationship? Not many guys want to date a mom.
... (read in full...)
We are broken up but I catch him staring at me
Q. Ok so its been about 4 days since my ex has broken up with me and everytime at school like at lunch or when we're walking to class,I catch him looking at me. Not like a glare or anything,but just almost like starring. Does this starring mean ...
A. 2 November 2010: It probably means that he's in the adjusting period after a break up. You've broken up and he might not be over it yet. It's probably weird to not be talking to you or close to you like before the break up. Maybe he's wondering what you're thinking ... (read in full...)
I'm confused regarding my boyfriend's fantasy!
Q. Is it weird that my boyfriend has a fantasy to watch me with another guy? Usually they want to see 2 girls but not another guy with their girl. Anyone experienced this ever? ...
A. 2 November 2010: I've experienced this, and it can be pretty fun. My boyfriend probably prefers this to 2 girls, because it's not as exhausting for him, and he enjoys seeing me pleasured.
I think the idea behind it is the guy likes to see his girl getting ... (read in full...)
Opinions from guys & girls needed! What to do when you accept his proposal but don't like the ring!
Q. This is a question for both guys and girls. Girls - If your boyfriend proposed to you and you accepted but you truly did not like the engagement ring as it was the complete oposite of what you like, would you tell him and risk breaking his hea...
A. 2 November 2010: I would probably try to put up with it for awhile to see if I could adapt to liking it. I've found that with jewellery, we tend to have our ideal look, so when our partner buys us something, if it's even a little off or not like what we usually ... (read in full...)
First time sex anxiety!
Q. how to overcome anxiety in first sexual intercourse?...
A. 2 November 2010: Set some ground rules with your partner. Let them know you might be uncomfortable, so you guys can take your time. Maybe over several encounters, taking it slightly further each time. ... (read in full...)
I don't know where I am going wrong in this relationship!
Q. Hi everyone; Been with my ex girlfriend for 5 years and been lived together for the past 2 years. Im 26 and she is 22 so we been together since she was 17 and i was 21. While we been living together she left me 5 times but 4 of them took couple...
A. 1 November 2010: Essentially you're having a relationship with someone who isn't really there. You obviously must care for her and want to be with her, if you've stood by her for 5 years while she flip-flopped and went back and forth. But she doesn't know what she's ... (read in full...)
Why buy the cow when the milk is free???
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and things are really good. We've discussed where we see our relationship going and we both agree on marriage in the short term future (say next 4 years). We've also talked about living together and ...
A. 1 November 2010: You should be able to know whether your bf is serious about a future and wants to get married. That said, there probably are those that would say one thing (that they will get married), but never go through with it.
I personally think that liv... (read in full...)
My husband is living with his mistress but says he loves me
Q. Hi. My husband has moved out and in with his mistress. He met her on facebook and had an online relationship with her for several months before meeting in person. I found out shortly after, but he did not end the affair and now lives with her, has ...
A. 31 October 2010: What you're husband is doing is the epitome of selfishness. He's married to you and a father of 4, but is carrying around and supporting a mistress. Then he wants you and the kids to come visit him and communicate with him like nothing is wrong? ... (read in full...)
I want my cheating girlfriend back!
Q. hi, im 18 years old and i just had my first relationship ever which ended yesterday, it was going on the 6 month mark. in our first month, she kissed/made out with two of her guy friends then told me about it( within 2 weeks of them both happen...
A. 29 October 2010: I think you're making the right decision to give it time. When you love someone, it's hard moving from a relationship to broken up or a break, because it's a shock. To go from that comfort and familiarity to the unknown. So give yourself and her ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose?
Q. How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose? Without giving him any kind of specific time limit, or making it too obvious that I'm waiting? It would be preferable if he did it on his own. But how long is too long to wait?...
A. 29 October 2010: If you're 18-21, you're looking at at least 5 years before you reach the limit of how long is too long to wait. I was with my first bf at 18 years old, we were together for 3.5 years, got engaged after 3 years, and broke up a few months later. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself wishing the worst on my ex and his new wife?
Q. My ex broke up with me about a year ago,we had been together two years.I had no idea he was planning to leave me.We had a child together she was around 15 mounths.So me and my daughter had to find somewhere else to live.It was really confusing,and ...
A. 29 October 2010: Seeing and talking to a counsellor could be great, but I know that's not an option for everyone. So other than that, remember that you're the one who took the high road. He cheated on you, left you. And you're still trying to do the right thing with ... (read in full...)
Can this relationship grow?
Q. My boyfriend and I don't have anything in common. He has things that he like to do and the same for me. He stated to me that he don't think our relationship will grow because we don't have anything in common. He wanted me to listen to this song of ...
A. 29 October 2010: People like certain things or enjoy doing certain things, and they generally want their friends and partners to enjoy some of the same things. So I don't think that if you have nothing in common, you will be able to make it too much further than ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I'm in love with her, even though she has a boyfriend?
Q. I have a problem I need help with. I'm in love with my best friend. We've been stuck to each other for four years. She has never hurt me. She has always been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. When she has a problem or just needs a ...
A. 29 October 2010: It depends on what result you want. If you just want to get it off your chest and confess so maybe you can start to move on, then go ahead. But if you want her to accept you and date you or still be best friends with you, you might not want to. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's mom doesn't like me at all!
Q. I have another question I want to ask its about my parents and my girlfriend's mom. Her mom doesn't like me at all and my parents think her mom will do anything to get rid of me now her mom already lighten up about me and my girlfriend only just a ...
A. 29 October 2010: Be polite and respectful. Greet them when you go over to their house. Make small talk. Show interest. Over time, they will get more used to you and start to like you. Also, make sure they can see that you treat their daughter well and care about ... (read in full...)
What should a guy do about hair down below?
Q. what exactly should a guy do with his pubic hair? i seem to have alot, although i'm not sure how much alot really is... Do any girls have some advice or suggestions?...
A. 28 October 2010: Please trim at least. Better yet, shave it, including on the balls. I'm not saying that all girls don't like it, but generally I think the impression is not great, and it interferes with "fun activities". Girls don't like getting hair in their mouth ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that I was attacked? I don't want to upset her while she is away, so can it wait until she returns?
Q. My girlfriend is away on a business trip and i recently got attacked when i was in the city and sustained 27 stiches on my head, she will be back in a weeks time, i am feeling much better, should i keep this incident unknown to her until she ...
A. 25 October 2010: Yes, tell her. A girl wants to be the first to know if anything happens to her partner. She'll probably worry/be upset, but just reassure her that you're okay. ... (read in full...)
Does fighting make a relationship stronger?
Q. I have a problem. My gf and I have been fighting quite a lot recently, and we always say were sorry, but the fights get worse and warse, is it true that fighting makes relationships stronger? Because she is giving hints that she wants to give up on ...
A. 25 October 2010: Fighting doesn't exactly make relationships stronger, but I think I know where you're coming from when you say that. It's not the fighting that makes it stronger (not if you just keep fighting and the fights get worse). It's what you do with the ... (read in full...)
I have been called a "wasp" - what does that mean?
Q. if someones calls you a wasp what does that mean?...
A. 25 October 2010: Generally these days I believe wasp refers to rich, spoiled, stuck up, etc. ... (read in full...)
Our LDR seems to be self destructing!
Q. I need some sound advice... I have been a relationship for almost 1.5 years now. My boyfriend loves me a lot;and i love him a LOT too. But our relationship seems to be self - destructive...its a long distance rel'ship for one. And two, we ke...
A. 24 October 2010: 2-3 years of LDR is a very long time, especially on top of however long you've been in a LDR up til now. I've been in my share of LDRs for much shorter periods of time, and even that was tough, and most of the times we broke up.
Fighting is much ... (read in full...)
We had sex, all was good, then he dumped me via text!
Q. Alright so here's the deal. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month. Everything was going Super Great! Then one day, The morning was really good.. we woke up together.. we were cuddling.. he told me he loved me and didn't want to lose ...
A. 24 October 2010: I hate to say this, but some guys have a tendency to do this. They hide the fact that they are unsure about the relationship or any problems they are having with it. Guys seem to dislike fighting and discussions, so just try to avoid the ... (read in full...)
What's the point of a woman being confident if there's always going to be another woman that's better-looking than you?
Q. hey iv just had this question in my head a few days and i just wondered what mabye you guys thought ? whats the point in woman being confident if theres always going to be another girl thats always better looking then you ? theres perfect girls ev...
A. 22 October 2010: There's always going to be better looking girls, but there will never be someone that is the same as you. So a girl might be prettier but she won't have the same sense of humour or cute laugh. Or won't read the same books, and have the same passion ... (read in full...)
Is it necessary to tell someone you're dating about your past?
Q. How much do you tell a guy you love about ur past, about passed hook ups, stupid things uve done, is it really necessary? wouuldn't he have a bad image of me when i know that im not this person. Im afraid he wont trust me if he knows about my past ...
A. 19 October 2010: If you have an std you should say so. If you are married or have been married, probably should say so. If you have kids, you should say so. Other than that, you don't have to tell unless they ask. If they do ask, don't lie and don't try to hide it. ... (read in full...)
Should I dump him for being controlling about my eating habits?
Q. My boyfriend tells me that I shouldn't eat as much as I do, and then when I started getting self conscious about it, or "listening to him" it all went down hill. He noticed at first that I wasn't eating as much as I used to, which was what he ...
A. 19 October 2010: I guess that should depend on the reason why he said you shouldn't eat as much. Was it because you were unhealthily overweight? Overeating unhealthy foods? If so, that might have been well-intentioned advice. ... (read in full...)
He says he just needs time
Q. More Guy advice. It's all i ever seem to come on here for tbh :\. My ex and I broke up a few months ago. Since then we've been on and off three times and its been getting better between us. I still love him and i am very much in love with him he m...
A. 19 October 2010: When you commit, you commit in the present, not somewhere down the line. You're broken up, he's seeing someone else, what are you waiting for? He can't have you waiting for him, and be sleeping with and dating other girls at the same time. And who's ... (read in full...)
Tips on positive thinking
Q. Hi, i've always been an over thinker to the worst degree and tend to "live inside my head". Usually when i'm alone this tends to get worse. I'm currently trying very hard to not think about certain problems i.e. guy trouble. What i'd like to know ...
A. 19 October 2010: When you find your mind wandering or worrying, do something if you can. Watch t.v., read a book, call a friend. If you're stuck in a situation where you can't distract yourself with a task like that (say you're walking or driving), think about ... (read in full...)
He says I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for a relationship
Q. I have started seeing this guy and I absolutly, no doubt about it really like him. he says he likes me too but...theres always a but, he says he doesnt want a relationship with anyone and that I shouldnt hold my breath, though he keeps on talking ...
A. 19 October 2010: Like the previous posts say, he's looking for a friends with benefits. Or maybe just a friend/hang out buddy. I see this happening to so many people around me now. The guy says he doesn't want to give the wrong impression, that he just wants to be ... (read in full...)
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