A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Before me and this guy had sex I went to use the bathroom and I removed my pantyliner. The pantyliner was clean as I recently put it on but his trash was overflowing so I decided to just wrap it up and put it in my pocket and throw it away when i got home. The next morning when I got home I couldn’t find it, I looked through my jeans and it wasn’t there, I’m not sure if I threw it in the trash when I got home or not. My question is if I did in fact leave it and he found it, will he think that im disgusting and nasty? Will he not want to talk to me anymore? It was an honest mistake, I did not mean to leave it at all, I am highly embarrassed and ashamed.. I don’t know if I should ask him about it or not. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (16 June 2018):
Forgot my login, but recalled it. This was my answer...
'About 15 years ago in London I was flatmates with a thoroughly loathsome girl, a self-absorbed nasty drunk who was genuinely impossible to get along with no matter how pleasant I tried to be'... etc.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2018): About 15 years ago in London I was flatmates with a thoroughly loathsome girl, a self-absorbed nasty drunk who was genuinely impossible to get along with no matter how pleasant I tried to be. Once before going to bed I used our bathroom. On the shelf above the toilet was a very bloody used Tampax which she was obviously too blotto or pilled-out to flush. I didn't bother telling her about it, though my first impulse was to write 'DISGUSTING FILTHY PIG' with her eyeliner on the mirror with an arrow pointing to it. Next morning it was gone, as I presumed it would be, and I never once mentioned it. Haven't seen her since she moved out a month or two afterward, and good riddance. But hey, J- I saw it, and my opinion of you was infinitely justified thereby!As for you, Miss Anonymous, please don't worry. You seem like a very decent young woman, tidy, discreet and perfectly normal. I doubt a guy who's so casual about his rubbish bin would have noticed a thing even if he'd found it, which is doubtful given his 'casual' housekeeping. Please don't be so hard on yourself, relax, and enjoy whatever this relationship has to offer. And I hope he's a keeper.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (13 June 2018):
 Please worry not about this at all.
You are a woman, you are simply using a panty liner and this is a very normal, healthy and clean habit by all means.
Even if this guy did see it, it's no big deal at all and i am quite sure, he won't think anything negative about you.
If this guy fully respects you and i sure hope he does, then he won't think anything of it and God forbid, if he decided to reject/leave you, all because of your panty liner, that would be totally ridiculous.
You need not be embarrassed at all, as being a woman using a panty liner, is as natural and as normal, as going to bed each night and waking up each morning.
I would be more inclined to encourage you, (if you're not already doing so) to be sex safe, so as not to catch an STD or find yourself pregnant, if you choose to sleep with this guy or anybody else.
This guy should be the one who feels embarrassed, because after all, it was HIS rubbish bin that was overflowing.
He really should be emptying his rubbish more regularly, especially if/when he knows he will be bringing somebody back to his place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2018): It's best to just forget about it now. I'm sure he understands about menstruation and similar needs... he's an adult man.
I think it's gross that he doesn't take his garbage out! It's not your fault that he hadn't cleaned up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2018): I doubt he is going to find it disgusting, males do then to know women have to wear these things and it was hardly saturated in blood.
I agree with the other advice, don't mention it and just see if he contacts you and wants to continue whatever road you are both going down, which i assume you are hoping is more as you are worried how he will feel about this.
You will maybe just have to take a bag and some plastic bags inside if there is a next time and you get caught out, i am in a relationship and it is normal for women to have to dispose of these things without the man seeing, pleasures of being a female i guess, it's no biggie, though i understand that you will be trying to make a good impression on him so will be self conscious.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 June 2018):
 It was clean so no big deal. If you are comfortable enough to have sex with each other then these things shouldn't bother you either! It is all normal and nothing to be embarrassed about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2018): Oh sweetheart, you're a young woman and he will surely understand! Don't you worry on it! Hey, his trash can was overflowing! He was probably thinking " oh no, I hope she doesn't notice that messy waste basket!" So you're even!
You can't even recall if you may have even disposed of it when you got home; which is more likely the case. It was clean, so what's the big deal?
Don't allow your mind to worry you from stress to distress; it's unhealthy. Take a deep breath and slowly exhale and laugh it off. We make embarrassing little mistakes; but you're not even sure if he'll find it. If he does...so what? You're a girl, and those things happen. Don't ask him about it, because it isn't necessary.
My guess is you instantly changed your mind and didn't put it in your pocket, but flushed it instead. Your last thought was to put it in your pocket, but decided it better to flush it instead. You just made love to your boyfriend, you were in a bit of euphoria. It would be funny if you looked inside one of the legs of your jeans and found it there! If he finds it, he'll simply toss it. He won't even mention it.
More importantly, I hope you're using condoms for your own protection. Don't presume a guy is clean just because he's straight. Even if you're on the pill, it doesn't protect you from STD's. If you want to worry, that's should be your concern. Your health and safety!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (12 June 2018):
 I think the real surprise in this post is that you didn't think he was disgusting for having an overflowing trash can in his bathroom. You are very tolerant.
I do agree with the previous advice to not mention it. Maybe I'm jaded after raising 3 girls, but it just isn't a big deal.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 June 2018):
 If he finds it that disgusting he will surely tell you. Then you can simply explain what happened.
My guess he wouldn’t even think twice about it if he finds it. He will pick it up and throw it in the bin. It’s really not the end of the world is it?
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A
female
reader, holeymoley +, writes (12 June 2018):
 Oh good god no, don't ask him. Chances are that would embarrass him just as much as it would you and if he did find it rolled up probably wouldn't give much thought as to what is was any way. Nothing to be ashamed of, not your fault his bin was overflowing. Maybe just have a good look in your bin and try put your mind at rest.
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