Was I in the wrong here and if so how do I make amends?
Q. Hey, I need help with someone very important to me. I was texting my guy friend and he spelt a few things completely wrong, so naturally, I told him to learn how to spell (I was only joking )... But this is where things get messed up. He responded- ...
A. 16 August 2012: Most welcome :)
... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 14 August 2012: OP, your question is based on the assumption that women ONLY want to get married, breed children and dote on a man. It may have seemed that way in the past but that was because there were so few options available to women. A great many remai... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 14 August 2012: 'Canals' being a bit specific as opposed to a non commital 'out and about', you mean?
It's not as specific as a setting up a date, time and particular place to meet so it tells me she is happy to cross paths with you now and then, but not going ou... (read in full...)
How can I make going down on my boyfriend more comfortable for myself and him?
Q. Im 18 years old and my boyfriend likes when I give him a blowjob. But he's too wide to fit in my mouth. He keeps trying to push me down farther but everytime I try my teeth hits him and I choke. So what can I do to make the situation more ...
A. 13 August 2012: Some good advice already given here. I'll add my two cents.
1. You could reduce the number of times you perform fellatio and the duration. It's not necessary to make it part of every sexual encounter and you don't have to keep at it until he clima... (read in full...)
But should I feel guilty about him paying me alimony still? When he seems to owe money everywhere? We are still married.
Q. hi agony aunt, i wrote on this site about my 48 year old husband leaving me for a 24 year old. I want to thank all of you for the advice that you gave me. it helped, although i have my good days and bad days. im still in that i wish he would wa...
A. 13 August 2012: The fact that you would even ask such a question is a testament to your character and compassion. To answer your question, I say continue collecting the alimony. Of all the people or entities he pays I'd say you have a greater need for and claim to ... (read in full...)
Were they more interested in porn than in me? would this behaviour bother you?
Q. My two last boyfriends didn't seem to have a sexual interest in me when I wasn't there but yet both looked at porn, they rarely said anything suggestive or dirty by text. Has anyone else had something similar happen to them? Would this behaviour ...
A. 13 August 2012: As opposed to sending you dirty text messages and choosing porn over you while you were present?
Their behaviour sounds quite normal to me. They assume you wouldn't appreciate your day being bightened with smutty, pornographic type texts and that... (read in full...)
Friend and I fell out. OK with me. But what do I do about a wedding we will both be attending? Don't want our issues to spoil bride's day.
Q. My friend of twenty years and I had a terrible falling out. Now two years later, she wants to rehash everything, but I don't. Leading up to the "break up," we had grown apart, but I was taken by surprise with her decision to end it (via email). ...
A. 13 August 2012: I agree with kc's second option as well.
Do you mean defend your decision to her or mutual, well intentioned friends? The answer to that is easy, simply don't discuss it. Most people will follow your lead and if you don't volunteer any informat... (read in full...)
She has a DR. Jekyll/ Ms. Hyde personality, Am I crazy for sticking around?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. I love her more than anything. (I know it's a lot, but i'm really trying to get this right. I potentially want to marry this woman.) I'm trying to find ways to keep the spark between u...
A. 13 August 2012: Number one, never accept the blame just to keep the peace. NEVER. The benefits are fleeting and everyone pays a higher price for it in the end. If she wants to act like one of the boys then she can learn to take it like a man.
You're flogging... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 13 August 2012: This woman informed you very clearly, very early on that she was not interested. She is not beating around the bush, playing games or trying to be coy and she doesn't initiate contact. She really is not interested.
She is receptive to friendsh... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012: My God, a man who finally understands me!
All these years I pretended (or deluded myself into believing) I had a need for adventure, excitement and challenge. I always thought I could have some of that by travelling, reading, day trips to the cine... (read in full...)
He has depression but is that any way to treat me? He's horrible and calls me nasty names.
Q. My partner is and has suffered from depression for years (way before i met him but i didnt know about it for a while after we met.) his temper lately has been awful and he swears at me and calls me horrible names. he has even told me he doesnt want ...
A. 13 August 2012: I agree with all the other aunts except on one thing. I wouldn't CONSIDER leaving, I WOULD leave. No ultimatums, no heart felt conversations, no teary eyed goodbyes. Just get your ducks in a row and when you're ready make your move. Your part... (read in full...)
How does an atheist overcome inter-faith dating challenges?
Q. Hi, I was wondering what your opinion is on inter-faith dating, specifically for atheists. How do I meet girls who are atheist or agnostic? Do you think girls care whether I’m atheist? My issue is that I really prefer to date girls who are li...
A. 13 August 2012: Since online match makers are not an option then I would suggest you find some kind of local atheists group. People with shared interests and beliefs congregate (pardon the pun) all the time, so why wouldn't atheists? The logical way to meet those ... (read in full...)
My old flame. We got back together. When he went back to his wife. When is enough enough? Is he lying to me?
Q. I'm not sure where to begin. I apologize now if I'm all over the place, but I'm going to try.. I met this guy when we were 15, so we have a bit of history. The jist; Instant love, we were inseparable, I got pregnant, our parents forbid us to see e...
A. 13 August 2012: That point should have been reached the minute you learned he was married, was in the midst of a custody battle (and had been been in prison, depending on what it was for).
Obviously I don't know the man so I can't say for certain, but I suspect ... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong here and if so how do I make amends?
Q. Hey, I need help with someone very important to me. I was texting my guy friend and he spelt a few things completely wrong, so naturally, I told him to learn how to spell (I was only joking )... But this is where things get messed up. He responded- ...
A. 13 August 2012: Overreact much?
When I first read this question I thought it was from a teenager. Your friend's vicious and explosive reaction was totally out of proportion to the supposed crime.
I wouldn't bother trying to make amends. He could have handl... (read in full...)
Do I show my friend the proof that her boyfriend is cheating on her or not?
Q. I am in a bit of a hard situation here. I have a male friend, and I recently found out that he is on a swinger site, and is meeting random people for sex. Now what he does is his business and normally I couldn't care less, except he has a ...
A. 13 August 2012: There are compelling reasons to approach the girlfriend yourself, however you may not get the outcome you're hoping for. For all we know she may take his side and turn on you in which case she'd be in as much danger then as she is now (though it ... (read in full...)
My trust for her is gone! can it be repaired through a cell phone?
Q. Okay everybody! I've been seeing this lady for a couple of months. I met her off of a dating website. Anyway about a month passed and everything was going really well. Then the texts and the phone calls got much less. Anyway cutting along st...
A. 13 August 2012: Demanding to see her cell phone is not going to work. For one thing, it can be easily circumvented. She can delete any incrimminating evidence before she shows it to you, she can get another cell phone, or find some other way to communicate with ... (read in full...)
How do I discuss the fact that he embarrasses me sometimes?
Q. My boyfriend embarrasses me sometimes. He is very silly and goofy, but sometimes takes it a little far. His behavior at home is fine, but he doesn't seem to understand that the way we are at home is not necessarily appropriate for all crowds. ...
A. 13 August 2012: When your boyfriend asked if he was embarrassing you you should have simply said 'Yes', left it at that and continued making your good bye rounds. That would have been the honest answer and being the shortest may have stopped him in his tracks. ... (read in full...)
Was I right to confront him about his lying?
Q. hi everyone, for a few months now i have been sure my partner has lied to me about a few things. i tried to let it go at first but the feeling and the way he has acted persisted. so after finding some evidence i confronted him. i only asked a ...
A. 13 August 2012: It really depends on what it was he lied about.
If he was concealing a very painful episode from his past then that is his right and you were callous in confronting him.
If you live together and he was racking up debt or doing something to put... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his mother ganged up on me and now I don't know what to think, How should I deal with this situation?
Q. Hi just wanted someone to talk to for advice really ok this is a long one i was/been in a relationship for nearly 6 years my bfriend is the father to my two children we have been living together almost on and off the same time we have been dating, ...
A. 13 August 2012: I agree with BondGirl. Selling his games without his permission was a bold move bound to fan the flames, and not entirely motivated by financial stress. You've been having money troubles for a while yet you only sold the games after a fight. See how ... (read in full...)
He deleted his profile after I updated our relationship anniversary, Should I take this personally?
Q. So yesterday while on facebook, I did some updates on my profile, including putting my boyfriend and I's anniversary date. We've been together since February 2012 and have always said we're "in a relationship" with one another. Well when I spoke to ...
A. 13 August 2012: He seldom uses facebook and he is a private person so deleting his profile makes perfect sense. People do that all the time and I wouldn't read anything suspicious in his doing it.
It sounds as though you've already sat him down and had a conversa... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to limit the amount the roommate's b/f sleeps over?
Q. Hi all, I m 24 and I m renting a flat with my bf that can only accommodate 3 people in terms of the lease. About a month ago we decided to sublet a room to a 3rd person because I lost my job and needed help to cover my college tuition. We managed ...
A. 13 August 2012: I don't think you're being unreasonable. I wouldn't attribute it all to the lease though because that isn't why it bothers you.
If he is there every day he IS a tenant and a non contributing one at that. Most people don't want guests every ni... (read in full...)
What do you think of this situation?
Q. Hi I just need a bit of help regarding this situation I met a man almost 2 years ago I fell for him almost immediately but not I realise he conned me into a fwb at forst he told me places we would go he was really loving saw him everyday for a month ...
A. 11 August 2012: I don't think you need anyone else's opinion of this situation. Not with the facts staring you in the face.
You haven't heard from this guy in almost three months so I think it's a pretty safe bet he doesn't 'want things to get more serious'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has mites, and still wants to be intimate!
Q. My boyfriend recently told me he had mites, or some sort of bug on his skin which he isnt sure how he got. I am rather freaked out, especially since he said it will be gone in a few days. However, I looked online and it said what hes got is highly ...
A. 4 August 2012: The most polite way to tell him is to be blunt and keep it brief.
If you're too 'nice' he will either not see your concern, misunderstand, and think you're worried about his health and then he'll offer you all sorts of reassurances and you'll f... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about going on holiday with my female friend!
Q. hi, i have been with my partner for five years we have just come back from vacation abroad (greece) i wanted to go on holiday in 5 weeks time to spain with my best girlfriend also. The thing is he's not happy about it and he says I'm being selfis...
A. 4 August 2012: Oh God...the "trust issues' again...
First, you have every right to go on holiday with your friend. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Many people do it all the time. I've done it. My friends have done it. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
... (read in full...)
Should I listen to the little voice inside telling me something is not quite right?
Q. Something happened last night and I'm not quite sure what to think of it. I'm hoping you guys can give me your opinion. My boyfriend was supposed to come here last night at 7-8pm and not having heard from him at 7, I text him to get his ETA. He ...
A. 4 August 2012: I forgot to include this in my earlier response...
You expect your boyfriend to provide you with the security you ought to provide for yourself.
Your fear is not based on a lack of trust in him. Even if he'd lied a thousand times that isn't... (read in full...)
Should I listen to the little voice inside telling me something is not quite right?
Q. Something happened last night and I'm not quite sure what to think of it. I'm hoping you guys can give me your opinion. My boyfriend was supposed to come here last night at 7-8pm and not having heard from him at 7, I text him to get his ETA. He ...
A. 4 August 2012: You had plans to get together, but he had to cancel. That was all you needed to know. It turns out a friend had a minor emergency. Disappointing, but life happens. There was no reason for you to keep texting him after that. You could have done ... (read in full...)
Everything he told me is a lie!
Q. I met a guy 7 months ago on a social networking site. He's younger than me by 5 years. We talk all the time, we have times where we lose contact. Which is usually when make plans to meet up and he flakes and leaves me hanging. Despite him doing ...
A. 4 August 2012: He obviously wants to be certain people like him for who he is and not what he has or what he can do for them. And if he's announced all this at the beginning you might have thought he was just bragging and not trusted him. He handled that the right ... (read in full...)
A misunderstanding between us has got out of control. Was it the way I acted? Or is money another issue here?
Q. I met my bf 2 days ago. As it was already evening we decided to go to a supermarket and go back home. I bought some chocolates and he just picked some $1 battery so I paid them with my things. While we were leaving he started his bike and as I wa...
A. 4 August 2012: He was probably embarrassed by the public reprimand because on some level he knew you were right. You should not have apologized. He did something that could have injured you, something he knew you didn't like. He didn't confront you at the time ... (read in full...)
My sisters new family is telling my parents how to raise her?
Q. Hi, I really need some help. My sister moved out of our house almost a month ago. She is 16. She now lives with her best friend and her friends parents. A few days ago, my sister met with my parents and got into a huge fight. The reason for this ...
A. 4 August 2012: You're very welcome. ... (read in full...)
We are back together but he never mentions the breakup!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend almost 7 months ago thinking I would never get back together with him. However, slowly we started talking again, everyday, until one day I asked him "what are we?" and he said "we're together." I was sort of surprise...
A. 4 August 2012: Before broaching the topic again, which I'm sure you will, figure out first what it is you want him to tell you. What is it you want to hear? Knowing that will help you with your approach.
What's done is done, but if you're in this situatio... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend keep a stable job?
Q. How can I help my boyfriend, he hasn't been able to hold a job for longer than three to six months. He keeps getting let go and it seems to me for the most ridiculous reasons, such as talking too much and too loudly.I've been with him for about a ...
A. 4 August 2012: I meant only suggest the seminar if he asks for advice and genuinely wants answers. If he doesn't ask, or if it's just part of the sob fest do not respond.
Let him see your displeasure without shoving it in his face (with silent treatmen... (read in full...)
How can I approach the marriage subject without scaring him off?
Q. I am what you call a "career woman" and my parents hate it. Don't get me wrong, they're proud that I've been as successful as I've been all my life, but because I'm their only daughter, they want to see some grandchildren from me soon. Well, I'm 31, ...
A. 4 August 2012: I agree with the others and I will add that when the time is 'right' it should be HIM broaching the subject. Not you.
Once you start chasing him he stops chasing you and you end up hurt and angry.
YouWish is right...apply your professional ski... (read in full...)
Should I move to my sons fathers town or stay here? I need to do what's best for my son!
Q. hi all, i'll try and keep this short.. I am in a long distance relationship with my baby (19 months)s father. We've been together for nearly 3 yrs. Lately we've been talking about the future, and the plan we made when jacob was born was he'd finish ...
A. 4 August 2012: When you are quick to give up your dreams and your goals for someone else's convenience, you do yourself and others a disservice.
For one thing, you reinforce the belief that women are less important than men and children. This distorts everyone... (read in full...)
My sisters new family is telling my parents how to raise her?
Q. Hi, I really need some help. My sister moved out of our house almost a month ago. She is 16. She now lives with her best friend and her friends parents. A few days ago, my sister met with my parents and got into a huge fight. The reason for this ...
A. 4 August 2012: I'll tell you what is going to happen here.
Eventually the honeymoon will be over and this friend's parents won't be so enamoured of your sister nor she of them. There will be a nasty falling out and your sister will come crawling back home. Sh... (read in full...)
Should I move to my sons fathers town or stay here? I need to do what's best for my son!
Q. hi all, i'll try and keep this short.. I am in a long distance relationship with my baby (19 months)s father. We've been together for nearly 3 yrs. Lately we've been talking about the future, and the plan we made when jacob was born was he'd finish ...
A. 3 August 2012: The person who cares most about Jacob is his mother. She is his staunchest advocate. She's given up a great deal so that he is well cared for. Jacob's father may love him, but he loves himself more. Were you 'ready' to quit university? Prob... (read in full...)
Do most people view threesomes like this?
Q. dear cupid, in the past, my guy has hinted around about wanting to have a threesome (with him being the only male involved). coincidentally, this has actually happened three times...hahaa. he did it once last year and twice last month. each time...
A. 3 August 2012: Gang bangs....they certainly can be depending upon the participants. If the woman has a strong enough ego and only engages with men she knows want to impress her then she is the star of the show.
... (read in full...)
How can I settle down with him knowing that he has feelings of wanting to be a female?
Q. I need some help and other opinions as i am so confused at to what to do at the moment. I will explain briefly the situation. I have been with my partner now for 3 years. When we met for the first couple of years the relationship was great! ...
A. 3 August 2012: I believe that investing in a future with him, emotionally or financially would be a big mistake for all of the reasons you've listed.
This is no mere hobby. We're not taking about model trains or collecting stamps here. And all this hocus po... (read in full...)
Do most people view threesomes like this?
Q. dear cupid, in the past, my guy has hinted around about wanting to have a threesome (with him being the only male involved). coincidentally, this has actually happened three times...hahaa. he did it once last year and twice last month. each time...
A. 3 August 2012: 'Your guy'? Does this mean he isn't your boyfriend. That he's just someone new you're seeing?
He's expressed an interest in having threesomes. He's had three threesomes so far. So I'd say the odds were pretty good that he is quite serious about wa... (read in full...)
In order to be with him I've been lying to my family.
Q. hi im 18 and my boyfriend is 35. i have not.told.my.parents yet as they do not like the idea of age diffrrences when.it comes to relationships. ive never been with an.older man before so when my parents found out for the first time they freake...
A. 1 August 2012: I hit 'Enter' prematurely.
The problem with concealing a lover from your family is you isolate yourself from your support network and become more heavily dependent upon that lover.
You cannot easily gauge the health of your relationship bec... (read in full...)
In order to be with him I've been lying to my family.
Q. hi im 18 and my boyfriend is 35. i have not.told.my.parents yet as they do not like the idea of age diffrrences when.it comes to relationships. ive never been with an.older man before so when my parents found out for the first time they freake...
A. 1 August 2012: Given the age difference and the fact that his race is an issue they are likely going to 'freak' and try to lay down the law regardless of how you put it so I'd either just spit it out (when they're in a decent mood) or stop seeing the guy.
Have ... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend keep a stable job?
Q. How can I help my boyfriend, he hasn't been able to hold a job for longer than three to six months. He keeps getting let go and it seems to me for the most ridiculous reasons, such as talking too much and too loudly.I've been with him for about a ...
A. 1 August 2012: The person who should be asking this question is your boyfriend and since he isn't, my guess is he is not yet ready to overhaul his social skills. That means you'll be beating your head against a wall trying to help him.
Talking too much and too ... (read in full...)
Can you tell someone has had anal sex by looking at their bottom?
Q. Hey there everyone! So... I was in a 5-yr-relationship with this guy and we used to have a quite a lot of anal sex. I didn't really like it, but he loved it so I tried to make him happy. Since we broke up I decided I'd never do anal just to make ...
A. 31 July 2012: I highly doubt it.... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 31 July 2012: Here's one last point I think we've all over looked (unless another aunt or uncle mentioned it and I just didn't notice). What's done is done but if a similar situation arises again or for anyone else reading this who might benefit... I don't k... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 30 July 2012: Why does anyone do what they do? There will never be an answer good enough so don't waste time trying to figure it out.
He did it. He's boring and predictable. Now he's history.... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 30 July 2012: I couldn't have said it better myself, YouWish.
I don't see this as bullying either and that word will, in time, follow words like 'harassment' and 'abuse'. They've been so overused they've lost their sting.
... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 29 July 2012: I agree with YouWish in HOW to respond to bad behaviour.
As Code Warrior told a woman in a different post, this guy poked you with a stick and got exactly the reaction he expected. It's like hurling a pebble at someone's arse with a sling shot and... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Well said, YouWish. ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Since you asked...
My opinion is that both of you were very crass and immature. He should not have sent that text, nor had a friend involved in the sending of it.
And you should have completely ignored it then deleted his number and block... (read in full...)
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