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Shall I tell him? Do I let it out or just walk away without saying anything ?

Tagged as: Crushes, Faded love, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 January 2017)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Do you tell the person you love that you have feelings for him ? Despite the fact he is not that friendly to you and never indulges you in their personal thoughts and life ?

I have been thinking about telling the guy I love that I loved him but not anymore and that i don't want to talk again ?

Would that be childish ?

The thing is I cannot hold the feelings in anymore , I have this urge to tell him but at the same time I don't want to sound clingy or as if my world will crush if he rejects me,

I honestly want to say it and I don't care what will happen next because he hasn't been good in any way for us to have a normal friendship even,

Do I let it out or just walk away without saying anything ?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds to me like he likes sex from you and nothing more. You can tell him how you feel but don't get your hopes up that he feels the same.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 January 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt Oh but you can hold it in, if you want - it's a feeling, not dyarrhea.

Look, I am not tryng to be mean- just practical.

What would the point be of some dramatical love declaration ? Particularly when you said that you want to walk away ??? If you decided to walk away, - just do it without giving him the satisfaction of this last ego stroke !

This sounds like some sort of fuck buddy arrangement, where he gets the sex but does not want to give time or attention like in a "normal friendship ". Chances are very distinctly that he figured out already that you have feelings for him, otherwise why would you cling to such an unfulfilling arrangement. Meaning, from what you say there must have already been some sort of push-and-pull thing , where you tried to get him to give you more closeness than he is willing to give you. He holds back- and you nevertheless stayed ( so far, at least ) It's not that hard to figure out why, is it ??

Suppose though that he really has no clue what you feel for him. Do you think he would care either way ? Why ?

He wanted sex from you ( and he got it ) . Not love, not friendship. From his point of view, whatever you feel for him- that's your problem, what is he supposed to do about it.

Really, I don't understand what you think or hope his reaction is going to be . You tell him " I love you " ... and what is he supposed to say ?...

" Oh. Ok ". " I don't ". " Whatever " . " Very kind of you " .

None of these answers , and other similar ones, would make any difference in the status quo or would make you feel more positive about the situation or confident in yourself.

I think that the only " right " answer, the only answer which could satisfy you, would be " I love you too "- but, let's be realistic, you are not going to hear it. Because if someone loves you , maybe it won't show from their words, but it will show from their actions and they way they treat you. And you say yourself that he always treated you like crap !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2017):

The thing is we have had sex multiple times and i can't keep it inside anymore, I want to let him know how I feel about him. I'm not expecting anything back but I don't want to hold it in, and even if he rejects me it is fine , I'm not madly in love with him but I do love him

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds to me like you have a crush on this guy more than being in love with him. Why not ask him on a date and see how it goes? You don't need to confess love to him because yeah it will scare him away. But asking him out is not to scary now is it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2017):

Don't tell him that you love him. Do tell him that you're interested. Give him your number and ask him to lunch?

If you do nothing, you'll regret it and always wonder. Take your shot and at least you'll know and you can move on.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2017):

N91 agony auntHow do you love someone that isn't friendly towards you? I'm not sure how youve gotten to that point.

If you're no longer going to speak to him then why bother? Block him from your life and move on.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntWell you're guna face rejection at some point in your life, so if you experience it young maybe it will make you stronger. Honestly if he isn't friendly and engaging with you, he probably isn't interested, sorry... it happens to everyone, no matter how pretty/ smart you are. Maybe he's in love with someone else/ maybe not looking to date/ relationship just fun.

I would be aware that if you do and he accepts your offer, be VERY wary that beacsue he hasn't shown much interest he is likely after a lay or two (exspecially looking at your ages)

So like Brown Wolf said, learn to love yourself, do the best by yourself and if someone doesnt love you the way you love yourself they dont deserve you.

Take care

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (19 January 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

"I don't care what will happen next"

You do realise this is your life you are talking about right? You should ALWAYS care what happens next. Because the next thing that happens could be something you regret for rest of your life...and I am not just talking about this guy, but every part of your life.

Do not give your love to someone who does not deserve it. You will regret it in the end. Crushes are very confusing at times. It blinds the difference between real love, and infatuation. Know this much...if it was love, then he would love you the way you love him.

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