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He left me because I wouldn't have sex with him.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2017)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

. my partner left me. because i dnt want sex with him before marriage. but he want. thats why he leave me. he switched off his phone. but i love him. . i want to talk to him. i feel alone without him. i love him. i want to die.plz help me.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (31 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou loved him, but he loved himself more than he did you. Good for you for standing your ground and not having sex before you are married. Remember never feel forced in to anything. You are hurting at the moment and upset but you will see it gets easier and you will realize that he was only using you for sex.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2017):

You will get over it, don't worry! If you are a religious person, maybe you can find a new boyfriend at your church who shares your views on sex?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 January 2017):

Honeypie agony auntGOOD!

You don't want a guy who tries to pressure or manipulate you into LOWERING your standards and values. IF he is OK with pre-marital sex and you are not... YOU two are not a good match. And it really doesn't matter how much you like him. Even if you DID chose to have sex with him, he would find other reasons to make you lower your standards and after a while, you won't recognize the person you have become, the girl who is TOO eager to please a man.

While I get it feels like you heart is broken, would it NOT be MUCH worse if he dumped you AFTER having sex?

At least this way YOU stuck to your standards and he is out of your life.

Stop calling him, stop chasing him, BLOCK him. Mourn the "loss" of him and move on. THERE are SO many men out there and I bet you MANY MANY of them are a much better match for you. Who will respect your standards and you. This guy didn't.

Chin up, it will get better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2017):

Sweetheart, this guy is a DICK.

If you let him, he would have kept having sex with you until he was tired of you and then moved onto the next girl. Better to know NOW that is ALL he was ever after.

You DID the right thing.

You stuck to your values and morals.

It is not easy to do but I admire you very much for this. Nowadays, everybody loses their virginity like it means nothing.

He is NOT the right guy for you. He is NOT worthy of you. He is NOT worth your time.

He has shown his true colours.

The sooner you see him for the asshole that he is, the sooner you can get over him.

Sorry, I know it hurts bad but it would have been worse when he hurt you after you got emotionally attached by having sex with him. It would have been WAY worse. He really did you a favour.

Chin up, sweetie. You will love again and the guy will be magnificent. You are still very young. Your first time will be special. And it won't be with this jerk. :)

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntWhen you're old and you both have little sex drive left, the one you want to have sitting beside you is your life partner- your best friend- the one that loves the bones of you, for all you are, all your imperfections, wouldn't hurt you to save themselves and RESPECTS you.

This guy is likely young- a "man-boy" looking for SEX. JUST SEX. He is not worthy of your love.

He doesn't respect WOMEN... He has the mentality that if he cant get what he wants from them he drops them.

Look at the respectful decision YOU'VE made to honour your values/ religion. BE STRONG. It feels like you want to tear into two but you cam offer yourself more respect than he ever can.

Learn to love yourself- you're special and unique and no one else will care for you more than you care for yourself, if you raise your self esteem, confidence and strive to be who you want to be.

I wish you luck. Cry and lean on ANYONE you're close to.. If they care about you they'll be there.

It WILL get better. You need to cry and grieve.

Good luck

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 January 2017):

chigirl agony auntYou feel like this right now, but it will get better soon. Your heart will heal, just give it a bit more time. You should wait at least 5-6 months of not contacting him. If you still feel that you are about to die after this time, write back to us.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntNever be with someone you feel you'll die without - it's not healthy to feel that way about someone. You will be okay and find someone else.

Well done for not giving in to him. Waiting for sex is a good idea in your culture and you need to find someone who agrees.

Take a little break from guys and then find someone who also wants to wait - you'll get through this!

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