| Latest articles: Why we shouldn't cheat
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2009: Since Tiger Woods has now admitted to cheating it seems like everybody is doing it. So why not cheat? There are a lot of other respectable politicians and entertainment personalities who have done it and some even get caught doing it as well. So ...
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She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 1 December 2009: You can absolutely forgive a cheater but to forgive and forget is a different story. Forgiveness is for you to move forward in your life and to let go of the anger and hurt the cheating causes you. You will never forget completely and when you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me... what should I do for him to forgive me?
Q. What should i do my boyfriend slapped me? What should i do for him to forgive me? me and my boyfriend got in a big argument about where we will spend thanksgiving and i said a few things and kicked him where it would hurt the most.. cause he was p...
A. 26 November 2009: Nobody in a relationship should hit, punch, kick,slap or in any way violently touch one another. It is all wrong. You both are immature and not well educated it seems. Why yell, why fight and why try to hurt one another? It is pointless and ... (read in full...)
Is he going off me?
Q. i been dating this boy since i was a freshmen in high school, he is now in college and im now a senior. He agreed that we would stay together. The first year of college everything was ok but this year everything went wrong, he would only call me ...
A. 26 November 2009: Hi honey, I am not sure what is going on here but possible you are right in your instincts that he might be trying to slowly end the relationship. It probably has nothing to do with you and all to do with him. So don't take it personally. I wish ... (read in full...)
He wants to go to "next base." What does this mean exactly?
Q. My boyfriend and I have only kissed (not made out) and he said maybe we could "go to the next base" But I was always told 1st base was making out, so what do you think he means? Haha....
A. 26 November 2009: Hi sweetie. You have nothing to be ashamed of by asking this question. You are smart to come here and post this and look for feedback. I also believe first base is kissing, second is fondling the breasts, and third is below the belt area. If you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend physically and mentally drains me... I'm so unhappy...
Q. Hello to everyone that responds to my question. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. The relationship started out ok, and its been alright since. I enjoy his company sometimes, but half of the time he mentally exhausts me. Once upon a t...
A. 26 November 2009: A companion should not drain your energy from you or exhaust you, they should energize you and make you feel alive. Maybe this is not a good match. That is all, nothing to be upset about just maybe you should consider ending this relationship ... (read in full...)
In love with a married women but should I wait for her?
Q. I am new to this site and have a few questions that I am hoping to get help with. I have been having an affair with a married woman for almost 9 months. She is fantastic. Neither of us thought we would ever be in this situation ever. ...
A. 26 November 2009: You need to end this relationship. She is married. I don't care if she is consentual it is not fair to you and no matter what she says, this is wrong in every way. How would you like it if she were to marry you and then someday when the marriage ... (read in full...)
She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 26 November 2009: I think you know the answer already and are stalling because of the discomfort it will bring you both when you tell her. You need to tell her you are not 100% sure anymore about her moving and you need more time. You also need to forget about the ... (read in full...)
I am new to the dating scene Please help me interpret this mans actions!
Q. Please help me interpret this mans actions: I am new to the dating scene and am terrified of it. I met a cute guy today and we were talking for a few minutes. In that short time, he told me I was hot two times and tried to hug me. This was the first ...
A. 26 November 2009: He wants sex and he is not the only fish in the sea, there are other men who are decent and don't just want sex from a woman. There are many men who would like a nice companion and friend. He is not one of them and that is ok, just tell him you ... (read in full...)
How often per week should a couple have sex?
Q. Ok since this has been a reoccuring theme on this site of late, I would like to settle once and for all, how often per week should a couple have sex. My theory is: 3 times combined with 3 times asking how her day was and back/foot rub. And one day...
A. 24 November 2009: Honestly, every couple is different. Every person has a different sex drive, and we are all unique in our desires. So that being said, there is no norm. You cannot even compare one couple to another. It is not possible. ... (read in full...)
She covers herself up during sex and I have no idea why!
Q. I am in a relationship with my partner for over 9 years now, everytime we are having sex she is always covering her breast and folding her hands round her chest with her eyes closed, never allow me to kiss her, I find it difficult to make her ...
A. 24 November 2009: I also hate my body and cover it up a lot during sex. I think a lot of women have the unfortunate belief that men want the perfect bombshell and are expecting it when they have sex. Women see beautiful air-brushed women all over magazines and on ... (read in full...)
Is sex painful?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 2 years with all my heart,the problem is when we kiss, whenever he feels horny and asks for sex, I get really scared, is sex really that bad and is it painful?...
A. 24 November 2009: Please do not have sex at your young age. Please just don't do it. I think you are absolutely not ready and you should wait until you are. I waited until I was out of high school because I wasn't ready until then, and that is OK! If you feel like ... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend maintain an erection?
Q. Whenever my fiance and I have sex, I notice that, on the rare occasion he "misses" and when I reach to put it back in, that he's a bit soft. I asked him why, and he has no clue. It's been like that and he says he does notice it. Is this norm...
A. 24 November 2009: Yes this is normal. I think that every man has this issue at some point or another and it will happen on and off in your relationship.... (read in full...)
Why is my wife not as tight as she was?
Q. I went away for couple of weeks to work, and when i came back, my wife was sort of lose, and before i went out, she was nice and tight. When i asked her why she got loose, she jumped and and chaged the topic and she did not want to talk about it...
A. 23 November 2009: You are being completely ridiculous. Honestly, it is almost impossible for her to get "loose" in that amount of time unless she had a ten pound baby in those two weeks.... You are being very very paranoid and almost silly.... (read in full...)
I'm Falling for a Married man, "my boyfriend"...I Need Some Advice.(affair)
Q. Im Falling for a Married Man,were having an affair. Ive allowed him to consider me as his girlfriend, and hes my "boyfriend" Ok, I will tell you all the informantion i think you need to know to understand what im going through, from beginning t...
A. 23 November 2009: He is using you for sex. He will never leave his wife. You should not even allow him to call you or see you ever again. I am so so so sorry. He is a bastard and do you really want to be involved and love somebody who will someday cheat on you ... (read in full...)
He's left me holding the baby while he goes out and cheats!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a 3 month old baby girl, we are engaged and living together. I'm 17 years old, he is 22 years old... i love him with all my heart and now i feel hopeless. lots of different girls have been calling him ...
A. 23 November 2009: He sounds like he is abusive and I would not allow this to go on anymore. You need to get counseling. ... (read in full...)
He is doing everything possible to show me how much he loves me but his betrayal is all I can focus on.
Q. Hi Aunts, Don't really know why I'm writing this. It's cos I need your help and reassurance again I suppose. If you know me you will remember my text cheating husband and the rest of the saga. Although I am managing to avoid bringing it up as ...
A. 23 November 2009: When it comes down to it you have two choices. You can either decide you will make a conscious daily effort to let it go, or you can get a divorce and move on. If you cannot let it go, then ask for a divorce. You surely cannot stay married in the ... (read in full...)
How do inform my friends and family I'm living with a new man?
Q. Hi, I am 27 yrs old and I ended my 5 yr marriage 8 months ago. My family loved my ex husband and were upset that we're getting a divorce. We have 2 children a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old who live with me but he sees on weekends. We decided to end our ...
A. 22 November 2009: I am going through something similiar to you and feel like you do about approval from my family. I am divorced and seeing a guy from work. I have been seeing him for about a year and still have not introduced him to my family as I am afraid they ... (read in full...)
My wife has a new, young, male friend!
Q.
Hello
I am hoping you can help.
About 6 months ago, my wife met a neighbour at the bus stop. He is about 35,
my wife is 50 but still very attractive. They started chatting and met most
mornings. My wife mentioned their meeting and over...
A. 19 November 2009: Ok, this sounds like she has a crush. And I can totally understand your concern about that. You have the right to find a younger "friend" and invite her over for dinner as well, so why don't you try that and see what your wife thinks.... She ... (read in full...)
I have difficulty socialising
Q. I'm a 26 year old male, who finds socialising extremely difficult. I crave
for people's attention, but do not seem to have the magnetic personality
that can keep a person enthralled. I wouldn't describe myself as
intellectually challenged. ...
A. 19 November 2009: women like guys that laugh at their jokes and if you laugh at a persons joke even if you don't think it is really funny they will like being around you. People like to talk about themselves, you can make a person feel good about themselves by ... (read in full...)
I feel depressed, unhappy and ugly.
Q. I feel depressed, unhappy and ugly. My first love and I broke up 3 months ago because he doesn't want to deal with our relationship. He basiclly put me in the depression I'm in and then left me. He also now tells me that I am not attractive to him ...
A. 18 November 2009: Oh I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you that you WILL get through this and in time you will be happy again. This is awful to go through and I think the best way to get over this guy is to start paying a lot of attention to yourself and ... (read in full...)
I love her dearly but really don't know if the feeling is mutual anymore
Q. I am a 47 year old male, my partner is 32 we have been together for about 12 years now and have a lovely six year old daughter. I tell her i love her everyday,she only says this if i have said it first. if i go to cuddle her its as though i am in he...
A. 18 November 2009: I am really sorry about your distress over your relationship. How well do you both get along otherwise? Do you both have a good relationship and is communication strong between you both? Can you talk to her about your feelings and tell her stuff ... (read in full...)
Why did he ask me to go to the gym with him? Does he think I'm fat???
Q. This question may sound a bit silly but i just want to know what my boyfriend meant by this. We were talking one night and he said hes going to start going to the gym and he asked "maybe you can come to keep me company" I felt a bit offended...
A. 17 November 2009: He doesn't think you are fat. He wants you to go with him because he would enjoy your company and would like to get in shape with you. That is all. I think you are reading into this way too much.... (read in full...)
He said I just don't turn him on!!!
Q. Ok first thanks for taking the time to read this. This guy and I started an exclusive relationship a little over a week ago. He has a hard time staying hard during intercourse, and I am very patient with him and I continue to rub him and kiss him to ...
A. 17 November 2009: Maybe he is telling you he isn't turned on by what you are doing and not you exactly. Or maybe you are not his type. Some guys like women who are shapely, some like women who are thin. It is not your fault. It is what he likes and doesn't like. ... (read in full...)
He keeps hurting my feelings
Q. Hi. At close to the beginning of this relationship, I set some boundaries with this guy, and one of them was not to call me or even joke about me being a bitch, because I'm not. This guy was my first. We got married and he still keeps joking o...
A. 15 November 2009: I think this is two sided. Why would you even tell him you don't want to be called a bitch in the first place? I would not want to be called one either but I don't go out and set rules in my life with people saying you can't call me this and you ... (read in full...)
Should I smoke pot before sex?
Q. Would smoking pot before having sex make it hurt less the first time?...
A. 15 November 2009: Do not smoke pot for any reason. Seriously, it is not necessary. I think you should see a doctor before having sex and talk to her about your conerns if you are concerned but smoking pot is not a good thing and should not be used for any reason.... (read in full...)
Could my symptoms be a sign of pregnancy?
Q. Last week, things got a bit heated between me and my boyfriend. We didn't have sex, but he had touched himself briefly before fingering me. I didn't notice any pre-ejaculate on him, so I didn't think anything of it. Later on I spoke to him about my ...
A. 15 November 2009: Don't think you are pregnant and I do think you need to see a gynecologist.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his child?
Q. Just yesterday, I found out I was pregnant and it was confirmed by a doctor. My boyfriend and I recently split and he refused to give me a reason. Then only thing he told me was that he loved me but couldnt be with me anymore. But the night before, ...
A. 15 November 2009: absolutely honey you should tell him. It may be uncomfortable to talk about with him because of his reaction but it is not fair to keep this a secret from him no matter what his reaction will be. It has to be done. I am sorry for the stress y... (read in full...)
Which of these two guys should I marry?
Q. i am 22 now .i was in a love relationship with a guy for 4 years and we broke up, then I moved back to US. due to my tensions, I flirted with a guy and had fake love relationship for almost 6 months, I introduced him to my family and both his and my ...
A. 13 November 2009: I have an answer to your dilema. You should only get married if you feel a deep love for the person you are marrying or your marriage won't last. And I think you should wait to get married, you sound too young to make such a life changing ... (read in full...)
He doesn't like using condoms and says if I get pregnant, so be it!
Q. Hi All, Im 19 and have a 23 year old BF, I love him very much and he loves me too. The problem is he doesnt like using condoms, Im not on any form of birth control and I dont want use any, except condoms as I feel more safe. I really DONT want a ...
A. 13 November 2009: WRONG! Do not have sex without a condom or some kind of birth control. Do not! Unless you are perfectly happy with the idea that you could be tied down to this man for the rest of your life and possibly be living in poverty due to the fact that ... (read in full...)
What if I leave him and it is a mistake....but what if I stay in a marriage that is a joke?
Q. I am a 42 yr old Mother of 3 girls, ages 18, 16 and 10. I have been married for 18 yrs and up until 2 years ago thought I had a great marriage. I trusted my husband completely and I am not a jealous person. My husband doesn't drink and he doesn't go ...
A. 13 November 2009: I don't want to sound uncaring but I think your relationship is over based on the fact that you feel dead inside and you cannot trust him and will never trust him again. Not only did he cheat on you, but he won't be truthful and work on your ... (read in full...)
Is a woman's worth tied to her breast size?
Q. I have many issues with my body. I hate having small breasts, because men may accept small ones, but secretly they all want big! My boyfriend masturbates to big chested women. Also I don't have all the time in the world to exercise, sure I...
A. 13 November 2009: I have small breasts and one is actually bigger than the other. I am far from beautiful when I am naked. But my boyfriend thinks I am absolutely beautiful with my little uneven 34A's and my big butt. He tells me I am sexy. He said I am absolute... (read in full...)
Why does he prefer masturbation over a beautiful loving wife he says he loves?
Q. I need some good professional or exact advice from a professioal or from someone that has gone through what I am going through! I have a no sex marriage, when I no sex I mean no sex, in any way, touch or any form at all whats so ever. My husband ...
A. 13 November 2009: Try counseling then if that doesn't work leave this man. He is not right for you if he doesn't want to please you. If he loved you enough, he would try to please you. Who cares what your family or his family thinks about you if you leave him, it ... (read in full...)
Do men enjoy giving women oral sex?
Q. Right then... 'kay. I am sixteen and my bf has just turned 17 and is 11 months older than me, and we are just getting into the whole sex thing, and I was wondering: Do guys actually like going down on girls? because I've got a friend and he said...
A. 13 November 2009: I think that is a question that you cannot generalize. Some men do and some men don't.... (read in full...)
Should I believe and trust my boyfriend?
Q. I am 41 my boyfriend of 8 months is 27. I am married (partially seperated). I recently got an apartment with for my boyfriend and I. We seemed to be getting along great, then his friends started coming around. I noticed a change in him. One ...
A. 13 November 2009: You are being used I think. You should dump this guy. He sounds very very immature.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept with a girl when we'd just started dating. Is this an issue?
Q. my bofriend and i have been dating for a little over 8 months now and i recently found out 3 days after he asked me out on a date he slept with another girl should i confront him about it or leave it alone since me and him are living together now ...
A. 13 November 2009: Why would you want to make this an issue? Were you in a commited relationship with him at the time? I think you should just drop this completely. It is silly. ... (read in full...)
What do men find most attractive about women?
Q. what are men really attracted to? now as a young woman i am curious do men like skinny women or do they like a woman with some meat? what is the most attractive aspect of a womans body? do men like curvy or a stick? ...
A. 13 November 2009: Every guy is different but most men will say a sweet personality and a woman that lets the man be a man is the most attractive woman to him. Guys like a nice girl that is loyal and faithful and one that acts like a woman. I think most men are attr... (read in full...)
I would already be engaged to her if it wasnt for her past! How do I overcome this?
Q. I'll try to keep it short. In June 07 I met a girl at a party and ending up sleeping with her that night. Both of us were sober. For the rest of the summer we hooked up here and there - f buddies. About a month after we first met my good friend told ...
A. 13 November 2009: Look, it is like this.... You have to let it go. It is something she did in the past, and it is DONE. If she was still doing this, it would be a problem but she isn't. If she is faithful to you, then why bring up the past? It has nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I indulge her rape fantasies?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going through some rough times lately, and things look to be going downhill fast, no matter what I do. She's 8 months pregnant and I know her hormones are raging, so I've put my selfish needs aside in an attemp t...
A. 13 November 2009: This is truly a normal fantasy for women to have because it is just that, A FANTASY and it is safe. It is about being desired and being wanted. She is normal for having this fantasy.... (read in full...)
Do I have too much libido?
Q. I wanted to see if i was over sexed so i kept a journal. In 1 yr i had sex with my wife 187 times and masterbated 263 times. And the sad thing is i want more and i dont think i do it enough. There is times even after i please my wife i am still horn...
A. 13 November 2009: You are normal. You have just a little more testosterone.... (read in full...)
I feel like I need space from the girlfriend I love
Q. I was in a serious relationship from age 16 to 22 - one in which I never strayed or so much as looked at another girl. Immediately after that ended, I moved into a relationship with my current girlfriend. I'm 24 and she's turning 23.
I'm incr...
A. 13 November 2009: My opinion is that you really don't love her as much as you think you do or you would not want to break up with her and leave her..... and give her the opportunity to find somebody else in the meantime... which she will if you do break up. She ... (read in full...)
My 17 year old daughter hasn't had her period. Any advice?
Q. I have a 17 year old daughter that has not started her period. I have taken her to several doctors. Does anyone have advice or information on this subject?...
A. 30 October 2009: Ovarian failure? Is she underweight? Does she appear healthy otherwise? Has she developed breasts? I would see an endocrinologist with her.... (read in full...)
I don't feel I cheated, but I was awkwardly busted. Do I explain the situation to him?
Q. Thanks so much in advance for your insight(s). After years of quick flings, NSAs and not-quite-rights, (I'm 47) I all but shut down my sexual activity and adpoted a "been there done that" mentality, I'm recently re-inspired. I believe that ...
A. 30 October 2009: PNP???? NSA???? ok why couldn't you spell the entire word if you can spell every other word in this post? Anyways, I am guessing that pnp is an online dating service? if so you should not have been on there if you are happy enough in your ... (read in full...)
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