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*attista

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My boyfriend ABANDONED ME far from home today!

Q.   THIS IS A LONG ONE BUT PLEASE READ ALL OF IT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK: First of all, we have been together for 3 years. We're both 22 years old. We just moved in together a few months ago. We're both going to the same college full time. ...

A.   30 October 2012: Hi OP This is an awful story and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I would say that leaving you to walk home is the least worst thing about this. Your boyfriend is abusive and disrespectful. You need to leave him as this behaviour i... (read in full...)

We want to settle down and have a baby. Getting our finances right to buy not rent is the aim. Have you achieved this goal successfully? How?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for just over 3 years and we really want to get our own place. We don't want to rent as we feel that we will be wasting money paying the rent each month and at the end of it we will have nothing ...

A.   25 October 2012: It's definitely possible. It also depends on the part of the country you live in as far as house prices go so you may need to get some mortgage advice once you start on your new salaries in order to see how much the banks are prepared to lend you.... (read in full...)

How can I tell my parents that when I finish university I want to take up the guitar professionally? They will have to pay $40,000 a year for me to do so.....

Q.   Hi, this isn't a relationship question but I'd really like some outside opinions on this problem. I am currently attending university, studying criminology and going into my 3rd year. However back when I started 1st year I had started to play ...

A.   17 September 2012: I don't think that your parents will worry too much if you are really serious about becoming a guitarist. However, I do think they will be concerned about being asked to pay for it. I don't understand why you think your parents should cover the cost ... (read in full...)

How can I handle this awkward situation? met on X-box. She's 22 with a baby. I'm 16

Q.   Hell. Ok so here is my story, i met this great person on a game on xbox live, a few months ago. we talked for a little while and added each other on facebook and have talked on there. By the way im a 16 year old guy and she is 22 (not sure if this ...

A.   17 September 2012: OP I don't think it's just the age which is a problem here. The two of you have nothing in common (seemingly) except playing on the xbox. Maybe there are other things but you haven't listed them here. You've never met each other, you live several ... (read in full...)

Is my separation Anxiety ruining my relationship?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for coming up to a year. We are in a long distance relationship. He lives in one part of the country and I live in a distant part of the country. We see each other every other weekend or so. He recently came ...

A.   8 September 2012: Hi OP I know that being in an LDR is emotionally exhausting anyway, and that combined with your SAD must make things very hard for you. Abella has given you some EXCELLENT advice there, and there isn't much I can add. I would say though, that... (read in full...)

Should I get the gastric bypass surgery done?

Q.   I'm 16 almost 17, I have always been overweight and at this time in my life I think I'm ready to move forward and start working to lose my weight. I'm in the 300s and I'd really love to lose this. I know people are going to say your young and w...

A.   6 September 2012: I vote no! You have already been offered some brilliant advice here, and I haven't got much to add to it. I would say, however, that both people I know who have had a gastric band have put nearly all the weight back on a few years later. They hav... (read in full...)

Should my boyfriend pay something if he moves into my house?

Q.   My bf and i will soon be moving in together - he will be moving into my house. We have already agreed on that we will split the utilities bills and food. However he doesnt think he should pay anything weekly. Obviously i am not looking to make any ...

A.   4 September 2012: If you don't want him to pay the mortgage or rates then I don't know what else you do want him to pay for other than what you've already mentioned. One solution could be to split things a different way: How about you split food and council tax,... (read in full...)

Should I tell him he Isn't the father and risk losing him or keep it from him?

Q.   Ok I hope this doesen't sound too shallow...I recently got pregnant with an ex who is a complete and utter ass as well as verbally abusive to me. Shortly after the break-up my best friend introduced me to a friend of her's who is the sweetest most ...

A.   8 August 2012: Apart from the obvious issue that it's completely morally wrong to tell this man that the baby is his simply because you don't want to lose your boyfriend, won't he be able to calculate that the dates are wrong when you go for dating scans at the ... (read in full...)

I love her but our attitudes to our children differ. She resents the time I spend with my sons. Can we make this relationship work?

Q.   I have this dilemma. I think I know the answer, I think I know what's right. But, damn. I really need some some brutal honesty. I have been dating this 45 year old woman for over 18 months. She has 3 boys, I have 2 boys. Started as long distance...

A.   3 August 2012: Hey OP You've already had some excellent advice here, and there isn't much I can add. However, I would say that you seem to have come to the right conclusions of your own accord- you should move back to Texas, to your friends, family and most imp... (read in full...)

I found his latest sext offensive!

Q.   Hi, me and my LDR boyfriend have recently started sexting which I started (weve been together 7 months and started having sex after 4). I recently received a text saying how(this has been edited) he "can't wait to p***d a vi****** into you and hear ...

A.   8 July 2012: Well, it depends on what the rest of them are like. Is this particularly different from the other ones?... (read in full...)

My wife is offended that I don't want cigarette smoking in our new home. What do I do?

Q.   So, me and my wife have this disagreement, it feels like tit-for-tat in alot of ways, so, what do you think? A while ago, we decided to buy a home, and i was planning to give her a puppy, she loves them, who doesn't right? But today, she dropped...

A.   6 July 2012: Smoking in the house is a bad thing to do. Not only is it unpleasant for others, but it also makes a house reek. A friend of mine recently bought a house which had been owned by a smoker and the place needed new carpets, new wallpaper, you name it. ... (read in full...)

Is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else?

Q.   Hi there. Okay, I've been texting this guy my friend is setting me up with, but the guy already has a girlfriend. I do really like him, and my question is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else. Their relationship is rocky ac...

A.   5 July 2012: I don't think the follow-up has any bearing on the issue. If she is so bad then surely he will wise up, leave her and ask you out himself?... (read in full...)

What day should I go to London for the convention? And what clothes should I take?

Q.   I'm staying at my friend's house in London this weekend for one night,as we are going to a convention on Saturday, but i'm not sure which night would be best to arrive there?. I'll write down the pros and cons of both and you can let me know what ...

A.   5 July 2012: Have you looked into booking an advanced ticket? Even if you book the day before you can find some good savings if you look for two single tickets rather than a return. I think that as the train cost is your major outlay I would say it's worth sp... (read in full...)

What day should I go to London for the convention? And what clothes should I take?

Q.   I'm staying at my friend's house in London this weekend for one night,as we are going to a convention on Saturday, but i'm not sure which night would be best to arrive there?. I'll write down the pros and cons of both and you can let me know what ...

A.   4 July 2012: Is it not possible that you can stay for 2 nights, ie. Friday and Saturday? Has she said you can only stay for one? Does she live rurally? I mean, does she have to pick you up from a station? If you're worried about her getting to the station ... (read in full...)

I feel really upset that he keeps demanding things from me that I cannot afford!

Q.   Dear all, A few months ago I found out my boyfriend had been naked webcamming for hours with other girls and sending pictures of himself to them. There were also very explicit photos of naked girls on his computer from these conversations in a sec...

A.   29 June 2012: You should pay for the TV and dump him. He cheated on you so you shouldn't give him a second chance. However, the fact he cheated on you doesn't mean you are not responsible for the TV, and the way he treats you is irrelevant to the fact that you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has become so controlling it's a problem but I can't break up with him because I love him!

Q.   I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been in a serious committed relationship for almost a year. At first I wasn't very expressive and romantic towards him cuz I was just getting to know him and I am a very shy person.. He was very patient and kind ...

A.   29 June 2012: You must break up with this man. I am sure that you do love him, but that just isn't enough sometimes. It is certainly not enough when the other partner is abusive and controlling. Please get yourself out of this situation, it's only going to get ... (read in full...)

Can I trust him? He clicked like on her profile!

Q.   This is probably going to be the silliest question I've ever asked and I'm a bit embarrassed asking advice on this but the other day my boyfriend " liked " a girls picture on Facebook. He says it was his friend but since then it's made me very ...

A.   27 June 2012: Are you trust issues with your bf related to something he's done in the past to make him lose trust or do you think they are more due to your own securities? I don't thinking clicking on a photo is anything to worry about per se, but perhaps ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between my head- boyfriend, job, house and my heart- family,friends and moments I will never have again..and I don't know what to choose

Q.   Hi, Im 20 been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now.i moved from a small town in scotland to a big city to be with him. Everythings been great we get on well and been through so much together. We both have okay jobs here and an okay house. ...

A.   18 June 2012: OP I'm in a similar position. I live with my husband many miles away from my family. It takes a day for me to get home which makes it both time consuming and expensive to visit. I would also love to move back, however, at the moment, it's not conv... (read in full...)

My BF says he doesn't need to wear a condom because he smokes.... is this true?

Q.   My boyfriend smokes so should he wear a condom when we start to have sex because I've heard it's more difficult for a girl to get pregnant from a boy who smokes cigarettes?...

A.   15 June 2012: Apart from anything else if you don't use a condom you are not protected from STDs. Please use a condom. Where did you hear this idea?... (read in full...)

I think he is being selfish and childish by not considering me!

Q.   So, the other night my boyfriend and I broke up after a serious fight. I've had troubles with depression my whole life and sometimes they would affect our relationship, due to my self insecurities, I would sometimes doubt him and our entire ...

A.   11 June 2012: Hey OP I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. But I think you need to stop blaming your boyfriend- he doesn't need any "excuses" about how to deal with depression. I also suspect that having grown up with a depressive mother he might just be e... (read in full...)

She says she feels snubbed by my family

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm in what feels like a ridiculous situation and I'm just looking for some clarity, and confirmation that I am not the one who is completely crazy! Here goes... I'm in a relationship with a girl and we've been together 8 1/2 m...

A.   7 June 2012: The problem I can see OP, and probably what your gf sees, are that your reasons for not inviting her all seem to be "logistics", and nothing that would actually have been a big deal- especially as the onus would have been on HER to get her stuff ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it

Q.   Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...

A.   5 June 2012: OP you've already been given some excellent advice. You have to remember that what you construe as criticism may actually be good advice even if you don't really want to hear it. There are hundreds of things you can do to keep busy. I used to ... (read in full...)

Weight loss tips needed

Q.   Hey there ,I'm trying to lose some weight, but my weight it is very stubborn, and does not want to move. I tried to eat healthy , 1200 calorie, and walk everyday, but it just not going anywhere. Is there any idea what works to start to drop the ...

A.   20 May 2012: 1200 calories isn't very much. You need to take into account both your weight and height as far as how much you should be eating. You might find that 1200 is too little for you and that your metabolism is slowing down because your body isn't getting ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend was ill on my birthday and I didnt get to see him, should I be mad at him for this?

Q.   Do you think i should be mad at my boyfriend for this ?. He has been ill with flu for a few days, and it was my birthday yesterday, but he didn't meet up with me. I was supposed to go round to his house for a few hours. I wanted to go out somewhere ...

A.   17 May 2012: I don't really think there is anything to talk about. He was ill on your birthday so arranged to see you when he was better. You had your birthday with your family. The site says you are aged 26-29. I don't know what it is that you actually wa... (read in full...)

Would you learn a different language to be with someone?

Q.   Here's the story. There's this girl that works with me. Before last week I never talked to her before. I would catch her looking at me from time to time. Always staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking. Most of the times I didn't know what to ...

A.   3 May 2012: Yes do it! You can teach each other a bit of your own languages and have a good time in the process. Learning a new language is one of the best things you can do. It really broadens your horizons. If you want to make a start then get a CD or mp3 l... (read in full...)

How do I handle the fears of my girlfriend that I will get hurt climbing to the summit? It is my dream to do this climb

Q.   Ok, so next year, I am scheduled to climb to the summit of Mt Everest, the worlds tallest mountain. This has been my dream ever since I was a little boy. I am taking up a particular route to the summit. Yesterday I was watching a video of an area ...

A.   24 April 2012: Follow your dream. I'm sure you will be with others who are highly experienced as well. If you have the chance to reach the summit then you really must go for it, if that's what you have always wanted. I'm sure your gf is upset but it's selfish of ... (read in full...)

What is the obsession with MILF?

Q.   What is the obsession with milfs? Apparently it's something to do with experience but you can get a woman with no children who has lots of experience. I can imagine in porn liking watching a person who is supposedly a mother behaving badly, but in ...

A.   17 April 2012: I don't think it's a real obsession for anyone. It's usually something men say as a bit of a joke isn't it? Similarly to when women like older men, someone like George Clooney, say. I didn't think that the "mother" bit necessarily meant having had ... (read in full...)

Fiance has lost her trust in me because I sext other women

Q.   I need some advice, Me and my fiance have been together for nearly 2 years and we have been fine. However, there have been times where for some reason I would sext other women. I can't say for sure why I did it, I just did. When she found out ab...

A.   15 April 2012: Probably not as once trust is lost it is very hard to get back. You've got a track record now so she has no grounds to believe you if you tell her you won't do it again. ... (read in full...)

Should I go to Paris alone?

Q.   My parents have offered me an amazing deal, but i'm not sure if I should do it.. They asked if I wanted to go to paris for the weekend by myself, as an independent experience and to see Paris as i've always talked about. Sure it'd be incredible an...

A.   22 January 2012: OP you should go for it. Your mum is right. I'm sure after two days you will be looking forward to another trip! I've been to lots of cities on my own (as a young woman), and I never had any trouble. You just have to use common sense, as chig... (read in full...)

My Gf has asked me for £50, I said No, was I wrong?

Q.   Hi all, been with my gf for 3 years she has never worked (she is 19) and neither has her mum I have worked since I left school. I spend quite alot on her having to buy food lending her bus money etc etc sometimes it annoys me sometimes it doesn't. ...

A.   20 December 2011: OP you are correct. She has no right to expect to be able to borrow money from you. Is she actively looking for work? Incidentally, any legitimate modelling agency would never ask for money upfront, even if they say they will pay it back afterwar... (read in full...)

I feel like he totally missed the boat on the whole chivarly thing.

Q.   We had a big snow storm today. After work my car was frozen shut. I called my husband who drives a 4WHD truck to come pick me up. While waiting my boss poured some rubbing alcohol on the door jam and viola it opened. I called my husband but he had ...

A.   19 December 2011: OP your most recent follow-up is very illuminating. In the light of this I think my advice may have been off course. I think if you had told us about the amount of stuff you have do to, or choose to do, compared to what your husband does, then ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend pressures me to have sex and I hate it

Q.   My boyfriend always wants sex and I hate sex more than anything. Is it normal for me to feel so guilty for saying no. he gives me this rude attitude after I tell him my answer, helpppp I dont know what to do. I have talked to him about it a ...

A.   11 December 2011: What have you actually said to him when you've tried to talk to him? And what does he say about things? I think you two are mismatched and you're probably both better off finding someone more compatible. You shouldn't have to feel pressure... (read in full...)

I feel like he totally missed the boat on the whole chivarly thing.

Q.   We had a big snow storm today. After work my car was frozen shut. I called my husband who drives a 4WHD truck to come pick me up. While waiting my boss poured some rubbing alcohol on the door jam and viola it opened. I called my husband but he had ...

A.   9 December 2011: OP I think a lot of women will disagree with your point of view. I myself disagree profoundly. I wouldn't expect my husband to go and defrost my windows, just as I don't expect to have to do all the cooking/cleaning/shopping/childcare, simply ... (read in full...)

Jealous of my bf's female colleague... thinking of breaking up with bf! Help!

Q.   i have been with my bf for 3 yrs and we love each other. i am sure he will not cheat on me, but there are other times that i felt offended or hurt unintentionally. specifically, there's this one female coworker that i am very jealous of. she hitched ...

A.   8 December 2011: OP do you work? Or go to uni or college? And do you have male colleagues or peers? If you do then surely you must come into contact with the male of the species on a daily basis. How does your bf feel about this?... (read in full...)

My Gf got pissed that I dropped some rice in her bowl of soup, that I was angry at her and that I didn't call her, and now we shouldn't see each other till the end of the year! How trivial is that!!

Q.   My gf and I are mad at each other. We’ve dated for about 16 months. I’m 27 and she’s 26. We’re each other's first gf/bf. We were eating at a buffet along with her sister. My gf returned to the table with a small bowl of soup and placed it on the...

A.   5 December 2011: Everyone has given you great advice already so I will only add in a few words here. She knows she can treat you like this because she knows she can get away with it. By threatening to break up she knows that you won't want that and will therefor... (read in full...)

My wife's ex-boyfriend contacted her after 20 years of no contact. I am not sure what to think about this.

Q.   My wife's ex-boyfriend (the one prior to me) contacted her after 20 years of no contact. I have been with my wife for 19 years. My wife did not tell me about this. I discovered it when I saw a strange number on her cell phone bill. I confront...

A.   5 December 2011: I would say you are being unreasonable, and I would also say that you seem to have a very low opinion of your wife. Why on earth would you instantly assume your wife would want to rekindle a sexual relationship with an ex from 20 years ago? Do ... (read in full...)

Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?

Q.   Just want some readers opinions on this. I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so. It's making me nervo...

A.   30 November 2011: The thing is, there's nothing your bf can do, especially at the moment, so he is trying to be pragmatic about things I would have thought. Go and see a doctor and get a professional opinion. KC100 is right and has some great advice there. ... (read in full...)

He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   29 November 2011: OP don't worry about multiple posts; it's easy to see why this is a difficult decision for you to make. However, as an outsider it does not seem like a difficult decision. Your follow-up doesn't change my previous advice. I would add the followin... (read in full...)

My gran has cancer and I want her to be around to see me get married and have kids....should I talk to my partner about getting married sooner?

Q.   Just wondering if others can offer some advice. My gran, who i am really close to is in her 80s. I have always had this wish that she could be around to see me marry and provide her a great grandchild. WHen my grandfather passed away, it made me...

A.   24 November 2011: ....OP I just wanted to clarify something. We we already planning our wedding when we were thinking of bringing it forward. Are you and your partner engaged? That will also make a difference if you are not, I guess. Caring Guy (once again) mak... (read in full...)

Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa?

Q.   I'm a virgin. 30 years old and no prospects. I'm slim good looking etc etc but its just not happened. Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa? I've been given the opportunity to teach Aids awareness in East Africa for about a ...

A.   24 November 2011: Hey OP Caring Guy is right, you sound pretty hard on yourself! As far as Africa goes, I think it is a great opportunity full stop. If you've got the chance to travel, meet new people, teach a valuable subject and (I'm assuming) get paid, then g... (read in full...)

My gran has cancer and I want her to be around to see me get married and have kids....should I talk to my partner about getting married sooner?

Q.   Just wondering if others can offer some advice. My gran, who i am really close to is in her 80s. I have always had this wish that she could be around to see me marry and provide her a great grandchild. WHen my grandfather passed away, it made me...

A.   24 November 2011: OP I was in almost exact circumstances a couple of years ago. My partner was happy to bring the wedding forward. However, we didn't go through with it in the end. We had planned to have the wedding only a few months after my relative receive... (read in full...)

He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   21 November 2011: ....in fact I think this is at least the third time you have posted this but I do not have links for the other questions. That is not a problem however. I want to second Miamine in saying that people are always here to offer advice where they can... (read in full...)

He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   21 November 2011: OP I appreciate that you don't have anyone to talk to, however, it strikes me that everyone keeps giving you the same advice, but that you don't want to take it. I don't know if you are expecting everyone to change their minds and suddenly see that ... (read in full...)

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