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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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Just wondering if anyone have a different definition of "fiance" other than those who got engaged.
Q. This past weekend, I spend my weekend at my boyfriend's. I had dinner with his family (parents, siblings, cousins). My bf's parents start introducing me to others as my bf's fiance. Me and my boyfriend is really close and we are seriously looking ...
A. 26 February 2007: There is no different definition. What it sounds like to me is that perhaps your boyfriend comes from quite a conservative or religious family and his mother introduced you like this to show that it was okay for you to be physically ... (read in full...)
My friend has just broken up with her boyfriend and I've always been her shoulder to cry on, she's asked me over, how do I know if she likes me?
Q. my very close friend has had a boyfriend for over a year. she's been through rough times and i've always given her a shoulder to cry on and she appreciated it so much. anyway she's just broke up now, and she's been texting me quite a bit, she's ...
A. 26 February 2007: It depends on her motive for asking you round tonight. Is she doing it so you can be her shoulder to cry on or is she doing it so that you can become her rebound guy? Actually forget I asked that question. Even if she wants you to be her rebound guy ... (read in full...)
I got told to back off by this guy, from my own girlfriend!!!!
Q. Hi, This is a strange one. At the weekend i went out with my girlfriend (drinking). She's a smoker and ran out of cig's, She ask some guy for a fag and sat down chatting for 30 mins to this guy while i was playing a game of poker with friends. After ...
A. 26 February 2007: You have to drink one hell of a lot not to remember things the next day. I'm talking alcoholic style drinking, not normal going out with your mates and getting drunk. The point I'm trying to make is not that your girlfriend is an alcoholic but that ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my boss!!! Should I quit my job!?
Q. during last year school term break,i got a job at this food and beverage place.everything was normal.till three weeks ago,i started to develop feelings for my boss.he is plump and 29.totally not my type.suddenly it hit me that im in love with him.he ...
A. 26 February 2007: You don't need to quit your job if you can see this relationship for what it really is, just a crush. When we meet an older man who has responsibility and power it's natural for that to develop into a flicker of attraction but this guy is married ... (read in full...)
I got told to back off by this guy, from my own girlfriend!!!!
Q. Hi, This is a strange one. At the weekend i went out with my girlfriend (drinking). She's a smoker and ran out of cig's, She ask some guy for a fag and sat down chatting for 30 mins to this guy while i was playing a game of poker with friends. After ...
A. 26 February 2007: There are two options here. Possibly your girlfriend was into this guy and told him you weren't her boyfriend so it looked like you were a crazy random stalker when you kept approaching her or perhaps he just wanted to warn you off because he's ... (read in full...)
He married and he wants me! Do I upset my parents by being with him?
Q. Hi All, I'm in love with a colleague. He is damn cute, a perfect gentleman, 12 years older to me, is in an unhappy marriage and has a 2 year old son. We're not even of the same religion. In the begining, we just used to talk alot, mos...
A. 26 February 2007: I'm torn. On one hand I think stuff your parents, that your happiness is the most important thing and that if this guy makes you happy then you should go for it and they'll come to terms with it in time. Then the other part of my brain is screaming ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she wants to take things slow, seems like she's stressed out, any thoughts?
Q. dear cupid me and my girlfriend just broken up and well she says that it was too soon to start going out, and wut ever, and now she tells me that we need to be friends and take it slow, but check this out we both still wana have a relationship but...
A. 26 February 2007: Trying to get into college is the most stressful time in your life. The best thing you can do is try to be considerate of that. If she's stressed with all the study etc why not make her a nice dinner or run her a hot bath or give her a relaxing ... (read in full...)
I really thought there was a connection between us but she hasn't answered my text. Why?
Q. Hi friends, please help I could really do with some advice, from anyone!! I met this girl called K 2 weeks ago at a geography open day at Exeter university, whilst waiting in the lounge and being put into groups, i turned and spotted K amongs...
A. 26 February 2007: It's so hard to judge on one day if you have a connection with someone or not. It sounds from what your friend says like she has no experience with guys. That'll just make it much harder for her to emotionally commit, especially with a guy she ... (read in full...)
He hates me talking to others on MSN. Why should I cut off all my friends for him? I'm not doing anything wrong.
Q. hey my bf hates me tkin 2 otha ppl on msn, myspace or bebo etc, i dnt see the problem with it, but he has a big stress about it. we agreed a couple of months ago that we should only tlk 2 each other but i found out he tlked 2others so i started ...
A. 25 February 2007: DO NOT cut off your friends for any guy, even the one you end up marrying. Your friends can be there for you in a way no man ever can and you need to keep that in mind. This guy has no right to control you the way he does. The reason he's doing it ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he leans on me too much.
Q. I and my boyfriend seem to be having the same argument over and over. I'm still young, but I've had enough relationships to realise that this one means a great deal to me, and I am determined to make it work. My boyfriend has been through a lot over ...
A. 25 February 2007: It's only natural that given his experiences your boyfriend leans on you. The thing is, you're 16 and you're not at the right stage in your life to be so there for someone. That's not meant as a criticism, just an observation that at your age, ... (read in full...)
Any tips on taking this relationship further or just staying away from this guy?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 18months on an ad hoc basis and to be honest, when we see each other its always for kinky sex. I've tried dating other guys but they just don't compare to him and always keep being drawn back to him. Now I'm not na...
A. 25 February 2007: Honestly you sound confused. You say you want to take the relationship further but think the best advice we could give you is how to stay away from him. This is a totally natural way to feel in this situation but makes it a little difficult from our ... (read in full...)
Can I pluck the hairs from his mole or would this be dangerous?
Q. My bf has a mole on his back that has ugly hairs sprouting outta it. For anyone who has a mole or is in a similar situation could u tell me is it possible to pluck the hairs out or is this painful and dangerous?...
A. 25 February 2007: It's totally fine to pluck hairs from moles. The above reader said there was the chance of bleeding and theyre right but as long as you're careful bleeding would be minimum. It doesn't hurt but you have to remember that since your boyfriend is a ... (read in full...)
I keep dreaming I'm sleeping or massaging men (I'm male but NOT gay) why do I keep dreaming of men?
Q. i am sorry if i offends eny one but it has been bugging me for years since i was in secondary school i have had dreams about men not having sex with them but holding hands kissing and this one when i was in bed and he was hugging me i thought that ...
A. 25 February 2007: I've had dreams about men, dreams about women, dreams about animals that talk to me (not that I have sex dreams about those!) The point I'm trying to make is that dreams are meaningless. Yes there are people who can read into dreams and say that ... (read in full...)
I think my friends are being really selfish here but they say I'm the selfish one!
Q. So once upon a time, I was head over heels in love with this guy named Danny. Then all of a sudden, his parents received new job offers, and he ended up moving to England (I'm in Florida, USA). I was heartbroken. It's been 1.5 years since we'v...
A. 25 February 2007: I don't think you or your friends are being selfish. Your friends are disappointed that post prom isn't going to be exactly how you've all planned it for all these years and you're disappointed that your friends don't understand how important ... (read in full...)
Sacred I am going to push this perfect man out of my life..what can I do?
Q. I have found a new man and he is perfect he gets on great with my kids, he tells me he loves me after 2 weeks being together my heart tells me he is the one but my head is telling me different, i have been hurt very badly in the past and i don't ...
A. 25 February 2007: I think instinct is very important when you first meet someone. I'm just not sure from your post what your instinct is. You call him perfect. Was that your first impression or one you've come to think of? Equally was your first impression that there ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and want to move in with my boyfriend but my mum won't let me.
Q. I'm 16 and want to move out with my boyfriend he has his own place, but my mum wont let me move out. If i go is there anything legal she can do about it if i just go? I really don't no what to do. Please help!...
A. 24 February 2007: Unfortunately yes. You can only live alone before 18 with your parent's permission. I know it probably doesn't seem like it but I bet your mum is only doing this because she cares about you so try and cut her some slack and compromise. Tell her ... (read in full...)
What do I do with these feelings? Is this love?
Q. I have had a crush on this boy since the 6th and 7th grade. At the end of the 7th grade I moved out of his district. Its been five years since I have seen him and a lot has change. I still think about him(not like crazy but off and on). I was almost ...
A. 24 February 2007: There is nothing like that first crush. We never fully shake it off but it sounds like it's time to. You haven't seen this guy in such a long time and hanging onto the dream is stopping you from living in the present and enjoying your life the way ... (read in full...)
How do I meet Mr Right? Where am I going wrong here?
Q. I'm desparate to meet Mr Right. I keep going to bars and clubs and am so desparate for people to fall for me that i always end up drinking too much and having sex with whoever i meet in the belief that they will want to continue seeing me. Guess ...
A. 24 February 2007: Two words from your post jump out at me- desperate. Trust me, guys can smell desperation from a million miles off. I have the same problem as you. It goes so long without having a relationship that I can't get the thought out of my mind and the more ... (read in full...)
When I'm kissing him, what can I do with my hands???
Q. hi i havnt been kissing lads long and i don't really no what to do with my hands whn me and m bf are french kissing and stuff they usually just run through his hair but i wanna do sumthin more sumthin a little different whn he kisses me he runs his ...
A. 24 February 2007: Hm, you could try resting your palms on his lower back or perhaps placing your palms against his shoulder blades with your elbows pointing down because this way you get the closeness of pulling each other together without having to touch his bum.
... (read in full...)
How do I entice my old lover back again?
Q. What advice do you give to women, who runs into a old lover and wants to get back with him? How do we do it? Flirting, dressing sexy, setting up an accidental meeting, etc?...
A. 24 February 2007: This is dependent on so many factors. In a way I am inclined to agree with the other advice person that no ex is worth going back to but I think that depends a lot on individual circumstances. What I would say is to beware about going back to an ex. ... (read in full...)
How do I get his trust back again?
Q. I used to lie to my boyfriend a lot so he cant really trust me when i tell him something. How do i get his trust back?...
A. 24 February 2007: Trust isn't something that can be magically repaired in a day but the fact that he's still with you despite the lies shows he still has feelings for you. Tell him you're going to prove to him that he can trust you and then spend every moment of your ... (read in full...)
I don't seem to be attracted to males or females. Is this normal?
Q. please help, i am a 17 yr old 'straight' girl. i do go out with boys but never find myself attracted to any of them. i thought about if i could be a lesbian but i am not attracted to girls either....it appears i am not particuarly attracted to ...
A. 24 February 2007: This is COMPLETELY normal. You know the girls in your school who started dating when they were 11? Do you think they were attracted to their boyfriends or just pretending? In my experience you never really feel real attraction towards someone until ... (read in full...)
Did our play fighting actually turn him on? Any advice?
Q. hi im 16. me and my bf have been 2gether For 2 months and he has never tried anything with me or anything cos he's not like that. he's really nice! :D all we have done so far is kiss (without tongues) and hug. he came round my house 2day and we w...
A. 24 February 2007: Well.... he's a 16 year old boy. I'm fairly sure that however innocent your relationship is, you saying hello is enough to turn him on. However, I think maybe you're reading too much into your game. Sounds like an unthinking gesture that had the ... (read in full...)
What do I do to work out how I feel and about who?
Q. Im 19 and recently I kissed a guy when I was very drunk and came out to a lot of people as gay, the thing is I dont think I am gay and have corrected many of these people, I admit im probably bisexual but I dont know how I truely feel about anything ...
A. 24 February 2007: It's okay to feel confused about your sexuality, especially when you're still young. I advise you to take some time out from thinking about or dating any men or women until it becomes clear what you want. If you're out every week kissing guys and ... (read in full...)
My Mom has threatened to send me away if I skip any more school. I did it again and I'm scared! What should I do?
Q. Please help me! I'm only 16 and my parents might send me to a home! I can't stand my mom...she drives me nuts and I can't even stand to be AROUND her! She just annoys the hell out of me and now she wants to send me to a home because she "can...
A. 24 February 2007: The teenage years are difficult between any mother and daughter but especially when the mother takes out all their unhappiness about their own life on you. Trust me, similar experiences. I'll never be thin enough or intelligent enough or good enough ... (read in full...)
I'm having horrible thoughts that my girlfriend is going to leave me for another person.How do I deal with this?
Q. Hey, i have these horrible thoughts that my girlfriend is going to leave me for another person. She tells me she loves me and will never leave me, but the thoughts keep coming back. I'm really worried....
A. 22 February 2007: Your girl can't promise you she will never leave you, even more than you can promise her the same. You're both so young. How many couples do you know that met at your age and are still together? Yes it happens for some people but not many. You could ... (read in full...)
Please can anyone give me some good flirting advice?
Q. even if i flirt with guys, they dont seem to ask me out. and all my friends can. i dont seem to have anything wrong with me so whats the problem? please give me some good flirting advice!!...
A. 22 February 2007: Flirting is individual to every person. Nobody does it quite the same. You're so young that it's common at your age that some people in the group get all the guys while other people aren't so noticed. The important thing is not to let it get you ... (read in full...)
My crush had a gf, so I moved on. Now he's single and I've got someone!
Q. I have a crush on this guy who i met in college, ive liked him since i started. But the problem was he had a girlfriend. So I decided to move on and found somebody. Even tho the relationship isnt good, i still have feelings for my crush and recently ...
A. 22 February 2007: Let me ask you this... If your crush was still with someone, would you be happy with your current boyfriend or just with him because you couldn't have the guy you really wanted. If it's the former I advise you to stick with your boyfriend. There ... (read in full...)
How can I put our past behind us and concentrate on making this work?
Q. My boyfriend lied to me about a few things. I gave him another chance and he has been proving to me how much he loves me and wants to be with me. At times though, when I think about all the lies he has told me, I get so upset and I fight with him ...
A. 22 February 2007: I think it takes tremendous strength and courage to even try and trust someone who has hurt us. The thing is, it sounds like your trust is failing and without trust there's not much grounds for continuing a relationship because neither of you can be ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get a guy that's taken?
Q. hey! what can i do to get a guy that's taken? I mean dont get me wrong. I would never want to see someone hurt but actually they dont love eachother and she treats him very badly. he told me he likes me. but i know hes stil doubting it. what can i ...
A. 21 February 2007: My first question is how you know they don't love each other and that she treats him badly. My guess is that he told you that hm? If so how very convenient. He wants you to feel sorry for him so that he can have his way with you. Any relationship ... (read in full...)
I am going to court soon for a rape assault on me. I am really scared, how do I cope?
Q. I am going to court for a rape assualt on me and i am really scared i need some advice because i feel like i want to run away or take an overdose becuase i would rather do this and wake up in hospital than going to court. i need advice n how to cope ...
A. 21 February 2007: Talk to whoever is representing you. Because you're a minor you can almost certainly give your evidence via a video link but only your lawyer can sort that out for you. It will make it much easier for you if you can do this. In the meantime get some ... (read in full...)
Today, I threw up... is this a sign of pregnancy? Could I be pregnant?!!???$!
Q. My boyfriend and i were fooling around the other day and i made him cum, a few hours later we had protected sex (used a condom) it did NOT break and everything was fine, he didnt cum inside of me. Its now 4 days later and i just got my period this ...
A. 21 February 2007: Take a test just to be sure. It's almost definitely nothing but sometimes when ur pregnant you have a light bleed at the beginning which people mistake for a period even though it's actually not.
CD... (read in full...)
Every time I think I'm ready to cum I find I need the loo, I would die of humiliation if I wee'd instead. Help!
Q. I cant cum. I dont know why but when i have sex with my boyfriend and i feel like im about to cum i just keep thinking i need the toilet, it feels as though i need a wee and ive learnt to hold back and not cum, now i dont know how to because i would ...
A. 21 February 2007: Sometimes being incredibly turned on can feel like you need to wee but I'm sure you wouldn't. Go to the loo before you have sex so you can relax and then let go. Honestly, I'm sure you'd find you don't even need the loo about five minutes after ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man and I know it's going nowhere, so why can I not say goodbye?
Q. I have been having an affair with a married man for three years and i know it is not going anywhere.So why have i not got the courage to say goodbye? As i know it,s what i need to do before someone gets really hurt...
A. 21 February 2007: It's hard to say goodbye to anyone who makes us feel wanted and loved, even though you know you're second best. In your position I think I would focus on his wife and how much it would hurt her to know what's going on and use that as your motivation ... (read in full...)
What is the normal amount of time to spend together in a very committed relationship?
Q. I've been dating a great guy for 7 months. We enjoy doing everything together, and became emotionally connected many months ago. We are comfortable with each other in every way (especially the bedroom!) and love each other. We live approximately ...
A. 21 February 2007: I think your boyfriend is doing the right thing. From observing happy couples as a young person, the most successful ones are the ones who recognise the importance of time apart to chill or to follow their own hobbies and interests. You'll always ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him or do I tell him that nothing can ever happen? I still love him, but I'm confused!
Q. My boyfriend split up with me 2 months ago after two and a half years. we have just got back in touch and he says he misses me but doesn't want to settle down at the moment. we are both young but i think it's as though he wants me to wait, he said ...
A. 21 February 2007: It seems like you could wait forever for this guy. I have only one question for you. what does your gut tell you? In these situations I've found it's always best to rely on your gut instinct rather than other peoples' advice because then you're more ... (read in full...)
Will my gynecologist know I'm not a virgin? I don't want my mom to know! Is there doctor/patient confidentiality between us at my age??
Q. I am 17 and I have scheduled my first appointment with a gynecologist because of my menstural cramps. I am worried, though, because I have recently lost my virginity, and I am sure the doctor will know. Mostly, I'm concerned that my mother will ...
A. 21 February 2007: Any information about your health must be kept confidential regardless of your age, although some doctors are able to intervene in certain situations before you turn 16 and involve your parents. Just so you know though, he/she might ask you if ... (read in full...)
I was molested and b/c of it have a hard time dating. I've broken it off w/ a guy b/c I was scared of getting too sexually involved! What should I do?
Q. so i have relationship issues. i was molested when i was 6-7 years old and its hard in relationships because of it. i never told my exboyfriend even tho we didnt date long. i broke up with him cause i was afraid that we'd get too sexually involved ...
A. 21 February 2007: Did you get any counselling after your experience? If not I would see your doctor asap to arrange some. You're better off waiting until you're 16 before you have sex. So many girls in your position confuse sex and love because of their earlier ... (read in full...)
I dumped him b/c I was told he was cheating on me! He wasn't and now he won't get back w/ me. How can I get him back?
Q. i dumped my boyfriend a week ago because his mates were saying he was 2 timing me. i didnt belive them as he told me he wasn't and i knew he wasn't anyway. now i feel really bad and want him back so i asked him out again but he said no and now i re...
A. 21 February 2007: He's really hurt right now that you would take someone else's word over him and believe he could do something so horrible in the first place. If he won't speak to you write him a letter saying how much you regret what happened and you hope he can ... (read in full...)
My ex and her new bf are always kissing in my face! What do I do??
Q. ok so, my Ex girl-friend has a new lad. They're always kissing etc. which sounds ok, but they always do it in my face. What do I do? any ideas?...
A. 21 February 2007: You really reckon she's doing it for that reason? Sounds like an awful lot of hassle just to make you feel bad. Just walk away from her if she's being a baby about things. Show you're too mature for her.
CD... (read in full...)
My ex and her new bf are always kissing in my face! What do I do??
Q. ok so, my Ex girl-friend has a new lad. They're always kissing etc. which sounds ok, but they always do it in my face. What do I do? any ideas?...
A. 21 February 2007: I don't think she'd be doing this deliberately. Tell her it bothers you and maybe she'll stop.
CD... (read in full...)
Today, I threw up... is this a sign of pregnancy? Could I be pregnant?!!???$!
Q. My boyfriend and i were fooling around the other day and i made him cum, a few hours later we had protected sex (used a condom) it did NOT break and everything was fine, he didnt cum inside of me. Its now 4 days later and i just got my period this ...
A. 21 February 2007: It depends whats normal to you. Some people have a brownish bleed. For other people it's bright red. If it's always brown don't worry. The main thing you need to look for in this situation is whether it was heavier or lighter than normal and check ... (read in full...)
Today, I threw up... is this a sign of pregnancy? Could I be pregnant?!!???$!
Q. My boyfriend and i were fooling around the other day and i made him cum, a few hours later we had protected sex (used a condom) it did NOT break and everything was fine, he didnt cum inside of me. Its now 4 days later and i just got my period this ...
A. 20 February 2007: Some people do get nausea and vomiting with their periods but that tends to be girls a lot younger than you who have just started their periods and whose bodies are adjusting to the fluctuating hormone levels. The truth is that if you've had a ... (read in full...)
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