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*attista

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He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   29 November 2011: OP don't worry about multiple posts; it's easy to see why this is a difficult decision for you to make. However, as an outsider it does not seem like a difficult decision. Your follow-up doesn't change my previous advice. I would add the followin... (read in full...)

My gran has cancer and I want her to be around to see me get married and have kids....should I talk to my partner about getting married sooner?

Q.   Just wondering if others can offer some advice. My gran, who i am really close to is in her 80s. I have always had this wish that she could be around to see me marry and provide her a great grandchild. WHen my grandfather passed away, it made me...

A.   24 November 2011: ....OP I just wanted to clarify something. We we already planning our wedding when we were thinking of bringing it forward. Are you and your partner engaged? That will also make a difference if you are not, I guess. Caring Guy (once again) mak... (read in full...)

Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa?

Q.   I'm a virgin. 30 years old and no prospects. I'm slim good looking etc etc but its just not happened. Should I give up and become a charity worker in rural Africa? I've been given the opportunity to teach Aids awareness in East Africa for about a ...

A.   24 November 2011: Hey OP Caring Guy is right, you sound pretty hard on yourself! As far as Africa goes, I think it is a great opportunity full stop. If you've got the chance to travel, meet new people, teach a valuable subject and (I'm assuming) get paid, then g... (read in full...)

My gran has cancer and I want her to be around to see me get married and have kids....should I talk to my partner about getting married sooner?

Q.   Just wondering if others can offer some advice. My gran, who i am really close to is in her 80s. I have always had this wish that she could be around to see me marry and provide her a great grandchild. WHen my grandfather passed away, it made me...

A.   24 November 2011: OP I was in almost exact circumstances a couple of years ago. My partner was happy to bring the wedding forward. However, we didn't go through with it in the end. We had planned to have the wedding only a few months after my relative receive... (read in full...)

My sex drive is too high! How do I stop it?

Q.   I have a severe problem that I can't seem to get rid of. I have a very high sex drive and I hate it! It seems as though no matter how much me and my husband fool around, or how much I masturbate that I always feel like I'm horny and need to get off ...

A.   21 November 2011: Apart from your sex life, do you have a busy, active and full lifestyle from day to day? Ie. do you have plenty of other stuff to keep your mind off sex or do you have a lot of spare time? It's good to have a healthy sex drive for sure, but if it's ... (read in full...)

He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   21 November 2011: ....in fact I think this is at least the third time you have posted this but I do not have links for the other questions. That is not a problem however. I want to second Miamine in saying that people are always here to offer advice where they can... (read in full...)

He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?

Q.   I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...

A.   21 November 2011: OP I appreciate that you don't have anyone to talk to, however, it strikes me that everyone keeps giving you the same advice, but that you don't want to take it. I don't know if you are expecting everyone to change their minds and suddenly see that ... (read in full...)

Broken hearted - Do you think he will change?

Q.   im so sad. i just discovered my boyfriend is back emailing this girl i asked him not to. U see shes linked to one of his foreign friends and he met her at an event abroad. i wasnt with him and when he came home he began emailing her. i discovered ...

A.   19 November 2011: From your post the reason for you being so upset is not clear. Can you give us some more information, namely, has he cheated on you before? does his friend know he has a girlfriend? why did you ask him to stop emailing her?... (read in full...)

On the verge of buying a house with a miserly man who only tolerates my children

Q.   Scared. My second marriage begun disasterously my second Husband refused to bond with my children lied cheated and left me when I lost my job with his baby and my two other children to fend for ourselves financially and otherwise. My Son who is 9 ...

A.   17 November 2011: Please don't do it. If you have concerns about how this will work out for your children, that those concerns must take priority. As their mum YOU are the one they look to for care and protection. You have to make that your first responsibility ... (read in full...)

Can sperm pass through fabric?

Q.   hi. my boyfriend and i were making out so things got a bit heated which left us with just our underwear on, him withthin cotton underwear on and me with very thin underwear on and thin silky tights. Can sperm pass through all these? ...

A.   17 November 2011: I imagine the headaches and nosebleeds are simply from stress. They certainly wouldn't be pregnancy signs at this stage anyway (I'm assuming a few days after event here). If you are as seriously worried as you say you are then go to a doctor and if ... (read in full...)

Can sperm pass through fabric?

Q.   hi. my boyfriend and i were making out so things got a bit heated which left us with just our underwear on, him withthin cotton underwear on and me with very thin underwear on and thin silky tights. Can sperm pass through all these? ...

A.   17 November 2011: Hey OP I'm sure you've no need to be worried in this case, but why don't you think about starting some sort of contraceptive pill so that just in case this happens again you will you're safe (although the pill doesn't protect from STIs of course). ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is working over Christmas - again! I'm furious, help please!

Q.   Hi guys, please help, i am fuming! My bf does shift work and he has a responsible role. This year will be our first proper Xmas togther. Let me explain...last year he decided to work a night shift on Xmas day. This meant i got to see him for a round ...

A.   16 November 2011: Hi there Firstly, OP I'm sorry if this comes across as a bit harsh, it's not intended to be, but I just want to get my thoughts out on your post. My OH is a doctor, lots of my friends are and also some family members. If they get told they ha... (read in full...)

Contraception advice, anyone?

Q.   So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...

A.   15 November 2011: OP you are not considering ending things over just one conversation. You are considering ending things because of the behaviour your bf displays which has led to that conversation. The conversation simply means things have finally come to a head ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is setting up secret online relationships. HELP!

Q.   My boyfriend was on the Internet last night and I found out he was index websites and he had set up a profile saying he wanted to meet girls for 1 on 1 sex or secret relationship he says he was only messing but not sure I'd should believe him please ...

A.   9 November 2011: I don't know why anyone would post that sort of thing unless that was actually what they wanted. What did he mean when he said he was only messing? Did he mean he was doing it for a joke or something? Because if that's what he means then he is ... (read in full...)

What will make things better? I am struggling with my pregnancy and non-existent social life!

Q.   Hi all. A few weeks ago I found out I am pregnant. My partner and I are delighted as we have been trying for about a year, the baby was conceived with fertility treatment and we have just bought a house together. The thing is that I am struggli...

A.   7 November 2011: Hey OP why don't you invite some friends over on some evenings or a weekend when you know your other half is working. Explain that you're tired and don't want to go out but would like an evening of nattering and catching up. I'm sure they will be ... (read in full...)

My brother's fiancée is cheating, do I show him the proof or not?

Q.   Hi I am in a bit of a dilemma, I was invited by a friend onto a dating site called Badoo. So I joined to see what it was as I had no idea, and I came across a profile for my borther's Fience (definitely her as it was her picture) stating that she is ...

A.   7 November 2011: This is a tough one, you obviously don't want to be the bearer of bad news which is fair enough. However, if it were me, I would tell my sibling. I would also want them to do the same to me.... (read in full...)

Do I get a boob job and give up sensitivity?

Q.   I can't decide whether or not to have a boob job! I have really small boobs and so does everyone else in my family and there's no hope of them growing anymore (I'm a 32A/AA). For ages now I've been thinking about getting a boob job but I still don't ...

A.   2 November 2011: OP, from what you have written it does not seem that any men have been put off by you having 32a breasts. It seems that the problem is your reaction to men being attracted to you. You need to work on your self-esteem and your body image. I bet yo... (read in full...)

My man will cheat on me tomorrow...What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is going to cheat on me tomorrow. What do i do? We are in a LDR. He came to see me last week. We went to a party together but sat apart because there were limited seats. I noticed a girl flirting with him but did not say anything ...

A.   1 November 2011: OP a year and a half isn't that long. I don't know what changes you have seen, but surely if you can't trust your bf not to sleep with other women behind your back then those changes don't count for anything. Trust is the bedrock of a relationship, ... (read in full...)

I broke up with her when she demanded I propose, now she's emotionally blackmailing me!

Q.   I've had a very turbulent relationship with my girlfriend of the last 2 years. We've been long distance for most of our relationship, and that's made things tougher. At the start, things were fantastic, we got along perfectly and we couldn't wait...

A.   31 October 2011: OP well done for all this. You've really done well to speak to her parents, which I imagine was really hard. Of course you still care for her which makes it all the more difficult. I would strongly advise you NOT to contact her in a couple o... (read in full...)

Why are smaller nipples more attractive? And when I get mine reduced, will the scars be a turnoff?

Q.   I have always wondered this. After hearing many pepperoni nipples and bologna nipple jokes and comments, it's easy to figure out that men are not fond of large areolae. Why is it exactly? Is it because smaller ones are more sensitive? Becau...

A.   31 October 2011: OP I haven't read through all these comments but just wanted to know: have you ever had feedback on your breasts from a real-life guy, or are these negative opinions of large areolae solely ones you have got from internet forums?... (read in full...)

My man will cheat on me tomorrow...What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is going to cheat on me tomorrow. What do i do? We are in a LDR. He came to see me last week. We went to a party together but sat apart because there were limited seats. I noticed a girl flirting with him but did not say anything ...

A.   31 October 2011: But OP of course he is going to deny it! Do you think he would really admit to something like that when he'd gone to all the trouble of making all these secret plans behind your back in the first place? How did he explain being in the hotel? ... (read in full...)

Mom knows! Isn't she in the wrong for listening to my B/f and I 'dirty talk'on Facebook?

Q.   I've been seeing my boyfriend for a while, and we're sexually active. We're both 16, it's legal, I'm on the pill and we use condoms. Until today, neither of us had issues with our parents because we just hadn't told them. Today, my mom saw that ...

A.   30 October 2011: OP you may want to get your mum to talk about things maturely, but I think you are being somewhat hypocritical. You have not acted maturely yourself. Dirty-talk is supposed to be a very personal and private activity. If you are going to do it th... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend I shaved off my pubic hair?

Q.   Ok, so about a week ago, I was shaving my bikini line, but I angled the razor wrong, and shaved off a patch of pubic hair that made my area, which is usually neat, trimmed, and proper looking, look stupid, so in an effort to try and fix it, I ended ...

A.   26 October 2011: I think you'll find it takes fewer than 2 months for it to grow back. You'll soon get some regrowth even if it's not the original length, so I think it will look back to normal fairly quickly. To be honest I feel that you're over-thinking this. I ... (read in full...)

Do I have another child or go to college?

Q.   Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im ...

A.   25 October 2011: Hey OP I would recommened college. Me and my siblings are not that close in age, there is a maximum of 10 yrs between the oldest and youngest, with one in the middle. We're all adults now with partners, jobs, degrees etc, and we're all very c... (read in full...)

I fear I only love my wife as a friend, and to make things worse I have cheated on her with my ex....who do I really want?

Q.   I am in my mid 30's. I have been married for 18 months to a woman I have been with for several years. Our relationship is fine but I fear I only love her as a friend. We have no kids. We rarely have sex and when we do it feels very unatural. I ...

A.   24 October 2011: What were the reasons you broke up with ex for in the first place? ... (read in full...)

It irritates me that my sister in law won't go to my church but instead goes to her own

Q.   Hi guys. I am staying with my sister-in-law. when she first came to live with us, she would go with me to my church. then all of a sudden she decided to go to her own church on a different day. why do i feel undermined and irritated by it?is it ...

A.   24 October 2011: OP thanks for your update. Against the background you give then I can completely understand why you feel annoyed. It sounds very much like a case of double standards: they expected you to go to their church when you were with them, but when the... (read in full...)

It irritates me that my sister in law won't go to my church but instead goes to her own

Q.   Hi guys. I am staying with my sister-in-law. when she first came to live with us, she would go with me to my church. then all of a sudden she decided to go to her own church on a different day. why do i feel undermined and irritated by it?is it ...

A.   24 October 2011: Hi OP I'm not sure why you feel annoyed about this. You say you are staying with her, but then that she is living with you, so I am assuming she is living under your roof at the moment. Perhaps you feel that as she is your guest, albeit lo... (read in full...)

Do I tell my fiance about this? Accident while Doctor attended to me. Does this mean I'm not a virgin?

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a 24 year old virgin. I've never done anything more than kiss heavily. I'm perfectly fine and happy about that. I'm engaged to a wonderful girl who is just like me; needless to say we are insanely eager to get married and ...

A.   24 October 2011: OP please can you give us a few more details. I assume this episode with the doctor occurred during a medical check-up or examination. I am at a loss as to how anything would have got on her lips, however. But there we go. As far as your gf i... (read in full...)

Guys do you do this? Girls do you endure this?

Q.   My boyfriend says he loves me and isn't looking for anyone else. I commented today about how lame skankygirl pirate costumes are. He said he hopes they're around for a long time. I'm insecure by nature and the thought of him looking at other...

A.   24 October 2011: I look at other people, so does my other half. It doesn't mean anything though, it's just looking. If I see a man in the street, or on TV or whatever, and I think he is handsome, it doesn't mean that I automatically think any less of my OH. I only ... (read in full...)

Why did I bleed during foreplay when I've lost my virginity 10 yrs ago?

Q.   i'm female, almost 26. lost my virginity 10 years ago when i was almost 16. i was with my boyfriend tonight and after we had some foreplay he had blood on his hand. it most definitely is not that time of month. i cannot and do not understand this. i ...

A.   24 October 2011: Are you on the pill? You could easily have an erosion on the cervix. If in doubt go to the doc's for a check-up though, no harm in making sure there's no problem. ... (read in full...)

Leaking bladder problems

Q.   Ever since i was little, i always had a bladder problem. Where I accidently leak in my underwear and no matter what I do, it always happens...i can hold my bladder and tell when to go, but i "tinkle" and it is quite embrassing, especially when I'm ...

A.   21 October 2011: See a doctor. This is very common. You need medical advice on this, but there are lots of things they can do to help/cure the problem. ... (read in full...)

How does a large guy make himself more attractive to women?

Q.   As a large guy at the 18. (6'4 and 17 and a half stone) How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex? I'm got quite a round face and although I can hide my stomach and that sort of thing I do struggle to look 'attractive'. I feel my ...

A.   20 October 2011: Dress for your size- ie. no skinny jeans for example, and WEAR GOOD SHOES. Good shoes is my top tip, I think it shows that a man really pays attention to the way he looks from top to toe. Make sure you have a good haircut. These things are just... (read in full...)

Is is possible to have a 4th c section if you want?

Q.   Is it possible to have another baby after you have undergone three c sections - first one was an emergency and the child died a few days after birth, the second was an emergency though was awake and thankfully she is alive, third one was an elective ...

A.   20 October 2011: You need to speak to an obstetrician for an answer to this. It will all depend on your personal past medical history. Go to your GP and ask for a referral. It is possible to have a 4th section- or even more- but the risk increases each time. You ... (read in full...)

Why would he go back on facebook?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend had some issues over what he used to do on facebook.he deleted his page 10 months ago and now,i have discovered he is back on there.why would he go back on there when he knows how much trouble it caused and that it upset me ?.i ...

A.   20 October 2011: What was he doing on facebook that upset you?... (read in full...)

Christmas stress....

Q.   Hello! I'm worrying about Christmas.... I have been with my boyfriend for two years and have spend both Christmases away from each other, so we said last year we would spend xmas together in December 2011. We thought of some ways to be together l...

A.   17 October 2011: I don't understand why it's ok for you to spend xmas with your mum, but if he wants to spend it with his family you are considering giving him an ultimatum? It seems a bit like double standards to me. After all, the fact that your mum doesn't have ... (read in full...)

Should I take a stand? It seems like she overreacted.

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for three-years. Although about three-months ago, she had to move to Salt Lake City for her family (her mom is sick and she needed to be there for her). I was fine with it, even though I live in Portland ...

A.   14 October 2011: If it's only a weekend isn't there any way she could come down to you for a couple of days, or is she needed up there all the time. I think you should stay in bed and recuperate. She probably said these things in the heat of the moment, but I wo... (read in full...)

Wife's sexual past is tormenting me

Q.   I was a virgin when I met my wife. More than that, I didn't even have another serious girlfriend before then. Meanwhile, she had a bit of an adventurous past. At the time we first dated I didn't really care. However, once we fell in love it reall...

A.   14 October 2011: I'm not surprised she is acting "boring, chaste and unexciting" in bed. I would probably be like that if my other half were like you. To be honest I think I would probably border on being afraid of what you might do because your behaviour seems very ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?

Q.   i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...

A.   13 October 2011: Your gf needs and deserves support and sympathy over this terrible experience. Do you think she actually enjoyed it? Do you think wanted it to happen? If you do then you clearly have no empathy or insight whatsoever. You are thinking of yourself in ... (read in full...)

It was nothing serious and he blew it out of proportion

Q.   My partner caught me flirting on line. He had warned me several times to stop. I did for a while. He called round unexpectedly while i was in some erotic conversation. He has been a good father figure to my two teenage sons. After getting abusive he ...

A.   12 October 2011: If you won't listen to your partner then please listen to your sons. ... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and planning on getting pregnant. How do I tell my dad?

Q.   I'll be honest. I'm 14 and planning on getting pregnant. I've been with my boyfriend (19) for a while. He is going to propose and is okay with me getting pregnant. He wants a child as do I. I understand I am only a child. Yet I'm not. I...

A.   12 October 2011: Firstly, I am very sorry to hear that you were raped at the age of 11. I cannot imagine what that must be like, and I hope you have had some counselling and plenty of support. Unfortunately, I would think that a 19 year old having sex with a 1... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable that I'd like sex with her every so often? She's stopped all sex now she is a Christian

Q.   Dear cupid, I am in a relationship with this amazing girl and have been for over a 18 months, when we first dated we were having sex twice a week. This carried on until about 12 months later when she asked if we can stop having sex as she is a ...

A.   11 October 2011: But surely once a month or once a day, it's no different from your gf's point of view. If she doesn't want to have sex then it doesn't matter how infrequent it is, it's still sex, and that's against her beliefs. YOu definitely DO need to talk to ... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable that I'd like sex with her every so often? She's stopped all sex now she is a Christian

Q.   Dear cupid, I am in a relationship with this amazing girl and have been for over a 18 months, when we first dated we were having sex twice a week. This carried on until about 12 months later when she asked if we can stop having sex as she is a ...

A.   11 October 2011: I think if you don't share her beliefs then the pair of you will have different, and conflicting views on sex. I don't really think there is a compromise here. It's not fair of you to try and pressure her into sex when it is against her beliefs; on ... (read in full...)

Irritable bowel...?

Q.   My boyfriend has had this problem since he was a baby! It all started when he was 9 months old, he was rushed to hospital and operated on, there was a cyst on his bowel and a twisted gut! He is now 28 years old and 4 years ago this problem has came ...

A.   11 October 2011: If your bf has some form of Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis then the symptoms can be very severe- one of my best friends has suffered from the latter for many years and it is completely debilitating. She has had extensive surgery on top of all ... (read in full...)

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