A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I told my wife the other night that she's the best lover I have ever had. She smilied, waited a bit and then said, "me too baby." I don't know what the pause entailed though. Just taking in the moment or deciding whether or not to tell me a little white lie to boost my ego?I also recall another time I asked her, if I was the biggest she ever had? If i was bigger/better than her ex boyfriends. We were in the shower and she kind of rolled her eyes and said, "yes, you are." but very softly. She said she doesn't like talking about stuff like that. She told me a couple of times already when we are making love, that if I thrust too hard or the position allows for deep penetration I hurt her sometimes. But when this happens, I am as far in as I can go. I am by no means huge. I actually think I'm average. I average about 6.5 inches long and about 5.5 girth. I had/have a bad habit of asking those types of questions. I'm working on it and getting better but I just wonder what some women would do. Would you say a "white lie" to your husband in order to boost his ego or make him feel better? Or could she be telling the truth?P.S. She said she has only slept with 3 guys before me. I just see these guys on those porn sites, and even the ones that aren't huge seem pretty well endowed. Oh, and both her ex boyfriends are taller than me. One was like 6' 1" the other like 6' 3". They were both Caucasian and I'm Hispanic. I'm 5' 10/11".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): You are looking at this all wrong - you want her to think you are the biggest, the best etc - why? To give yourself an ego boost, or because then you believe she will be satisfied and won't leave you/cheat etc in future. The 1st reason just makes you sound selfish and childish, the 2nd reason, the anxiety about wanting to be "enough" to keep your partner is something more normal. Just don't make it about you. Revealing your anxiety "am I bigger, better than ex?" etc is a bit annoying and makes you seem less 'manly'! Instead concentrate on how to give her sex she really enjoys - what techniques, places etc she gets most pleasure from. This is what will make you the hottest lover to her not the measurement of your penis! Its good to know what you can improve at as well as what you are good at already. And the more she is enjoying sex with you, the more she wants it with you - so by your efforts you will both win :) suggest you get a nice lovers guide type book that will give you some ideas - and show you are putting efforts in - suggest you make some nice food and have some wine and sit and read it together with open minds about what pleases each of you and what you could try.
A
female
reader, StrayTogether.com +, writes (30 August 2010):
 I've never understood why guys want to be "the biggest we've ever had." I guess I don't have enough testosterone to get it.
To tell you the truth, I don't want one of those porn guys and neither do most of the women I know. That shit would hurt all the time and not in just some positions! And frankly, I think that the big dicks in the porn movies are for the GUYS, not the women! (And remember that film makes everyone and everything look a little larger. Ever seen a 'normal' looking actress in person? She looks anemic in real life.)
Yes, there are women who love a huge cock, but the fact of the matter is that for most women, while size does matter, it's not the be all end all and there can be too much of a good thing.
There's so much more to good love making than a large cock. Focus on that and not your cock size or how you compare to her prior lovers.
Quit asking her. She's given you her answer. Accept it. Move on and enjoy the sex. Be happy you married a women that wants it. Unfortunately, many don't.
Fondly,
Jill
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (30 August 2010):
No real way of knowing if she's telling a white lie to make you feel good or not. Out of anyone, you'd be the best judge of knowing whether she is or not, since you know how much she values honesty over not hurting someone with the truth. But the insecurity over this probably does not make her feel comfortable with telling the truth (if indeed she is even lying about it to begin with).
All I know is that I have no problem telling my bf that he isn't the largest I've had. Or that it might not be the best sex ever. He knows that I enjoy sex with him, with the size he has. And I know that I'm in the top partners he's had, probably not the top, but there are things that are better about me than anyone else. Not being the best isn't that big a deal, as long as you both enjoy it, and it gives you something to work to improve and get even better.
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A
female
reader, 21w +, writes (30 August 2010):
 You are watching too much porn. A lot of it is fake for crying out loud.
Totally agree with CaringGuy. Couldn't say it better.
Just stop asking those questions and enjoy your lady.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 August 2010):
You're worrying far, far too much. Her reactions are totally truthful, and in some ways indicate that she is becoming a little annoyed with you needing reassurance all the time about something so trivial. That's why she rolled her eyes when you mentioned your size. She doesn't care at all. But you're starting to sound insecure and needy, and women don't like that. You're obviously the best she's had since she married you, and your size is above average. Just relax.
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