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Hi, My name is Richard, I'm 44 years old, divorced with 2 adult children (I got started young). I live in Texas, but my fiancee is from Australia. I met her living in the UK.
Who am I? My education, counseling, but most of all, Life Experiences have helped me to develop a mindset that has allowed me to be successful in my personal relationships. |
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What do guys think of girls who make the first move?
Q. I need to know ..... what do guys think of girls who make the first move? Ive met someone I REALLY like, we exchanged numbers and have met up a few times. Each time, we get on great and theres a definite attraction between us. The only thing is, I...
A. 13 August 2007: The ritual mating dance. It depends on what you're looking for. Are you're looking for a confident man and a chance at a little more than a romp? Confident men see what they want and go for it. Confident women do the same thing. I think smart ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about this whole phone hiding situation?
Q. my boyfriends stoped at my house the other nihgt and he he was hot so he got on the floor when i woke up in the morning i heard somthink vibrate like a phone but he doest have a phone and it wasnt mine. i checked him for one but now that i think i ...
A. 13 August 2007: A little healthy paranoia never kiled anybody. Did you try asking him? When people lie they tend to look away and connot look you in the eye. When you get a chance, ask him. Stand face to face, hold him your hands in his, lovingly and say "john, ... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a married man for over a year, he says he's gonna leave, I just need to be patient.
Q. I've been involved with a married man for over a year, he says he's gonna leave, I just need to be patient. I love him with everything in me and can't stand the thought of being without him, but I'm so tired of being alone. Am I being too impatient? ...
A. 13 August 2007: I think you've come to the right place to ask experienced people their opinion. I think you should leave him. Why? Some really basic problems with what you are wanting to do. Brandie, relationships are based on trust. You're boyfriend has proven ... (read in full...)
Do I be selfish and end it now or wait until he is on his feet and can make something of his life?????
Q. I am stuck in a marriage of 12 years with 2 children, my husband has always put me and my children 2nd to everybody else, only now I feel so stupid that I have put up with it so long. I have just changed my career and have met loads of lovely ...
A. 12 August 2007: What is the goal he is working toward? ... (read in full...)
I cry myself to sleep, I can't talk to her, and worst, I don't like how she's treating everyone.
Q. My best friend is dating a 21 year old guy (she's 16). She has been treating me and all her friends like crap because we keep asking her to quit being VERY touchy-feely with him around us. It makes us really uncomfortable. We made a vow to not...
A. 12 August 2007: You feel like your relationship with your friend is changing, but you cannot control what she does. Live you're life the way you want, be in control of you. I suggest having people around you that support your goals, but you're not saying she's ... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and I don't want to! What do I do?
Q. well, I'm so confused and the issue itself has been causing me a depression since it happened that I thought of committing suicide just to escape the scandal. I'm 23 years old and due to circumstances I was pushed into a relationship and I lost my ...
A. 11 August 2007: Suicide is not an option, under any circumstances.... (read in full...)
Slept with my co-worker when he was drunk! How do act when I see him at work?
Q. I really don't know where to start. I've been working with this guy for over a year. First he started as a bartender and a couple of months later,he was my new manager. I've always been attracted to him and we've been out for coffee a couple of ...
A. 11 August 2007: As a woman, I think your prerogative is to pretend like nothing happened. As a man, if he is more interested than a fling, then it's up to him to make a move to make it something more. The question you should be asking is if he does approach you, ... (read in full...)
How can I start to think for myself and stop being so influenced by my mother?
Q. Hi - I wonder if anyone could help. My mother recently told me that she got very hurt in her teens (she is now 62) because she found out her mother (my grandmother who is no longer alive) had an affair. Her father never found out and she never ...
A. 11 August 2007: You're right, you're mother will never change and has issues that she won't ever get over. Accept it. Why are you trying to change your mother? You can only change yourself. Once you accept her for who she is, then you can move on with the ... (read in full...)
I have to force myself to have sex and don't really enjoy it at all.
Q. I really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he is amzing. He treats me like a princess and loves me so much. He is the best boyfriend that I have ever had, the only problem is that lately I haven't really b...
A. 11 August 2007: Can he satisfy you in bed? ... (read in full...)
When we got back together I had started smoking again, I just kinda kept it discreet. It's been a year and she still doesn't know.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for like a year. When we first got together I quit smoking for her because she said she would never date a smoker but we broke up for a couple weeks, when we got back together I had started smoking again, I ...
A. 11 August 2007: When you start to deceive people you love, and you feel like it's a deception in your heart, then I suggest you deal with it. Otherwise, you will not be giving yourself completely to the relationship. Especially something like this, where you are ... (read in full...)
I must add that there is guilt in the aftermath and I am not sure about this whole situation/relationship anymore and I am going crazy!!!
Q. My current girlfriend was met whilst I was dating her close friend. At that time she was in a break-up situation with her boyfriend and I didn't take much notice of her. As time went by I grew fond of her but was not attracted to her. She admitted ...
A. 11 August 2007: If you think you are going crazy now, try and hold together a relationship after you've invited another person in your bedroom. There is no going back. If you are a man and she is a woman, then there will be issues of jealousy, anger, pain, ... (read in full...)
We had a wonderful relationship and, in the space of 4 days, everything went wrong, from what he said it's over and he communicated this by text message, and I haven't been given any reasons...
Q. Hi All My marriage recently broke down and, when I thought I would take my time before entering another relationship, I met this most incredible man through an online dating website. We immediately clicked, and our first "conversation" was over ...
A. 11 August 2007: I think he had sex with someone else which made him realize you're not the one for him. Things are more hectic, "with another slap and tickle". It's better to know now than 5 years from now. Consider yourself lucky that he has shown you the classic ... (read in full...)
I thought my ex fiancee and I were just on a bit of a break, I didn't know he had met someone on the internet from another country and gone over to see her.
Q. I thought my ex fiancee and I were just on a bit of a break, I didn't know he had met someone on the internet from another country and gone over to see her. The next time they met they married in a quickie marriage over there and he brought her back ...
A. 10 August 2007: You'll have to help me out here. What part makes you think you had something to do with it? What does a bit of a break mean? Did you fight, argue, bored with each other? You wrote, "At first he asked you to wait?" At first when? Just after you ... (read in full...)
I just need help getting over the guilt/regret/shame?!?!?!!
Q. My live-in boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago. He just said he "couldn't do it" that he "wasn't ready". I was very hurt and confused by this. After the break-up he kept finding reasons to come by and see me. After a month of this feeling ...
A. 10 August 2007: Why would you want to be a couple if you get along or don't get along like that? You did the best thing you could do given the circumstances. You apologised. Let it go at that. I don't recommend living your life waiting for someone to forgive you ... (read in full...)
I want my marriage to last but I am so unhappy! How do I deal with this?
Q. I married and find myself to be unhappy and as more time go by, I seem to feel colder and colder inside. I love my wife but find myself not to be in love with her. We've been married for little over a year now and have a beautiful daughter about ...
A. 10 August 2007: I think you are doing the right thing by telling her how you feel. If you've told her you're not in love with her, then she knows that it's not working for you. Now go to her and ask her what she thinks you both should do, hopefully she will suggest ... (read in full...)
How do I trust women again after I've been cheated on twice?
Q. After my last 2 girlfriends cheated, how can I fully trust women or girls again?...
A. 10 August 2007: No, writing a letter in this situation reveals a weakness. I would not write a letter. Sit tight, and wait for her to contact you. There is nothing more you can do. You cannot force someone to want to be with you, nor would you want to. I suggest ... (read in full...)
I just want my husband back!
Q. I have been married for 18 years. I have two kids and raised my step daughter since age 2. Over the years, I had a great marriage. We always had an exciting sex life and looked forward to those intimate times. My Husband had full custody of his ...
A. 10 August 2007: You want him back, but you let him go. Well, he's had his cake and has been able to eat it too. He left you, and you let him take control of who you are. You enabled that, so if you want him back then you are going to have to undo what you've done. ... (read in full...)
He thinks i played him.
Q. Hi I kissed my ex partners work colleague a while back which i know was wrong as i was with my partner then and he had met a girl that night. He told me she wasnt a patch on me. I am now split with my partner and cant get the guy out of my h...
A. 10 August 2007: You can't expect a man you kiss while your with someone else to trust you. Especially a friend of your x partners. If you want to be with man, find an unattached real man, while you're unattached.... (read in full...)
When he was supposed to move in, he moved on instead and told me to forget about him!
Q. I was with this guy 7 months,it was just sex really in the beginning,then a relationship did form and we got on really well,we was going to move in together but he got cold feet,he has never been married before and is in his 40s.anyway things were ...
A. 9 August 2007: Not all relationships work out. I'm sure you wouldn't want him to be with you and be unhappy. You don't know if he's just dating this someone else or trying for a relationship. You made the decision to call him after you made the decision to split ... (read in full...)
How do I trust women again after I've been cheated on twice?
Q. After my last 2 girlfriends cheated, how can I fully trust women or girls again?...
A. 9 August 2007: You're asking her to respond too much. People generally don't liike other people that are too "needy". Women especially don't like emotionally needy men. Wait for her to contact you back. I eouldn't put too much stock inthis relationship. It ... (read in full...)
How do I trust women again after I've been cheated on twice?
Q. After my last 2 girlfriends cheated, how can I fully trust women or girls again?...
A. 9 August 2007: Why the strange behavoir? Did you ask her. If it repeated itself, then there is probably only one or two major reasons. I would interpret that behavior as she doesn't want to get too close. Meaning she may have loved you or loved being with you for ... (read in full...)
Should I be with him and make all my dreams come true?
Q. okay, so heres the story, this story happends to be like many others but theres a twist. there this guy that i met exactly a year ago today. he happends to be a very famous man, unfourtunantly i can not mention his name because i do not want him ...
A. 9 August 2007: In the record business, they call it chewing you up and spitting you out. If you really feel like he would kick you aside as a friend if you weren't together, then you also know the consequences if you decide to want more or he finds the next best ... (read in full...)
How do I trust women again after I've been cheated on twice?
Q. After my last 2 girlfriends cheated, how can I fully trust women or girls again?...
A. 8 August 2007: I think there are things that you can do to prevent most women from cheating. The first thing you have to do is "Be a Man".... (read in full...)
She's an emotional mess, torn between her boyfriend and I; what should I do?
Q. Hi, all. Just some advice needed before i go crazy. Been involved in an emotional/sexual affair with someone i became friends with at work. She wouldnt get that way involved for months but we did and it was like we were in a bubble - amazing for ...
A. 8 August 2007: Her boyfriend would be fine if they split, that's an excuse. She's staying with him for reason. The reason she's not going to you is obvious. She's not in love with you either. The good news for you is, you can keep this up as long as you want and ... (read in full...)
I don't want my gf to drink b/c my dad used to be an alcoholic. But I don't want to tell her what she can and can't do!
Q. Well my girlfriend and I have been dating now for three months and everything is going really good. This weekend one our friends is having a little get together at her house and they are all going to drink and then spend the night over there. My dad ...
A. 8 August 2007: Yes you would be controlling if you ask her to change her behavior for you. Don't misunderstand, if you tell her somethign you don't like and she changes, that's different. The trap people fall into is that they tell someone how they feel about ... (read in full...)
How can I get my sex drive back? I just can't seem to get in the mood!
Q. I am 23 years old and I am a mother of two children ages 7 and 4 so I have my hands full. Ever since about three months ago, my sex drive has went down a lot. My husband is being patient but it's wearing thin. We haven't done anything in two months ...
A. 8 August 2007: From my relationship experiences, and talking with others, what you are experiencing is normal. With two small children, you are probably worn out at the end of the day. However, 2 months is not normal to go without, so I am going to interject some ... (read in full...)
Why would the guy I like want to see me so suddenly?
Q. Well yesterday the guy I like called me for the first time in like a month and a half..So we were talking and we were both bored becuz it wuz around 11pm..So then he asked me to go to Mcdonalds so I could see him and I told him my parents are not ...
A. 8 August 2007: Because he's a horny boy. Remember in your future this small guiding rule...any call after 10PM at night is a "BOOTY CALL".... (read in full...)
Is it safe to have sex while pregnant?
Q. Hello everyone :) currently i am in my 2 week wait, and yes it is killing me. I have 6 more days to go to see if my period comes. My husband will be back from a business trip on friday, so we would want to have sex, would it be safe for the implated ...
A. 8 August 2007: Sex should be fine unless you've had some complications with previous pregnancies, in which case you might want to talk to your doctor. Husband may even help you get your period started if you're just late.... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old, and dating a 36 year old. What do you think?
Q. I am 20 and the guy I am starting to see is 36. I know how to handle myself as a woman so I'm not worried about getting to attached like most ladies my age... I know I know girls say that all the time but seriously I'm a very mature 20 year old. ...
A. 8 August 2007: I have a niece that has done the same thing, and a sister (15 year younger than their spouses). I assume you are good for each other, otherwise you would be writing about something other than age. The age thing doesn't matter to some, but does ... (read in full...)
Should I be with him and make all my dreams come true?
Q. okay, so heres the story, this story happends to be like many others but theres a twist. there this guy that i met exactly a year ago today. he happends to be a very famous man, unfourtunantly i can not mention his name because i do not want him ...
A. 8 August 2007: Fame and fortune have taken many a man and woman down. Don't trust the fame. Can you trust the person? Since you're underage, and he's 49, I would say you cannot. I don't know the law in your state, but in some states he would be arrested. In my ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to figure out why she wants to meet with me?
Q. It has been close to seven weeks since we broke up (she ended it), and we have talked on instant messenger the past four days (she always initiates contact). On Saturday, she asked me if I wanted to get together for a drink or something in the near ...
A. 8 August 2007: Let me just say first that if the sex wasn't phenomenal, then chances are she's not wanting to get back with you for the sex, unless she hasn't had it in a while, and NEEDS it. The only sure way to determine what it is she wants, is to ask her. If ... (read in full...)
What's the point of remaining in a relationship that is never going to grow into something more?
Q. My story is a little long, my major complaint is I don't believe in MEN anymore, or in my sense of judgement.. My ex boyfriend, I thought he was a real angel but he didn't treat me so great. Like I would always have to be the one to call him and ...
A. 7 August 2007: I would really like to respond and try to help you, but please in one sentence first, what is the main issue that is tearing at your heart? Can we discuss that and then come back to the other issues?... (read in full...)
What should I do? She said she needs time to sort her head out but I haven't heard from her...
Q. What shall I do?? I was with a girl who had just come out of a realtionship then jumped straight in one with me now she's finished with me, saying she needs time to think. Now she doesn't talk to me, doesn't text, doesn't ring or nothing. I know ...
A. 7 August 2007: If you feel like waiting, then wait. If it's been a week I would ring her and ask her if there is a possibility for a you and her. If she's not returned your calls after 7 days(assuming she might possibly have been on holiday) or if she's ... (read in full...)
I'm married but still like this guy from work..do I change jobs?
Q. hi I married but I fear I have fallen in love with a guy who was not married at that time, but is now when he has known it , I need help... I know its too late to do anything all this has been a non verbal communication between us I do not hav...
A. 6 August 2007: There's something your not getting at home that you 're looking to get somewhere else. I suggest you look at what this other man gives you that your hubby doesn't. Talk to your hubby, not about this other guy, but tell him what you're wanting and ... (read in full...)
I finally met my online guy--but he didn't tell me he loved me?
Q. I have been dating this guy for two years now an dhe has been a nice guy so far..Actually we met on the internet...but we are from same country different states.We live far apart.He stays and studies in Europe...but we talk on the internet and on ...
A. 6 August 2007: If he can't say he loves you, then he probably doesn't. Pretty simple. Now the question for you is do you want to waste time with a man that doesn't love you. I wouldn't. There's too many more men in the world, you will be able to find one that ... (read in full...)
He barely talks to me, he smokes pot and would rather be with his friends. Does he not love me anymore?
Q. Me and my boyfriend now have a long distance relationship. Ever since he came and visited me for three weeks, ever since he's gotten back all he does is barely talk to me. He hangs out with friends literally 24/7 and smokes pot all the time now. i ...
A. 6 August 2007: It's time to move on. Love, live life and be happy.... (read in full...)
Should I move on or keep trying?
Q. It will be 6 months since my boyfriend and I seperated after 5 years together. The last 2 years had been complicated as we moved to different ends of the country for work and personal reasons but always with the intention that this arrangement was ...
A. 5 August 2007: If you can't be together, what's the point really. Everyone needs to be loved and feel loved. Why deny him or yourself the opportunity to love, live life and be happy? Let him go, stay in touch if you can as friends, and maybe one day you can be ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure because of his porn habbits and his online buddy. Help!
Q. Ok well I'm very insecure about myself and I'm 17. The other day I found that my boyfriends been watching porn and that really makes me feel bad about myself. I never even look at other boys in 'that way'. When I told him I knew he just denied i...
A. 5 August 2007: You are definately lacking confidence. I suggest doing something for yourself to make you feel better about yourself. A good place to start is exercise. I don't care if you lose any weight at all at first, exercise will just make you feel better ... (read in full...)
No period for 3 months! Am I pregnant?
Q. I haven't had my period for 3 months and i only just lost my virginity a couple of days ago. We had unprotected sex whats the chance of me being pregnant?...
A. 5 August 2007: f you've ever had a period in the past, then you can get pregnant now. You're chances of getting pregnant are 50/50. Don't have unprotected sex until you are ready to have children. Please talk to an adult that you trust about having sex or go to a ... (read in full...)
He blocked my car, threw my purse and phone on the floor and slammed doors... is my fiancee abusive?
Q. Is my fiance abusive? Last night I was cooking fries in a oil pot thing and my friend called to give me directions to her house. So, I had taken half of the fries out, and left the others in but unplugged it. Well my fiance came in livid because the ...
A. 5 August 2007: You both are the problem in how you reacted to your feelings. He's right in his feelings, because you can't really dispute how a person feels, but he's wrong in how he reacted to them. You're probably not making him a priority and if he acts out his ... (read in full...)
How do you cope being apart from your partner?
Q. How do you cope being apart from your partner? Ive started someone who lives a few hours away and I just want to be with him all the time (I know this isnt possible, as we both have jobs) I dont want to scare him off but telling him how I feel, ...
A. 5 August 2007: For me, I stay busy doing other things to keep my self esteem up. For her, I try to do things for her even if she's not here. I try a new recipe, and cook it for her when she comes back. I buy her a nice gift and send it to her. I talk to her on ... (read in full...)
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