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Hi, My name is Richard, I'm 44 years old, divorced with 2 adult children (I got started young). I live in Texas, but my fiancee is from Australia. I met her living in the UK.
Who am I? My education, counseling, but most of all, Life Experiences have helped me to develop a mindset that has allowed me to be successful in my personal relationships. |
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Getting over someone who does not love you back.
Q. hey guys i was wondering if u could give me any tips on dealing with or getting over loving someone who u know doesnt love u back, im finding it so hard...
A. 29 July 2007: Is it from a break up or is it a crush? More information is needed.... (read in full...)
I think I'm acting normal, but he thinks I'm cheating!
Q. Am I jealous or is my fiance jealous? My fiance always says that I get jealous. If getting a little angry and annoyed if he checks out and acts differently around attractive blondes is jealous then maybe I am. But isn't he jealous when I go out to a ...
A. 29 July 2007: Have you cheated?... (read in full...)
He can't get an erection so I can't pleasure him like he pleasures me and I don't want him to resent that
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 6 months and we haven't had sex yet. At the beginning of the relationship he had a problem with getting an erection so we decided to leave the sex issue for a while and concentrate on the emotional ...
A. 29 July 2007: There's really no reason for him to be going through this in this century, try cialis or viagra. Only take a half of the pill, a whole one might be too much. I call it a recreational drug, because when you want to have sex for a long time. I mean ... (read in full...)
How do I lower my expectations and be more realistic about life?
Q. My expectations of life have always been quite high, ie I have always assumed things would be perfect and everything would turn out well in the end etc etc. ( like a film) However this has meant that life has let me down a lot. Nothing has ever gone ...
A. 27 July 2007: Anonymous, This is your life! You're contradicting yourself. You're saying this is how life is, but you are expecting something different. Films are just that, films. They're not real. I suggest that you start looking inside yourself for ... (read in full...)
I consider myself heterosexual with strong bi tendencies...
Q. I consider myself heterosexual with strong bi tendencies. My friend Adam is straight to the best of my knowledge, as well. Anyways, we ended up taking E together. First, we ended up making out. By the end of the night, we were naked, in bed, and ...
A. 27 July 2007: You could chalk it up to curiosity, but if you think it's something you want to explore more, then I suggest you do. You may decide your gay for now and go back to heterosexual later. You may decide after a few times that you're okay with both and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch.
Q. My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch. She wants me to go down on her friend while she watches. I don't mind watching another guy going down on my girl but the question I have is should I let one of my friends ...
A. 27 July 2007: What kind of a man would allow his woman to be touched intimately by another man? If she's just a F--k buddy or a friend with benefits that's different. But if you think you love this woman and you have any ego whatsoever, you are not going to like ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her out, only problem is I fear her rejection...
Q. I'm 17 and there is a girl who I like, 2 years younger. My famly don't like her, and I personally used to hate her, and she like wise, yet the other day when I saw her, I just longed for her. We only talked for a minute but we had matured. I want to ...
A. 27 July 2007: You missed a good opportunity, next time you'll know. Think of a time you might run into her again. I don't mean stalk her. BE ready with what you are going to say. Practice in the mirror what she might say to you and visa versa. Do it a couple ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells me to shut up, that only his opinion counts
Q. My boyfriend usually treats me very good, but I feel I am a possession instead of a partner, what can I do? Most times he treats me great but there are times when we are out or something and he gets done with his food or drink and expects me to hu...
A. 26 July 2007: I think most women like a strong confident in control man, but he sounds like he's over the top with control to the point of being abusive. At this age do you think he is going to change? Probably not, then why try. You're choice is simple, deal ... (read in full...)
My best friend/lover and I have a pseudo relationship. I want to make it real, but he doesnt
Q. Hi New Friends! Im desperate for advice...Its a sticky situation with a lot of history, and if you need more info from me before responding, feel free to ask. I have been best friends/lovers with a man on and off for about 17 years. He is the...
A. 26 July 2007: He's playing you. I know someone like him. He has control issues, is very proud, and has been hurt beyond repair. He decided that he would never be hurt again. He cannot love in the true sense, nor be committed to one woman. This is his lifestyle. ... (read in full...)
She does not call me.
Q. I'm not enjoyin my 1yr 5months relationship. Cos she does not call me and show care, and if i complain to her about it she said no call card also threaten not to pick my call if i complian again. I don't know maybe she love me or playin games on me, ...
A. 26 July 2007: Relationships are difficult to begin with, but long distance makes relationships even more difficult. It sounds like she is growing distant. You are not making her life happy, but more difficult. By complaining, she is seeing you as a burden. She ... (read in full...)
Should I send my ex a birthday card?
Q. I split up with my boyfriend 15 months ago. He was the love of my life. We slept together twice after we broke up. He then met someone else in Jan and she moved into his house for four months. They split up after she began going through his ...
A. 26 July 2007: You told him you did not get back together then you could no longer be friends and then contacted him. I don't think you meant what you said, do you? You gave him an ultimatum, and he didn't bite. Now he sees you as desperate to get back with him. ... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 26 July 2007: I sense you are emotional about the situation. Maybe I can help focus on the facts of what specifically is bothering you that is preventing you from saying "this is the girl for me". I understand the comitted relationship vs casual sex part, but you ... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 26 July 2007: So you've said your real issue concerns sex in a comitted relationship vs casual sex. I assume then you are wanting to know if she is done having fun and ready to settle down. ... (read in full...)
Have i done the right thing?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for the last six months on a free relationship basis. Since the beginning he told me he didn't want a serious relationship. I thought I could handle it, but when he didn't call for a week or so and then he suddenly ...
A. 26 July 2007: There's only one way to find out. Call him back if that's what you want. If he'll see you again, then he likes your company, but don't assume it's anything but fun. He said he doesn't want a serious relationship for a reason. Maybe he'll change ... (read in full...)
iI think he is out of my league and i'm scared he will cheat.
Q. I separated from my husband 2 yrs ago after being in a dead realtionship for a number of yrs. Right now I'm saving up to file for divorce, while giving my spouse time to adjust to life without me. Last year I met a wonderful man, a few years older ...
A. 26 July 2007: I don't see how you can expect a man that you are cheating with while you're married won't assume that it's an o.k. thing to do. Enjoy each other, but until you are divorced, I think you're doing one thing and saying another. Never go back to a dead ... (read in full...)
I found out he cheated on me, so now i check his phone and emails.
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for over 3 and half years. i recently found out that he cheated on me in the first year we went out whilst out with friends. i felt really hurt by this and he didnt understand why as it was so long ago. but i feel like i ...
A. 25 July 2007: The decision is yours to make. Chances are that he will cheat again. If you care, then you will have to be aware of what he is doing to be able to spot it the next time. If you can't let it go in your heart, then I suggest moving on. Hard ... (read in full...)
Trust broken again with on-line chat
Q. Trust broken again with on-line chat. My partner of 2.5 years has a problem. He's addicted to the internet, chat rooms, e-mails,etc. I discovered this last year when I found very sexual messages he saved from people he was communicating wi...
A. 25 July 2007: You should have trusted your first instinct. You obviously can't live like this and he's not going to change. You know what you need to do, now just do it. ... (read in full...)
Is he still a virgin if he has only ever had sex with a man?
Q. Well this is not a question about me but it is about a lot of others OK if a gay man has been gay his whole life and never had sex with a woman but a man , technically wouldn't he still be a virgin?...
A. 25 July 2007: Ummm, no. It means he's never been with a woman.... (read in full...)
Topless pic of his ex, on his mobile.
Q. Ive been with my bf for a while now and we are just in the process of buying a house. I have a few trust issues in general with everyone. He has a bit of a past which everyone does but i went through his mobile knowing that he in the past has done ...
A. 25 July 2007: It sounds like he hasn't moved on yet. Ask him when he put the picture on his phone, and when he intends on deleting it. He may have been keeping it for "posterity", but now you've found it. If he doesn't delete it right there in front of you, ... (read in full...)
He keeps lying to me, why?
Q. Me and my boyfriend always fight. He spends all his time at home, with me or at work. But I only get to see him 2 or 3 days a week. He lies a lot. And about stupid things. But not it's getting worse. He's lying to me about giving and getting other ...
A. 25 July 2007: Say goodbye, it sounds like he's playing you, At any rate, you are only in control of yourself and all the unanswered questions and lies will continue. I promise, he won't be changing anytime soon. If you want to continue feeling miserable, then ... (read in full...)
She's got an Std, but isnt going to tell her boyfriend!!
Q. I have a friend who has herpes. She got herpes when she began to have unprotected sex with her fiancee who didn't deem it necessary to tell her that HE had the disease. Needless to say, they are no longer engaged, but she does have this life long...
A. 25 July 2007: Herpes is a viral infection that attaches itself to nerve endings. It should not be taken lightly, especially when intimacy is concerned. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes#Genital_infection
I would be totally pissed off to the extreme if some... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 25 July 2007: You are who you are, you feel what you feel. Why do you want to change who you are for someone else? Do what you think is right for you. I told my fiance that I don't want to know what she did before we were engaged, but she insists on telling me ... (read in full...)
I like one of my best friends who has a girlfriend now; I won't make a move while she's around, so should I just wait and hope?
Q. Hi, My problem is probably quite small and easily solved, but its at the forefront of my mind at the moment. I've recently discovered feelings for one of my best friends and he certainly gives off the impression that they are reciprocated, as...
A. 24 July 2007: Don't be lonely or miserable over it. If you want to wait and see if he breaks it off with her, then wait and don't interfere. I however don't see any harm in telling him that you are interested in him, but if you want a go at a lasting ... (read in full...)
I'm single after 3 years; how can I make sure I don't fall for another cheater next time?
Q. Hi I am planning on going it alone after being in a relationship for over 3 years and I'd like advice please. How do I stop myself falling into the same trap? Last 2 boyfriends cheated as did ex husband. What do I do wrong? This time plan to have ...
A. 24 July 2007: This takes some calculating but if you think you can play ppoker, then you should be able to pull it off. You know when people meet you talk about past relationships. Have him tell you about Why did they break up? Did he love her? Was she there for ... (read in full...)
My married lover's guilt is getting to her; should I try to see her or give her space?
Q. Hi guys, been seeing a married work colleague, whos marriage is seriously not fulfilling for her. Know we both shouldent but fancy each other like crazy. She is suffering with guilty concience and i am too believe it or not and its made us both ill...
A. 24 July 2007: You need to "Be a man", with confidence and strength. By contacting her, you are showing her that you are weak. Not only are you willing to check on her to make sure she's all right, but your willing to do all that even though she's another man's ... (read in full...)
I want to get divorced, but I am terrrified of the wrath of G-d!
Q. I want to end my 25 year marriage because my husband and I have grown apart and there is absolutely no attraction in it for me. But I have tremendous religious guilt and worry incessively that God is going to punish me for doing this horrible ...
A. 24 July 2007: I went through the same struggle after 24 years with the same person. I decided however that I was better off alone than being miserably unhappy every day. I think because you have someone else, that may be why you are feeling guilty. What if you ... (read in full...)
My ex who took my virginity wants to get together
Q. I really need peoples opinions on this, so please help if you can.....i went out for 4 months last year with this guy lets call him A. I was head over heels in love with him, even though we didnt have the greatest relationship, anyway i lost my ...
A. 24 July 2007: You're having these emotions for a reason, don't ignore them. You listened to your gut and you didn't call him too. Good girl. I don't think you have enough information about him to decide wether he's wanting to use you {maybe again}. If you do go ... (read in full...)
My Russian girlfriend is going away on holiday with another guy
Q. Hi, I have a Russian girlfriend who is about to go away on holiday with a male long term friend! Do you think that I should be cool about this? ...
A. 24 July 2007: It's up to you. How do you think you will feel? Will you be for the rest of your relationship wondering if anything happened? Will you hate yourself later for not saying "no way"? It doesn't sound like you think you should be o.k. with it. As a ... (read in full...)
Need some clarification on female orgasms...any advice?
Q. my friend always said her orgasms are much better than mine. i can orgasm by my clit while she can orgasm by squirting-which i guess is every woman (and man's) fantasy and i always believed was the ultimate or best orgasm a female can have. i have ...
A. 24 July 2007: These are general statement based upon my experience through asking women I have been with. Orgasm through"g-spot" or intercoarse is not as intense as orgasm through clitoris stimulation. In some women the location of the clitoris near the vagina ... (read in full...)
He avoids discussing the big issues like having a family; what should I do about his attitude?
Q. Alright. I've had a boyfriend for about 15 months now. He's fabulous; I love him and he says he loves me. He's even proven his love on a few occasions. But then other times, he makes me wonder. (the love aspect of a romantic relationship is ...
A. 22 July 2007: It sounds like you've taken the male role in preparing for your future together. If he doesn't share an interest, then chances are he doesn't have an interest. In this case, I think you will be forever trying to "pull him along". I think he needs ... (read in full...)
I am sooo scared I'm going to lose my boyfriend.
Q. I'm in a bit of a pickle. I am sooo scared I'm going to lose my boyfriend. I stayed at his last night, and we were in bed and he said he loves me more than anything and that he has been in love before but not like this... I'm just so sca...
A. 22 July 2007: I don't see that your in a pickle, that's why I asked. Unless something happened that your not saying or you feel something else your not saying. If you're not, just be yourself. Who else could you be? ... (read in full...)
I am sooo scared I'm going to lose my boyfriend.
Q. I'm in a bit of a pickle. I am sooo scared I'm going to lose my boyfriend. I stayed at his last night, and we were in bed and he said he loves me more than anything and that he has been in love before but not like this... I'm just so sca...
A. 22 July 2007: So what's your pickle?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend no longer seems interested in me; I now have the chance to make a go of it with a new girl. Should I take it?
Q. Hey there, ive been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. Our relationship has been good up until a few months ago where it has seemed she has lost a lot of interest, she saids she still loves me but her actions sometimes show otherwise. She ...
A. 22 July 2007: Trust your gut, and be in control of yourself and your life. If she's showing disinterest, then she is probably disinterested. If there's no commitment, ie. rings, talk of a future, talk of you and her being exclusive, then go out and have fun and ... (read in full...)
Trouble with lasting friendships with girls
Q. i really have a big problem with keeping lasting friendships with girls and later on cant get anyone girl to say yes when i ask for love. what could be my problem...
A. 22 July 2007: Girls like confident men and no drama unless they are the one's providing it. Are you too serious? Are you confident? Are you polite? Do you act immature? Please take a look at my website. You need to provide more detail if you really want an ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want to have sex because it's too "strenuous"!
Q. I'm 24, my husband is 25 and he has told me he does not want sex any more. We've been together 7 years now - married for a year and a half now. I asked him why and he insisted it was "strenuous". Nothing I've tried has managed to get his sex...
A. 22 July 2007: I'm assuming there are some weight issues? If there are, I suggest both of you should hit the gym every other day for a 30 minute aerobic workout. Nutrition plays the primary role in how we feel. Diet and exercise are essential to being healthy. ... (read in full...)
19 and 14 is that ok?
Q. Is it ok for me to date a guy that is 19 and I am 14?. I really like him and don't want to let him go....
A. 22 July 2007: Break it off. I can say why in two words "major drama".... (read in full...)
How can i get my bf to stop being a replacement spouse to his dad?
Q. My boyfriends parents have been split for 10 years and neither have found new partners and live quite isolated lives. My boyfriends Dad insists on hi-jacking my boyfriends time, makes him feel bad if he doesn't stay in and watch football and is a...
A. 22 July 2007: If it is a problem, and he's coming to you to talk to you about it, you can help him by listening. If he's using his dad as an excuse to get out of the house, then that's a different issue all together. Make sure of the facts and see if he is with ... (read in full...)
I'm married, but i'm attracted to one of my college instructors.
Q. Hi, I am a 34 year old college student, I am married with 2 children. I have become seriously attracted to one of my instructors (who is a female). I have never had any feelings for another woman before in my life, but I find myself daydreami...
A. 22 July 2007: Do you want out of your marriage? Are you unhappy? Do you think you will end up divorced after the children leave? Do you want the stigma of being "bi-sexual" if your professor rejects your advances and tells other people? Do you care if your ... (read in full...)
He wants to swing, does he not love me anymore?
Q. My husband said he wants to start swinging, does that mean he does not love me anymore, or is just not satisfied with our sex life. Am i not making him happy anymore? ...
A. 22 July 2007: Eve has some really good ideas if swinging is not an option for you. It sounds like your husband is not happy and wants to F--k around. If he loves you, he couldn't possibly imagine you being with another man without being sick to his stomach. ... (read in full...)
It seem's as though she's changed, shall i get back with her?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago after almost 7 years. We had our share of problems, mostly relating to her insecurity and practical things like where to live, work etc. She constantly needed to feel "accepted" and although I tried to...
A. 22 July 2007: You may have been the reason she couldn't move on. Be happy for her that she's getting fixed. Which I seriously doubt, by the way. It takes a dramatic change (ie.death, birth, religion) for people to change. It sounds like you weren't happy with ... (read in full...)
How do I ask for her phone number without looking stupid?
Q. I’ve been very cool with this girl that works at my job for about almost a year now I met her through a close friend of hers. Nothing sexually we just laugh and talk when I see her working at her shop in the airport. About a week ago my friend came ...
A. 22 July 2007: Above all, be a man and be confident. This is what a woman wants more than anything else. Oh, and ask her for a way you can get in touch with her outside of just running into her. Like if you wanted to get in touch with her to go out for a beer or ... (read in full...)
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