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I don't seem to be attracted to males or females. Is this normal?

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Question - (23 February 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

please help, i am a 17 yr old 'straight' girl. i do go out with boys but never find myself attracted to any of them. i thought about if i could be a lesbian but i am not attracted to girls either....it appears i am not particuarly attracted to either sex! do any other girls go through this as some kind of weird phase? or is it just me? i do long to go further with someone but i have no physical attraction to either sex. advice please

thanks

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntIt may be you just haven't met the right person yet or it could be that you are what is termed "a-sexual." Someone who is a-sexual does not find males or females sexually attractive. Have a look at the links below and you can read a bit more about this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

It may be too that you are just a late developer and the attraction will kick in eventually.

Eve

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007):

that is TOTALLY normal. No worries i went through that stage too, i grew out of it. Everything is good. BEST WISHES

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntThis is COMPLETELY normal. You know the girls in your school who started dating when they were 11? Do you think they were attracted to their boyfriends or just pretending? In my experience you never really feel real attraction towards someone until you're at least 16. Before then it's just this hope beyond all hopes that you'll be attracted to someone. What's great about you is that you're not selling yourself out like this but waiting for the proper right guy. When he comes along you will find yourself weak at the knees for him. Just be patient. He'll come to you!

CD

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (24 February 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey girl,

I've been there. Pretty much all I can tell you is that someone special will come along and you'll be attracted to them. I promise you, you will. Until I was 19 I had never really been physically attracted to anyone. I would kiss people, sure, but I wasn't really, like, ATTRACTED to them. I also thought that maybe I might be a lesbian, but girls did even less for me than guys did!

But eventually, I moved away, I was minding my own business and a guy came into my life who suddenly things just *clicked* with. Maybe that's all your body and your feelings are hoolding out for... someone who you just *click* with.

I'm still not a terribly "sexual" person... and some people are just LIKE that. I'd like to be... I really would. But my brain just doesn't compute that way.

I assure you, someday someone will come into your life and your body will just click into place. So will your mind and everything else. For now, have a BLAST with life. Guys are just distractions. Hang out with your girls, join clubs, do stuff that you won't have time to do when you're older with a career, perhaps a steady relationship, college, etc.

I promise you, it'll come along. And like Kenny said, probably when you least expect it!

xxIndia

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2007):

kenny agony auntI think its just a phase you are going through. You are still only 17, and maybe feel within yourself that you are not ready to meet anyone yet. Also because you haven't yet met anyone that you are physically attracted to. Soon you will meet someone you are physically attracted to, probablly when you least expect it.

x

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