A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have finally met another girl I really like after I had a bad experience 6 months ago.We get on really well but when I asked her on a date recently she replied. "I would love to however, one of my friends really likes you. I knew this before we were good friends, im sorry". she says this is the only reason stopping her. I know who the friend is and I have never felt the same towards her as she is obsessive and jealous.Please help? I am fed up of considering other peoples thoughts. Mine have never been considered.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): I liked a guy a lot a few years back but never told him because of being shy and unable to read signs from him, and my best friend, who encouraged me at first, one day told me that she thought maybe I wasn't compatible with him after all. I thought it was a strange thing to say, because she had previously pushed me to tell him how I felt. I later found out that on that day, he had confessed his crush on her, she had started going out with him, and had made him keep it a secret by telling him that I was madly in love with him and had deluded myself into thinking that he had feelings for me, and that I was jealous and bitter, all the while lying to my face about the whole thing. I can't quite begin to describe to you how crushed I was by this, and how touching I find this girl's loyalty to her friend (apart from telling you her friend had a crush on you, which wasn't her place to tell, in my opinion, but at least she was honest). I wish my friend had had the same decency.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 Honey she's friend Zoned you. It's exactly what Cindy Cares said.
Friends are much harder to come by than lovers and girls will rarely risk losing a friend over a man... so if she said that either she has a very very strict moral and ethical code or she's not that into you and is trying to let you down easy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 She is being sensitive and considerate, and/or she realized that boyfriends are easy to find and easy to loose , but a true friend is a rare treasure and may last you a lifetime In this light, her decision is not a goody-goody one as you seems to see it, but a smart,logical one.
If something goes wrong, she loses a bf AND her dear girlfriend. It's much easier to replace a suitor , than a good valuable friendship.
Tbh, I have to say though that probably this is not the ONE reason she won't go out with you. It's an important factor, but ,more likely, ..she just sort of likes you, but not terribly. Human nature being what it is, if she had a massive crush on you she probably would end up t breaking girls' code . But not being particularly smitten, she won't risk.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 This is a tough one. Is it possible she just doesn't want to go out with you, and she told a white lie? Even if what she is saying is true, you have to accept it for what it is...a rejection.
Let it go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2012): I can understand your frustration, but honestly girls tend to be this way, if they are truly good friends they will not go out with someone their friend's like. I certainly wouldn't do it because my friend means so much to me and I respect them and do not want anything to come between our friendship, and I certainly wouldn't do anything that I know would hurt my friend, and my friends are the same with me.It may not seem fair, and you may think that the friend is obsessive and jealous, and you may not have ever felt anything for her, but she does like you, and the girl is chosing a friendship which will likely last a lifetime over a relationship which may not last at all. Given the same choice, I would chose a close and important friendship everytime, over a possible romantic relationship. The only help there is, is that you respect her decision. Your's have been considered, but she decided against it, she will not appreciate it if you don't respect her decision.
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A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 Hi.Let's understand her character first,which is a kind soul. She always put other people interests beyond herself.She concerns alot of others feelings, helping each time.When in love,she needs to fight for her happiness,not to give way for others. Agree?
Let her know your feeling that You only like her(not her friend).Let her understand the situation clearly taht love can't be transfer like that.just because her friend like you then she backs off.Not work out! Give her time to settle it herself before she can totally commit to you
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