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How can he think his behavior is acceptable?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ivefortheweekend writes:

Im fuming! Me and bf were meant to be doing something today.... i text him this morning saying what did he want to do later on and that was 5 hours ago, its now 3pm and ive not heard from him. I have also called him once and no answer. He seems to think this type of behaviour is acceptable! I do really love him and want to make this work, how can i make him realise this isn't good behaviour? If he does not get into contact by tonight im going to even more madder than i am now!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010):

before you get urself too worked up, is this the first time he has done something like this? if so give him a chance to contact you before leaving those awful messages us women can sometimes leave, they will only lead to arguements and or no returned calls. if this is habit of his you need to stand you ground and calmly explain how you feel.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2010):

Well that's what you have to do. Keep calm, but be firm and tell him how you feel. He will either change his ways, or he won't.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (30 August 2010):

Yes, it's really annoying when your partner doesn't contact you, especially when you have plans together. And it can be a very frustrating habit if it occurs regularly. But getting mad really won't help. People react to anger and getting accused with being defensive and angry in return. So if you'd like to try to solve this issue, wait until you're calm enough to talk to him without being angry. Express your feelings about how you want to spend time together and that if he doesn't contact you, especially when you have plans, you worry and don't feel that he is committed.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (30 August 2010):

Yos agony auntIs it possible his phone is broken, out of power, lost, or he forgot to pay his bill? Is it possible he is caught up an urgent problem at work and can't get away? Is it possible he's looking forward to tonight but doesn't know what he wants to do yet, and doesn't feel the need to text yet as he's not such a prolific texter? Is it possible he's feeling chased by you and feels he needs a bit of space and so hasn't replied yet?

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A female reader, livefortheweekend United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2010):

livefortheweekend is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the reply... this isn't the first time it has happened and im probably just as much to blame as him as i let him get away with it but this time hes not and im going to stand up for myself and tell him its not acceptable. I dont want to lose him but at the same time I am being treated like a door matt!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2010):

What if he forgot his phone? What if he's ill? What if it's something to do with work?

See me point? People don't have phones on them 24 hours a day. I certainly don't. If this is a common occurrence, then you need to sit down and tell him that you don't like the fact that he often doesn't get back to you. But you getting mad really is a waste of time, because men are great at switching off to a women who gets mad. He won't listen, you'll get mad, he won't care, you'll get madder. So sit down, take a breather and stop getting so mad. If this is a regular occurrence, then tell him straight you don't like it and see what his response is. If he gets better, then all well and good. If not, then you need to think about whether he's as committed to you as you are to him.

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