| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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Do men become immune to small fights?
Q. **Sorry to re-post my question but I didn't receive any answers :(** Is it normal for men to become 'immune' to small fights and arguments? My fiance just doesn't seem to care about talking things out, but would rather sweep it under the rug and ...
A. 6 April 2011: That sounds like my life, and I've started viewing it as sort of normal. Because what I've noticed is that guys are often more easygoing and although they might get mad, they cool off more easily and don't think about it anymore. On the other hand, ... (read in full...)
How do I repay him for all he's done for me?
Q. hey, right now i am sick. i have the flu and i've never been this sick before in my life. my bf is being soo sweet, like he's here everyday checking on me, and bringing me my school assignments. he makes me feel like a princess even when i ...
A. 6 April 2011: If you want to make him happy and do nice things for him, then you can. Just keep trying. He will be able to see if you are making an effort, and appreciate it. After you feel better, think of things that you could do that he might like. Maybe plan ... (read in full...)
My family want me to work, boyfriend doesn't and I'm torn
Q. I have an opportunity to work full time over the summer and I'm stumbling upon some problems: its really my parents that want me to work, even though I go to school full time and work part time. I have money saved up so I won't bother them during ...
A. 5 April 2011: That's great to hear! It's really the best choice for you, and hopefully your bf will understand that. How to tell him though? Don't tell him over text, msn, email, phone, etc. Make sure to tell him in person. Just tell him in a logical way. Poi... (read in full...)
Elopement right for me?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have been datikng for 11 months we worked with each other for a year. We both got out of bad 4 year relationships and our first night together (although it was the most amazing night of my life) we agreed to not be in a ...
A. 5 April 2011: I don't think it's a good idea. It would be ideal if his father and your grandfather could see your wedding and your children, etc etc, but sometimes that just doesn't work out. It doesn't mean that you should fast forward your lives to let them ... (read in full...)
I don't want to drive a wedge between these 2 best friends, but one wants me to continue our FWB, and I want to date the other!
Q. dear cupid, back in december, i met this guy (we'll call him steve) who i ended up becoming friends with benefits with from around the middle of january to the middle of march. we would hang out pretty much every chance we got, things would get...
A. 5 April 2011: At this point, I don't think you should tell Mike. I think you should tell Steve to stop making passes: tell him to remember that HE set the 2 of you up, that you are interested in dating his BEST FRIEND, that you think his best friend is interested ... (read in full...)
Ladies what kind of home would you want your man to have?
Q. So in changing myself to frankly become more confident and attractive I am also trying to change my home. I own a 2 bedroom townhouse 2 story condo with a finished basement and a fully enclosed 14 X 16 foot patio. I have worked hard to refurbish it. ...
A. 4 April 2011: I think mostly clean and organized is all that I'd be looking for. What you've described sounds great. Everyone is looking for something different, so I don't think you can really change your home to be more attractive to women. As long as she ... (read in full...)
My family want me to work, boyfriend doesn't and I'm torn
Q. I have an opportunity to work full time over the summer and I'm stumbling upon some problems: its really my parents that want me to work, even though I go to school full time and work part time. I have money saved up so I won't bother them during ...
A. 4 April 2011: Really, it's unrealistic of him to think that you can just not work and hang out with him all summer. You're going to school and that costs a lot of money. Plus, it's a great chance for you to save up some money for your future - if you want to live ... (read in full...)
Wedding date dilemma......
Q. I have been invited to the wedding of a friend and I need some advice about taking a date. I am single and would generally not have a problem going alone but in this situation I would rather not. The main reason is that it is just out of the ...
A. 4 April 2011: If your invite does not say +guest, I would most likely assume that you don't have an extra invite. You can check with the bride, but most people specify whether there is a guest. Because they need to know how many people to expect, because that's a ... (read in full...)
I know it's in his nature to be reserved, especially when we have had a row, but it is driving me mad!
Q. HELP! Can someone tell me if I’m getting foolish? ( I have this guy and we’re dating for 1 year and 3mos. Were always in dispute since then. But I could say that we both really love each other. And now we’re having a cold war… again. *sigh* I ...
A. 2 April 2011: What do you mean his answers are always like :( or sorry? Are you talking about having these conversations by text or online? Because if you are, that's a big mistake. If you aren't having the talks in person, you have no idea what he's doing. He ... (read in full...)
I know it's in his nature to be reserved, especially when we have had a row, but it is driving me mad!
Q. HELP! Can someone tell me if I’m getting foolish? ( I have this guy and we’re dating for 1 year and 3mos. Were always in dispute since then. But I could say that we both really love each other. And now we’re having a cold war… again. *sigh* I ...
A. 31 March 2011: To be honest, yes you are sort of being foolish. And I can say that because I've been there and done the break up but don't really mean it thing. It gets old really fast. You say you're getting hurt, but your own actions are hurtful to the o... (read in full...)
Why do some women get themselves pregnant on purpose?
Q. One of my ex co workers got herself pregnant on purpose. She even told everyone about it. She had a short fling with someone and knew that he didn't want any children. They weren't even in a exclusive relationship. But she lied about what ...
A. 29 March 2011: What I have a problem with is the fact that the man seems to have to have more of the responsibility in terms of pregnancy. Yes, the guy should sometimes remind the girl to take her pill, especially if the girl tends to forget. I always take my pill ... (read in full...)
Why do some women get themselves pregnant on purpose?
Q. One of my ex co workers got herself pregnant on purpose. She even told everyone about it. She had a short fling with someone and knew that he didn't want any children. They weren't even in a exclusive relationship. But she lied about what ...
A. 28 March 2011: It's because some people are selfish and don't care about the consequences to others. And it's because ultimately, women have the power when it comes to kids. Women usually get the custody, they get the child support, they make the decision abo... (read in full...)
Can someone love and yet lie to the person that they love?
Q. He cheated while we were dating, and I only found out about it after we got married. Thus, I didn't know he had been unfaithful when he proposed, during the engagment, or during the wedding. He cheated once, and was in touch with the person he ...
A. 24 March 2011: The possible reasons he could have for lying to you: - wanting to keep you in the dark so he could continue cheating (which is not likely as you say he has been faithful since) - wanting to keep his reputation in case others found out he cheated, ... (read in full...)
Was I out of line for telling ex I don't want to see her again?
Q. So my girlfriend/now ex-girlfriend broke up with me and started hanging out with a new guy friend of hers that had in the last few weeks made me jealous. I'm not going to make the assumption that they're already having sex but cuddling is a definite ...
A. 23 March 2011: Not at all. When relationships end, friendships don't necessarily have to happen. Actually, most people don't really stay friends or stay much in touch with their exes. You just saved both of you a lot of awkwardness in trying to be friends - like ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my new girlfriend to lick and finger my ass?
Q. About a year ago, for the first time i got a prostitute. She said she would do anything. I always wanted a girl to lick my ass, so i asked and she did. Since then i have stimulated my ass as much as possible, by stroking around it and even putting ...
A. 22 March 2011: How long have you 2 been together? Better give it some time for you to bond and get comfortable with each other before surprising her with this. Also, it would probably be better if you eased into it with other explorations first. For example, ... (read in full...)
I'd like to cook my b/f something nice. Any suggestions?
Q. hello everyone in 2 weeks time my boyfriends parents are going away for the week, were together 1 and a half years now and i've never really cooked anything special for him, well while his parents are away i want to cook him something really nice. h...
A. 22 March 2011: If you've never really cooked for him before, he will be pleased at anything you cook for him. Guys (and girls too) are impressed just at the thought of it.
As for what to cook, can't really give you any ideas, because it
a) depends on what ... (read in full...)
If I was straight why would I be having these worries?
Q. this is probably going to be rambly but ive been worrying so much i just need to get it of my chest. ok so i guess the main theme of this is my sexuality. ive never had a crush on a girl before, never felt like ive been hiding my true feelings ...
A. 22 March 2011: It sounds like you might be bisexual, or at least bicurious. You sound like you are attracted to guys, but girls too. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just that you appreciate attractiveness in all forms.
And simply because you are attracte... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me return or exchange a foster child, but I would like to adopt
Q. I fostered a three year todler, with a view to adopt, against my boyfriend's will last year. We are now engaged to be married in next few months. he is still not for the idea of the boy being around. He is an active boy, and like any other child can ...
A. 21 March 2011: I agree with what Dirtball said. And I also find this situation very odd.
How long have you been together with your bf before you decided to foster a child? Were you living together? Were you discussing marriage and a future together at this poi... (read in full...)
I trust him but I don't trust his ex, and from his text messages it seems he met up with her at 3am last night! I cant talk to him about this so what should I do?
Q. Hi, i need some serious advice.i'm not the kind of person who would normally do this as whenever i have a conflict, i believe i am mature enough to handle it myself. but this is something that is really messing me up.me and my boyfriend have almost ...
A. 21 March 2011: Are you really sure that you can trust him at this point? It doesn't matter how psychotic and desperate his ex gf is, if he is open and honest with you and knows where to draw the line with her. But I'm not sure if he is. You looked at his phone at ... (read in full...)
I want to be supportive and help boyfriend out but I'm starting to feel used
Q. I need to get some perspective on whether I am being unfair to my bf, please. We've been together 6 months now, and things are going great. He's told me he loves me, and I feel like I am falling for him. He's also told me I'm his 'rock'...but I'm ...
A. 17 March 2011: To me, this doesn't look good. He should be able to be responsible for the own things in his life. As in, he should be able to take care of his own work, and household chores. You have only been dating for 6 months, you don't live together, you are ... (read in full...)
My break up has hit me very hard and I'm a complete mess...
Q. Hi its been just over 2 months now since my boyfriend broke up with me and am still a complete and utter mess i dont know how to go on without him i still dont fully understand his reasons he made out he wanted be single but am sure hes with someone ...
A. 13 March 2011: I'm so sorry. Having gone through painful breakups before, I know how painful it can be, and how hard it can be to move on, even when you want to. I can only give you some advice that might make things a little easier and maybe move you forward a ... (read in full...)
The man whom I had a baby with was never a part of our lives; now we're both married to other people and he suddenly wants to see his daughter after years of no communication
Q. This is pretty long but please bear with me as I feel you need to know all the details. Six and a half years ago, I started a relationship with a pathetic excuse for a man; we were both 17. Four months in, I found out I was pregnant. He wanted ...
A. 6 March 2011: I think the important thing is what your daughter wants to do. I also think it can be important to try and foster a good relationship with her blood dad, because she may feel bitter later on that he never cared or bothered enough to spend time with ... (read in full...)
Should I live with my friend even though having his gf there will make me so jealous and upset?
Q. Sorry... this is a long story. I’ve known a guy since I was 7 years old. Let’s call him John. He lived near my grandparents so I would see him at around Christmas time every year. My whole life I’ve had feelings for him. When we were a bit older...
A. 19 February 2011: Definitely finish your degree. But I would recommend not living with him. Even without the girlfriend, living with someone you're friends with can destroy friendships. If you don't realize beforehand and discuss how to manage things, things like ... (read in full...)
He verbally abuses me, but we have a son together. Should I stay with him?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend is 6yrs older then me we have a son together. we currently dont live together but we are in the process of buying a house and we plan on getting married. Yesterdayw we got into it, he called me mutiple names and told me i was a ...
A. 16 February 2011: From this information, I really can't give any advice in either direction.
What sorts of names did he call you? In what way did he call you these names (as in was he simply saying: "you can be a b*tch sometimes, or was he threateningly ranting ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to need time to get used to my boyfriend after being apart for so long?
Q. I am in a LDR for over 2 years, we see each other every 4 months and when we are apart, we are constantly on Skype (we probably talk an avarage of 4 hours a day on week days and probably the double of that on weekends). We miss each other like crazy ...
A. 16 February 2011: I have no idea if it's 'normal' or not, but if it makes you feel better, I feel the same way. When my boyfriend goes away for a bit, we talk on the phone or skype and it seems normal, but when he gets back, I feel a little weird. A little unsure ... (read in full...)
I caught my husband and my best friend talking behind my back for the third time! How can I stop it?
Q. My husband had a secret relationship with my now ex-bestfriend. She's been in my life since elementary school and I've been with him since high school. They both said that there was no intimacy....but they both had feelings for eachother. They just ...
A. 16 February 2011: My thoughts are that with friends and relationships like these, who needs enemies? Your best friend is supposed to have your back. She's supposed to listen to your relationship problems and support you and help you trash talk your husband when ... (read in full...)
What do women think about body hair on men?
Q. Just wondering what ladies, in general, think about body hair on a guy...?...
A. 16 February 2011: If I'm at the beach and I have the choice to stare at a smooth tanned chest as opposed to an intensely fuzzy one, I'll choose the smooth one. But once I get to know someone, I'm perfectly happy with the hair. My fiance has a fuzzy chest, tummy, and ... (read in full...)
Why do people think teenage romances can never grow?
Q. I just want to understand. Why do some people think teenage relationships can never grow till the two in love are old? I know that some teenagers are just dating, going through drama, but you're doing a childish thing setting a stereo-type on a...
A. 15 February 2011: If you're getting the impression that adults stereotype teenagers from the dearcupid posts, you're probably partly right. We remember being that young before and thinking that if 2 people love each other enough, that should be enough to be together ... (read in full...)
Nude pics of ex found again after lying about removing them
Q. My current bf has nude pics of his ex. I have stumbled across them before on his computer when trying to find photos I uploaded. I had confronted him on this before because well it made me feel crummy and it seemed as thou he was living in the pa...
A. 15 February 2011: People have all sorts of stuff from their past in their lives. Computers are filled with old junk. People have boxes and closets that are cluttered with stuff that isn't looked at since moving day. If your bf is understanding of your feelings and ... (read in full...)
Will my ex come back to me?
Q. Hi everyone, I would really appreciate any answers and advice... My boyfriend broke up with me about 10 days ago. We were together for over 5 years. We are both 22 and had all of our firsts together. The reasons he broke up with me were that he ...
A. 10 February 2011: People rarely ever get back together with their exes in the future. Especially if the reason they broke up was to experience life and new relationships and experiences. Because while you do that, you change and grow and part of that means growing ... (read in full...)
I've snapped. I can't stop obsessing with the girl I devoured.
Q. Can someone tell me what I need to do to become a monk. I can't cope. I want to stop watching another man love the girl who's heart I ripped out then taunted. I'll never find another girl like her. I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out ways ...
A. 10 February 2011: How long ago did you break up? Have you been trying to occupy your mind with other things? Work? School? Friends? etc? And how long was this relationship? It does sound like you could benefit from some more help - counsellor, psychiatrist. It sounds ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I can wait any longer...
Q. Just would like to get a male's perspective on this... though women feel free to share the advice =) I have been with my guy going on 5 years. Its a definite pull push kinda thing. He gets close... he pulls WAAAy back then I kinda start moving on ...
A. 8 February 2011: What this sounds like to me is a lack of respect for you, the relationship, and your feelings. He's being selfish and playing with your feelings because he's confused about what he wants. So he goes from wanting you, to not wanting you, but at the ... (read in full...)
Will our different religious beliefs clash too much? And would he compromise his beliefs about sex?
Q. Hello there, agony aunts. (: I have had a relatively close male friend who I have known for several years. We went to high school together and have always gotten on great. Almost the whole time I knew him, I had been with my ex boyfriend (who I...
A. 8 February 2011: No, there is not much point in trying to date. Religion is a core belief that forms who people are. If he is a dedicated Christian and you are non-religious, your values are hugely different and you will never really understand each other. And if he ... (read in full...)
Had lots of unprotected sex and never got pregnant....does this mean I wont be able to have kids in the future?
Q. There's this guy that I have sex with a lot. He cums inside me all the time...but I have never gotten pregnant once. I'm 13 years old (I know I'm wayyyy too young for sex) but I mean...why cant I get pregnant? I don't want to at all but I mean can I ...
A. 8 February 2011: Have you started having your period yet? If you haven't, you can't get pregnant. And even if you have, at your age, your ovulation cycle is most likely not regular or mature yet. Also, many things affect your ability to get pregnant: your age, ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out what her intentions are! Should I pursue her, and go all out for her on Valentine's Day?
Q. My ex and I broke up recently. We had a great relationship of two years that started off as friends. We broke up because we are both growing into different people, but I want to fight through that because I believe that's what love is..fighting ...
A. 8 February 2011: No, you shouldn't go all out for her on Valentine's Day. It would be a very sweet gesture, and would probably make most girls melt, including her, but that doesn't mean it will lead to a good relationship.
After breaking up for a reason, if you w... (read in full...)
Pregnant, financially unstable, and the father wants nothing to do with the baby. Looking for guidance!
Q. Hi All. Sorry this is long, but I need you to know the whole story. Im 20 years old, single and currently in college, but looking for a full time job instead as college is no longer stimulating/interesting me. I was seeing and messing around w...
A. 6 February 2011: Don't listen to your sisters: it sounds like they think you should keep it to punish him. If you want to keep it, it has to be personal choice based on your want to have/keep the baby.
Really, at your age and financial situation, the basic th... (read in full...)
Its so hard to break up with someone when you don't have the power to stay away!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 and a half years. We always planned to move in together this year but things just never seemed to favour that plan, so as it is we see each other once or twice a week. The first year was pretty good,...
A. 6 February 2011: Generally having a rebound guy is a bad idea. Especially since as you both hit it off and get along, you might want it to be more than a rebound and develop into a real relationship. In that case, it's best to give it some time for you to be alone ... (read in full...)
Its so hard to break up with someone when you don't have the power to stay away!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 and a half years. We always planned to move in together this year but things just never seemed to favour that plan, so as it is we see each other once or twice a week. The first year was pretty good,...
A. 4 February 2011: If you don't have the strength to stay away from them, enlist the help of your friends. For at least a month, don't go to gatherings or out with friends where you will bump into him. If you want to hang out with your friends, make sure it's ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I fit in this relationship anymore?
Q. This is long, so thanks if you read all of this. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half now and we love each other. I am 17 and she is 18. For the first year of our relationship, everything went great. We were two pees in a pod and cou...
A. 4 February 2011: You sound like you have made your decision and know what you want already. You are young, and it's perfectly natural to want to date others, especially when your current relationship isn't making you happy. It seems to me that you're afraid to break ... (read in full...)
I asked a man I have been seeing if he was seeing anyone else, and his response confused me!
Q. I asked a guy who I have been seeing if he is seeing anyone else and he says this: "You have been monopolizing all my free time...much to the chagrin of anyone else..lol" What does he mean??...
A. 4 February 2011: He either means:
A) He has been seeing other people and is trying to evade the question by making it seem like he didn't have time to.
B) He has the potential to be seeing others, but would rather be spending his time with you, and is trying to... (read in full...)
I don't want to continue sleeping with him if he's not that into me!
Q. I have been dating someone for 7 weeks, we are both 27 and have been sleeping together for 4 weeks. (it was a bit soon i know) We both work 10 hour days, 5 days per week. My question is, he seems too casual and i wonder if its a case of "he's just ...
A. 4 February 2011: I think you need to relax and enjoy the ride. What makes you think he's not that into you? Or that this isn't going anywhere?
Because what I see is:
- he's already called you his girlfriend
- he sees you regularly (2 nights a week and then th... (read in full...)
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