Flirting online but blames me... can you explain his behaviour?
Q. Any psychologists that can analyse this man? I recently left my husband and this man offered support. At first he was so romantic and supportive, he told my friend how stunning I am and how he couldn't believe his luck but he soon changed....
A. 20 September 2013: You do not owe him anything. No matter how supportive or how kind he has been, it does not entitle him to treat you like that.
Watch his actions, because it tells you exactly how unimportant your feelings are to him.
Your ultimatum was a very rea... (read in full...)
People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!
Q. Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...
A. 13 September 2013: He is not a sweet guy (as you put it). If he was that good, he would`nt be abusing you like he is. Abuse is exactly what it is. You will never get anywhere with this man and his problem, because he is not going to own up to it.
Remember this. It i... (read in full...)
Whirlwind romance with my Portuguese boyfriend but he's going to ruin it!
Q. I'm worried my boyfriends jealousy and moody behaviour around other people will destroy our relationship, which aside from this issue is the best I've ever had and I would be devastated if it all goes tits up. Sorry if this is sleep-inducingly long, ...
A. 9 September 2013: Instead of me copying Denise32`s answer word for word, I`ll just advise you to take what she says as being very serious. You may not have even seen anywhere near the worst of it yet.... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 8 September 2013: I saw an earlier answer off someone, which seems to have been taken down now, it was rather insensitive and confrontational, and may have prompted your reply. Most are not assuming, but simply asking, as it may shed a different light on things if ... (read in full...)
How to deal with girl always staring at me at work.
Q. What is this girl's problem? I actually hate her.? I got a new job a few months ago and the girls I started all became really good friends and left me out and they don't speak to me at all but that's okay with me cause I love my job and...
A. 7 September 2013: Say hello to her and try being nice. See how she reacts.... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: If she is playing on dating sites. even after you have caught her and she isn't listening, then the only thing left is to leave her on them and find someone who doesn't go on them. Did you meet her on one, or did you meet her somewhere else?... (read in full...)
After six years my ex wants to meet up. I'm not feeling too good about this!
Q. My partner of 17 years left me for another guy six years ago. During this period she got married and divorced. She has recently contacted me via email saying that she is still in love with and regrets hurting. She wanted to communicate and either ...
A. 7 September 2013: In my opinion she cannot stand being alone, and she has run out of options. Do not let curiosity get the best of you. I would block her from ever contacting you again. Don`t worry about her, she will eventually soon find someone else to be in love ... (read in full...)
Holiday with ex-girlfriend in attendance
Q. I have recently been asked if I would like to go to Florida next year with a group of friends and my god children. The only problem is that my ex-girlfriend will be in attendance as she is god mother to the same children. My ex's attitude towards ...
A. 29 August 2013: I would not want to go on a holiday in the same company as an ex, who`s attitude still holds importance. That`s just me though.... (read in full...)
I can't find the spark I had with my ex!
Q. Right if you could please help, about 3 yrs ago now I split up with an ex. We were together for four years.. it ended a lot because I had drawn myself away from her and didn't spend time with her.. basically I always thought it would end as I felt ...
A. 6 August 2013: If she was as perfect as you say she was, then you would not have drawn yourself away. Since when do perfect partners meet someone else and then mess the other about?
I think the only problem you have, is the fact that you have not met anyone else... (read in full...)
Is reconciliation possible after three years?
Q. Is three years apart too much to consider a reconciliation? My girlfriend broke up with me on more or less friendly terms three years ago. She wanted to remain friends but I felt total separation was all I could handle. I've since had other ...
A. 5 August 2013: Of course, someone, somewhere in the world must have got back with an ex after three years or even longer. I think there is far more chance that she has moved on though. A lot can happen in three years.... (read in full...)
What's more wrong? Checking your boyfriend's phone or your boyfriend betraying you?
Q. What is more wrong? Checking on your boyfriends phone or finding out he has betrayed you? Seemingly he said I would never of got hurt and I shouldn't have gone looking...
A. 2 August 2013: Are you normally suspicious, or did you have a hunch that he needed checking on because something wasnt right about him? What he is doing is trying to put you on the defensive, because he has been caught out. It`s the oldest trick in the book.... (read in full...)
I've been saving for 9 months so that my boyfriend and I could move in together only to find that he has saved NOTHING at all. Is he subconsciously telling m he doesn't want to move to my area?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for coming up to two years and for the past year we've been talking about moving in together. We ruled out me moving to him because it is so much more expensive to live in his area that...
A. 1 August 2013: In all, I think, if you want something bad enough, then you will try and move mountains. I think everything he has told you has been half hearted. Money does not get "accidentally" spent. It gets spent on essentials, or on what is his priority at ... (read in full...)
His new girlfriend news has set me back a bit.
Q. Dear Cupid I haven't been on here for a while as I've been doing so well, but today I feel a bit unsettled because I've just found out that my ex has a new girlfriend. I'm not going to contact him or anything like that, and I wish him well, ...
A. 28 July 2013: Read what has been written by female anonymous (just below). She has given the exact same advice as I was going to give.
Your ex is fickle.... (read in full...)
Why would my friend say that we are better as friends, and later start coming on stronger?
Q. Why would a fella say to you that we are better as mates and then start coming on stronger when i told him that's ok we have been friends for years and few months back said we had feelings for each other and he was going to dump gf for me and then ...
A. 11 April 2013: Because he enjoys the feeling of someone wanting him, and does not want it to stop. Move on. He has a girlfriend.... (read in full...)
GF is cheating and I don't see it?
Q. I have been dating my jealous, possessive, demanding and highly strung girlfriend for just over 2 years. I have constantly tried and failed to meet her demands and expectations. Her jealousy occasionally turns violent and emotional if she ever gets ...
A. 11 April 2013: You probably wont ever get the closure you are hoping for. Does it really matter anymore? Dump her permanently. ... (read in full...)
Will he ever stop going on dating sites? I hesitate to allow our relationship to develop further because of this.
Q. Can someone please answer, because I think I am slowly losing my mind through this. I have been dating for three years now. He wants to take our relationship further, but I can`t. The reason I can`t is because for at least two years, I have be...
A. 5 April 2013: " he`s denied, lied, blamed me and made up excuses " It speaks volumes that. Doesnt it? He doesnt look like he wants to stop. He doesnt have to. A few cross words and he`s back in your life again. ... (read in full...)
Is it the wrong time to be marrying with dating sites in the background?
Q. I am getting married in June. Two years ago I found her to be going on dating sites. First she lied about it, and then admitted she did it for a joke. I caught her doing it again and I left that time. We got back after she begged me and promised she ...
A. 28 March 2013: Of course it is the wrong time to be marrying her. By the sound of it she is probably the wrong person to be marrying too. ... (read in full...)
Fiance not into me any more?
Q. Hi, I have been with my fiance for two and a half years, we have had our up a and downs but mostly, we have had a great time - but lately, I am worried that he is just not that into me any more. We live together and I gave a great relationship ...
A. 26 March 2013: "I don't understand what has happened to the affectionate, loving man I knew who cuddled me all the time and sent me love cards and poetry." Are you talking about the same one here? The one who slept with his ex? The one who messaged girls on ... (read in full...)
Single for two years -- how will guys react?
Q. GUYS: what do you think of a girl that's been single for 2 years? I've been single for 2years now and I don't feel like been with anyone. Guys tell me I'm cute and sexy and they wanna get to know me and take me out etc: But I'm neve...
A. 14 March 2013: I cannot see why it would make any difference.... (read in full...)
I was foretold that my girlfriend will go on dating sites saying that I neglected her. Now it came true.
Q. I have been in a relationship for a year and half. Her ex comes to her house regularly to pick up and bring their son home. He comes in, we talk, there are no bad feelings. Around a year ago he dropped a sarcastic remark relating to my girlfriend ...
A. 8 March 2013: It does seem coincidental doesn`t it? He is her ex, so I can see why you was reluctant to believe him. Just what reason did she give for her and her ex breaking up? His jealousy or unreasonable behaviour perhaps? You can bet that she will be giving ... (read in full...)
Was it just a surprise one night stand? Or could it lead to more?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm having a bit of a dilemma. I have been single for about 9 months after a bad break up of a long term rship. I had been hung up on meeting someone but then decided not to let this be my focus and and then suddenly i started meetin...
A. 6 March 2013: If we want a woman, us guys tend not to waste time. I think if he REALLY wanted to see you again, he would have arranged it with you asap. ... (read in full...)
She says she can tell lies about other guys as she is not my wife!
Q. i have been dating since 2 years. my girlfriend wants us to be engaged and then married. i have found her to be on dating sites many times and text messenging guys on different phone numbers. she always told lies about it, but now said that it is ...
A. 5 March 2013: You should not even be in a relationship with her. Forget marriage.... (read in full...)
As the "other" woman in the affair, how to deal with his revengeful wife
Q. I am in a weird situation and need your advice. I (happily married and want to stay in that marriage) had an affair a couple of years ago with another married man, whose wife found out. Their relationship is going down the drain and he told me ...
A. 4 March 2013: You are not in a good situation. I hope it is your fear of what she may do that is clouding your realisation of just how hurt she really is. No one in the world can predict what her next move will be. The ball is in her court.... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 4 March 2013: People HAVE answered your question. They are reminding you of the reality, which you are ignoring. Ok, so let's say he came back. He wont ever trust you. You have wrote immature things on facebook for the world to see. He may even not want to be ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 3 March 2013: I will be very honest about this. From what you have said, if I was in his situation, I would not go anywhere near you. You are probably a very bad memory he wants to forget by now. What you did on Facebook was an embarrassment to yourself and not ... (read in full...)
If I'm not good enough for my girlfriend then why didn't she just let us stay broken up?
Q. I found out my girl of 2 years was talking sexual to guys from dating sites. It caused us to break up and she begged me to go back to her. She admitted it was stupid and said it was not for sexual reasons, but teasing and flirting with them just for ...
A. 1 March 2013: I would not even bother contacting her again.... (read in full...)
If partner is using dating site do they always keep on carrying on until you dump them permanently?
Q. I am noticing there seems to be a growing number of questions here relating to repetitive cheating on dating sites by their partner. I have had to go through this with my partner who never admits it or thinks he is not doing anything wrong by way o...
A. 26 February 2013: I would treat your case to what has happened to you, and not compare it to anyone else. If he is refusing to see the damage he is doing or doesn`t care about the effect it has on you, then why prolong it? Somehow he has got the message that he can ... (read in full...)
Am I finally over my ex? Because I don't feel anything or even care about him anymore
Q. Does this mean i'm finally over my ex? I've stopped thinking about him as much as I used to, which was a lot! I can think about our memories and him and i don't tear up or feel sad, but just think of how it was a happy point in my life. I don't fi...
A. 26 February 2013: It could mean you are now getting used to life without him. you are probably over the worst. I think if you was 100% over him, you would not be asking this, because you woul not be thinking about it.... (read in full...)
Guys, do you compare gfs with porn actresses and think about them in sex?
Q. guys, be honest, do you compare your gf's body to those of the women you see in porn? and do you have mental images of the women you watch in porn when you're making love with your gf? thanks for any answers :)...
A. 25 February 2013: I havent watched any porn for some time now, but do not remember having ever compared a porn actress with any girlfriend ever. I am just as curious to know if any women ever compare porn actors penises to their present boyfriend?... (read in full...)
My married lover won't leave his wife for me. Its not fair!
Q. I am deeply in love with a married man that doesn't love me back. Why do all of these lucky bitc*es get their married boyfriend to love them. Let me guess its all about looks?? Only beautiful and attractive women can get the man to fall for them. ...
A. 24 February 2013: He is not staying just for the kids. He is staying because he has got it very good at the moment. Have you heard the one about he doesnt have sex with or sleep in the same bed as his wife yet? ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend because of his addiction to cyber sex?
Q. Hello Dear Cupids I discovered my boyfriend had been emailing female contacts he has on yahoo and also paltalk, to talk about sex. I discovered after I checked his computer after he had repeatedly clicked off the screen quickly when I came in t...
A. 24 February 2013: Internet addiction is excessive computer use that interferes with your daily life. When you keep going on the internet to find someone to swap dirty pics of each other/ masturbate together/ talk about hooking up/ arranging to hook up/ watch each ... (read in full...)
For how long am I expected to work at making this work?
Q. Hi. I have some relationship probelms, including my bf's financial probelms, having to bail him out, the nagging ex wife and massive fights he has with her and so on. She even sent me thretening messages. We don't live together so althogh I get ...
A. 24 February 2013: It may be working for him, but it is not working for you. You would be better off out of it.... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend because of his addiction to cyber sex?
Q. Hello Dear Cupids I discovered my boyfriend had been emailing female contacts he has on yahoo and also paltalk, to talk about sex. I discovered after I checked his computer after he had repeatedly clicked off the screen quickly when I came in t...
A. 23 February 2013: There seems to be an awful lot about cyber sex/cheating on here lately. Unfortunately it seems to be like a drug to some of those that do it. If he has a problem and will not stop it and you cannot believe him, then it is on course to end anyway. It ... (read in full...)
We've been together for a few years and now I just don't fancy my boyfriend at all. Is it just a phase?
Q. I have an issue with my boyfriend. I have been with him for a few years now and just dont fancy him at all. is it time to call it a day on this relationship? i havnt told him of my concerns but basically sex is just clumsy and i find myselk avoi...
A. 23 February 2013: It sounds to me like you are only with him through having fear of being alone. You are using him really. What is wrong with being single for a while? If you do not fancy him, then it`s not your fault. If you do not fancy him, then what`s going to ... (read in full...)
Confused about whether or not to end this relationship. The pros and cons are equal.
Q. Recently I have been thinking about ending my relationship but I'm so unsure whether I am making the right decision or not. I love my boyfriend so much, but at the same time he drives me so mad that I don't know if I could be in this relationship ...
A. 23 February 2013: Think very carefully whether or not these thoughts are just a phase or not. You could try talking to him. To me though, if they are recurring thoughts, especially wondering about other men, then it sounds like it could be the beginning of the end. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend on site to cheat with married man. Is it time to end things?
Q. I have found out my girlfriend of 2 years went onto a site that is designed for married people to cheat on each other. Her friend told me. I am surprised she told her anyway. She wrote that she is single and looking for an uncomplicated no strings ...
A. 22 February 2013: End it. You cannot accept it. Nothing wrong with that. I don`t think I could handle that either.... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...
A. 21 February 2013: Maybe she never intended meeting anyone off the sites. Who knows? I think this is about a constant need for attention,to be desired and adored. I do not think you alone will ever be enough to feed her need. I think she may need you for the security ... (read in full...)
Online woman is pinning all her hopes on me but we are not exclusive. Is it ok if I meet someone else to date till we meet?
Q. I been single over 12 months and joined a few dating sites. Have been chatting to a woman in the USA for about 2 weeks and we really get on. Because we get on she has now set her profile to 'private' so she can concentrate on me, and she has plans ...
A. 21 February 2013: It is ok to meet whoever you want, but tell her before she comes over. It is not fair to meet others, if she is coming over and believing you are an item (like it seems she does). If you havent sealed a deal then let her know. It would be cruel not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says the past is the past but I have trust issues!
Q. I have been with my fiance for seven years. We broke up for five monthe in 2011. When we were broken up he was awful. He lied to me so many times. He started seeing a much younger girl. We are back together now. And we are planning our wedding in ...
A. 19 February 2013: Some people may manage to get through things and move past them. It doesnt seem like you can. You are still hurting. It is very easy for him to say that it's the past, because he never got hurt. He wasn't with you when it happened, but that does not ... (read in full...)
I have proof that my boyfriend cheated but how do I get him to admit it?
Q. i had a suspision that my boyfriend was cheating so i set up a recorder one nite and sure enough i got my evidence but he stil denies it. How to i get him to tell the truth?...
A. 18 February 2013: He`s a liar. Liars don`t tell the truth. If you don`t leave the odds are that he will see you as being very weak.... (read in full...)
Where is the line between deceit and harmless white lies?
Q. I would appreciate some opinions please, and thank you. There are TWO parts to my problem. I believe I have met my soulmate. I have only felt this way once before, so I know the feeling. I knew it immediately. We have been together nearly a y...
A. 17 February 2013: "I asked him if he had been in touch with her, and he said he hadn't for a long time" That was deliberate a lie that he told you. In my opinion, and that`s all it is, I would say he is dishonest and I would not trust him. I dont think he was lying ... (read in full...)
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