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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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How do I deal with him wanting more and 'casual time'?
Q. Can I work through him falling out of love with his wife and turning our friendship into something more? We have been friends for 1.5 years. He has been miserable with his marriage (he has no kids with her but she has kids from a previous relation...
A. 11 March 2007: What I would do is try and put yourself in his wife's position just for a second. How would you feel if your husband was having casual time with another woman even if there was nothing sexual about it? I think you need to stick to your guns about ... (read in full...)
She has broken up with me because I am not a Christian!
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend of 4 years. We have been very happy together these 4 years. My girlfriend is a very staunch christian. While i am not. Right now, my girlfriend has initiated a breakup with me..Out of nowhere.. The reason...
A. 11 March 2007: It seems like quite a shallow reason to break up with someone quite frankly. You can be very happy with someone regardless of their beliefs but to be honest it sounds here like she's using this as an excuse to cover the real reasons. If she's ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this hell while avoiding a big mistake?
Q. Hi, please can someone help as I am going crazy! Been seeing a girl for almost 3 years. We've recently bought a house togther and I am so confused as I don't think I love her anymore. I'm scared to let it go on any further but scared to stop it ...
A. 11 March 2007: It seems time is of the essence here. You might be scared of the legal issues but the question is do they scare you more than spending the rest of your life with someone you're not in love with. Equally doesn't it worry you that hurting her isn't ... (read in full...)
Did he leave his cell in his truck to make me feel more important or to hide something from me???
Q. my boyfriend ALWAYS has is cellphone with him...a few days ago he cheated on me, i found out by looking thru his phone when he was asleep because i had a severe gut feeling...and confronted him, he admitted it and were trying to work things out ...
A. 11 March 2007: I think it's a third option, that he doesn't trust you with his phone so he's trying to keep it away from you. That doesn't mean he necessarily has anything to hide, just that he doesn't want you looking through what he considers to be his private ... (read in full...)
I'm assured she likes me but terrified to ask her out in case I fall flat on my face and ruin everything?
Q. I really like this girl, and I think she really likes me. I am in a few classes with her, and I talk to her whenever I can in those classes. She always laughs and smiles whenever she is around me, and my best friend says she looks at me when I get ...
A. 11 March 2007: I think it's fairly certain that she likes you and I don't know where you've got this complex about it ruining your relationship from. Just ask her if she wants to go to the cinema one night. If she says no just accept it and if she says yes play it ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to see what's inside his account?
Q. were just new in our relationship as bf/gf, its for about 5months..i do have a friendster account just recently and come across with my bf account but its restricted for friends user only, i did tell him bout it but didnt insist of anything else for ...
A. 11 March 2007: I'm not familiar with friendster but I use facebook and would assume it's the same principle. Now that you're his girlfriend why don't you just request to be added as his friend on there and then you will be able to see his site. However if he ... (read in full...)
I think I just told my mate's boyfriend something I shouldn't have! Should I have kept my mouth shut?
Q. omg i just told my mates boyfriend ( who's also my mate) that last night she went on msn and watched some 20 year old wank on webcam . do you think i did the rite thing , they might not break up over it , but it is possible ! x x ...
A. 11 March 2007: I'm not sure why you would possibly think this was a good idea unless you're trying to break up your friend and her boyfriend so you can have him for yourself. The most important thing about friendship is loyalty and keeping each others' secrets and ... (read in full...)
Been with him 5 years and I'm feeling he doesn't love me as much anymore. Any advice?
Q. Been with my partner for 5 years nearly. It's been a rocky ride as this is 2nd time round for both of us, I have 3 kids and him 1. His ex was his first love and she had messed him around a few times yet he never gave up, It was only when she said ...
A. 11 March 2007: I'm sure you do have much more but let's just start off dealing with the ones you mention and feel free to message me other examples if you want me to give you an opinion on them.
First of all you seemed concerned that he was living in the hous... (read in full...)
We are soulmates! Is it wrong to have these feelings for someone else, yet still be in love with our spouses as well?
Q. "I found my soul mate 3 years ago,but were both married" Hi everyone,I'm just new to this forum,I was so surprised to read a forum letter and its replies about soulmates, I was never looking or in search for my soulmate, but our lives crossed 3 ...
A. 11 March 2007: It depends what you're doing when you meet. If you're engaging in any form of sexual activity then you're cheating on your spouses and that would be wrong but if you're meeting up just to talk that would be okay.
I think people often get the wron... (read in full...)
Who do I choose? The guy who treats me like a queen or the one I love deeply?
Q. WHAT SHOULD I SETTLE FOR, TREATMENT OR FEELINGS? I have to choose between two guys,there is one i love most and another who treats me like a QUEEN. Guy1 treats me well he gives me everything but i just dont feel for him that much but i am afraid ...
A. 11 March 2007: Love will always win through over genuine admiration and feelings of friendship for a guy but be careful. The guy you say you love sounds like he could be trouble. He says he wants you back. Does that mean he's finished with his girlfriend? Never ... (read in full...)
We met online but she is 22 years older than me (40) do you think this relationship could work?
Q. Hi Im 18 and recently went on a few dates with a 40 year old women, after meating her online, i think it went really well, but do you think we will get a lot o trouble becuase of the 22year age gap? And is anyone else in a similar situation. ...
A. 10 March 2007: It depends what you both want from a relationship. That's the one thing that could tear you apart because of the age difference. Because she's older she'll be wanting something stable, something lasting and more than likely no more kids. What do you ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's possible for someone to learn to find someone attractive?
Q. Do you think its possible for someone to learn to find someone attractive? I work with this guy who I really like personality wise but im just not physically attracted to him. The other day he told me he fancies me like crazy but I didnt know what ...
A. 10 March 2007: I really do think you find someone more attractive over time but I've never heard anyone else say this. When I was 17 I was totally head over heels in love with my best friend but I did not find him attractive in the least bit but the more time went ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms?
Q. Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms? We've been together for three years and hes cheated on me before, we split recently for 2 months, and I think he slept with other women although he wouldn't ...
A. 10 March 2007: Nope, on the contrary you're very sensible to do this! Asking someone to get an STD test isn't accusing them of being dirty, it's asking them to prove that they're clean which is a totally different thing. Stick to your guns on this one. He might ... (read in full...)
I feel I owe it to her to tell her why her Dad abandoned her. SHould I or shouldn't I?
Q. Hi, I'll try to make this as short and painless as possible :) When I was 13, my stepfather (James) kissed me. He later apologized and said he was drunk, so I believed him. A few months later, he tried to have sex with me. That scared me, I tol...
A. 10 March 2007: I would ask your mum before you say anything to anyone else. After all Crystal is your mum's daughter and she might not want her to know. Even though Crystal has no relationship with her Dad right now it might not be that way forever.One day they ... (read in full...)
Please help me, I need to get in shape for the summer!
Q. dear cupid i am fat and can not lose weight, i have lost a bit and when ever i sit down my stomach is full of flabs and ive been dieting for nearly 3 years and still haven't lost anything, excercising sit-ups u name it i tried them, but i stil...
A. 10 March 2007: You've probably faffed up your metabolism. Skipping meals is as bad as eating 4000 calories a day because your body goes into starvation mode and stores everything you do eat as fat so your muscle gets digested but your fat increases.
Me saying that... (read in full...)
His mates have put a bet on with him as to whether I'll have sex with him or not!
Q. Im 15, 16 in december. My boyfriend is nearly 17. We really like each other and i dont think i have ever felt like this with a guy before. We are very open with each other and are both virgins.I was thinking about losing my virginity to him once we ...
A. 9 March 2007: Well you can't exactly berate him for telling his mates. I'm fairly sure you'd mention it to a couple of yours too. It's just tht when a guy has sex at ur age he becomes known as a stud whereas the girl becomes known as a slut. Double standards? ... (read in full...)
Please help me, I need to get in shape for the summer!
Q. dear cupid i am fat and can not lose weight, i have lost a bit and when ever i sit down my stomach is full of flabs and ive been dieting for nearly 3 years and still haven't lost anything, excercising sit-ups u name it i tried them, but i stil...
A. 9 March 2007: Tablets are a really bad idea. The way they work is to make you lose all your water weight through regular trips to the toilet and chronic diarrhoea and because you lose it so fast it's easy to pile it back on. Go and see your doctor and ask for a ... (read in full...)
How can I make her orgasm easily?
Q. It seems like my girlfriend cannot orgasm at all. During sex or when i give her oral sex her legs shake she says it is "too much" and "too sensitive" after a while. Because of this, we have to stop. We have had sex and oral sex at least a hundred ...
A. 9 March 2007: It sounds like she's making you stop before she can come. It being too much and too sensitive sound like classic signs of the build up to an orgasm. That said, I can't understand why she's making you stop at that point. If you're feeling insecure ... (read in full...)
His mates have put a bet on with him as to whether I'll have sex with him or not!
Q. Im 15, 16 in december. My boyfriend is nearly 17. We really like each other and i dont think i have ever felt like this with a guy before. We are very open with each other and are both virgins.I was thinking about losing my virginity to him once we ...
A. 9 March 2007: If you sleep with him before you turn 16 you're breaking the law. I advise you to wait only because he and his friends sound pretty immature and I think you should give it some time to see how you feel in a few months about things. As for the bet ... (read in full...)
She still wants to be friends but still wants to be single... how do I cope with this?
Q. my x girlfriend says she still has feelings for me but wants to be single i told her i couldnt be her friend ave invited her to mine on tue should i tell her that i want her back at the risk of her saying no she still wants to be single but she ...
A. 9 March 2007: She's told you she wants to be single and I doubt her feelings will have changed since the last time she said it. The pressure will probably just drive her further away. Therefore the decision is yours? Would you change your mind and stay friends ... (read in full...)
I want more than just friendship with her, how can I tell her this?
Q. I think im in love with my best friend. We've been friends sice probably infants school and are now both in year 11 at school. I'm 16 shes 15. I first startd having feelings for her back in juniors but it was more of justr wanting to be with her all ...
A. 9 March 2007: Yes be straightforward. Just tell her you've realised you like her as more thn a friend and see what she says.
CD... (read in full...)
Do you think that men and women can be just "good friends"?
Q. My male friend and I hit it off immediately when we met through friends a couple of years ago. Since then we have become really good friends. We're constantly laughing, we're one of the first people we tell everything to, we confide in each other ...
A. 9 March 2007: I definitely think men and women can be just good friends. My best friend is a guy. However there was once an element of unacted upon sexual tension between us which may have cemented our friendship a little. However if you're comfortable with him ... (read in full...)
Why do I cum and orgasm straight away when I'm on top?
Q. Why do i cum and orgasm straight away when i am on top of my boyfriend but it takes ages when i'm not on top? any ideas why?...
A. 9 March 2007: Some positions just do things for girls. Other girls would tell you they can't come at all on top. It just depends on your body and your preferences!
CD... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?
Q. Why does my boyfried suddenly want me to make the first moves before we can have sex?...
A. 9 March 2007: He probably wants to be sure you really want it. Guys have to be so careful because sometimes a girl changes her mind part way through and then he can be accused of all sorts. Also is it possible that your boyfriend is a virgin and doesn't exactly ... (read in full...)
How often do women think of their past sexual partners?
Q. I have general questions for women. How often do women think of their past sexual partners? I'm curious because my girlfriend seems to bring up(in converstaion) people she has slept with at random moments. ...
A. 8 March 2007: In my experience people tend to talk about their exes when theyre nervous or need reassurance. I think about my exes very occassionally and even less when I'm with someone so I would say try to tolerate it a bit or do what I do when my ex wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Help! My period is really late, could I be pregnant?
Q. Help! I had a normal period Febuary 1st thru the 6th of 2007. I should have gotten my period on the 3rd or 4th of March, 2007- No later! I am really late! Today is the 8th. I have taken two digital tests- both came out negitive and I have also ...
A. 8 March 2007: False negatives are common in pregnancy tests but since you've done 2 tests you're probably perfectly okay. Like the other person said if you exercise to the point where you've recently lost a lot of weight or are very thin then your periods can ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out? Do you think she would say yes?
Q. I like this girl she is in the eighth grade I am in the Ninth and I really like her in fact I think she is the hottest girl on earth and I am afriad I am to ugly for her.I have some acne and a little chubby ...
A. 8 March 2007: The most important thing when dating is confidence. Look around your school. I bet you'll see loads of ugly people with boyfriends and girlfriends. Reason why? They have confidence. If you act like it's not a big deal then you have just as much ... (read in full...)
Should i text him again although its been a month saying that i want to be mates with him or should i try and forget him?
Q. hi all im really stuck me and this guy a few months ago meet up and talked and seemed to get on well , we met up a few times and drank and chat and become mates , but after a few meets we ended up having sex and we still decided to stay mates ...
A. 8 March 2007: Do you still like him as more than a mate? I'm guessing the answer to that question is yes. Therefore if you see him you'll only be raking up old feelings and all the pain again. Give yourself a break and move on with life. If you two have a future ... (read in full...)
The spark is gone! I've tried every romantic thing I can think of. What can I do?
Q. well me and my girlfried have been dating for a few months everything was great we would fool around all the time and in all places. we would be hangin all over each other all the time but then it just stopped. we also work together and now its ...
A. 8 March 2007: Eventually passion gives way to love in a relationship and I think love is, in part, what you describe... being comfortable enough not to need to constant reassurance of hugs and kisses to get you through the day because your love doesn't need to be ... (read in full...)
How can I manipulate his penis so he can "aim" better?
Q. i have this problem when im having sex with my boyfriend. We lost our virginity together, but he has hmm some people tend to call it "bad aim" basically he doesnt always get in me, but don't get me wrong when he does the sex is brilliant. i dont...
A. 8 March 2007: The only thing you can do is guide him in until he knows you well enough to find that place by himself. What you're probably too young to realise though is that most guys have bad aim when it comes to sex with a new partner. It takes a while to know ... (read in full...)
When guys kiss you on the cheek like friends, do they put their lips on your cheek? Or is it supposed to be a kiss in the air and you just touch cheek to cheek?
Q. When guys kiss you on the cheek like friends, do they put their lips on your cheek? Or is it supposed to be a kiss in the air and you just touch cheek to cheek? This guy i like put his lips on my cheek to kiss "HELLO" like all of us friends do. I've ...
A. 8 March 2007: It really depends on the guy. Sorry I can't answer your question but I've had friends whose lips touch my face and boyfriends who kiss the air and vice versa. It just depends. The only way to know if someone likes you for sure is to ask them. Hope ... (read in full...)
We have decided to move in together and get married, now he's dropped a bombshell... he's £50,000 in debt!!!
Q. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 5 years. We are very much in love and have decided to move in together and get married. We both have good well paid jobs however he has dropped a bomb shell! He is £50,000 in debt and has hidden it from me till now. ...
A. 8 March 2007: Hi, I'm not the biggest expert in the world on mortgages and I'd advise you to take professional advice but no bank or building society in their right mind will give your boyfriend even a part share in a mortgage because of his bad credit rating. ... (read in full...)
He wants to be tied up in the bedroom!!!! How do I go about this?
Q. My boyfriend is wanting to try new things in the bedroom. I am all up for trying new things and he really wants to be tied up, and for me to take charge. I'm a bit nervous as he has had it done before me and says it was rubbish so im worried that i ...
A. 8 March 2007: First of all use something soft to tie him up. You don't want him to have embarassing marks the next day. Maybe you could try ties or something? Always agree on a safety word so that if he's not comfortabele you have a way of knowing to let him go, ... (read in full...)
Can we legally be engaged while my partner is still married?
Q. Hi everybody! My partner and i have been together for 2years and he has asked me to marry him this is fantastic! the only problem is he's not officially divorced yet, all the paperwork is through apart from the absolute(the official bit that ...
A. 8 March 2007: Yes its fine to be engaged before the divorce is final as long as you don't start planning your wedding until the decree absolute is in place. However try to be a little sensitive of his ex wife etc.
CD... (read in full...)
My bf really wants a photo of me in lingerie, I really dont want to incase it gets in the wrong hands!!
Q. my boyfriend wants photos of me in lingerie and he's been asking me since october and i've been putting it off out of discomfort from the whole idea. (i'm actually a little surprised i managed to put it off for so long but ever since he moved to the ...
A. 7 March 2007: You're right that if you give him a photo there's an opportunity for it to get shown around. Just decide if you trust him to keep it to himself or not and make your decision based on that.
CD... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fancy somebody else's wife?
Q. Is it wrong to fancy someone else's wife? ...
A. 7 March 2007: Fancying is fine but to act on those feelings would be wrong.
CD... (read in full...)
I've been dating this guy 4 months but have never met him (met online) we live so far away, should I break it off with him?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and this guy have been dating for about four months going on five. I meet him over a dateline, he sounded like a sweet guy, so after some time he asked me to be his girlfriend. For some unknown reason without even thinking i said yes...
A. 7 March 2007: Cyber relationships can be near perfect because you don't see each other all the time and therefore don't get bogged down and argue about the little things that crop up day to day. However this is also the main negative of online relationships. If ... (read in full...)
I feel he's so jealous all the time and doesn't trust me.
Q. Am 15 years old and the guy that am talking to is 17 years old.We've been talking since December.He is a great guy who is always there for me always telling me that everything is going to be okay.But lately I found out that he is the jealous type.I ...
A. 7 March 2007: A relationship can't survive without trust. You tell him that either he starts to trust you or he will lose you. Simple as.
CD... (read in full...)
I'm turned on but by the time he puts the condom on I'm turned off again which makes me feel very inadequate.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex for over a month now and it just isn't working out. It seems like even if I'm turned on, by the time he puts on a condom i could be turned off again. I'm a virgin and I think the thought of having sex ...
A. 7 March 2007: Condoms are necessary to sex but they're not at all sexy. I can quite see why the idea of one would turn you off. What you don't seem to have realised though, is that him putting the condom on doesn't have to mean you start having sex straight away. ... (read in full...)
I moved away from my boyfriend to work and it's tearing me up inside as I miss him so much but HE doesn't seem that bothered about it. Please help.
Q. I've been together with my partner for about 11 months and i love him with all my heart and soul! The problem is he's very selfish in alot of ways but i put up with this as i accepted that from the begining . the problem is I've moved away to wo...
A. 7 March 2007: Just because he doesn't show his emotion doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. Guys are just silly like that. They find it hard to say how they feel. What I think you need to reassure you is a plan. Is your boyfriend planning to move to wherever you are? ... (read in full...)
How can I relax more while making love?
Q. Ok so this problem is very embarrasing for me. I was 19 and a virgin, My girlfriend was 17 and wasn't. When we finnally decided to have sex, this may sound daft but I put all my concentration into not cumming straight away because I wanted her to ...
A. 7 March 2007: Learning to let go is such a hard thing to do and the root to stopping is to work out what makes you hold back during sex. Most guys have something they think about during sex to stop them coming, maybe their naked granny or something? I don't know ... (read in full...)
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