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What happened to our sex life?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Look..im very upset.. My girlfriend (I think) is losing sex drive with me...when we first started dating she swallowed and like a little bit of anal. Now 4 years later she will not do any of it...and we haven't had sex in amonth...what is going on?

View related questions: sex drive, sex life, swallow

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010):

It is time for a serious talk with your girlfriend. I think the chat will answer some of your questions. It is important for both of you to be openly honest.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010):

She feels she has you locked up as her girlfriend.

Once that happens women don't feel they have to chase you any more. Hint that perhaps you should break up since she doesn't seem to like the physical part anymore, that may bring her around. If not it is not going to get better and you should look for some new lovin.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 August 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntGood B.J.s do not a good marriage make. Get over yourself, concentrate on other things.most women hate the things that guys like.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (30 August 2010):

Four years of a relationship is plenty of time for passion to fade if you don't work at keeping it alive. Sex can get routine and almost like a chore easily, since it's often the same thing with the same person, over and over. So bring up some fantasies that you are both interested in and explore. Buy her some sexy lingerie (be careful because sometimes we can interpret that as we're not pretty enough). Or you can play up to some of her fantasies (do a striptease yourself, I know it's not that common for men to do it, but it can be sexy or at least a laugh and she might appreciate the effort). Take her out to a hotel and surprise her with a sexy sensual romantic night. Talk to her about it and then you guys can work together to bring some passion back.

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (29 August 2010):

DanceInTheDark agony auntDo you consider what she wants sexually? Do you just do the same thing old thing? She could be bored.

Maybe you could have a night, where you it's all about what she wants? Take her out for a nice dinner, tell her how beautiful and sexy she is.

Is there any other issues? Stress? Low body image?

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A female reader, Julie2010 Ireland +, writes (29 August 2010):

Have you asked her whats up, or tried talking to her? Id try that first. There could be something she wants to talk about.

But what I will say, is that sometimes us girls get too comfy and dont have the overwhelming urge to please anymore...and we get to know what we like and keep to that.. its satisfactory for both, but not exciting eh?

Try giving her a genuine reason to dress sexy (a night out) with a few days notice. Outline to her that it'll be like a proper date, and to treat it as such.

Then when you're out together flirt and compliment her to make her feel 'in the mood' like old times. Use the charm you used to win her over with, and then made your move!

Best of luck.

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