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*attista

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My fiance wants to go to a girl's party without me

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm seeking some advice because I am so hurt right now I want to know if i'm right or wrong here. Basically I live with my partner of 4 years and we love each other and I do so much for him and him me likewise, he has travelled qu...

A.   7 March 2011: Thanks for update OP. You now mention dozens of pretty uni girls. Do you think your bf is going to cheat on you7 And do you trust him fully or not?... (read in full...)

Boyfriend never makes the effort to see me!

Q.   Hi :) Ok so here's my problem. I have been with my boyfriend for about 18 months and love him very much. He's in his final year of Med School and will be a qualified doctor in July. Obviously he is very busy at the moment with studying and I do my ...

A.   6 March 2011: You seem to be doing all the running here. I think you should stop making all the effort and see what happens. At least then you won't need to feel put-out about being the one doing all the travelling. Planning all your spare time around someone is ... (read in full...)

Same sex adult siblings showering together

Q.   Hello, I have a question that is a bit odd, but am wanting a non biased third party view. My boyfriend and I got on the topic of siblings showering together after seeing a mother and daughter skinny dipping in a pool. He told me that when he was 6...

A.   6 March 2011: Where was the shower? Was it at the pool or the sports hall? Or at home?... (read in full...)

Is she losing her baby?

Q.   So the deal is, "Nessy" has been pregnant for 3 months with her boyfriend of 2 weeks before sex (not under my advice). Anyway, she confirmed she was pregnant with several pregnancy at home tests, as well as missed period. Now, three months into the...

A.   6 March 2011: She MUST go to the doctor. This sort of bleeding doesn't mean she is losing the baby for certain, but it could do. If something were to happen to the baby and she doesn't seek medical advice, she could also be at risk herself from infectio... (read in full...)

Why do my friends hate the idea of me being pregnant?

Q.   Why do my friends hate the idea of me being pregnant? I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now and I feel like I am ready to have a child with him. And hopefully he does too. I know I should ask him first but as a young woman I have asked ...

A.   6 March 2011: It doesn't matter what your friends think if you don't even know what your boyfriend's opinion on the matter is. Don't you think you should be talking to him about it first and foremost? You clearly don't know what his views are if you are "hopeful... (read in full...)

My fiance wants to go to a girl's party without me

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm seeking some advice because I am so hurt right now I want to know if i'm right or wrong here. Basically I live with my partner of 4 years and we love each other and I do so much for him and him me likewise, he has travelled qu...

A.   5 March 2011: OP it worries me that one of your complaints about not being able to go was "how am I going to meet new people when he won't invite me places." You can't rely on your bf to give you opportunities to meet people. Don't you do anything on your... (read in full...)

Boyfriend makes 5X what I do and is now calling me a gold digger for questioning the way he splits the bills

Q.   I'll try to make this brief. In a nutshell I have been seeing this guy for over a year, and my son (toddler) and I moved into his house a couple of months ago. Its a big beautiful house, he has only asked I pay a quarter of the mortgage. I am ...

A.   5 March 2011: Calling you a gold-digger is an easy insult he can throw out at you to make you feel small. I think it can be quite a cruel thing to say. I would suggest that if you are worried about your future, and don't like the idea of being his maid as you ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant but our relationship isn't working out!

Q.   I'm 8 wks pregnant and have an 11 month old baby girl already. My morn after pill totally failed me hence me falling pregnant and the condom we used broke. I am trying to be happy about this new pregnancy and I am - its just my partner is wrecking ...

A.   2 March 2011: Hi OP I am sorry you are feeling so low at the moment, and you clearly have a lot to deal with. Having read all of your post one thing jumped out at me- that is, you live with this guy but you don't trust him enough to look after your daugh... (read in full...)

Our relationship status is not public on my boyfriend's facebook account...he had modified the settings so that only I could see the "in a relationship" status!!

Q.   So its been almost 2 years that my bf and I have been together. We've had our ups and downs like any other couple, but what separates us from any ordinary couple is that we learn to work with what we've learned from our past arguments, however, a ...

A.   2 March 2011: Well, maybe since the two of you are involved in the relationship and your best friend knows about it, he wanted the three of you to be able to share it. Some people are private like that. My profile says I am in a relationship, but only he, I and ... (read in full...)

I don't know who got me pregnant!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together and have been trying for a baby for months.I was last on my period on the 26th January which usually lasts about 5/6 days. We had sex a few times from the first week of february and broke up. I met up with my e...

A.   1 March 2011: Hi OP I'm not sure what advice you are looking for here as you don't seem to be asking a question. As to who the father is, if your doctor says there is no way of knowing at this stage then none of us here will have any better idea than them. ... (read in full...)

Our relationship status is not public on my boyfriend's facebook account...he had modified the settings so that only I could see the "in a relationship" status!!

Q.   So its been almost 2 years that my bf and I have been together. We've had our ups and downs like any other couple, but what separates us from any ordinary couple is that we learn to work with what we've learned from our past arguments, however, a ...

A.   1 March 2011: I personally do not like my relationship details being all over facebook and also have my settings so that only a few people can see them. Most of my facebook contacts cannot see these details. They are know in real life, but for the sake of privacy ... (read in full...)

Facebook Ruined My Life

Q.   Is it just me or is Facebook a total head-wreck? Personally, I see it as one big popularity contest. I mean it is so pointless. Why not go out and meet your friends for real, instead of giving yourself a headache trying to think of the 'coolest' ...

A.   28 February 2011: I have never experienced any of the negative things you have stated. I never update my status or look through people's photos whom I do not know. If you found yourself doing this and regarded it all as a popularity contest then it probably is best ... (read in full...)

I'm planning on running away with my boyfriend!

Q.   Hi, I'm Taylor* 20, smart, high ranking job. I have a boyfriend, Adam* 20, smart, high ranking job. We are madly in love, we first met when we were 14, more mature than most our age, we had a moment, nothing physical, both slightly not sure what to ...

A.   28 February 2011: If you know how your parents are going to react I don't know why you think running away is a good idea. What would you gain from running away? It strikes me that you would be losing an awful lot in order to make a big gesture, when it isn't really ... (read in full...)

Agressive partner or scared child??

Q.   I've had a relationship with a man for 9 years. Although over 9 years ago we split up for a while, but, then we got back together. He can be aggresive and spiteful, but he never physically hurts me. But it's affecting my 13 year old girl, as they ...

A.   27 February 2011: You have a daughter- she needs to be your number one priority. If this man is making her unhappy then you should leave him.... (read in full...)

I want to sneak my boyfriend into the house tonight

Q.   I want to sneak my boyfriend over tonight. I have a house with one story and a basement. My room doesnt have a lot of hideing space so i though he could hide under my bed or behind my dresser. And if needed, jump out my window. I usually keep my ...

A.   27 February 2011: If you get caught, which you will judging from what you have written here, your parents will find it extremely difficult to trust you again. This is a completely immature thing to do, and most of the aunts and uncles here being adults can see how ... (read in full...)

My gf hates when I talk to my friends! I can't take it any more! What do I do?

Q.   Hey guys I'm 26 and my gf is 20. We have a two year old daughter together and had one hell of a relationship. It turned ugly a few times and had to get my parents to come help us out and referee it. We live together and we tell each other i love ...

A.   25 February 2011: OP if you can't help yourself then no one else will be able to. You've had loads of excellent advice here but you've chosen to ignore all of it. If you are so easily manipulated then no, you don't have a prayer. If you let someone treat you in this ... (read in full...)

Addicted to running but injured and having to watch my partner train, can we survive this?

Q.   Hi. I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist for an addiction to running. Sounds silly I know but it's a huge problem for me. I'm injured at the moment and can't run for about 3 months more, it's been 2 already. Problem is that my partner is a runner too ...

A.   23 February 2011: Hi OP How old are your children? Not all that old I am guessing. Can't you make them a priority over the running, to give you something to focus on while your partner is training? Incidentally, I am wondering how you manage to fit in kids and a care... (read in full...)

My wife cheated on me 2 days ago, would you agree?

Q.   It hurts so much to write this right now. I never imagined being even remotely close to cheated on but from the investigating I've done, the mere thought appears to be the inevitable... I've been with my wife for 9 years. She's 26 and I'm 30. ...

A.   22 February 2011: Hi OP Your post made me very sad, but at the same time I was so impressed at how you are keeping it all together for your son. Just aside from everything else, I was wondering about a bit of clarification. Do you know for sure that she booke... (read in full...)

I satisfy my husband, but he doesn't satisfy me

Q.   Is it fair that I always do oral sex to my husband until he gets to the climax without even asking if I want him to do it to me too or have the real sex either. I don't directly ask him to do it because I feel like he should have known it as a ...

A.   22 February 2011: You need to talk to him about it. Not asking him to satisfy you because you think he should already know is not going to get you anyway, and is also an unfair assumption to be making. He probably assumes that because you don't say anything you ... (read in full...)

Is it realistic to ask him to wait?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months officially and we've known each other for a little over 2 years. We stupidly used the "pull out" method for a while and I no longer want to take the risk. He hates condoms and wants me to get on b...

A.   21 February 2011: I don't think it's about being fair or unfair. It's about being sensible. As you say, the pull out method is not sensible whatsoever and carries the risk of pregnancy and STDs. Ideally I would suggest that you take the pill and he uses a condom. ... (read in full...)

We've been together over six years and he's still not sure about marriage?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years we have lived together for 3 years. I am 24, he is 32. We have a good relationship and have had our ups and downs like any relationship. Our sex life is not what is used to be but I...

A.   21 February 2011: In my experience you cannot change someone's mind in this issue if they are set on it. I had an ex rather like this. We both wanted different things out of life and eventually split. To him marriage was just a piece of paper as well, however, I ... (read in full...)

How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice

Q.   I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...

A.   20 February 2011: Dirtball your post is excellent. I saw both of those threads and thought there was a real double standard going on; Just this morning I answered yet another question along these lines: girl will not give any oral even though bf does it everytime ... (read in full...)

Is a 500 calorie diet too extreme?

Q.   I'd like to go on a 500 cal diet. If i ever go over 500 calories, ill exersize it off. Has anyone tried anything like this and has it worked? I'm 5ft 3, 12st 8 and want to be about 8 stone by july. Could it work? I've had an eating disorder for ...

A.   20 February 2011: Unless you are seriously overweight and regularly eat a lot more than your recommended calorie intake then you will find it hard to lose weight and keep it off simply by cutting down on food. You need to speed up your metabolism and develop a ... (read in full...)

Any suggestions? Why will my Gf not pleasure me even though I pleasure her?

Q.   My girl and i have been going out together since we graduated from high school for almost 3 years now. she was a virgin and so was I, we have had sex in the past and we have gone through good things and bad things in our relationship but our love ...

A.   20 February 2011: There needs to be give and take in a sexual relationship. It sounds like you are doing most of the giving, and she the taking. If you have made it clear to her that you would like to receive some sexual pleasure but she constantly refuses, then I ... (read in full...)

My baby's daddy is being bad!

Q.   My daughters father has been paying for t-girls, smoking weed, watching porn and calling girls behind my back, please someone give me words of wisdom?...

A.   19 February 2011: Hi there OP Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question, but you refer to this man as your daughter's father, not your bf or partner. Are you actually in a relationship with him? I just wondered if you could clarify this. If he is your bf then ... (read in full...)

After I got angry with my bf, he cheated, and now I wonder if it I my fault!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. When him and I fight, one of us says "its over" and the other one always ignores it because in the morning it doesn't matter. My son had a doctor's appointment valentines day at 12 pm, we...

A.   19 February 2011: I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. This whole "it's over" thing after arguments is just asking for trouble and very immature. You many not think it means anything, maybe he does. Or maybe he used it as an excuse for getting some ... (read in full...)

Me and my boyfriend want a baby together, how do I tell my parents??

Q.   I want a baby and so does my boyfriend but I'm only 15 this year and I'm worried about telling my parents. I reallly know I'm to young but I love kids so much and just want one to have 4 myself. I am a babysitter so I'm forever looking after kids ...

A.   19 February 2011: There are so many problems with this, but I am going to focus simply on one of them. Your bf has three jobs. This means that they are probably all part time, and probably with no long term security. Long term financial security is what you need... (read in full...)

73 years old and want to leave my husband!

Q.   I am 73 years old. my husband has always been verbally abusive to me, We have 5 of a family all left the house now, its just me and him, his god is money not that he gives me much, he has 2 businesses and has 1 million pounds invested, me I have ...

A.   18 February 2011: I think you should try moving out. You husband is probably so used to treating you in the manner you have described that it doesn't dawn on him that a) it upsets you and b)there is any other way of going about things. I must ask have you spoken to ... (read in full...)

Our arguments are ruining our relationship. Now is mother is interfering! What should I do?

Q.   I'm really upset. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a few years. We have been arguing recently. Last weekend, we argued because he was asleep all day and night for a couple of days. Although, I do feel sorry for him because he has a back ...

A.   16 February 2011: Hi OP Thanks for your update. I am sorry to hear about your depression, and I do understand how difficult it can be to get motivated in that situation. It sounds to me like you have lots going for you in your life- lots of great opportunitie... (read in full...)

I have so much hair down there, that prick-free sex with my guy is near impossible!!

Q.   I've been seeing a lot of questions about shaving/waxing down there lately and I figured I'd chime in with my own. My dad blessed me with thick body hair (note the sarcasm). When I shave, it usually starts getting prickly the same day. Then t...

A.   15 February 2011: OP I am "blessed" in the same manner as you are. I can really empathise with you about how fast hair grows back after waxing. It's a constant battle! Unless you have lots of money to spend on laser treatment, which I don't, I would really urge you... (read in full...)

I want to be completely smooth down there!

Q.   alright, i need tips on how i should shave my pubic area! i know you gals out there know your stuff and i'd love to know your secrets. how do you get it completely smooth? what products do you use? i'm avoiding waxing since it's pricey and would ...

A.   15 February 2011: I know you are asking about shaving, but in my experience home waxing using strips is a really good way to go; as others have mentioned here it can be painful at first, but you soon get used to it and it gets a lot easier, plus it's quick. Also no ... (read in full...)

The foreskin of my penis is so tight. what should I do?

Q.   i m a 22 years old boy. Yesterday for the 1st time i tried to pull my foreskin of my penis. It was a bit tight and the tip of my penis pained for sometime. But as my penis came to its normal shape, the foreskin covered my penis again. I doubt, if i ...

A.   15 February 2011: Go and see a doctor. You might need some sort of surgical intervention like a circumcision. Your GP should be able to give you the best advice and maybe a referral to a urologist.... (read in full...)

My roommate keeps breaking "house rules"! How can I approach her about this?

Q.   Hi everyone!! I hate it when people take the Mickey! I am a student in my 3rd year at uni. I live with my boyfriend and another couple who we were friends with last year. We all live in a flat that my parents bought and we rent from them. Ever sinc...

A.   13 February 2011: Sorry OP you are definitely being unreasonable. Your friend is a paying tenant, and as such has as many rights in the flat as you do. The fact that you have 100s of dvds in the lounge or expensive furniture is neither here nor there, nor the fact ... (read in full...)

Our arguments are ruining our relationship. Now is mother is interfering! What should I do?

Q.   I'm really upset. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a few years. We have been arguing recently. Last weekend, we argued because he was asleep all day and night for a couple of days. Although, I do feel sorry for him because he has a back ...

A.   9 February 2011: .....to add to my answer, just because you are unemployed that doesn't mean you have to sit around at home a lot. There are hundreds of charities who are crying out for volunteers to help out in all sorts of ways. Why don't you look into getting out ... (read in full...)

Our arguments are ruining our relationship. Now is mother is interfering! What should I do?

Q.   I'm really upset. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for a few years. We have been arguing recently. Last weekend, we argued because he was asleep all day and night for a couple of days. Although, I do feel sorry for him because he has a back ...

A.   9 February 2011: I'm afraid I think he has made his mind up. I don't think he wants a relationship with you an ymore, hence why he is treating you the way he is. I don't understand why you went over there (with your relative?) after you had been arguing again by ... (read in full...)

My daughter is causing me so much stress just now...

Q.   Hello, I posted on here recently regarding problem with my daughter and her BF who is here 2/3 nights a week. I got some really helpful answers regarding him paying his way. However since that time, another serious problem has happened and I ...

A.   7 February 2011: Hi OP I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Your daughter's behaviour is that of a spoilt teenager not a young adult. It is very unfair for you to have to deal with this. You have already got a lot of good advice here. I just wanted to ad... (read in full...)

Is my out of control pubic hair normal for women?

Q.   Hey, I'm worried about my pubic hair. Its dark and curly and also feels kind of spiky. I cut it every few weeks so it doesnt stick out my underwear. Is this normal? Do most women have hair like this? Im particularly interested what white people have ...

A.   4 February 2011: Completely normal. Waxing is the best way of reducing the problem if you are worried about it.... (read in full...)

I said I'd propose, but I'm not ready!

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now in a long distance relationship. There's about a 700km distance between us but we still manage to see each other nearly every month. Ever since we started going out, she's brought up engagement an...

A.   2 February 2011: OP I can see that your gf has put you under a LOT of pressure over this issue. I think she doesn't really appreciate or understand the value and meaning of marriage. If she is equating getting engaged with going abroad then it seems to me that she... (read in full...)

Is alcohol really a deal breaker in a relationship or am I making too big a deal out of it?

Q.   Iv been with my boyfriend for 2 years now...we were friends for much longer. While everything is fine with us, and there is no "relationship" problem, the only thing that bothers me about him is alcohol. Its not that he's an alcoholic or any...

A.   31 January 2011: Hi OP Obviously your past experiences are informing how you react to alcohol now, and I am really sorry that it has caused you so much pain in the past. I think you may be making too much of a big deal out of this, however. From your bf's po... (read in full...)

I want to have a better relationship with my parents

Q.   Hello, last August me and my mum had a really big argument and I moved in with my dad. I won't go into all the details of the argument but I will briefly describe it. I didn't have a job and got her a cheap box of chocolates for her anniversary. I ...

A.   30 January 2011: Hi OP Firstly I am sorry to hear that you are so upset so often, and that thing are not working with you parents at the moment. I would just like to know a couple more things. When your mum reacted as she did, is it the first time she has beh... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is having an affair, and I don't know what to do!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together over a year now but lately our relationship is falling apart as we have begain to row about 3 months ago he told me he could meet up for a while as wanted to sort our his career etc but i later found out he has ...

A.   25 January 2011: I'm sorry to hear about this OP. I have to say though, that you need to get out of this situation. It's not worth staying with a bf when the situation is making you ill. That's awful. You can't trust him and you are unhappy. This relation... (read in full...)

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