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Is sex painful?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2009)
A female Lesotho age 30-35, *eezy writes:

I love my boyfriend of 2 years with all my heart,the problem is when we kiss, whenever he feels horny and asks for sex, I get really scared, is sex really that bad and is it painful?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009):

... Didn't hurt me, it felt really nice! And my first time.. I was on top!

.. Although i was 18 and he was 17 (and not a virgin) at the time.. We'd been together for around 6 months and had been doing the 'i love yous' from the second month.. We never talked about sex but practiced alot of foreplay and dry-humping.. lol! .. We spent most of 2006 and the first half of 2007 in a lip lock! ... One night we were kissing and it just happened..

.. ONE THING that i cannot stress to you enough is to make sure that your first time experience will be a cherished memory.. Go the whole nine yards! Im talking romance, candles, music.. Whatever floats your boat?!!? Do it!!

I am now 21 and am still with 'that guy'! I dont have any regrets losing my virginity to the man who i know i will be with forever..

... At your age though... I probably wouldn't.. Your still really young! 'Sup to you though bb! Just make sure that you truly trust, love and care about him and that your feelings are being returned..xXx

P.S: Once you pop, you can't stop.. You'll see what i mean!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009):

hey, i am in the same boat with you. i am between the ages of 13 and 15 too. i love my boyfriend with all of my heart too. and we had a talk about sex. he is so nice and he respects me and my wishes. i just feel bad when i tell him no, right? well, i am scared too that it will be painful and i can see how it will be. i would wait until you get up enough courage. it may hurt really bad. i am not into pain either. i would wait. i wouldn't say that you are waaay too young and be a hater and all that lol. i mean cause i think like 9 would be too young and stuff cause like at our age people have hormones buzzing and we can have sex and stuff. it's definately not for little kids. lol. well, i hope it all goes well with you and that guy.

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A female reader, bitch United States +, writes (24 November 2009):

Please do not have sex at your young age. Please just don't do it. I think you are absolutely not ready and you should wait until you are. I waited until I was out of high school because I wasn't ready until then, and that is OK! If you feel like you want to wait until you are much older, please wait. If your boyfriend doesn't understand then break up with him because you are too precious and so is your virginity. Be proud to be a virgin and be proud to save yourself until YOU want to have sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

you are far to young to think about it. make sure ur in love ul regret it if things dont work out just wait until you are older

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A male reader, xynebrutalis United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

xynebrutalis agony auntI know I'm a guy but let me throw in my two cents. At your age you need to wait. For one, you and your boyfriend could end up breaking up anytime, thats apart of life. You don't want to regret loosing your virginity this early in your life. Two years is a long time, but you say you love him, if he loves you he'll respect your wish to wait. And also there are other things you can do besides sex. Hope this helps. - Rick

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

it's painful it hurts bad. don't do it. save it for marriage.

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A female reader, patient66 Canada +, writes (23 November 2009):

It hurt for me but it doesnt with everyone. It's not bad because you want to be with that person and it over powers everything else. Just try to have fun with it and make sure your pleasured too and it wont be bad. : )

Dont be scared about it, it's something you do with someone you love. It's a whole other connection with them.

Wait until your ready, dont get pushed into it.

Good Luck xo

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A female reader, old-spinstah United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2009):

It's a little bit painful, honey, but not that bad. It varies from person to person but it doesn't last that long. However it will be much more painful if you are tense, anxious or scared.

I think you need to wait until you don't feel scared about the idea. You need to feel comfortable and you are still very young. Don't let him pressure you into it.

Take care

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

yeah for some people it can be painful it depends, the pain only lasts for a little while, in time the pain goes. some girls are lucky and dont have any pain at all. if you love him and feel ready for sex then do it, but if you feel you are not ready then dont until you know for sure your ready.

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A female reader, Kendra0589 United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

Kendra0589 agony auntHi. I recently had sex for the first time about two months ago I have to admit it does hurt. I had sex a second time and it still hurt. The thing that caused me problems was that I was very scared because I had tried to have sex before and it hurt so bad that I was scared to try again. You probably will bleed a little because of your hymen being broken. That's a thin layer of skin covering the opening of your vagina. If you're afraid you shouldn't do it and I hate to sound preachy but you are so young. Just because your boyfriend wants to have sex doesn't mean you have to when you're not ready. Sex isn't going anywhere wait until you feel you are ready :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

Some people say that sex is painful the first time, but only a little for the first couple minutes (or not even). However, this isn't the case for everyone.

But if you are not ready and don't feel comfortable with the idea of having sex, do not do it. Even if you love him, it doesn't mean that you have to have sex with him right now. You can still wait if you want to.

Good luck

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