| Latest articles: Why we shouldn't cheat
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2009: Since Tiger Woods has now admitted to cheating it seems like everybody is doing it. So why not cheat? There are a lot of other respectable politicians and entertainment personalities who have done it and some even get caught doing it as well. So ...
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I don't feel I cheated, but I was awkwardly busted. Do I explain the situation to him?
Q. Thanks so much in advance for your insight(s). After years of quick flings, NSAs and not-quite-rights, (I'm 47) I all but shut down my sexual activity and adpoted a "been there done that" mentality, I'm recently re-inspired. I believe that ...
A. 30 October 2009: PNP???? NSA???? ok why couldn't you spell the entire word if you can spell every other word in this post? Anyways, I am guessing that pnp is an online dating service? if so you should not have been on there if you are happy enough in your ... (read in full...)
Is she breaking up with me? What does she mean by 'needing time alone'?
Q. If my girl friend said to me that we are not breaking up but she ask for time apart is she breaking up with me?...
A. 30 October 2009: keep up the facade you are showing her by continueing to say everything is great and DO NOT TEXT anything else other thant short simple answers. Short simple happy answers are all you should give her. Don't text her first. If she wants to break ... (read in full...)
What is so gross about breast feeding?
Q. Why do other girls give me looks when i say im breast feeding my baby? why does people think its gross? i mean thats way babys are ment to be feed. i think with it being flu season and babys die from the flu it would be selfish for me not to breast ...
A. 27 October 2009: Breastfeeding is a normal act. If anybody doesn't see it as normal then they are immature. That is all. ... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend just trying something new or was I right to react the way I did?
Q. im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. we had been fighting lately and just got back together last night. i went over his house last night and we worked it out. so we were just sitting there watching tv, him on the couch and me in the chair next to ...
A. 27 October 2009: "babe no... i dont feel like it right now, youre hurting me." he just laughed and said "just be quiet". You didn't consent to this sexual act. You said you didn't feel like it now and he was hurting you. This is the definition of rape. You sho... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I are 14, we want to have a baby, any opinions?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are deeply in love and want to have a baby. Were 14...
A. 27 October 2009: I hope you can find a way to understand that at your young age having a baby would be very difficult and cause hardship on your life and your relationship with each other. It seems like a wonderful thing until you actually have a baby and reality ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is embarrassed to be dating me because of my age!
Q. Im a 14 year old and i´m currently dating a 19 year old, but he wont tell anyone because he´s embarrassed of dating some one so young. Do you think the age difference is a problem ? ...
A. 27 October 2009: Absolutely! You are too young for him. It is not just the age but the maturity level and what a young man wants at his age from a girl. I am afraid for you because I think guys at his age are very sexual and want sex more than anything else and ... (read in full...)
He initiates "eye romances" with other women
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years, and I have been putting up with his ROVING EYES the entire time. ANY time that we go anywhere, he ALWAYS finds another female that he is attracted to... and makes no secret of it. He first ...
A. 27 October 2009: Honey I feel bad for you. If you have expressed concern about his behavior and he continues to do the same thing over and over it is disrespectful. No matter what is really going on, if you find it hurtful and he continues to do it, then it is ... (read in full...)
Is she breaking up with me? What does she mean by 'needing time alone'?
Q. If my girl friend said to me that we are not breaking up but she ask for time apart is she breaking up with me?...
A. 27 October 2009: I am sorry you are in this position. If she is asking for time alone she must need this space for whatever reason. The best thing you can do for yourself is to give her the space and DONT call her or text her or anything. If she sees that you are ... (read in full...)
My BF really scares me because he can be sweet, and then extremely abusive.
Q. [Note from Mod: Two questions from same poster] I have run out of options. I feel so run down. I am dead inside and so confused. My boyfriend will curse at me...accuse me of infidelity...throw things at me...spit on me...call me derogatory ...
A. 25 October 2009: Dump this guy asap. He is an abuser. You need to stop seeing him NOW. ... (read in full...)
What is this white gunky stuff?
Q. ok i have seen other people ask but the anwsers were stupid and from people who just don't know??? i have been having during sex this white clumpy/gummy stuff coming from my vagina?? there is no odor and i have never seen this before?? any doctor or ...
A. 25 October 2009: Yeast Infection????... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants oral, but I have memories of being forced...
Q. I am 19 years old now, and have met a guy I really like. He wants me to move in with him, and I am really looking forward to it. But I am really troubled about it to. Since living with my Mom at home, I have had the excuse not to do to much sex ...
A. 25 October 2009: You need to report this man that sexually abused you to police. You were victimized. This is NOT your fault, and you should not allow this person to get away with what he did. What if he does this to another girl? You need to be brave and stop ... (read in full...)
Girls, how would you react if your partner had a 3 inch penis?
Q. I'm wondering for myself since mine is about 3.5 inches in length and 4 inches around - when it's erect. Both sizes of which are well under average. I'm not sexually active but I'm worried that when I get to that point, I won't be able to satisfy ...
A. 25 October 2009: Girls don't care about size, really we don't. There is not much difference in how it feels to us. We just care that you tell us how beautiful we are and make a big deal about us when you see us. Trust me we are more concerned about how we look ... (read in full...)
If he ejaculates quickly does that mean he is cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and i use to be sexual active but no longer... Well if we do.. he ejaculate very quickly (in seconds). I kno he feels back but i always told him it was alright. Dont worry its not a big deal, it can be fixed. I just love him so much ...
A. 25 October 2009: I agree with everybody here, if he is not "lasting" a very long time he probably is not having sex often enough so he would not be cheating at all. ... (read in full...)
Since the divorce, my bipolar ex has made life hell for me!
Q. I am in dire need of help!!! I am a 47 year old female. I divorced my bi polar husband and we have been seperated for five years. I have not moved past the pain of the divorce. I have not accepted it and regret it. My husband was the love of my ...
A. 25 October 2009: You WILL be happy and can be happy now. You have to remember why you divorced him. He didn't live up to what you expected for a husband. You divorced because you weren't happily married. You started a relationship with another man because you ... (read in full...)
Who should I choose? I just want to be happy again.
Q. Hi, i really need some help, i don't think i've ever felt so confused in my whole life. Ok its quite complicated but here goes. Ok so i recently broke up with my boyfriend. We only really were bf and gf for 2 months, but have been seeing eachother ...
A. 22 October 2009: I think you need to get some counseling. You are never going to be completely happy because you think you need somebody to be happy. You don't need anybody. And why should you care that your "current ex" slept with a girl when you broke up with ... (read in full...)
My husband had a text affair with another woman and I can't take it anymore!
Q. Hi all, yes it's me again!!! I don't know if I mentioned before that the woman my h/band was having a 'text affair' with said that at least it was the first time she'd done it unlike my h/band?? Anyway, if so I might have mentioned that h...
A. 22 October 2009: Dump this jerk and move on.... (read in full...)
How do other women get over their husband's unfaithfulness?
Q. PLEASE, How do other women 'get over' their husband/partner's unfaithfulness??? As far as I know it was 'only texting' sexy and flirty stuff but it's just too much to bear! I can't see myself EVER being able to cope xx...
A. 22 October 2009: I am sorry you are in pain and feel so hurt by what he did. I think you should go to counseling and talk about this with a professional. Find somebody you are comfortable with and then get some counsel and that might help you to move forward in a ... (read in full...)
Need birth control and have no way to get it..HELP!
Q. I need help! I know I said im 18 but im realy 16 but I need help. I need birth control and I cant ask my mom or anyone for them?? I need advice! please help someway. My mom's outa the question ...
A. 22 October 2009: what about condoms????... (read in full...)
Ex having sex with new b/f and I can't stop thinking about it!
Q. I've already had a question regarding the break up of me and my girlfriend of 3 years. I now have a problem i'm dealing with. We've been apart for a week and 2 days now. 2 days ago, she started dating this guy. I accept that, but I continue to keep ...
A. 21 October 2009: Ok, you have to let it go. You are not with her anymore and what she does for now on is none of your business. I am sorry you are hurting. I know this is awful and like torture. It will get easier in time. If she is not with you right now there ... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...
A. 21 October 2009: Look, you don't have to say anything. It was a mistake. I think we all make mistakes. You are not married to this boyfriend. You guys have problems or I am sure you would not have cheated on him. You both need to communicate better or end your ... (read in full...)
Ex is being mean to our friends and now to me too!
Q. Hey everyone. I really appreciate any thooughts or opinions anyone can give me on this problem. My boyfriend broke up with me during the summer and I found it really really hard. A lot of the time it looked like we were going to get back together ...
A. 21 October 2009: I feel like there is information missing from this post because it doesn't make sense that he would break up with you and then be angry about it and act this way. Is there anything else going on that you didn't mention? For instance why did you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks it's okay to do things to me I don't like. What should I do?
Q. I have a bit of a problem with my boyfriend. He constantly doesn't do things i ask of him. For e.g He will call me chubby (like a pet name as such) and i tell him i dont like it, its offensive and it's putting me down (i'm not chubby at all, ...
A. 18 October 2009: oh my gosh, this sounds like my exhusband. Does anything get through to these men? I mean if you tell him this bothers you, he should stop doing it if he respects your feelings, don't you think? That is one thing that really drove me crazy with my ... (read in full...)
Am I not good enough for a proposal?
Q. My bf and I have known each other since we were 12 years old and liked each other since 12 years old but only dated for the last 3 1/2 years. We are both 24 years old. He is turning 25 next Feb and I am turning 25 next May. We have been through ...
A. 18 October 2009: I hear your pain while reading this post. I see that you love him dearly. I wish for you that he would propose so that you can feel secure in this relationship and know that you have a definite future with him and that all your hard work on this ... (read in full...)
Is she a selfish bitch? Or just messed up?
Q. Okay, so my question may not be as alerting as most, maybe even average, but i still need help, this has been stuck in my mind since april this year, I started dating this girl in november of last year, nothin to big at first, actually just fr...
A. 18 October 2009: I would agree that she is unstable. She is difficult at best to have a loving caring relationship with so you should not dwell on the past and move on. I know she obviously has a piece of your heart but don't let her get the whole thing, she will ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in this relationship any longer, what should I do?
Q. What should i do? I have been in a relationship for 3 years and out of the 3 most of it has been arguments over me cheating. I have not cheated and stayed true through out the relationship, now its to the point where i dont wanna be in this anymore. ...
A. 18 October 2009: I can see you are struggling with breaking up with this person because you care about his feelings. If he doesn't trust you, then he has issues that you cannot change. Especially since you have been faithful all along. You don't need to be in a ... (read in full...)
How do I trust my boyfriend again after his sex addiction?
Q. I need advice on how to deal with my boyfriends sexual addiction. He is currently in therapy, has been for about a month and a half. How do I begin to trust him again? ...
A. 18 October 2009: Trust takes a long time to rebuild. It doesn't happen in just a month or even a year. It is a work in progress. He has to continue to show you that he is relentlessly working on himself and will not stop ever. This is his issue for a lifetime. ... (read in full...)
My husband gives lifts home to a younger colleague when it's unncessary. Is something going on? Should I tell him to stop?
Q. My problem is that the other evening on a night out with my husbands works colleagues, he admitted to me that he sometimes gave a lift home to one of the office girls "as it is on the way home" now I was most surprised to hear this, as firstly it is ...
A. 18 October 2009: He is to NO LONGER give any girl a "lift" home. He cannot do this and say there is nothing going on. He either has something going on or wishes something was going on. Just tell him it is not acceptable and you don't give young men rides home ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated, filed for divorce, judge said go to counseling! I want out!
Q. I found out off a very close friend that my husband had been having an affair with another woman. She works in an Italian restaurant/pizzeria [her family runs it] and was serving another customer when she recognized my husband with another wom...
A. 18 October 2009: This judge has no right to make you try to work out something that you feel is irreconciable (did I spell that right?). You cannot reconcile this relationship because you would always be wonder if he would do this again and what he is doing when he ... (read in full...)
So in love, must we part?
Q. I love my guy very much. He loves me very much. After three years he is not even ready to live with me and I am ready to get married. Today I am crying at my house and he is crying at his. because how can two people break up who are so right for...
A. 18 October 2009: oh my god, big big hugs to you. I wish I could give you a hug. I don't know how to answer your question. I don't know if some guys are ever ready to really settle down. Some men are and some aren't. It is not your fault in anyway. But if you are ... (read in full...)
Medical condition left me unable to have children. Do I deserve to be with anyone?
Q. I'm 25 years old. Because of a medical condition, my doctor told me it'll be hard for me to have children in the future. This news has shattered my dreams of experiencing childbirth and being a mother, and I feel bad for my boyfriend because it ...
A. 16 October 2009: There are lots of people who do not want children or who would be very happy adopting a child instead of having their own. You are NOT defective. I understand. I cannot have children. I am dating a guy that likes me for me and doesn't care if I ... (read in full...)
Am I being abused?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Things in the relationship were fine at first but then he started acting very strange. He started getting very jealous whenever I would hang out with male friends but said that it was because he was afraid of ...
A. 11 October 2009: You are being abused. He also is a drug addict. Let this guy go..... He is not a good person and should not be somebody you want to be around anymore.... (read in full...)
My husband's friend said that he really likes me! What should I do?
Q. Husband's friend says my husband should b nicer to me. He said that he really likes me. He doesn't want to break us up, he says. But should I be wary anyway? He's always nice to me, teasing,ect.Hopefully he will b moving to Houston in 2 months 4 ...
A. 11 October 2009: Ok, your HUBSANDS friend said this? Right there is your answer.... YOUR HUSBAND??? tell this guy to take a hike, you are in a commited relationship. Don't even think about this guy ever again. If he says anything to you or gives you attention, ... (read in full...)
He's nasty to me - why?
Q. Please help, I am in a 3 month relationship with a guy younger than me by 8 years.When we first dated he lied about his age and I found his ID Doc. but he doesn't know that I know his real age. I found out that he was cheating just a month after we ...
A. 11 October 2009: He has trust issues and has insecurity about himself. You should consider ending this relationship. It won't change and you will be under a lot of stress if you continue and he doesn't change. I am sorry you are going through this. Can you talk ... (read in full...)
Could I have harmed my baby?
Q. okay so i have just found out i am 11 weeks pregnant - do you think my alcohol intake would have effected my pregnancy 3 weeks ago i had - 1 Litre of cider 2 weeks ago i had - 2 litres this week end all together 6 glasses of cider ...
A. 11 October 2009: I think that if you continue to drink throughout the pregnancy which obviously you would never consider doing you would harm the fetus but as of now the baby should be fine as long as you continue to care for yourself from this point forward. You ... (read in full...)
Now that I'm pregnant, he doesn't seem around anymore! How can I get through this?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and I am expecting a baby In December. Our life used to be great together, we would have so much fun and i felt so loved and cared for. We spent all of our time together and he treated me ...
A. 7 October 2009: I am sorry you are feeling this way. ((Big hugs)) Either he might be scared of having this new responsibility and he thinks he needs to get all his fun stuff done prior to the baby coming or maybe he is just plain scared of responsibility. This ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out what's wrong with my relationship!
Q. Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 11 months now. We both graduated college. He has a job and Im still looking for one. He lives about 45 minutes away from me so we get to see each other about 2 times a week. Other th...
A. 7 October 2009: Maybe you both are just tired. I mean it sounds like he works hard and you are working hard looking for a job. You both have different schedules now. And you are not in the honeymoon stage of the relationship anymore, that will change things as ... (read in full...)
Should I listen to my heart or my head?
Q. Hello, I'd like some advice on how to get my heart to listen to my head, or whether I should carry on as I am. A month ago, I split up with my bf of 9 years. We were happy for 7 years, lived together for 5 years, but then split up in May 2008 when ...
A. 7 October 2009: He is not faithful to you and doesn't deserve your loyalty or love at this point. You deserve somebody that you can completely trust and can love with all your heart and know that your love will be returned back to you and not anybody else. You ... (read in full...)
The love of my life adds pornstars to his facebook!
Q. My boyfriend is the love of my life, an utterly lovely man, but also a very naughty, horny man. He likes his porno films and has tons. I've never minded this as I do like it to, but recently he's started adding the pornstar girls on his facebook.. ...
A. 7 October 2009: I think that if he wants to show his respect for your feelings he should remove these women from his facebook page. It is disrespectful to your feelings if he doesn't remove them.... (read in full...)
I need help! Wife is cheating!
Q. I've been married for 6 years and its been hard. My wife and I have two kids. Now, a couple of years ago she cheated on me when she went out with some friends to santa monica to spend the night. She sadi she thought someone gave her sonething ...
A. 26 August 2009: SEx online? How does that happen? anyways, this relationship sounds dysfunctional and needs real therapy or if not you should probably end it and just take it one day at a time thereafter. Ending a relationship is hard, but can bring you ... (read in full...)
Should I consider my wife holding another man's hand as cheating?
Q. I asked a question a few weeks ago regarding staying in my marriage. Well, a new development has happened. In talking with my wife she felt it "necessary" to tell me that on a business trip about 4 years ago she had too much to drink with a male ...
A. 26 August 2009: Let's see here, this happened 4 years ago??? I would let it go. It was a long long time ago and now apparently it means nothing to anyone. Even if something else happened, it was 4 years ago. She is still with you? She still loves you? You ... (read in full...)
What's the worst that can happen if I don't treat my yeast infection?
Q. what's the worst that can happen if i don't treat my yeast infection?...
A. 26 August 2009: I would say that you will go insane with the irritation and itch and not feel well until you acutally treat the yeast infection. I have never met anybody who would not want to get the yeast infection cured asap to start feeling better.... (read in full...)
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