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Should I be with him and make all my dreams come true?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 August 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, * writes:

okay, so heres the story, this story happends to be like many others but theres a twist. there this guy that i met exactly a year ago today. he happends to be a very famous man, unfourtunantly i can not mention his name because i do not want him caught up in anything. i am only 17, and this guy is 49 that means he is nearly 33 years older than i am although everyone thinks he is much younger because he looks like hes 25. the problem is he really likes me, hes even said he loves me, hes divorced and has one child who is 4 years older than i am. i think hes very atractive and him being famous is a plus, i just cant imagine me ever dateing a man that much oldr than me. since iv known him he has been working on makeing me famous. he always says he wants to marry me when im 18, and that hes going to make me so famous and shit. i love it and yes i love him but if i were to become involved when the time comes that i want kids and if i am to have kids, when they are my age he will probably be dead. what do i do? should i get involved with this famous man who really can make all my dreams come true? or should i tell him i just want to be friends and watch him move on with his life probably forgetting all about me? yes it is probably selfish but honastly if you had the chance to make a shit ton of money doing what you love every day would you do it even though people might look at you weired because of your spouse? and i know i could easily fall in love with him... i wasnt sure who to turn to, i havent told my mom, so i decided to google it and see if it was wrong to date a way older man. but then i think about huge heff and holly, its not weired in the world of stars. help!

View related questions: divorce, money, move on, older man

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007):

hun just wait it out but please dont marry him and be prepared for disappointment if he's famous that means he will want someone who is a model wife. let me guess you're probably beautiful and he probably suggests you go to massage parlors and beauty salons so you can look your best right... if im wrong go for it hunny if im right just take it easy

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (9 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntIn the record business, they call it chewing you up and spitting you out. If you really feel like he would kick you aside as a friend if you weren't together, then you also know the consequences if you decide to want more or he finds the next best chick. If you want to be temporary, then play it that way. Have some kicks, some laughs, but don't let him too close to your heart. Don't listen to the I wanna be with you, you've touched my heart ... crap. If you use people, then they will use you. You get what you give. Try this, look at yourself in the mirror right in the eyes, and ask what's best for you. You might not like your choice or even yourself, but at least you'll be honest with yourself. You decide what's best for you, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.

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A female reader, ~ United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

~ is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you so much for all your answers, i know i dont want to merry this guy but the fact that i know paris hilton and nicole richie, and i get to go to all the parties with him along with all the other special treatments, its so hard not to use him. i know he really does care for me, im so sure how to explain it to you but he really does, being young is just a plus. we used to be just friends, but then he started to take me with him, next thing i know hes calling me and telling me that he is really starting to like me, hes freaked out by it too, but he cant help his feelings. i know he doesnt want to hurt me either, but if we were to be just friends then i would loose his friendship that we have now because he will soon find a new chic and that girl would get jealous if i were to be calling him or he were to be takeing me with him everywhere...

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

Taylor Chu makes a very good point, but you also have to be cautious that he may want the opposite. What I mean is that if you don't have these life skills, he might be looking for someone he can control.

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A female reader, TaylorChu United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

TaylorChu agony auntYou shouldn't be in this relationship and thats my most honest and blunt opinion. Why, you ask? Older men get tired of immaturity real quick. Immaturity in thinking and in bed. Do you know how to even balance your own check book? How perceptive are you when people are manipulating you? Do you even know if he will ask you for a prenuptial agreement before you actually get married? I do think you are in the relationship for the money and the fame. Honey, they can all be lost in a heart beat. Be in a relationship with someone who you can grow and learn with and someone you love so much that you are willing to die for them. With this older guy he is going to let you be young and free for a few years then he'll get tired of your child like ways and expect you to grow and be a woman. Do things on your own merit. Don't be dependent on HIS fame and fortune to pull you to the top because if he dies or falters then you will land flat on your ass without a clue on what to do nor the cash to cough up to pay for things or your own existence. I am not knocking any talent the good Lord may have blessed you with but it all boils down to why this guy is willing to marry you. Is it for potential, how you make him feel or the thought that he can have young, fresh tail with a newly adult woman? THINK ABOUT IT.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007):

my initial feelings are stay well away it sounds very risky, and you are very young.

If its the fame you want, if you have a talent you will go far anyway, with or without this man.

Regardless of how old he looks, he is 33 years older than you, old enough like you say to be your father. I just get the feeling from what you have written that you are more interested in the money and the fame, than the man for love and a sexual relationship. Be an independant woman and go get it by yourself!

there are lots of famous folk out there whose partners and family ARE NOT famous. whats stopping you from achieving your dream alone, then settling down with a nice man your own age.

I would be very weary if i were you.

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A male reader, somewhat_anonymous United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

I agree with the first post. On top of that if he's friends with you and been working on making you famous, why should that change if you don't have a relationship?

But be honest from the beginning. If he starts making you famous while thinking there's something there that isn't, he might kill your career just as fast once the truth is found. Basically, get it out in the open if it is as serious as it seems. Those fears you posted, you should be telling him that and see what he thinks. And what proof do you really have that he's trying to make you famous? He might just be an older guy that wants a younger girl and have bragging rights for it on top of it all.

And define famous, he's not taking nude pics of you or something is he? Otherwise that's a big red flag.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (8 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntFame and fortune have taken many a man and woman down. Don't trust the fame. Can you trust the person? Since you're underage, and he's 49, I would say you cannot. I don't know the law in your state, but in some states he would be arrested. In my opinion, and since I am 44 years old and have an 18 year old daughter, I think you should be enjoying your last high school years with a strapping young lad, not with some man that is on the downhill side of his life. Do what you feel is right in your heart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007):

In the world of stars there's a LOT of drama; break-ups, infidelity, stress; pressure - you name it.

I don't know if this man you're interested in is an actor, or musician, but be aware that getting involved with him would mean you'd be in for a very rough ride.

Plus, he is SO much older than you, and his interests, lifestyle, are bound to be completely different.

No, don't get involved with him - it will turn out to be much more than you could possibly handle!

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