| Latest articles: Do We Have a Distorted Sense of What Love Really Is?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 June 2011: So I just wanted to say something about some of the myths and sayings about love and relationships that we hear all the time. Things like: - you'll know it when you feel it - when it's right, it's easy - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to f...
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Growing old vs growing apart?
Q. for a married couple to be together forever they should grow together and not grow apart. What is your definition of "grow together" and/or "grow apart"? give examples if possible...
A. 18 September 2010: haha, I hope so too. And we don't read the some book together (that'd be really sweet, we do it sometimes but rarely). We just both read different books at the same time. And sometimes if we've both read them, we'll talk to each other about it or ... (read in full...)
My friend is making a big mistake! How can I make her see sense?
Q. My friend who's my age is having sex in a week w/ a guy who's not even her boyfriend (she doesn't have one). Basically, she's in love with this guy and he's a total player. He hooks up with anyone that has boobs and something to stick it in (yes, ...
A. 17 September 2010: It sucks waiting for the train wreck that you know is going to happen and not being able to do anything about it. If she won't listen (and it sounds like she won't - people in love can be very dumb), then just wait. You learn best after getting ... (read in full...)
Growing old vs growing apart?
Q. for a married couple to be together forever they should grow together and not grow apart. What is your definition of "grow together" and/or "grow apart"? give examples if possible...
A. 17 September 2010: To be honest, I'm not really sure how to answer this, because I feel like I'm still in the process of figuring this out. But I'd like to know the answer to this too, and will put my best guess about it.
I think that growing together is keeping ... (read in full...)
I love him but hate hearing about his past lovers!
Q. I am sure that this is a popular question, however I just can't seem to find posts about it. I am dating a guy that is devoted to me, but has a huge history of dating and ex's. He has told me that he is committed to me and that I am th...
A. 17 September 2010: Well, the easy solution would be to ask him not to talk about his exes and past sex life with you so much. Just tell him you feel uncomfortable with hearing it, and would just like to enjoy being in the present. As for the hurt and sadness, whe... (read in full...)
Nervous when I need to speak out in class! Help!
Q. I get really nervous when I have to speak out in front of the class and because I've started new courses I've got to do alot of presentations. I'm 17 and go to college. I enjoy the courses I have taken but I HATE doing presentations or even hav...
A. 17 September 2010: Well, I've definitely been there, at least somewhat. I'm shy and hate presentations, and start to stutter a little when I'm up there.
You're right, practice really is what improves it. But you can start small. Just talking to small groups o... (read in full...)
She constantly accuses me of cheating
Q. My girl and I have been together for over two years lived together two yrs this month. In that two years, she has cheated once, we were broken up for a bit. Has failed to find/keep a job, doesn't clean w/ being told, doesn't wake up with our 5mo old ...
A. 16 September 2010: I agree with what the people before me have said about her getting help, and just want to add that one of the factors that would add to her insecurity/unhappiness/etc is the fact that she has nothing to do. You go out to work everyday, and have some ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I wish I could have just one more day with my ex
Q. I was in a relationship for almost 4 yrs, i broke up with him several times, i was happy one day and miserable the nxt, i was so comfortable i nvr visioned being with anyone else or ever leaving for good. i thought i was set for life with this ...
A. 13 September 2010: It's normal to feel this way, to feel weird dating someone new, and not want to. You've gotten out of a long relationship. You're used to feeling comfortable around your ex, having each other know each other inside out, getting used to their quirks, ... (read in full...)
Is too much time together making him neglect me?
Q. We have been together for around 7 months for now and I am starting to feel that he no longer have that "wanting" feeling for me than last time. Is it because we are spending more time together (like 4 times per week) than before that is causing ...
A. 13 September 2010: Relationships are only one part of our lives. There are family, friends, work, personal hobbies, etc. Yes, relationships are a large part, but other things need to play a role as well. In the beginning of the relationship, things are new and you ... (read in full...)
Afraid that not being physical will weaken the relationship
Q. To start out I should tell you my boyfriend and I are both college sophomores. Although I am not a virgin, he is. We both feel as though we want to wait until marriage to have sex...meaning for him to lose his virginity and me to have sex again. ...
A. 13 September 2010: You both sound like you have thought this through and discussed it, and come to the decision that you both want to wait together. As such, I don't think that waiting will weaken your relationship. Relationships are built on many things, sex being ... (read in full...)
I have no respect for myself after cheating on my beautiful wife... help!
Q. hi everyone, i am 23 years old nd really don't know from where to start. I love my wife more than myself i'd give her my sight, i tried my best make all her dreams come true, everything she has dreamt of except one thing, a faithful husband! ...
A. 13 September 2010: If you are beating yourself this badly over it, you might want to confess to your wife. Holding guilt in and keeping it to yourself can drive you crazy, like it seems to be doing. Just telling someone else, especially the person whose forgiveness ... (read in full...)
Should be concerned if my partner meets other guys without telling me, even if it is purely friendship?
Q. Should be concerned if my partner see's other guys without telling me, even if it is purely friendship? My partner sees other guys without mentioning to me that she is doing so. This all came to a head last week when we nearly finished our five yea...
A. 13 September 2010: This is a pretty common problem. One person believes in full disclosure, but the other wants to hide aspects of their life (particularly aspects that the other would really want to be told, like meeting other guys/girls, however innocent). ... (read in full...)
My two lost loves
Q. This is a very long love story about me and my two lost loves. I had a boyfriend in college for four years. We were the loves of each other's lives, even though we drove each other crazy, and I always believed that he was the one. But after we gra...
A. 13 September 2010: It sucks how things worked out for you, but that's generally how relationships work out. You often love each other, but somehow it just doesn't work out for many different reasons. The thing that is probably the most troubling is that you gave up ... (read in full...)
Was she serious in that relationship?
Q. Two months back, my girlfriend dumped and I had to accept her decision with broken heart. We had a breakup before as well but we patched up in just three months. She dumped now saying that because I was not having a good job and she didn’t think...
A. 13 September 2010: Sometimes there are relationships where one person gives and the other person takes and maybe demands. Those are generally not very satisfying as one person (you, in this case) feels used and unappreciated.
It could be that she didn't value th... (read in full...)
I told myself I would never let a man hit me.
Q. I am a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend (also 15 years old) of 8 months hit me Friday for the very first time. He is bipolar and sometimes his mood swings are off the charts and his thought process is irrational at times. I stayed the night with ...
A. 13 September 2010: The fact that he hit you is not a good sign, and you should be careful. That said, he does seem to be very sorry about it and upset that he acted that way. That is a good sign. I would talk to him about why he did that, how he felt, does he feel ... (read in full...)
How can I remind myself to take my birth control pill?
Q. What are some ways to remind your self to take your birthcontrol? so far I have an alarm on my laptop and an alarm on my phone and my Ipod dock and Ipod it's self and sometimes I STILL forget. What are some other ways incase I am not around a...
A. 12 September 2010: Oh, I just posted an answer, but there's something else I wanted to add. If you really can't remember to take it, you might want to consider an alternate form of birth control: the patch, IUD, etc. Something that doesn't require remembering daily. ... (read in full...)
How can I remind myself to take my birth control pill?
Q. What are some ways to remind your self to take your birthcontrol? so far I have an alarm on my laptop and an alarm on my phone and my Ipod dock and Ipod it's self and sometimes I STILL forget. What are some other ways incase I am not around a...
A. 12 September 2010: Wow, that's a lot of alarms. I just use 1 alarm, on my cell phone, because it's usually close to me. I take mine at night, close to before bed time, so I'm usually home and it's become habit. I do have my boyfriend around who knows what time I take ... (read in full...)
Whilst I was on holiday a random boy tried to split me and my boyfriend up. I'm so angry.
Q. Hey everyone some adivce would be greatly appreciated. Im 18 and my boyfriends 19, ive been with him for a year and a half, im going to say i would like to think where the perfect match and that we will be together for a very long time, but these ...
A. 12 September 2010: Whenever someone behaves in a horrible way and it makes me angry, but I can't do anything about it, I try to laugh about it instead of be angry. Here's this unstable guy, who makes up pathetic lies because he's jealous, unhappy, angry, who knows. ... (read in full...)
She's not into her orgasms as much as mine
Q. My girl seems to like getting me off more than herself during sex. She sometimes pulls my hand or mouth away when I try to give her an orgasm, and begs me to F#ck her instead...but she does not have orgasms from penetration. But penetration is her ...
A. 12 September 2010: She might be one of those women who have a lot of trouble orgasming. I am, and can count the number of times I've orgasmed on one hand. As such, it might feel good, but not quite reach that peak. And after awhile, although it feels good, I can tell ... (read in full...)
Is he a FWB or a boyfriend?
Q. my friend doesn't know if shes boyfriend and girlfriend with this guy shes been having sex with. she likes him alot. but every time she wants to see him, he says yes we will meet up but then when she calls him he would tell her hes busy or not...
A. 11 September 2010: If she has to wonder whether they are boyfriend and girlfriend, they are not. Generally you are boyfriend and girlfriend once someone asks you to be. If they are just having sex and there hasn't been any, "would you like to go on a date with me?" or ... (read in full...)
After Almost 3 Months Should I Worry That He is Losing Interest?
Q. Background:I met him in mid June,he asked for my number and he called every day since he received my number, then we had our first date in mid July. We have seen each other about 10 times since then, and now the phone calls have gone from daily to ...
A. 11 September 2010: The comfortable-ness generally comes after the relationship becomes more serious. As you said, you've only had 10 dates, over a span of several months. Usually the beginning should have more calls, more dating, more spending time together and ... (read in full...)
After Almost 3 Months Should I Worry That He is Losing Interest?
Q. Background:I met him in mid June,he asked for my number and he called every day since he received my number, then we had our first date in mid July. We have seen each other about 10 times since then, and now the phone calls have gone from daily to ...
A. 10 September 2010: I would say that generally, if someone is interested, they will make time for you. They will call and want to hear from you. They will try to meet up. One thing I'm not sure why you are doing, is not calling him first or making any arrangements. ... (read in full...)
I've stuck by him despite what he did to me. Now he won't talk to me because I slapped him when I was drunk.
Q. I slapped the man I adore to death this weekend when I was drunk, well we were both drunk. He now doesn't want to speak or talk to me. I clearly don't want this, what should I do? A bit of back round on us. Him and I have been on and of...
A. 10 September 2010: None of this really sounds like it's part of a good relationship. He's cheated on you multiple times, even after you have talked about it and worked it through. Seems as though he is still in the process of continuing to do that. You're there to ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to think we could ever recover from him secret visits to massage brothels for 'happy endings'?
Q. I have been together with my partner for 4 years. We recently got married and I have found out that he has visited a massage parlour/brothel for massage and "happy endings". After initially denying it, he has admitted, after I found a website of the ...
A. 10 September 2010: No you aren't crazy for thinking that you can recover from it. People do forgive their partners for cheating and other such betrayals of trust. But it's hard, and you have to feel that you both care enough to put in the time to rebuild trust. It's ... (read in full...)
I broke things off with him because I found he was up to no good...
Q. Ok... I recently broke things off with my newborn son's father. I found out he was up to no good. I'm a little uneasy because he has a very dark side to him. I am hoping that I never have to deal with him and that he will stay as far away from us as ...
A. 10 September 2010: I would recommend talking to your family and friends about this. I don't really know how your ex is or what you think he will do, but to keep you and your child safe, and for your peace of mind, you should have people that know what's going on. If ... (read in full...)
It seems my life is stood still and everyone elses is moving forward.
Q. hey, I feel as if everyone around me are getting into relationships and im just by myself :(. all my friends are now in relationships and I feel as if im the only one which isn't. My friends all have there own lives now, with having babies or in a ...
A. 8 September 2010: Try to remember that everything looks better on the other side of the fence. Sure, serious relationships are great and all, but I'm sure that your friends sometimes seriously envy you for your freedom. And having babies? You're only around 20, which ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he needs to take a "break"
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 13 months. He lives in California, and I live in Maryland. We've had a long distant relationship for 13 months, and haven't seen each other once. We've never really seemed to mind it, as long as were ...
A. 7 September 2010: Is this relationship really worth the heartbreak and work and worry you're putting into it? This is a long distance relationship where you haven't even gone on 1 date yet. You can talk about your future, but how realistic is it when you haven't even ... (read in full...)
He makes plans but never shows up to see me?
Q. Ok so I'm been just a bit confused lately , so let me start at the begining. I like my friends brother and he is two years older than me. We stay up all night textin eachother and he is like the only person I talk to in the day. And we have known ...
A. 5 September 2010: If he makes plans with you, but doesn't show up, the explanations range from valid things preventing him from keeping the meeting, to being undependable, to just playing games with you. Unless he actually has valid reasons for not keeping these ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy deserves me?
Q. Hello guys, I am dating a guy who's at university and I am still in high school. We have been in this relationship gor about 1 year now. I am a virgin and he's not. The thing is that I don't think he deserves me because if we have sex I'll be ...
A. 5 September 2010: Your virginity isn't a gift or something to trade with someone else. Losing your virginity is a personal decision about whether you feel ready enough, desire to, and feel comfortable enough with your partner. If you really feel that you want to have ... (read in full...)
"I love you but I don't know why"
Q. My wife says " I love you, but I don't know why". We have been married 1.5 years. We have known each other nearly seven years. ...
A. 5 September 2010: Does it really matter as long as she does love you? I've never really known why I love someone. If someone asks me, I might say I'm not sure, or point out some of the nicest characteristics about them that I like, or nice things that they've done. ... (read in full...)
She kissed another guy and I'm really upset about it. What to do next?
Q. guys i neeed help pleaaaase.. my girlfriend just told me a guy in her class kissed her while they were on a break. they were talkin and he just kissed her :S i dont know what to do. i didnt even shout at her i just said ' okay' and left her. she...
A. 5 September 2010: She did everything a good girlfriend should do. A guy kissed her, and she didn't kiss back, she left the situation, and she told you about it. What more could you want? Sure, the idea of her liplocked with someone else can bother you, but she's been ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me because I was best man in a friends wedding!
Q. Girlfriend wants to end us and is really upset and mad at me. From the start we have got on like house on fire. 1 year down the line she says im a selfish, lying, twofaced person. I have stopped seeing my friends and moved into her house, it ta...
A. 5 September 2010: This is ridiculous. I consider myself more jealous, insecure, and controlling than I should be (and am working on changing that), but even I think this is ridiculous. An earlier post says it all. You shouldn't have to excuse the fact that you slept ... (read in full...)
My husband was not upset to find out I lost our baby
Q. It's been almost a year, since I lost my baby. I kept it from my husband because we had so many problems with his mom. His step dad tried to kill himself because his mom cheated on him with a younger man. Loosing the baby has been the hardest ...
A. 5 September 2010: I'm going to try to give some advice from a guy's viewpoint (although I'm not a guy, so we'll see how well that turns out). If he didn't know that you were pregnant, let alone that you miscarried, and didn't find any of this out until a year later, ... (read in full...)
A single mom who wants to have another child for her son
Q. I am a 27 yrs single mum to a 1 year old boy. I am have a good job and still studying so as soon as I am done with my studies I will get a better paying job. I don't want to get married as I had a terrible experience with my first marriage. I always ...
A. 5 September 2010: The biggest thing you have to consider is whether you can support all of you if you have another child, both financially and emotionally/time-wise. You are a single parent, and taking care of kids is extremely tiring, especially if you are in school ... (read in full...)
I am the other person in the relationship!
Q. Hi. I am a 28 year old female. I have been in a relationship for 9 months with a married man. This relationship started off with just a simple kiss and has escalated to a lot more, including love. He has been with his wife for approximately 8 ...
A. 5 September 2010: Everyone deserves a partner that they don't need to share with others. That's why I would never consent to being the other woman. I would simply not be satisfied with not being able to have my love come home to me, sleep with me, go out with me, and ... (read in full...)
An old boyfriend wants to have sex with me... but we're BOTH married!
Q. I have been married to my husband 10 years and he is great to me. This last year an old boyfriend from over 15 years ago found me over the internet and we have become friends. He was my first ever boyfriend. He says he is happily married to his ...
A. 5 September 2010: It's very doubtful that he still has feelings for you, other than the normal "we used to date and there's some good memories of shared time together" feelings you have for most of your exes. It's been too long and there's been no contact. He is ... (read in full...)
Should I do it? Should I cheat?
Q. Should I do it? Should I cheat? In desperate need of advice. Please help. Hello aunts. I really need some good honest advice. As weird as this might sound, preferably from someone who has cheated before. Let me give you a quick background: I ...
A. 5 September 2010: This is not the right reason to cheat (not that there really is any right reason in the first place). You want to cheat so you can possibly feel even with her, on the off chance that she has lied to you and done something, either while you were with ... (read in full...)
How do you get over a 3 year relationship when your still madly in love with the person?
Q. How do you get over a 3 year relationship when your still madly in love with the person? especially when they were your best friend when you were 12 and they are all you ever had....
A. 5 September 2010: You just try to see it as a good thing. You've been with someone for 3 years and it's all you've experienced. But you're young, and there's a whole world of romance and adventure, from flings, to flirting, to serious relationships, to casual dating ... (read in full...)
I'm searching for my gorgeous ex in new guys!
Q. I went out with a man that I met online last nite. Weve been chatting quite a while got lots in common. I liked the look of him.got the same ideas bout life what we want etc. And I felt so comfortable when I met him last nite, but when I met him I ...
A. 5 September 2010: I don't like judging someone on the first few dates. Yes, if you found them completely unattractive or had no interest in talking to them, then it's unlikely it would work. But generally it isn't love or attraction at first sight. It takes time to ... (read in full...)
Is a God who does not exist, more important for her than the man she claims to love?
Q. Hello everyone, I am 22 and me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for the last 3 years. There are a lot of points that I must highlight before going to the real issue. In the 1st year of our relationship, she was flirty with guys and used to ...
A. 5 September 2010: Religion is just one of those issues where if you don't agree, it most likely won't work. I'm an atheist too, and I can't imagine being with someone who was seriously religious. They are entitled to their beliefs, but I simply could not live with ... (read in full...)
After our breakup he wants to remain bestfriends...but I'm scared I won't be able to handle any new girlfriends of his...
Q. i want my ex to be happy. my ex wants to be my bestfriend still which i think is great because most guys will just cut you out of their lives when they dump you. i'm still in love with him though and i know eventually he'll date a girl.when he dates ...
A. 4 September 2010: Being best friends after a relationship is tough when you still have feelings for the other person. I would recommend taking a little time and distance to let you get over him. Otherwise you could get caught up maintaining hope and love for your ex ... (read in full...)
I am getting increasingly annoyed and angered by friends.
Q. Hi All. Am not sure what type of advice I'm hoping to get, but recently I've found that I am getting increasingly annoyed and angered by friends. I'm always there to lend an ear and provide support, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to emp...
A. 4 September 2010: Part of being a friend is being able to tell them that they're annoying you with their constant whining about issues. I get annoyed with some of my friends when they come to me with the same issue and never seriously take my advice into ... (read in full...)
He says one day he'll marry me but has a wife and child. What should I do?
Q. Am separated from my husband and I am currently seeing this guy who is 10 years older than me we do not do a lot of things together. We hardly go out or do any fun things together. This guy is a medical doctor and is married with 1 adopted daughter. ...
A. 4 September 2010: It makes no sense for you to have to justify your life or curtail what you want to do for someone that is not really part of your life. He belongs to someone else. He's not your partner or husband, and most likely never will be. And yet he's trying ... (read in full...)
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