Guys, would you have reacted in the same way as my boyfriend to the fact that I am a virgin at 20?
Q. So this guy i'm seeing we were getting really close and things were intense, I wanted to go the whole way but I stopped him and said I can't i'm still a virgin, but told him I want to, just not yet. I'm ready, i'm just not sure yet if I want to...
A. 24 September 2012: I wasn't implying you'd be one of those people, by the way. Just pointing out that giving up one's virginity doesn't give them happiness or their lives meaning. ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you have reacted in the same way as my boyfriend to the fact that I am a virgin at 20?
Q. So this guy i'm seeing we were getting really close and things were intense, I wanted to go the whole way but I stopped him and said I can't i'm still a virgin, but told him I want to, just not yet. I'm ready, i'm just not sure yet if I want to...
A. 24 September 2012: I have friends who were well into their 20's, and 30's when they lost their virginity and it was never as issue. They led fulfilling, active, interesting lives, had many friends and were happy. In all the years I knew them I only learned of their ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this resentment that he won't try to lose the weight he has gained?
Q. In March, I started dating a guy I've known for 4-5 years. In may, I decided that I wanted to lose weight and since then, I've lost about 25 pounds, but here's the problem. My boyfriend was about 20 pounds overweight when we made it official, but ...
A. 24 September 2012: I think you should leave him alone entirely and let him lose the weight, or not, at his own pace. No one hounded you when you trimmed down. As you already know, this is something he must do for himself. Inserting yourself like this makes it ab... (read in full...)
Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with him over his post?
Q. I had this boyfriend(S),we were together for about 7 months and everything was going fine. i really liked him and (S) was one of the few people i've been with that was good to me. about 4 months into the relationship we had sex. it was the first ...
A. 24 September 2012: Without knowing what he said, we won't know if you were over reacting. However you don't have to consider this a total loss.
Young men are notorious for being cavalier with a young woman's reputation. Whatever your ex thinks of you he is wiser fo... (read in full...)
These two girls are using me for my popularity
Q. I'm so confused right now. I don't know if they're friends or not. After I joined like, a zillion clubs,these two girls come and I genuinely liked them, and we start being all buddy buddy. They liked the same stuff that I do and I was impressed ...
A. 24 September 2012: Instead of trying to stop them from capitalizing on their acquaintance (which has already failed), why not use it to your advantage?
They may not be strategically important on their own, but they are part of your fan base. And as long as they can... (read in full...)
She climaxed several times yet she says there is no chemistry between us
Q. I recently started going out with a woman who's quite a bit younger than me (I'm 52, she's 38). The first time we made love was in a hotel room (difficult for us to have time together at either of our houses because of our children). She orgasmed ...
A. 24 September 2012: She may have assumed you weren't that attracted to her and decided to save you both the discomfort of having to reject her.
Or she may not feel any romantic chemistry with you which is why she was relaxed enough to be able to climax during s... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my boss' wife
Q. i am a male, gemini, married but not happy after 5 years and i am in love with my boss wife who have problems with him ever so often and i think she has a crush on me and now he kind of suspects us any help ...
A. 24 September 2012: Sort out one mess before you plunge into another. Leave the boss' wife alone. ... (read in full...)
How do we solve our trust issues?
Q. I need abit of help and advice on what are the best methods to do in 'fixing trust'. Basically our trust issues comes down to facebook, and i messed up chatting up a girl (ALTHO please understand, i did this purely for boredem and would never EVER ...
A. 22 September 2012: First, stop with the 'if she realy loved me' talk. She can say the same thing about some of your recent actions. You'll just keep going around in circles.
Second, I wuld focus on your own behaviour first, regardless of what she does. If your cha... (read in full...)
Is an Ex and Ex? And should it stay that way? I think my Bf may be in contact with this ex again.
Q. I suspect that my boyfriend might have added his ex-girlfriend back into his phone, I am not entirely sure. I just have a feeling he might have. Should I just ask him if I can look at it? I don't know if it seems odd. I really hate his ex and h...
A. 22 September 2012: If all you have is a suspicion that he may have added her number to his cell phone, then I say you haven't enough to act on. Dropping hints, asking questions or making any kind of demands will have a negative effect.
At this point, my advice i... (read in full...)
Where should I break up with my boyfriend of 3 years?
Q. Hello Cupid I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. This is the first serious relationship for both of us. Sadly the feelings aren't the same for me and so I've decided to end the relationship. I live far away from anywhere so breakin...
A. 22 September 2012: No offense taken, Cindy.
The reason I'm opposed to breaking up in person is exactly the reason you're for it. 'only ,you won't have to see his hurt and sadness.'
Break ups are often painful for both parties and seldom a surprise. The on... (read in full...)
Do you think he is playing me? My friend says he is. But if he's playing me, would he go to so much trouble for me?
Q. I guy I have been seeing for the past month and I have been dating. We havent gone very far and I heard that he kissed another girl on a night he got drunk. A few days ago I asked him what we were, and he said he hadn't thought about it. Two days...
A. 22 September 2012: What effort? What has he done or not done that required so much effort?
I don't think he is maliciously trying to hurt you, but I do believe he is testing the waters and laying the foundation for a sex only arrangement.
He's made it clear th... (read in full...)
Why is my ex mad at me about my new life changes?
Q. Today I talked to my ex boyfriend about coming to this new state where I live now to make better choices for himself we both did some wild things during our relationship that's why I chose to move away. I wanted better for myself. I have a new j...
A. 22 September 2012: Most welcome. People can and do change all the time, for better or worse. But your ex hasn't given you (or me anyway) enough reason to think he has. He isn't working and isn't looking for work. He's made is clear he wants to see you but can't af... (read in full...)
I've been caught stealing and my employers know about it, they have given me 2 options, so what do I do now?
Q. I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good. I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got...
A. 22 September 2012: When I first read this I assumed you were working in some kind of department store that had a supermarket in a seperate section or something. Not that it really matters.
Mike and Sally (your employers?) might know the owners of the other establis... (read in full...)
He says I am the problem, but doesn't want me to get help!
Q. Well now where do i begin.. I've been married for 4 for starters total of 4 kids (2 from previous 10 yr relationship) I've known my husband for a total of 12 years altho we've only been together 6 we were friends before. My problem.. when he gets ...
A. 22 September 2012: I'm not going to get into a whole list of what's wrong with this guy. You can see it for yourself. The reason he feels threatened by your self improvement is twofold. One, once you're 'fixed' he will be exposed as the cause of the problems and... (read in full...)
Why is my ex mad at me about my new life changes?
Q. Today I talked to my ex boyfriend about coming to this new state where I live now to make better choices for himself we both did some wild things during our relationship that's why I chose to move away. I wanted better for myself. I have a new j...
A. 22 September 2012: What exactly is your question? You suggested that your ex boyfriend relocate to where you are so he can take advantage of new opportunities as you have. He got annoyed, told you he wasn't looking for work, but to come and see you but that he does... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 months creeps me out!
Q. My boyfriend and I have only been going out for about two months. Lately, though, it seems as if every little thing he does annoys me or creeps me out. He's constantly making fun of me and he brings the gift I gave him (a stuffed monkey) weeks ago ...
A. 22 September 2012: YouWish is dead on. People who make these threats, veiled or otherwise are relying on your fear and guilt to compel you to do whatever they want. Most people are sheep and will back down when confronted by someone psychologically tougher than ... (read in full...)
What should I do? My Boyfriend is SO Jealous. Made a scene at my work. Calls me a slag almost daily
Q. I feel really bad about what I did to my boyfriend. We have been arguing so much throughout our entire relationship, he always thinks I'm cheating. He calls me a slag almost daily when he has no reason to think it. He came to my work shouting at ...
A. 22 September 2012: He asked if he could attend the wedding. With his past conduct in mind, you wisely said 'no' but he showed up anyway in hopes that you would feel guilty enough to change your mind.
He claimed he was sorry but immediately reverted back to bad beha... (read in full...)
Why wont my 59 year old boyfriend make love to me?
Q. why wont my boyfriend make love to me? im 56 and he is 59, we have been together now for a year. i care about him deeply and hope that we can spend the rest of our lives together. we get along great other then this one thing. he wants other sexu...
A. 22 September 2012: There may be physical reasons, as the other aunts have suggested. Keep that in mind, but don't get caught up in providing all the sexual favours and getting nothing in return.
You haven't said anything about reciprocity. If he can receive ... (read in full...)
I've been caught stealing and my employers know about it, they have given me 2 options, so what do I do now?
Q. I have been working for my company as a new business rep for 4 and a half years and always been good. I normally get my lunch from a supermarket down the road from my office but about a month ago, i had some fraud done on my bank and while it got...
A. 21 September 2012: Hand in your resignation and let this die a quick and quiet death. ... (read in full...)
How do we solve our trust issues?
Q. I need abit of help and advice on what are the best methods to do in 'fixing trust'. Basically our trust issues comes down to facebook, and i messed up chatting up a girl (ALTHO please understand, i did this purely for boredem and would never EVER ...
A. 21 September 2012: When I got done reading this I could not believe your ages. I thought you two were 16 or 17. The posted age is correct?
The reason you're having trust issues is because you both seem to lack any impulse control. You do things without any thought ... (read in full...)
I don't know if my boyfriend is the one for me
Q. I have never written in any love advice sites before, but have been enjoying reading this site, so I decided to give it a try. Thanks for reading. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months. From the beginning, I thought he was not the r...
A. 21 September 2012: What seem like minor differences now have a good chance of becoming problems later on. Think of degrees on a compass.
I'm a Sagittarius and tend to be detached and unemotional as well so I can appreciate the need for space and independ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister and husband are talking about me behind my back, how do I confront them?
Q. Me and my boyfriend just bought a house a little over a month ago. His sister and her husband asked if they could stay with us for a while. In there camper. Well ever sense they got here I feel very uncomfortable. I felt that they have been talking ...
A. 21 September 2012: It's understandable that yuo feel some discomfort too. Like I said when we feel vulnerable we sometimes see things from a seige mentality. Maybe in some ways you feel like the outsider.
People generally respond very well to kindness and courtesy... (read in full...)
Where should I break up with my boyfriend of 3 years?
Q. Hello Cupid I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. This is the first serious relationship for both of us. Sadly the feelings aren't the same for me and so I've decided to end the relationship. I live far away from anywhere so breakin...
A. 20 September 2012: I'm with BondGirl. I don't susbscribe to the myth that breaking up in person is the classiest thing to do. For one thing it may not be the safest. You don't really know how someone will respond to having a big part of their lives ripped away from ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me understand the male mind?
Q. Can someone, please help me understand the male mind. I am at the end of my tether. I have been seeing a guy since the end of July and things were going well. After five weeks he told me he loved me. I thought it was a bit soon but nice to hear. Bt...
A. 20 September 2012: Unless I've missed something we've been given very few words and actions to compare. The only confusion you have, from what I understood, was his surprise at hearing you wanted to be a couple. Is this correct?
Since you thought it was too early to... (read in full...)
I need him, what if he doesn't need me?
Q. I would like more reciprocation in my relationship from my boyfriend. Sometimes (or quite often) I feel like I give him more than he gives me. In the past I have come to the agony aunts with a similar question, and some have said just move on. Bu...
A. 20 September 2012: If you're still alive and well not getting what you 'need' from your boyfriend then I think that proves the point that you don't actually need him.
You're stuck in this situation because you're unwilling to entertain other possibilities. You know... (read in full...)
Not enough money for a wedding, should we elope?
Q. Ok so I'm newly engaged and the date is set for early 2014, after my fiance graduates from university. My problem is that my mom who would be paying for the wedding cannot afford it. Both me and my finance don't have our careers started yet, so ...
A. 20 September 2012: Some good ideas here. You can delay the wedding, or keep it simple and within your budget.
The thing about these so called 'traditional' weddings is they aren't traditional at all. Back in the day few people could afford an elaborate lacy, wh... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand that he is not the type of man I want, without hurting him?
Q. I am a 30 year old woman, dating a 33 year old man. We have been together for four months now. My fear is that when we met I told him that "The stay together thing is not part of the relationship" as we are both christians and go to the same church. ...
A. 20 September 2012: Of course he wants to marry you. Who wouldn't? Free accommodations, free food, gifts, affection, companionship...
The problem here is you have been dropping hints all over the place instead of coming right out and saying what is on your mind. Yo... (read in full...)
How should I approach my ex husband's new girlfriend about keeping in touch?
Q. i got married when i was 19 years old to a wonderful guy i was in love with since the age of 15.My husband is 7 years older than me. He is the most loving, caring person i have ever met who spoiled me like a princess. i'm separating now because ...
A. 20 September 2012: What exactly would this friendship look like?
Your husband needs the space to build something solid with this new woman before he can entertain thoughts of maintaining a special relationship with you.
I don't think you should approach her at ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend using my negativity as a stalling tactic?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in our mid forties and we have each been married (and divorced) once. He for over 10 years...me for over 5 years. We have been dating for a year and a half. We talk about marriage. We talk about where we will live. W...
A. 20 September 2012: 'Are these just excuses to not move forward in a relationship by blaming the fact that we do not move forward on MY negativity about him?' That is precisely what they are.
Your boyfriend has some deeply entrenched issues that need addressi... (read in full...)
What is it like to live with an alcoholic?
Q. i would like to know from anyone who knows how is it like to live with someone who is an alcoholic but can carry himself well when drunk. The reason i ask cos i think i have fallen for someone who drinks a lot (but make perfect sense while chatting) ...
A. 20 September 2012: My father is an alcoholic and he was everything iamgymrat describes but he was also violent. And living with him was every bit a nightmare and some. Police and Children's Aid were called in and I was placed in foster care.
There was the walking ... (read in full...)
What should I get my mum for her birthday?
Q. hey aunties, this isn't a relationship question but maybe some of you may help. my mum's birthday is coming up and I would like to give her something nice, but not so expensive. I got a job this year and it'll be the first time I'll be able to ...
A. 20 September 2012: Candles
A bath set
A pot pouri pot
A couple of DVDs or CDs
A tea set (small pot, mugs and some herbal tea)
A digital picture frame (loaded with family photos)
Any combination of the above
Not sure what her interests are, but that's a star... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister and husband are talking about me behind my back, how do I confront them?
Q. Me and my boyfriend just bought a house a little over a month ago. His sister and her husband asked if they could stay with us for a while. In there camper. Well ever sense they got here I feel very uncomfortable. I felt that they have been talking ...
A. 20 September 2012: Say nothing about the text messages to anyone, including your boyfriend (who WILL blab and make things worse). Informing everyone that you have snooped through their personal things will only give them reason to resent you.
What you saw was a pr... (read in full...)
His behaviour and attitudes are unsettling. Should I leave him while I can?
Q. Before we married, my husband was really into me (always holding my hand, kissing - being intimate in every way but no actual sex). I thought our honeymoon would be non-stop, but over the course of 10 days we had sex maybe five times. I was very...
A. 20 September 2012: Yes, you should.
I know it's not the answer you want to hear, but life is too short to muck about trying to fix things with this guy. He is not worth the effort and there is so much better out there.
Get out now before you become pregnant ... (read in full...)
Proposal to share FB passwords to deal with Trust issues - too far?
Q. reached the point in our relationship where trust issues are flaring, now both trying to resolve the issues. We have come to the conclusion to share fb passwords, (have not done so yet) told her id seek help first before we do this. Just wondering ...
A. 19 September 2012: You told her you'd 'seek help before you do this', so that means you're the one with the trust issues?
Sharing passwords is not a solution. The benefits are, at best, limited and fleeting. There is nothing to stop either one of you from deleting... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to take responsibility for what he did?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago because he got violent and went for me repeatadly. now hes claiming that i attacked him....i was sober as a judge and remember everything, he was drunk and admits it though says if i fight like a man ...
A. 19 September 2012: Why is it so important to you that your ex accept responsbility for what he did? If he did own his actions, what would that give you?
Do you think, on some level, that he might be right to blame you? He's not. If you had that kind of power ov... (read in full...)
My 48 year old husband left me for a 24 year old woman and I'm in need of more advice
Q. i will ask my question and leave it at that you all know me. im the one who was left for a 24 year old my husband 48. i want to know why he insists on hurting me with his words. i have to pick up my temporary spousal support from him. and everytim...
A. 19 September 2012: He wants to stop paying you without looking or feeling like the bad guy, so he's hinting in hopes you'll volunteer to do without the support.
He's ashamed of being a walking cliche. He feels guilty about the circumstances surrounding the break up... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife has forgotten what losing her virginity felt like?
Q. My wife lost her virginity to one man (had sex just once before me) and I have been fucking her three times a week for over twenty years. Has she forgotten about that first experience by now or will she always remember how it felt the first ti...
A. 19 September 2012: I wondered about that too... (read in full...)
I am reluctant to leave my four year old daughter in the care of my younger sister while I'm away
Q. Hallo guys. I dont know if i am worrying over nothing. My husband is outside the country. And i am going to be visiting him soon for a whole month. My worry is my daughter who is only 4 and is in nursery. I plan to leave her with my kid sister wh...
A. 18 September 2012: What about a trial run? Have your sister mind her for an afternoon, then a day and then a couple of days before you go. My advice is to trust your gut and place your daughter's safety above your desire to see your husband (as understandable a... (read in full...)
I treated her badly but now I want her back
Q. I cheated on a woman who was madly in love with me four years ago. Not only did I cheat on her, I disrespected her, lied to her, bit her, talked bad about her behind her back to co-workers and family members. I strung her along and I put her at risk ...
A. 18 September 2012: Your ex is over it and has moved on like a normal person. This is what normal people do.
They nurse their wounds then pick themselves up and look forward to a bright future, stronger and wiser and not to be taken advantage of again. They don't si... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife has forgotten what losing her virginity felt like?
Q. My wife lost her virginity to one man (had sex just once before me) and I have been fucking her three times a week for over twenty years. Has she forgotten about that first experience by now or will she always remember how it felt the first ti...
A. 18 September 2012: You obviously remember it so why wouldn't she? It would be an intellectual memory only though, not an emotional one. The only way I can explain it is by analogy.
Think of a song or food or a cologne that you once loved but don't any longer. ... (read in full...)
Is lack of physical attraction a valid reason to break up with someone?
Q. My boyfriend isn't attractive to me. I'm not implying that he's ugly or that other people might not find him good looking but I don't. He's a good person and treats me well and we're getting to that age where we're thinking about serious commitme...
A. 18 September 2012: If your boyfriend was the man you wanted to spend your life with you'd find him attractive enough regardless of how he looked. The fact that you don't means he is not. That does not mean you're shallow. You are not obliged to be drawn to everyon... (read in full...)
What to do about my Bf? When we argue he completely shuts down and never has enything to say when we have issues to discuss.
Q. How do I fix our comunication problemes? My boyfriend and I are kind of stuck in a rut when we get into an argument he completly shuts down and never has enything to say. I try not to pressure him but he always seems to take serious discussions...
A. 18 September 2012: Your boyfriend make need more time than you to sort his thoughts, especially when it comes to sensitive issues.
Why not discuss these issues in writing then? You can send him an email when you have something big on your mind and he can respond ... (read in full...)
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