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What do I do with these feelings? Is this love?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have had a crush on this boy since the 6th and 7th grade. At the end of the 7th grade I moved out of his district. Its been five years since I have seen him and a lot has change. I still think about him(not like crazy but off and on). I was almost in a relationship with an another boy but I called it quits before it got serious. Everytime I go out I hope to see him. I live across town and we attend different school. I don't know anything about him but his name, the name of his school, and his height (I googled him Do that make me a stalker?).

Anyway I need to know what to do with these feelings so I can move on with my life. Is this love? Do I need to confront him? I can because my cousin go to his school so if I need to I can. We have similarities I smart with a 3.89 GPA on a 4.0 scale and he has a 4.94 on a 5.0 scale. I will admit there are some difference he is 6'3" and I am 5'4". He is the star of the basketball team( this is not why I love him I mean like him). I like him when he was a pale white boy dressing in timbaland and wearing baggy pants. Whoa where did that come from. Anyway the biggest differences is the fact that he is white and I am black. I don't think that my parents(my mother) would approve of me dating a white boy. Prom is coming up and I would love for him to be my prom date but I am ready to accept the fact that we may never be together. I just don't want to get 10 years down the road and meet him again and fall in love all over again but find out he is married or if I am married and regret never saying anything. I just feel like if we were to have 30 seconds alone in a dark we would connect on many levels(not sexually). I just need to know am I crazy for crushing on a guy for 7 years when I haven't seen him in 5 years and a white guy at that. Just so you know he is athletic build and I have let myself go enough said. I need to know what to do. WHAT DO I DO? P.S. we do live in S.C. where they still hang the confederate flag with pride and there is still racism.

Girl with a yearning heartJust to clarify (I'm not stalking you)

I am 18 and I don't know how old he is. I am a high school senior and he is too. I see that you haven't reply in a while but I just need a opinion of a person not involved. Family and friends don't help.

View related questions: cousin, crush, move on, moved out, stalking

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your advice and this is just an update and not another issue. I found a more indirect way to cure my curiosity I Myspace him. I found out that he has a girlfriend named Monique and yes she is black. He said that he loved her on his myspace page so it sounds serious. I don't wish bad on anyone so I not wishing for them to breakup. I will do the noble thing by moving on with my life and stepping away from the situation. I just feel like I am running away from my feelings and that is the last thing I want to do. But he has a girlfriend that he loves and basketball season is over so there is no other way to get in contact with him. To make it even worst these feelings have yet to cease(even with prayer they are still here). I know it is wrong for me to hope but I can't help the way I feel so is it wrong of me to move on with my life even though I'm still here wishing I was in Monique's(his girlfriend)shoes, in his arms, in his heart and not her. I need advice on how to get rid of these feelings. Please don't suggest another boy because I have tried that and it only got me more awkward feelings and less friends. If you have a myspace account and wish to see what I am talking about his page is www.myspace.com/srw24.

I am tired of putting my life on whole. My friends and family are starting to notice something is different because it shows all over my face. My friends are always asking what’s wrong and they say that I look so sad. I have had many crushes in my life and I have seem to let all of them go and put them behind me except this one. Why? Why him? He is the only one that has ever made me cry(when the realization set in that we will never be together). I am tried feeling like some psycho woman with a crazy obsession. I don't know what I want but I do know I want peace.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

i see well I definatly think it is true love. If you have any other friends at the other school see if they can hook you up. Bye the way I have HUGE crush in a biy and i googled him too so dont feel like your the only one.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntThere is nothing like that first crush. We never fully shake it off but it sounds like it's time to. You haven't seen this guy in such a long time and hanging onto the dream is stopping you from living in the present and enjoying your life the way you should be.

CD

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