A
female
age
30-35,
*ndieCindy
writes:This is probably going to be the silliest question I've ever asked and I'm a bit embarrassed asking advice on this but the other day my boyfriend " liked " a girls picture on Facebook. He says it was his friend but since then it's made me very paranoid. I don't trust him now and I feel like he's checking out girls all the time. He says he only liked it because it's a " good " picture and he doesn't fancy her or want to be with her. I'm just very insecure with my looks and body and feel like I'm fat and unattractive. I've spoken to him about this and he went crazy because he felt like he couldn't do something as innocent and felt I was being crazy. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not but I do really love my boyfriend but any trust him. Hes going on a guys holiday in 2 weeks and I'm also very worried about that. I just want to trust my boyfriend and have a happy relationship, we've spoken about going on holiday next year together but really want to get over my trust issues. We've been together for nearly a year now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): im sorry but i hate girls that do this. if you dont trust him then leave him because your insecurity's are going to ruin the relationship. yes he liked a picture, so wat? if you can look in a mirror and say you looked at a bunch of pictures and didnt like any of them then u are a saint. only difference is that he said it. at least you know he likes it wasnt doing something behind your back like you are trying to read into and create some senario that you will probably end up convincing yourself is true. there is absolutly nothing wrong with liking the way someone looks because i know you do.you are only asking this because "it's different" because ur scared and insecure. i already know this is your thought " i can trust myself because i know what i do but i dont know about him"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): My boyfriend liked a picture of an old classmate of ours on Facebook. Of course, she was the one out of all the class members that has held her looks together after all these years. At first I wasn't happy that he did that, but now I don't care.
It's just insecurity coming into play. I wouldn't read anything into it. If was posting likes on a lot of girls pictures and posting comments, then I would be concerned.
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (27 June 2012):
Are you trust issues with your bf related to something he's done in the past to make him lose trust or do you think they are more due to your own securities?
I don't thinking clicking on a photo is anything to worry about per se, but perhaps there is some background to the story you haven't told us yet?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 June 2012):
 If there isn't more to it, then what you have written I think you are grossly overreacting and holds no trust in your guy.
Honey, you can not look to your BF as the ONLY source for your self-esteem. YOU need to learn to love YOU, for others to do so too. If you are only OK with yourself as long as he doesn't look/talk/glace at other women you have a problem. Little of 50% of the worlds population ARE females. And he will look at them. He will talk to girls (without wanting to date them or have sex with them)
HE overreacted too, by going "crazy (as you call it) but I honestly see his point, if you freak out over what pictures he "likes" and make him feel like he did something AWFUL, when all he did was hit a "like" on a picture of his female friends Facebook. If you can't handle that.. I suggest you stay of his page.
Let his BOYS vacation be a "test run" for that whole trust thing you need to work on. EVERY time your mind goes into over thinking you need to stop yourself. Spend the time he is away with friends and family. WISH him a good vacation.
Trusting someone isn't easy, but having a relationship without trust is not really possible in the long run.
Work on yourself while he is gone. Figure out what it is about YOU, you don't like. Is it something you can fix? Or is it something you can't, then work around it. You don't have to be perfect, or even try to be. You really think your BF would be with you if he saw you as you see yourself? I think he doesn't even see the negative about you, maybe you could learn from that?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 June 2012):
 If the way you lay it out is all that's going on then you are over reacting.
I like photos on face book (or statuses) all the time, it does not mean I fancy the fellow or the woman or want anything from them other than facebook friends...
if you are constantly insecure and crazy that makes men nuts.
I have gained some weight recently and I feel fat and unattractive and want to lose a bit. I kept thinking my man did not like it either... what I found out was that he does like it but he can't stand my going on and on about being too fat... JUST accept it or lose it... but don't WHINE about it...
men like action not words...
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female
reader, Candycane1234 +, writes (27 June 2012):
 What was the picture like, was it a silly picture? Perhaps the picture had a meaning that he understood and found funny or something.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 June 2012):
 I suppose it depends on the kind of photo. If it was a photo of her showing off her cleavage in a new bikini, that's pretty disrespectful and insensitive. If it truly is just a nice photo, like a well-done senior photo or something, then yes you are over-reacting.
I don't mean to say I don't understand where you're coming from, I totally do, but now with facebook this is just how people behave. The lines of what is OK and what isn't have been blurred.
The only thing that concerns me is that he blew up when you asked him about it. Did you confront him in an angry way, had this come after a recent fight? Is there some other context?
People have always looked at other people and noticed their attractiveness. Most of the time easy it's to ignore. But Facebook puts that front and center so you can't easily hide from it.
My advice is to stop checking his facebook. Change your news feed so it shows fewer of his posts and activities. He's not going to cheat on you through public facebook comments and all they do is make you insecure, so just remove them.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (27 June 2012):
 Perhaps there is more in this that you haven't put down here - I get the feeling there might be. Is there a pattern of him having a roving eye? Has he never gone on a guys trip before? How long have you been together?
Basis the information provided, it appears that you are over-reacting a wee bit. Try to step back and figure out whether you are with this guy because you like him or are you establishing a "needy" dependency on him?
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female
reader, PrivateGirl  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 I think you and your boyfriend need to talk about boundaries, what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship. Is flirting ok? where does it cut off? What do you consider cheating?
What the consequences would be if it happened etc.
Accusing him will only drive him away and create a barrier in your relationship.
And as far as thinking you're un-attractive that's something you need to work on. Loving and respecting yourself is paramount.
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female
reader, justmen +, writes (27 June 2012):
 The answer is in your question. You say "I don't trust him". Honor your instinct. Intuition is seldom if not never wrong. By the time someone asks "should I trust him" or begins monitoring their partner, they already know the answer.
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