| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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I don't want to continue sleeping with him if he's not that into me!
Q. I have been dating someone for 7 weeks, we are both 27 and have been sleeping together for 4 weeks. (it was a bit soon i know) We both work 10 hour days, 5 days per week. My question is, he seems too casual and i wonder if its a case of "he's just ...
A. 4 February 2011: I think you need to relax and enjoy the ride. What makes you think he's not that into you? Or that this isn't going anywhere?
Because what I see is:
- he's already called you his girlfriend
- he sees you regularly (2 nights a week and then th... (read in full...)
Dating a guy with the same name as my ex is leading to trouble
Q. I broke up with my ex of 1 and a half years in July 2010 and though we have talked a few times since then, in general I have moved on and started dating again. The problem is that the guy that I am dating (we have been seeing each other for a...
A. 4 February 2011: If you keep associating that name with your ex and not calling your current bf by that name, nothing will change. As time goes on, the ties to your ex and his name should fade away, and if you call your bf by his name, when you think of the name, ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being a crazy girlfriend?
Q. Ok there's a million things leading up to this, but here's what happened today: Tomorrow is the 6 anniversary of someone very close to me dying. This morning I texted my boyfriend to talk to him about it. I was feeling positive about it, and w...
A. 4 February 2011: Grief at anniversaries of deaths is very normal. So I think your bf was being insensitive in how he acted.
On the other hand, being negative and sad a lot of the time, is not necessarily normal or a good thing. Neither is wanting to kill yourself... (read in full...)
Need tips, advice, etc. from those experienced with threesomes. Planning one soon with my girlfriend and her former sex partner.
Q. Ok let me try this again. My other questions wasn't worded like it should have been. I'm having a threesome with my girlfriend and have given her approval to have a former friend/lover (not as in love, but as in having had sex with him before ...
A. 1 February 2011: Having been in this situation several times before, I have some tips and advice for you. First of all, generally I would advise against having the 3some with a past lover, but the 2 of you seem to have discussed this. Remember, even if the idea... (read in full...)
At 26, I have a fear of losing my virginity!
Q. i have been unable to get aroused, as im very scared of losing my virginity because of the pain. yes i love my partner and am absoloutely ready. just need suggestions on how to overcome the fear. im getting old....
A. 30 January 2011: For overcoming your fear, first, as others have said, be comfortable with your partner. Tell him that you are scared, and talk about how you can make this as painless and not scary as possible. Plan to start slow, with fingering until you are ... (read in full...)
The maturity gap between us is beginning to show more and more
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months now, this is a long distance relationship where we get to see each other every few months, for a period of a week of so. We are both moving to the same city here in june, and hopefully see each ...
A. 28 January 2011: I wouldn't necessarily say that it's entirely a maturity thing. I think it's more of a difference in values/opinions. You are better able to focus on someone else (particularly someone you care about), and want to show respect and caring by ... (read in full...)
Spending valentines day apart
Q. I am 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 4months now. He's my first boyfriend and I really love him,as you can figure out this is my first valentines day. The problem is it's a long distance relationship due to college and work ...
A. 27 January 2011: You could talk to him about maybe having an early or a late Valentine's Day celebration, when he is able to come up and spend more time with you, say on a weekend. It doesn't make sense for him to come all that way and spend that money to come over ... (read in full...)
Why would she say her baby daddy is 'irreplaceable' if she supposedly doesn't have any feelings for him?
Q. so, I was talking to my girlfriend last night. and we were talking about her friendship with her baby daddy. and she told me, that i was replacable and he was irreplacable. after she tells me she hates him. i can understand keeping a friendsh...
A. 26 January 2011: It could be that she's saying he is irreplaceable since he is her baby's dad. There will always be a tie between them because of their child. She can't really lose contact with him because they will always have to be in contact for him/her. So in ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my married boyfriend's baby?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for almost 4 years he has been married 6 yrs. I know I will be judged and for the most part for what I have read on this topic, answers seem to be one sided. Always blaming the mistress. It takes two selfish,cheaters ...
A. 26 January 2011: It's not love to "reward" your secret girlfriend with cheap motel trysts if she has an abortion. And it's not love to threaten said girlfriend with never seeing her again if she chooses to keep the baby. Choosing to keep or abort a baby is a toug... (read in full...)
Maybe he could be mine on Valentine's Day?
Q. Here is the thing, i love a guy who is studying with me but he has a girlfriend, but i feel like he cares too much for me and i don't know where this is going! any help? or advice? or whatever? i am really desperate with valentine coming up and i...
A. 26 January 2011: Whatever you do, do not pursue him while he is with someone else. If you do, first you will get a reputation as a relationship wrecker. Also, he will either lose respect for you, or he will cheat/and or leave his gf for you and you will be with a ... (read in full...)
All of my boyfriend passwords are his ex's name!
Q. One day my boyfriend was looking through/deleting old emails while I was sitting next to him and he opened an email with his facebook password in it. I saw that his password was his first love's name. I asked him about it and he said it was nothing. ...
A. 24 January 2011: Don't worry too much about it. I had the same problem with my now fiance. He had some of his passwords as his old crushes' name. But this was a crush from a long time ago (probably 10 years ago). What happened was that when it came time to make a ... (read in full...)
Do guys like flowers?
Q. I'm thinking of sending my boyfriend flowers for valentines day because he's at the United States Air Force Academy and I'm stuck in Vermont. Would he like that? Do guys like that? why or why not?...
A. 23 January 2011: I'd say most guys don't like getting flowers as 1) it's kind of embarrassing since flowers are mostly for girls and 2) flowers aren't really practical or useful (he probably doesn't even have access to a vase to even keep the flowers fresh.
I am ... (read in full...)
Health tips for early pregnancy?
Q. Hi all! This is actually a question about pregnancy, i was hoping some mums could give me some advice :) I just found out im pregnant, i think between 1-3 weeks.. Last time i feel pregnant i miscarried. My hubby and i got married not too long after ...
A. 21 January 2011: Well, you already seem like you're doing a lot of the right things: no drinking, no smoking, and taking a supplement. Other than that, try to eat a balanced diet. Not necessarily any specific foods you should avoid (your body will you if you should ... (read in full...)
What does a woman feel when she rejects a guy?
Q. What does a woman feel when she rejects? Contempt for the guy who tries? A sense of guilt? Pity? Or maybe she has very little thought of why? Or maybe she feels superior? Does she ever think that she may hurt the man? Does she ever think abo...
A. 21 January 2011: It depends on what the circumstances are that lead to the rejecting.
If the guy was an acquaintance or friend, then awkwardness, guilt, discomfort, hoping we don't hurt them too much.
If the guy was a stranger that was nice, flattered and ma... (read in full...)
Is it to wrong to have cybersex with other guys when I have a boyfriend?
Q. hi, I'm 18 now,I don'nt know if this is right... I often talk abotu sex with guys in internet chats and often have "cybersex" too even with webcam and I really like that I do it since I was 15(i dont know those guys actually they are far away in ...
A. 21 January 2011: It is cheating unless the both of you talk about it and decide it isn't cheating. Pretty much anything that you feel the need to hide from your significant other can and probably will come back to make a mess of things.
And cyber sex and webcammi... (read in full...)
Not sure if I should settle or not! Help please!
Q. Hello All!! I have been divorced for a long time (after writing this, it is becoming more clear why), since the mid 90's and have had two other serious relationships along with a few years of trying to work it out with the ex-wife and then few...
A. 20 January 2011: No matter who you are and who you are with, if you settle down you will be settling. You will be settling because you will never ever know if there is someone else out there better or more matched to you. You don't have the time to meet every single ... (read in full...)
What's it like moving on from your first love?
Q. Has anyone got any experiences to share about getting over their first love/first relationship? My ex-boyfriend broke up with me in May last year. In some ways I feel that I've moved on, but recently I felt as if I still love him and will for a long ...
A. 20 January 2011: I would say that over time you start to feel less of the hurt, and more like the relationship was an experience that you had and learned from. You look back with more fondness, sometimes with a little regret.
Moving on into other relation... (read in full...)
How do men feel about having sex on a woman's period?
Q. How do men feel about having sex while she's on her period? I know many may like to claim they don't care or say things like, "put a towel down and go to town," but sometimes I can help but wonder if it the bleeding doesn't gross them out. ...
A. 16 January 2011: The men that I've been with will still do it sometimes, but don't find it the most appealing. It's not a turn on, sometimes a turn off, but it's not that bad for some guys.
As for how to broach the subject, you can still spend time together... (read in full...)
How can I bring myself to trust him after everything he's done?
Q. Hi, ive been with my boyfriend nearly 2years now and i don't trust him at all, please read all of this, i need advise on alot of things. Lets start from the beginning, he was engaged to a girl who cheated on him more than once and 6months after they ...
A. 16 January 2011: Do not even think about a future of getting married and children with this guy before all of this gets sorted out. I know it's sweet when the man you love seems to want a future with you, and is talking about serious commitment, but his behaviour to ... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any ideas for a fun first date thats disabled-friendly?
Q. I have been talking to this girl on a dating site for a month now, and now we both want to meet. However, I have got Cerebral Palsy which means I am a bit wobbly at times. Has anyone got any ideas for a fun first date thats disabled-friendl...
A. 4 January 2011: This might be a bit much for a first date, but I liked a date I went on where the guy took me to a decorate your own pottery shop. We spent a few hours goofing around and decorating and later on, we picked up the pieces and it's a little souvenir of ... (read in full...)
Feeling sad, friend just got engaged yet I know I won't be for another 3 years!
Q. My friend just got engaged after being with her bf for 2 year. I have been with mine for 2 and I know it'll be at LEAST another 3 before my bf ever even considers it [due to training for his job]. I feel a bit saddened. I know I shouldnt compare ...
A. 31 December 2010: When I think of other relationships that are going well or things other guys do that are amazing for their girlfriends, I get a bit sad or jealous too, but then I try to think of the special things my boyfriend does for me. Did your boyfriend do ... (read in full...)
Sparks and excitement but unreliable guy VS boring but stable and committed guy.
Q. If you had a choice, what would you pick? A relationship where you feel a lot of sparks, there is a lot of physical attraction, and there is a lot of passion and excitement. BUT where the partner is unreliable and has so much baggage that you...
A. 24 December 2010: Neither. Either of these relationships sound like they would end badly/be horrible to be in.
But between the 2 of them, I would lean more towards the boring reliable guy.
I've dated 2 people that are somewhat similar to those descriptions. Th... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about getting raped and being pregnant and he wants me to help raise the baby!!!!
Q. Okay, I'm 14. My boyfriend (who's 13) and I are really close, so we tell each other everything. One day, I saw him talking to his friend, who I SWEAR was hitting on him (she was touching him and everything)!! So I (obviously) got upset... I didn't ...
A. 24 December 2010: Of all the lies you should not tell, the one about getting raped is at the top of the list. Rape is a serious crime, and not something to be used as a lie. Please tell your boyfriend the truth, you can't fake a pregnancy and this could have serious ... (read in full...)
I can't help but blame myself for our breakup
Q. My LDR boyfriend recently broke up with me and I have not contacted him and have absolutely no intention of, unless he wants to. It's nearly Christmas and New Year next week and there could be a possibility of being tempted to wish him a happy ...
A. 24 December 2010: Being friends with exes is possible, but hard. And generally it's easier to start it out by keeping some distance to begin with. Because if you start texting when you're still thinking about them, you might get caught up in waiting for the next text ... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend has just logged off chat and went off to be alone in her room with a guy she has kissed before!!!
Q. what does it mean when your long distance girlfriend goes offline on msn so she can watch a movie with her male bestfriend that she kissed before?!!! I was just talking to my ldr gf and she left me for her best male friend to watch a movie in...
A. 23 December 2010: You're in a long distance relationship, which means the only time you get to do anything is when you talk online or on the phone. And after awhile, that gets pretty boring. There's only so many things you can talk about, when you aren't physically ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mum about my BF when I know she cant stand the thought of "us" being together?
Q. I have a problem that really bugging me. I have a wonderful boyfriend and we love each other and would obviously like to get married in the future. The problem is that my parents cant stand the thought of me being with him. My mom thinks he's not ...
A. 23 December 2010: I suggest just telling her now, and being firm about it. Your love life is your own, and it's your decision to make. So no matter what she thinks of him, if you choose him, she should be civil and not say bad things about him to you. So just come ... (read in full...)
He's scared to say "I love you", what should I do?
Q. I have been dating a man (we are both in our 40's) for almost a year and a half now. We have a great time together, talk, laugh, awesome sex, great friends, etc. I love him and I've known that for a long time, however, I waited and waited for him to ...
A. 21 December 2010: People are different when it comes to saying "I love you." Some people say it too fast, too soon, or to just about anyone, and others only say it very rarely. It sounds as though he isn't the type to say "I love you" easily, especially after being ... (read in full...)
Help my girlfriend turned into a different person.
Q. I apologize for the length of this but I really need some perspective and advice on how to behave with my girlfriend right now: I met and starting dating a girl a little over two years ago and thought I had found the love of my life. She lived ...
A. 20 December 2010: You can't make her back into the girl you love, no matter how much you might want to. You asked her to prove her love by being that affectionate person again, but 1) she couldn't even consistently do that and 2) if you need to ask her to do it, is ... (read in full...)
Can remaining single have a negative impact on a person?
Q. If a person remains single, does anyone think it can a negative impact on said person mentally? Are there positive consequences to be had? Perhaps a deeper sense of self, or greater self sufficiency? What do you think? I am not talking about jumping ...
A. 19 December 2010: Well, according to psychological studies, single men and divorced men suffer from a lack of social support compared to men in relationships or married men. So psychologically, that would mean greater stress and less ability to cope. And there's the ... (read in full...)
How do I shave without leaving stubble?
Q. How do i shave my pubic area? My boyfriend has recently asked my to completely shave my vagina, but when i did it with a razor, it just turned stubbly so wasn't very attractive. How do i shave without leaving stuble for a more sexy look?...
A. 17 December 2010: If you shave it against the grain (so upwards instead of down), it will shave closer to the skin, and be more smooth, less stubbly. But either way, it grows back fast. And it doesn't feel good, itches/hurts more than shaving with the grain. Othe... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have problems with adult stepchildren and their spouses?
Q. Does anyone else have problems with adult stepchildren and their spouses? I have 3 who are for the most part, polite and courteous to me when in my presence. They do, however, fail to recognize me as a legitimate family member. Its dad's house, ...
A. 15 December 2010: I don't see an easy way to resolve this without your husband's help. They see everything as his, and without his authority, they feel they don't need to respect you. By his not saying anything about how they treat you, he is essentially condoning ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend about leftover problems from my ex?
Q. Is it a bad idea to tell my boyfriend about some leftover problems I have from my ex? My boyfriend knows my ex was jealous but not that he was really controlling, judging and abusive and put me down all the time. I've recently realised that although ...
A. 15 December 2010: 10 months is not a short amount of time. You'd be the only person that knows how close and intimate you and your bf are. If you love each other and he is a supportive boyfriend, he would most likely want to know and help you through it. Plus, if ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a relationship when he still has feelings for his ex?
Q. Lately i,ve been hanging around with one of my guy friends and i think he really likes me. We hold hands the whole time , we hug each other in a way you would only see couples cuddle , we comfort each other bout everything and we both had painful ...
A. 14 December 2010: It is, but wait. Otherwise, he won't have the time to deal with his feelings and get over her. Instead, he will distract himself by using you and his developing feelings for you. Then, later down the road, he'll find himself not over his ex and it ... (read in full...)
What am I involved in with this guy?
Q. Been involved for past 6-8 years with male partner with sex as the only reason for us meeting or communicating. He is more than willing to meet with me anytime at my request. This male is NOT married (confirmed)or in any other type of commited ...
A. 12 December 2010: For it to have lasted this long and sex being the only reason for meeting or even talking, then yeah, I would call it a booty call situation. If you don't do anything outside of have sex together, then I wouldn't even term it friends with benefits. ... (read in full...)
We have sex but he won't kiss me
Q. I have been dating this guy on and off for about 8 mos. now, we are sexually active, but he never kisses me. He knows it is an issue, I have tried to talk to him about a couple of times. It is depressing. He is a really great guy besides that. I ...
A. 12 December 2010: If it wasn't for the fact that you are a smoker, I would have said that he's just using you for sex. But I think it is probably the smoking thing being an issue. I've kissed guys that smoke before, and it's not pleasant. It feels like I'm ... (read in full...)
I swore I'd never marry again but now I want to! How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. This is a bit long, so thank you in advance for reading. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, living together for 6 months. We are both in our early 30s and have known one another for 15 years. I am his first "serious" ...
A. 12 December 2010: Just tell him you've had a change of heart. Maybe pick a time when you're all cuddled up and maybe feeling a little romantic. Tell him that your relationship is wonderful, you love him. And that you know that you used to say that you never wanted to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend ends up kissing her best friend whenever we're on a break!
Q. please i need your opinions , every single one possible , i just do not get what my girlfriend means when she tells me she always had feelings for her best male friend ?.. i know that they kissed and done stuff together but i dont know what to think...
A. 12 December 2010: Real partners that are serious about each other and making it work will not keep breaking up or going on breaks. If there is an argument, that doesn't mean that the 2 of you are temporarily over. Make it clear to her that this is inappropriate ... (read in full...)
What is an appropriate age difference?
Q. I have a question, I get hung up on age, is ten years too much of a difference. Is it wrong if the girl is ten years older like if she is 32 and he is 22?...
A. 11 December 2010: There's no such thing as too much of an age difference as long as the people are compatible and want to be with each other (and it is legal). The problem is that generally other people will judge (which is fine, just another difficulty). Also, a lot ... (read in full...)
What does it feel like when a guy cums inside a woman?
Q. My girlfriend wants to know if it feels if I would come in her. I know the risk and everything but she is just curious. So how does it feel for her? ...
A. 5 December 2010: It feels like a pulsing sensation. I usually don't feel too much of the fluid, but I can feel when my bf's penis kind of pulses when he is cumming. Afterwards, it feels messy when it leaks out. ... (read in full...)
Friend was winding him up, and he bit -- was he going to cheat?
Q. My husband recieved a happy birthday text from my friend and didnt no who it was from he text thanks for birthday wishes but who are you, she took it upon herself to wind him up..i was unaware of this..and said a secret admirer from work..she sent a ...
A. 4 December 2010: I think that's complete crap. If he really was trying to find out who it was so he could confront them, he wouldn't hide it from you and he would have come clean and told you directly about it. Then you could have been involved when he did try to ... (read in full...)
I hope he works on his lying so we can get back together.
Q. Hello, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. The reason we broke up was because he constantly lied. He even lied about little stupid things. We really love each other so much but all that lying really tore us apart. I hope he ...
A. 3 December 2010: If he does come back, will you really be able to trust him again? I mean, will you believe that he got better? Or will you doubt him and think that he might have gotten better at lying? That's the problem with lying and cheating. So hard to build ... (read in full...)
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