| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
|
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 8 July 2013: Absolutely dump her. Her actions are beyond something that you could work through. She was dishonest, disrespectful, and endangered your health. Not only did she not tell you about the STD (which is only right considering you are her sexual ... (read in full...)
How do I get my clingy, overbearing and unwilling-to-change-that boyfriend to calm down while I'm visiting my parents?
Q. Hello all, I am wondering what you guys would consider normal boundaries and communication frequency in a relationship. Me and my boyfriend live together near our college, but I came back home for a couple of weeks to visit my family. He hates it ...
A. 8 July 2013: The problem is that there is no level of communication where he won't feel abandoned AND you won't feel smothered. I'm pretty sure that EVEN with the texting ALL DAY and the calls that get dragged on several hours and the calls that interrupt your ... (read in full...)
Should I pay towards my girlfriend's second holiday this year despite other important financial commitments
Q. become less dramatic after some close calls in terms of our relationship that neither of us want to repeat. In short, we’re able to deal with and adapt to each other’s dominant personalities and the problems they produce between us much better. ...
A. 5 July 2013: You should NOT be paying for her trips, especially when you don't agree that it is an affordable expense at the moment. I don't really think you should have paid for so much of her previous trips before, but if you guys have decided that you share ... (read in full...)
I found condoms in my girlfriends drawer but we don't use them since she is on the pill
Q. im in a 1 year 3 month long distance relationship with my girlfriend. we see each other every two months due to school and work and we live in different countries. I have been her first one and she is on the pill so we dont use any kind of ...
A. 2 July 2013: Yeah, it's a completely reasonable explanation. If she forgets to take the pill, it could make condoms necessary. Also, there are lots of medications that alter the effectiveness of the pill (antibiotics being one). So given that these condoms were ... (read in full...)
Should men stand up and get involved for their partners?
Q. I have a question about men standing up for their partners. My husband today told me a story about a woman at a wedding who was being picked on by another female guest. The woman went on and on but the lady who was being picked on's husband did ...
A. 23 June 2013: I think you should be able to handle yourself, however, I do think that it is inconsiderate of him to just sit there and ignore people being rude and mean to you. I don`t think it`s solely the man`s job/responsibility to do the standing up for or ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 12 June 2013: People make life-changing decisions all the time without knowing how they will for sure feel about it. If you are choosing a certain career over another, you won't know how you will feel about it until years later when you are doing it. Even then, ... (read in full...)
How to reach a decision with my unplanned pregnancy?
Q. i'm 26 and had planned to go back to study. I discovered I was pregnant a few months after getting laid off my job. Can things get any worse? My boyfriend wants to keep it but I'm not sure. I've been to counselling and it hasn't helped much. I'...
A. 5 June 2013: It's a really tough decision, and either choice you make will be hard. I had an unplanned pregnancy and I went back and forth on what I should do. I debated back and forth between abortion and having it. When I thought I had settled on one, I ... (read in full...)
Can you think of advice that could give me encouragement with the big life change I'm facing?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles: It seems like I need encouragement. I wish it were something my folks could give me. I have been in a stable and loving relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I am in my mid-twenties now and he is in his thirtie...
A. 24 May 2013: Don't worry, you are doing everything right. You are prepared financially. You are ready to apply for jobs. Both you and your boyfriend want to move in together. He is prepared to help you out if you can't get a job. You have been together for a ... (read in full...)
Porn is just images of women on a screen. The men will never meet those porn stars. So why is watching porn such an issue for women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. T hey are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 April 2013: I think a lot of good comments have already been posted. So I just wanted to add the fact that sometimes it's not that the porn is a problem - it's the fact that it's being hidden. The most frustrating thing I found was that when my boyfriend was ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when you call your past partners"friends" instead of "exes"?
Q. Would you refer to someone you dated years ago as a "friend" or an "ex girlfriend". My boyfriend always calls girls he went to school with "friends" even though I'm pretty sure they are girls that he dated. I'm not sure why he does that. He's very ...
A. 15 April 2013: I think it depends on how significant of a thing was between them. If it didn't make that big an impression, if it was a long time ago, if they are friends now and the relationship or fling part of it has sort of been forgotten, it's easy to just ... (read in full...)
My husband's friendship with a co-worker has escalated. Now that I know he wants to still stay friends with her. I said no. Am I wrong?
Q. My husband's friendship with a co-worker has escalated to kissing and pet names and intimate vocabulary via emails. We recently became friends as couples and have enjoy their company on a few occasions. Upon noticing unusual private conversa...
A. 11 March 2013: Hmmm, staying friends and in contact with the person that he cheated on you with.....Sounds like a recipe for disaster. And it shows he isn't taking things seriously about making things work between you. Instead, he finds it more important to stay ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend brought up a boy's night out and I wasn't thrilled. We never talked it all out, do I bring it up again?
Q. my boyfriend and i are in our almost late twenties and have been dating for about 6 months..everything is going great and it's the best relationship i have been in. We both truly love each other and he treats me very well and vice versa.I can ...
A. 6 March 2013: With your boyfriend working during the week, the weekends are the only real free time he has. And so far he has been spending all that free time 100% with you, from Friday evening all the way to Monday morning. It makes sense that his friends would ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unwillingness to save money is affecting our future and I don't know what to do about it
Q. Me and my boyfriend are complete opposites when it comes to money. He's all about spend, spend, spend and I'm the save, save, save type which is causing problems between us. Any time he works he wants to spend it all instead of saving. We're trying ...
A. 1 March 2013: Sit him down and talk about the future and money. Ask him where he sees himself in a couple of years, in 5 years, in 10 years. Does he see himself with a house? Cars? Having gone on a few trips/vacations? Cottage? Kids? What kind of life does he ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my mother will be disappointed that I'm pregnant
Q. I'm 24 years old and almost 2 months pregnant. I don't know what to do. I have a completely understanding family's and my child's father is in the picture and he's completely supportive. I haven't told my mother. I'm afraid that she will be ...
A. 21 February 2013: She might be disappointed. She probably will be a bit disappointed that things didn't happen in a different timeline. But it's only because she loves you and wants the best for you. She probably wanted you to enjoy being young, travel, start a ... (read in full...)
Is marriage worth it? Should I give up on the idea of being married at my age?
Q. I just wondered, to those of you who are on here who are married, is it worth it? I'm approaching 40 and had loads of boyfriends but never yet met someone I seriously wanted to marry. I really loved some of them but knew it wasn't right in some wa...
A. 20 February 2013: Yes, I do think marriage does make my life more meaningful, in that it's an important part of my life. It doesn't mean that I would be unfulfilled if I weren't married. It's just something that has taken time to build and cultivate, and does add ... (read in full...)
My guy is 20 and acts like he's 15. I'm pregnant and really love him but he doesn't grow up!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years on and off. Well lately, things has been going downhill. It has been like that for a while now. No matter what i do or say, he still acts like he doesnt care or treat me like i should. In the past...
A. 20 February 2013: Think about how he treats you, and think about how you would feel if he treats your child like that. Because that will be how he is. He won't be there for the baby. He will gamble away his money instead of buying necessities. He will spend time ... (read in full...)
Extreme loneliness from a sudden long-distance relationship
Q. Hi everyone, I've been having an extremely difficult week, and I guess I just need reassurance that it does get better, and maybe some new tips for very long distance relationships. My boyfriend and best friend, whom I have lived with for almos...
A. 19 February 2013: Long distance definitely isn't fun while you are going through it, but some of my best memories are of when I was long distance. It forces you to get creative to show you are in a committed relationship and to keep it going. Things that can help ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating on my b/f because I'm depressed and its the one thing I can control?
Q. I've started cheating on my partner, not because of anything he has done, we arent having problems and i'm not bored or anything. It's to do with my past, I've had a lot of problems and depression over the last 2 years or so. (I've never cheated ...
A. 18 February 2013: I don't think cheating shows that you are in control. If anything, you are being controlled by your depression and life circumstances. How does cheating on a partner that has done nothing wrong and is there for you getting control of your life? If ... (read in full...)
If the Past is the Past with regards to Sexual History, why do some keep in touch
Q. Hello, this site has been great for me and my relationship over the past months. Been reading many other post over many months and one thing seems to stick out or contradict each other. So just wanted to hear some thoughts on this. My ques...
A. 4 February 2013: When it comes to sexual past, I believe in a "don't tell unless someone asks." Even if they ask, minimal detail is best. Because many people will get jealous once they know the intimate details. And if someone doesn't ask, why would you go and tell ... (read in full...)
I found out the guy I'm dating was posting for no strings sex on Craig's List! What should I do?
Q. I started dating this guy who's really sweet and nice but I found out that before we met he was posting looking for no strings sex in the casual sex ads on Craigslist which I'm a little freaked out about. (he didn't tell me, I kind of stumbled on it ...
A. 4 February 2013: I have to say I disagree with Honeypie on this one. How is someone going out to the bar and trying to get lucky with a one-night stand different from someone posting to get no-strings attached sex? So will the guy that goes out to get one-night ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be my boyfriend's doormat but I am!
Q. Hi My bf of 3 years didnt contact me for a week, tod he called me and said he was busy. Thats it no explanation watsver for his behaviour and no aplologies and now he is not picking up his call again. I know he is not treating me right. I want...
A. 4 February 2013: Imagine a life with your ideal partner, what do you want from him? Marriage? Kids? Breakfast in bed? Hosting family and friends for Christmas? And then try to imagine your bf in that role. Would he be there at the wedding? You're in your dress ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant! How do I tell my parents who don't like the guy and don't even know we've been seeing one another?
Q. What is the best way to tell my parent's I'm pregnant and that the father is 7 years older then? My parent's are strict Christians and for the past year, I have kept my relationship a secret as they didn't approve of my boyfriend as a friend l...
A. 4 February 2013: I actually don't think you should take the guy with you the first time you go to talk to them about this. Yes, he is now going to be the father of your child and will be involved in all this. But this is going to be a huge shock for your parents. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes plans and then can't keep them claiming that he has forgotten. This happens all the time!
Q. I am 27 and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. The problem is he always forgets about plans we make and ends up cancelling on me at the last minute. For example, months ago we were invited out to a meal for my friend's birthday which is ...
A. 2 February 2013: It does show that he doesn't care that much, and it is extremely disrespectful to you and his friends, and unprofessional with his music business. He needs to get on top of this. His attitude does seem like an unprofessional, immature, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is another woman's 'back up guy' in case they're not married by 40! How would you feel about this?
Q. Dear All, How would you act if your boyfriend told you he was another girls back up guy and if there both still 40 they would get married as his rich and reliable? I feel this is disrespectful and it"s upset me but he can't see why? Opinions p...
A. 26 January 2013: I think this is not that serious. It's something that was in several movies and TV shows, and started people joking and talking about it. It doesn't mean that they will marry each other. It doesn't even mean that they want to. If they wanted to be ... (read in full...)
How do I get over constantly feeling anxious about my husband working with so many girls who idolize him?
Q. My husband and I have been together for five years. Three years into our relationship, he got a new job. He manages a store, with a lot of employees. He works closely with a lot of females, all of which of course idolize him as he's the boss. One ...
A. 22 January 2013: Okay, I think everyone was confused because in your post you said,
"Now I have a complex about everyone he works with, and a new girl started of whom he also often works with. She's married with a baby, which he thinks makes it impossib... (read in full...)
How do I get over constantly feeling anxious about my husband working with so many girls who idolize him?
Q. My husband and I have been together for five years. Three years into our relationship, he got a new job. He manages a store, with a lot of employees. He works closely with a lot of females, all of which of course idolize him as he's the boss. One ...
A. 22 January 2013: I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong to give vodka for a Christmas gift. Lots of people in companies will mostly only give a gift to the boss, and maybe a few smaller gifts to close coworkers. I mean, with her working in a store, she ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble sleeping and need some advice!
Q. I need serious help falling asleep. I have gotten into a really really bad pattern and it is destroying me. I'm a very deep sleeper and once I'm asleep I can be gone for a good 8 hours but recently I just can't get there. I used to go to be...
A. 18 January 2013: Everyone's advice is very good, so I don't want to repeat what they have already said. What I'm adding is simply on top of what's been mentioned already. So when you are in bed and trying to sleep but you can't, I know how it feels. Thoughts start ... (read in full...)
Is my new Bf asking too much? He's upset because I don't want to sell my old wedding ring.
Q. I am currently going through a divorce. My ex and I have been separated for a year and a half. I started dating my boyfriend 6 months after my separation started. I have recently fallen on hard financial times and lost my job. My current boyf...
A. 18 January 2013: I think the main issue here is that you have been borrowing money from your bf and he is helping you out financially. Are you starting to get back on your feet yet? Is there a plan to pay him back soon? Because he may not be thrilled to be lending ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my internship because I'm so tired all the time!
Q. This is not really a relationship question, but about job performance (or lack thereof, in my case.) Since most of you have jobs or had one, I would really appreciate your advice on this. Right now I'm finishing up my studies at uni through an i...
A. 17 January 2013: I know you've said that you can't afford to move closer, but is it possible to rent a small room just so you can crash there during the week while you are working at your internship? I mean, with the 5-6 hour drive every day, you must be spending a ... (read in full...)
I feel like making random strangers happy is more important to him than prioritizing our own relationship
Q. I feel funny about a situation that came up with my boyfriend last night but I am not sure how to handle it. Last night my boyfriend (of 3 months) was texting a friend and when i walked near him, he quickly moved the phone so I couldn't read it...
A. 14 January 2013: Yup, when I met my now husband, he was a flirt. He had many female friends and would tell them exaggerated things to make them feel good, calling them sexy goddess and hot stuff, etc, even if they were not. I explained that 1) that is unnecessary to ... (read in full...)
Is there ever a good reason or explanation for cheating?
Q. I learned my lesbian gf was cheating on me by talking with other women. One in particular I caught her talking with twice. After the first time getting caught she promised she was sorry and she wouldn't do anything like that to hurt me again. She ...
A. 14 January 2013: Nope, there is no good reason for cheating ever. It doesn't matter if the other person cheated first, or the relationship is on the rocks, or you were lonely, angry, jealous, unhappy, bored, etc. Cheating is cheating in any form and for any reason, ... (read in full...)
Am I too traditional? If a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend?
Q. Hello all, I was wondering if a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend? Personally I wouldn't go out with an attached guy one on one even if we're just friends because I find it weird, and maybe a little disr...
A. 14 January 2013: I would not be okay with it if there were more than platonic feelings at any time in the past or present. Also, it depends on whether the one-on-one hang out occurs occasionally or it's an all the time kind of thing. If my husband were busy one ... (read in full...)
Is a brazilian wax worth the pain?
Q. So i'm really nervous now, I've booked myself in for a full Brazilian wax in a few days. But my friends have made me really nervous saying the pain is terrible!! I have a bad pain threshold, but I think of it as deal with the pain for something that ...
A. 11 January 2013: I thought that the brazilian wax would be so painful, but found that it wasn't really much worse than getting eyebrows done. I mean, it still wasn't pleasant, but they go in small areas and rip the wax strip quickly, so it's like a short bit of ... (read in full...)
She lost interest in me because I let her pay for her part of the meal on our first date!
Q. I had a situation with a woman I really liked, and need you opinion on this. I 've met this girl in a building that I work at. She works for a different company, and I saw her several times at lunch before we started talking. We just talked for ...
A. 8 January 2013: I think it's too bad that the serial daters and gold diggers out there spoil it for the rest of the decent women who want to be treated on their first dates and are planning on making it equal. I have never serially dated anyone and all the guys I ... (read in full...)
Do you think moving in together without an engagement is a good idea?
Q. I wanted to get your take on being engaged before moving in together. I've been with my significant other (SO) for almost 4 years. I am 24, just finishing up my last year of University. He is 28, finished college two years ago and is still str...
A. 9 December 2012: Living together engaged vs non-engaged is a very personal choice. I personally think that it's advantageous to live together first. Enough engagements are broken as it is. You say you don't want to trap him into a proposal, but as it stands now, you ... (read in full...)
Do I let my home wrecking daughter and her man stay with me so I can see my grandchildren?
Q. dear aunts and uncles, i seem to be in a pickle here. heres whats going on my daughter started work with me last aug. in nov. she hooked up with a man i have known for a few years who also worked there. now when i say known i mean we have worked t...
A. 4 December 2012: No way should you let them live with you. It is not right that you should now be having to take care of your grown daughter and her boyfriend that is what, only 10 years younger than you? You're reaching a point where it should be your daughter who ... (read in full...)
I know people do move on, but everyone?
Q. I am feeling pretty down right now and would love some advice from other people on what to do because I seem to be losing my friends and boyfriend all at once. I am 27 and I have 2 best friends and a boyfriend of 3 years. I have had other close ...
A. 26 November 2012: It's not that your friends don't care about you and forgot about you, it's that at this point in your lives, they have many other things to do. They have family commitments, relationships, household chores, work, etc. etc. It isn't as easy to keep ... (read in full...)
Not for revenge but for my own pleasure I'm thinking of cheating, nothing serious just a one night thing. Opinions please!
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5 years up until recently we were engaged, have 2 children and were trying for a 3rd. During this time he has cheated on me twice that I know of. The first was for the first 12 months we were together...
A. 21 November 2012: Okay I've read everyone's comments and your updates, and only have a couple of things to add. It comes down to at the end of the day, what kind of person do you want to be? Right now you see yourself as a doormat, someone that got used and cheated ... (read in full...)
How much do you normally spend on Christmas gifts for in laws and parents?
Q. I have a question regarding Christmas gift giving. How much do you typically spend on parents and in laws for Christmas? I can only really use my own family and my husbands family as examples and we do things pretty differently so I'm curious what ...
A. 13 November 2012: It depends on how our finances are doing and whether I see something that I think that my family would enjoy. For example, I've given a sweater or a dvd box set of about 50 for my dad for christmas before. I've also got my mom a 150-200 Keurig as ... (read in full...)
My fiance said her ex was a better lover.
Q. Hello everyone, sorry for the long post,this is the first time asking a question, although I have been reading many posts here trying to come to terms with something that happened to me recently. I have just recently come back from Europe where I a...
A. 31 October 2012: My ex has a larger penis than my husband. I do vaguely remember that sex was better - that feeling of being fulled so completely. But it was a long time ago, and the memory has already faded. But no way would I ever trade or risk my relationship ... (read in full...)
Will a time ever come where I can accept what happened and move on with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi all, Ever since I aborted my unplanned pregnancy, I have felt such a great deal of guilt and sadness. I know this is to be expected but the feeling of resent and anger is becoming too much to handle. My boyfriend hurt me so much during...
A. 29 October 2012: I had an abortion a couple of years ago. My boyfriend and I had been going out for about 1 year and weren't really in the best place to have a baby. I knew that, but part of me still wanted to keep it. I knew my boyfriend didn't agree. He wanted to ... (read in full...)
| *irra07's friends
These are mutual friends, so *irra07 has
added them and they have added *irra07!
|
