A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK, here goes.I met someone at a local bar. We got chatting, got on really well. He asked me what i was doing later, and if i'd like to come into town with him as he was meeting friends. I agreed. (we have friends in common)We bumped inot his friends, danced, drank...Kissed. All in full view of everyone. It was just really nice to click with some1 for once. We slept together, he stayed with me that night. Tucked me up, kept me warm etc. We exchanged numbers, gave me his networking info. Later that day i added him and noticed he was in a relationship! I text him right away, and he replied so apologetic, and that he didnt want me to think bad of him, that it wasnt a mistake in his eyes, but things are awfully complicated for him.I have seen him since, and spoke about it and he still maintains it wasnt a mistake....Im an intelligent person, and i know what the answer is to this already. But i must admit i feel a soft spot for him, because i too have been in this situation, feeling trapped. Im wondering what other peoples opinions are? I dont understand why he would be so public about this..... as i would be worried in his situation that this would come out before he made a choice. He said he has no guilt - this is somthing i dont understand. Im curious. Thoughts please :-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): You could wonder if his current relationship is breaking up, but then, its not your problem. Don't get involved with him again unless he's free at some point. He may have been quite open because he's a risk taker and that's all part of the thrill. Men like him can have a charisma that is appealing but unless you want to be hurt I would put it down to experience. I think you are aware of all this, as you say, but hope that somehow he is a good guy in a 'complicated' place. If he wants a repeat performance, which he may well do at some stage, you would be best off declining unless he is free and then you take your chances.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): Forget about him! Take more time to get to know someone and their circumstances before jumping into bed with them if you want more than that.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Pretty good indicator of how he'd treat you in a relationship don't ya think...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): I bet his relationship status isn't even set at "it's complicated" so even that was a lie haha.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): That's funny because saying it wasn't a mistake makes what he did even worse. Saying he has no guilt means he won't have any guilt about cheating on you either.
You didn't do anything wrong by sleeping with him, so WHEN it goes public then you have nothing to feel bad about and people will know. If however you continue talking and sleeping with this guy then people will know you're the "homewrecker"
This guys middle names are 'trouble' 'heartache' 'liar' 'cheater' and 'unashamed'.
Continue at your peril, he's full of crap with his stupid "trapped" story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This guy is a first class liar and your best option would be to delete his number and move on. He cheated on his girlfriend for crying out loud! Why would you want to keep talking to this guy?
Don't get sucked in. I've known guys like this and they know all the right things to say.
Things aren't "complicated" he knew exactly what he was doing.
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