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I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it

Tagged as: Cheating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2013) 16 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or is she trying to find someone else? Or does she just want to cheat on me? I cant seem to get any answers because she wont admit any of it and gets angry when I try to talk about it. Why go on dating sites and lie about it, if you are not looking to date?

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A male reader, somewhere_between United Kingdom +, writes (21 September 2013):

somewhere_between agony auntIf you have seen it with your own eyes, then why do you need her to admit it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013):

you are not on your own. read through the archives of Dearcupid.org. the internet is helping to expose a lot of wannabe and potential cheats. remember, the only reason they use the internet is because they cannot get anyone in real life to cheat on you with.

what is so good about her, that you let her abuse you like that? she cannot be that good if she needs to use the internet. find better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013):

Is it her twin sister? No! Dump her!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2013):

She's gas lighting you get out now...she's denying when you clearly saw it? Yikes......run

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2013):

bronzed adonis agony auntI saw an earlier answer off someone, which seems to have been taken down now, it was rather insensitive and confrontational, and may have prompted your reply. Most are not assuming, but simply asking, as it may shed a different light on things if you had met her on one of those sites.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013):

When people are dishonest about their actions it usually spells trouble. And her not admitting to it is as good as her admitting to it.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (7 September 2013):

I think people are asking because their answer could go two ways depending on whether or not you met on one of these websites. If you had it'd be possible she just hadn't taken her profile down.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013):

You are going down a slippery slope. I would get out of the relationship asap. You are going to end up very unhappy and paranoid. I am speaking through experience.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013):

I am the original poster of this question. Why are so many of you assuming I am also on dating sites? The first and third time I saw it, was because she had forgot to log out and left her computer on. The second time, I walked in and she was busy on it and claimed I was seeing something that wasn't there.

Why on earth would I be here asking this question if I was doing exactly the same myself?

No, I did not meet her on a dating site, I met her through a friend. (A male friend that I never met on a dating site either, in case any of you are wondering).

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A female reader, thinkb4 Papua New Guinea +, writes (7 September 2013):

Since I answered your question, I notice the hostile reply I was relating to has been removed.

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2013):

bronzed adonis agony auntIf she is playing on dating sites. even after you have caught her and she isn't listening, then the only thing left is to leave her on them and find someone who doesn't go on them. Did you meet her on one, or did you meet her somewhere else?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntPrint them out? And show them to her? Kind of hard to deny it when it's there in black and white.

Also WHAT are you doing on the dating sites yourself?

Did you two met on a dating site? Is her profile old?

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A female reader, delightful84 United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2013):

What does any of it matter? Just dump her.

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A female reader, thinkb4 Papua New Guinea +, writes (7 September 2013):

I am sorry you have asked a serious question and been met with what appears to be a very hostile counter question. Unfortunately I can also answer you with a question. Why are you still with her?

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (7 September 2013):

Why are you putting up with this behavior? So, she didn't answer you (and whatever she would have said would probably be bs), respond by leaving her. If you stay with her you're condoning her behavior.

Or, you can stay with her and accept the fact that she's lying to you and possibly seeing other people.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2013):

And you were trawling these websites, why? How exactly did you find her? Or is it a case that you both met on a dating site and she hasn't taken down, or changed her profile?

If you feel that her heart isn't in it, then perhaps you should consider calling it quits if she refuses to be honest with you. A relationship built on checking up on one another and anger at confrontation is not healthy and nice.

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