A
female
age
30-35,
*teena26
writes:Ok so if I was to explain the story in full, you'd be reading for a loooong time, so i'l try to keep it brief! basically, me and my ex were together for 3 and a half years and, to my knowledge, everything was great, we had talked about spending the rest of our lives together- we were incredibly serious! We went on holiday in late May and he breaks up with me 4 days after we got back! we'd had a few tiffs on holiday but certainly nothing major and it was a huge shock to me and I was devastated. We go to the same university though, and had signed a contract to live in a student house together along with a few others. Over the summer I tried to give him the space that he said he wanted and he just kept blowing hot and cold, one minute he wanted me back, the next he didn't want to know again. Even more devastated each time I got pushed away. So then we finally move into the house after the summer hols and he had led me to believe we could give it another go... once again he changes his mind and tells me "once and for all" that we are 100% over. Cutting a long and complicated story short, my ex starts dating this girl he knows from work except it seems he has no real respect for her because he is still sleeping with me and fooling around with me.. meaning that I feel vulnerable once again due to his sudden interest. I feel bad for her but I find it really hard to resist his advances because I'm still hopelessly in love with him :( I want him back badly.Anyways my question is... can he really be into her if this is how he treats her (he was 100% faithful to me in our relationship) and is he still in love with me? or is this simply a case of wanting the best of both worlds?? I'm confused and hurt and truly lost of how to act and what to do. any help??
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female
reader, Steena26 +, writes (3 December 2010):
Steena26 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys, I appreciate all your answers regardless of the fact it's not really what I wanted to hear and I do agree with all of you. I feel like such a fool for thinking he might still be that loving, faithful guy I fell in love with. Luckily, I'm moving out of the house so this can't go on any longer anyway. I decided no matter what happens, I can't keep living at the house and seeing him move on and blow hot and cold on me, it's not fair and totally hurtful. So, like one of the answer posting's said... he might eventually come to miss what we had, and if not, i'll be halfway to moving on anyway. Any more answers will still be gratefully recieved :)
Steena26
A
male
reader, Mig29  +, writes (3 December 2010):
he is using your emotions to make you hi9s fuck buddy and you are towing the line, no good will come out of this and you shall end up being more hurt. Stay awway from him...
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Oh he's playing you like a fiddle... and you're letting him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): hi teen26, this seems to me that your ex does want the relationship to be over. he probably liked the girl from his work alot longer than he is letting on. the arguments on holiday are his excuse to get out of relationship and be able to move on as a valid reason. you are just his booty call now. and if it is given easily, most men who have no scruples and are down right selfish will take it. he is using you for sex. has he started a sexual relationship with this new girl? you are worth more than this. i know it will be breaking your heart but STOP sleeping with him. he has moved on. try and get out with friends. be too busy and show him you have a fun time without him, even if you dont feel that way! make him bottom of your priorties and you first. you never know, if you are not there for him he might start to miss what you had. but if he doesnt then you know for sure that he only want you for sex and nothing more. best of luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 It seems to me that this is simply a case of his wanting the best of all worlds, indeed.
He is not in love with you. Question: If you love someone, do you tell that someone you're over and sleep with someone else?
I know this hurts, but I think you deserve much, much better than this. Sometimes we have to make a decision not to let someone treat us the way this man is treating you. I think you should take that step.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 December 2010):
 It could be that he's only had one serious relationship... (You!) He's curious and is wanting to see if the grass is greener on the other side. How do you expect him to take you seriously and remain loyal to you when you're still "giving to him" sexually knowing full well that he's dating someone else? In doing this you're allowing him to date others and still get what he wants off you! In other words, you're giving your consent and approval to play the field.
As long as you still keep giving him what he wants then there's no challenge there any more for him so why should he commit fully to you? You're allowing him to use you and STILL date others!!! I suggest you take back the control and DON'T fool around with him at all while he's still playing the field. He'll respect you more in the long run if you do.
~Eve~
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