A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a 3 month old baby girl, we are engaged and living together. I'm 17 years old, he is 22 years old... i love him with all my heart and now i feel hopeless. lots of different girls have been calling him late at night, he goes out and disappears for days while im left at home holding the baby, i know he's cheating, i have seen the evidence on his phone, i have confronted him but when i done that he punched me, luckily not in front of the baby, he wouldnt ever do that in front of her. I'm just gutted, I'm finding it really difficult coping with the baby as he's hardly ever home and it tires me out, he is a good dad when he's around. He's allowed to go on nights out, but he wont let me because he said he dont want boys drooling over me, he dont let me wear make-up or clothes that show a bit of flesh.. basically he can go do whatever he wants but i cant... I love my baby girl and would rather be at home looking after her than be out drinking like he does, but i dont know how much more of this i can take, I'm thinking of leaving him but i love him and now that I have a baby with him I feel trapped that I cant leave him... do you have any advice? Should I pack my things and leave or should I stay and hope for the best? please help x
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female
reader, FFF5  +, writes (24 November 2009):
OKAY I AM SORRY TO HEAR THIS THAT YOU ARE SO YOUNG AND GOING THROUGH THIS, BUT BETTER NOW THAT YOU GET OUT OF IT!!!! FORGET ABOUT HIM, HE HAS SOME NERVE I DON'T KNOW WHO HE THINKS HE IS, BUT HE'S NOT.. GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT, OH HELL NO!!!! Listen girl, goto your family's or google a shelter for women, there are plenty of them. This will be hard for you since you are young, yes, but it is probably a first love, cry it out, you will get stronger, and be happy you made the right decision. He is taking complete advantage of your age and vulnerability. He must think that you are a toy DOLL that he can have at home and you have no feelings, YOU ARE NOT MADE OF PLASTIC HELLO???!!! WAKE UP AND LEAVE THAT DAMNED AS-SHOLE!!!! NOW!!!! DON'T WAIT, YOU SHOULN'T BE ASKING THESE QUESTIONS. MY BOYFRIEND HAS HIT ME, BUT NEVER CHEATED. AND GUESS WHAT?? I HIT HIS BIG A-S-S BACK!! I WOULD NEVER DEAL WITH INFIDELITY, EVER!!
A
female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (24 November 2009):
 yes he cheating and NO he should NOT be using u as a punch bag just coz u want to talk about wat is going on and yes it is hard to leave some1 u love but he may be a good dad but you dont need this, you have family to depend on use them no man should treat any woman like that
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (23 November 2009):
He sounds like he is abusive and I would not allow this to go on anymore. You need to get counseling.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 Get yourself and your baby out of that violent nasty place! Find a womans centre, be it a refuge or shelter, ask them to help you. This is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, if your baby grows up in this toxic atmosphere she will grow up believing it is normal - any chances of her having a loving caring relationship with a man when she grows up will be screwed from the start.
Its not going to be easy, it may take a few years to truly get back on your feet, emotionally, spiritually and financially, but your little baby is worth it.
go forth and blossom - be strong and stand firm.
good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): The answer here should be simple. Call the cops and have this asshole charged with abuse. Do all of this whilst he is away, and then before he gets back up and leave with the kid to a family members house.This is only going to get worse as time wears on because men (and I use this term very loosely here) like your husband often develop a taste for control. And the more you give in the more he's going go harder and hardr because he knows he'll get away with it because he has instilled fear in you.No one is EVER trapped. Just make sure that you are willing to stand up to him, because if the times comes and the cops have to get involved (they will sooner or later anyway, they always do in these situations) and you chicken out and lie to them out of fear, then you will have dug your own hole.So tkae it into our own hand NOW and make sure this asshole never hurts you again. And forgive him, but don't return to him. This way you don't get hurt physically and makes it easier to let go and put down you burden in this.So get the hell out now before you end up in Intensivve Care in a freaking coma.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Frenzotic +, writes (23 November 2009):
 Hey, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this =(
The guy is cheating on you, PUNCHING you, telling you what you CAN and CANNOT do and it seems he's HARDLY there for you or your child.
It doesn't sound like he cares or respects you girl but rather wrap you around his fingers and do what he wills...
You could try talking to him but I'm concerned for you, what with the way he physically responds.
I know leaving someone you love is very difficult...but you need to question whether he loves you. From what he's been doing...I think you should leave him, no one deserves to be controlled, physically/mentally/emotionally hurt like that. You deserve so much more than an abusive, unsupportive and cheating partner.
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