A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I plan to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to let him know until I delete all our photos together from his phone. Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone? I never wanted to take pictures with him in the first place because I didn't believe we would last together. Should i delete them or not? Besides he always has a habit of showing off my pictures yo his friends and family. Now I want to be completely erased. Should I take his phone and do that? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (28 June 2018):
 "Am I mean to delete all our photos from his phone?" No, purely because you can't do it. It's illegal and it's none of your business what he has on his phone.
That said, him keeping pictures of exes should have shown you that he was going to keep them after a break up. Unfortunately, you have no right to delete them.
I understand why you want them gone, but you can't do any more than ask once.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (26 June 2018):
 I suspect there is a lot more to this story that you haven't mentioned, otherwise you would not even consider such drastic action.
The scenario I have built up in my mind (and I could be totally off track but this is was I think) is that he was a friend who then persuaded you to get into a relationship with him, even though you didn't really think he was good enough for you. You agreed to get into a relationship because you didn't have the heart or the bottle to refuse him. He took lots of photos of you and showed them to his friends and family because he was so proud of being in a relationship with a girl like you. You have now decided it was a bad idea and you want out of the relationship. Am I close? If so, I think you are angry with YOURSELF for allowing yourself to be talked into a relationship you knew would not last.
Don't take out your anger on him (unless has done you harm during the course of your relationship). Rise above such petty "revenge" and drama as deleting his photos. Likelihood is, he has them backed up anyway. Hold your head high and walk away with dignity. Why would you want to sink to such a low level?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhy i did this is because before we started dating. He was already showing pictures of me to his friends which I detest. I am not a trophy and he doesn't even treat me as such.
When i asked him to delete pur photos, he refused and he has pictures of his ex and it's a lot of exes from years back on his phone. I didn't want to be a part of. The statistic. I want to feel bad about deleting the photos but I cannot.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 June 2018):
 Just break up with him.
You have absolutely no right to go through his phone or decide what pictures or memories he keeps of you. Whether you’re on good terms or not, that’s not your decision to make.
Break up and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): If he has naked photos of you then if I were in your position I would definitely delete those. But otherwise I don’t think it is your right to delete those pictures. You could ask him to delete them if it bothers you that much.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 June 2018):
 Like EVERYONE have mentioned, this is not legal. It's not your "right" to go through his phone or delete stuff OFF his phone which is HIS private property.
Now TBH I get it if any of them are nudes or semi nudes but just selfies with the two if you? Who cares? He will probably delete them anyways after the break up but THAT is for HIM to decide, not you.
Compare it to breaking into his house and taking pictures off the wall in HIS house. You can't do that.
And yes, it's petty and immature.
It sounds like you are hoping this will somehow hurt him. That its sort of a "revenge" idea. Noe if he did something stupid or cheated or was a total ass... the more calm and classy you end it the better.
WHY not, Like Aunt Cindy suggest... when you ACTUALLY break up with him ASK him to delete all your photos together? Like a MATURE person. Tell him since we are over and done with, please delete all photos of us.
So no, I don't think you should go through HIS phone and do whatever you think you have a "right" to do, because you have ZERO rights when it comes to his phone and pictures ON his phone.
Grow up OP and handle the break up as best as you can.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 June 2018):
 I'm the only one who's going to go against the majority I guess. I'm not proud to say that I did this once. The guy in question was a jerk and although the photos were not questionable in the least, I still didn't want him to have them. By the end of the relationship, I couldn't bear to even look at his face and I would shudder at the thought that he could see my pics on his phone whenever he wanted to.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 June 2018):
 Are you kidding ? Not only it would be petty , foolish and arrogant , but I doubt that it would even be legal.
If you are not a minor, and the pictures were taken with your knowledge and consent, they are HIS photos now , his property to keep or erase according to HIS judgement.
What you plan to do is equivalent to stealing. Same as you had given him an oil painting with your portrait, and you were trying to recover it behind your bf's back- it would be theft. These pics may portray you- but they are his propertu ; so, hands off his phone .
If this is such a big deal for you , why , when you break up , don't you just ask him nicely to erase your pics together ? I am inclined to think he will oblige you ( probably saying to himself " Whoa, I really dodged a bullet with this one. Well, thanks God is over ".
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (26 June 2018):
 whoa..put yourself in his place. Would you like it if he did that to you? If anyone did that to you? I think not. Be mature, break up with him but don't be sneaky and underhanded. Its his phone, not yours and unless he gave you permission to do whatever you like with his phone, you are out of line.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 June 2018):
 If photos are on HIS phone they are his, to keep, delete or print off and throw darts at if he wishes.
if you are going to break up with him then do it! There is no need for spiteful, nasty, mean, immature behaviour such as you plan.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): I don't want to seem rude or snarky; but it is likely he will do that anyway.
Does he give you free access to his phone? Can he go on your phone, and delete whatever he wants to out of spite?
If he doesn't have any compromising photos or pictures of you unclothed; you don't have a right to touch his property without his permission. If you took pictures together and you didn't ask them to be deleted then and there; sorry, but they are now his property.
You have no right to delete anything from another person's personal device. You can ask them to. I don't think you have to worry about it; I think as soon as you breakup, he'll be very much obliged.
...............................
A
female
reader, holeymoley +, writes (26 June 2018):
 It does come off as petty, unless of course there are some for his eyes only. Other than that I wouldn't bother. Just adds salt to the wound
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): No you should not erase the photos off his phone. It is his phone and you have no right to erase anything off his phone. When you break up with him he will delete the photos in his own time.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): No need for that because probably he will delete all your pictures from his phone once you break up with. I know I would do that if I was in his place.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2018): That's not up to you. You will NEVER be erased. Delete all the pictures you want, you cannot erase the memories.
You sound very immature... why even date if you don't expect it to last?
Be alone for a while until you grow up.
...............................
A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (26 June 2018):
 Doing something like that is a huge invasion of privacy and incredibly disrespectful. It's his property; you have no right to delete anything from his phone including pictures you willing allowed him to take with you.
You'll be breaking his heart and when he turns to pictures of the two of you for comfort he will come to realized that they're all gone which could really piss him off or make him feel really worse. Your breakup tactic feels very harsh.
Yes, it would be very mean. It's fine if you want to end it with him, that's your prerogative, just go. Don't do things that can lead to more problems.
All the best.
...............................
|
