He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 31 July 2012: Here's one last point I think we've all over looked (unless another aunt or uncle mentioned it and I just didn't notice). What's done is done but if a similar situation arises again or for anyone else reading this who might benefit... I don't k... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to go through with this relationship?
Q. I am an american women dating a turkish guy. We have been talking off and on for the past two years. He comes to virginia beach, virginia every summer on a work visa. We were introdued through texting by my brother which is good friends with my ...
A. 31 July 2012: He's 'willing' to live in Virginnia Beach instead of Turkey because that's what YOU want? Really?
That sounds an awful lot like 'Fine I'll let you pay my bills and massage my feet every night, but only because it's what YOU want.'
The only way ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 30 July 2012: Why does anyone do what they do? There will never be an answer good enough so don't waste time trying to figure it out.
He did it. He's boring and predictable. Now he's history.... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 30 July 2012: I couldn't have said it better myself, YouWish.
I don't see this as bullying either and that word will, in time, follow words like 'harassment' and 'abuse'. They've been so overused they've lost their sting.
... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 29 July 2012: I agree with YouWish in HOW to respond to bad behaviour.
As Code Warrior told a woman in a different post, this guy poked you with a stick and got exactly the reaction he expected. It's like hurling a pebble at someone's arse with a sling shot and... (read in full...)
I'm finding it very difficult to forget about my boyfriend's past relationships.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year. Before me he had never had a girlfriend, yet had slept around. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to forget about this past of his. Especially a certain girl who he claims he merely had a 'se...
A. 29 July 2012: What exactly is your issue with it? Do you think he might be doing the same to you as he claims to have done to this girl? Do you suspect he really did have feelings for her but denies it so you won't feel threatened?
Besides the fact that is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends too much time helping another woman through her separation
Q. Hi. I could really use your advice to help me determine if I am over reacting in this situation. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about five months so the relationship is very new. But I am having a problem with his attention on a f...
A. 29 July 2012: Like Abella and AuntyBimBim, I think your concerns are valid and I don't think you're being selfish or stupid at all.
Many a relartionship has started ut as one friend helping another during a difficult time. I don't think this friend is necessar... (read in full...)
Would you consider this dating?
Q. I was 16. I had never kissed a boy before, i had a boyfriends before but never had done more than held a guys hand.(i was a junior and he was a senior) There was a guy i was somewhat friends with.(he's a twin) So i decided to hang out with...
A. 29 July 2012: No, I do not think you're dating. I think you're providing him with all the perks of a relationship without encumbering him with the obligations of one. In short, he's getting a free ride.
I would definitely not ask 'are we dating?' as this wou... (read in full...)
I told my lover's wife about us but it is as if she doesn't care!
Q. I am so hurt right now, I decided to tell my married lover's wife about our affair, because I knew that would be the only way to stop it. I am 35 yrs old and he is a 43 yr old man. It started out as a friendship with casual dinners, and no sex. ...
A. 29 July 2012: You've completely misunderstood my point. At no time did I say he was an innocent person. I compared you to a dealer as I also compared him: 'as he was your dealer supplying you with whatever fix it was you thought you needed' AS HE WAS YOUR ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Well said, YouWish. ... (read in full...)
Is this possible? Could I do it? Want to cut verbally abusive brother out of my life but family frown upon it?
Q. prior to a question id asked the other day http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-brother-is-verbally-abusing-me-and-ive5.html Well i took the great advice , thanks guys for that, decided to cut my brother out of my life. However in doing so, i've h...
A. 28 July 2012: Way too much talking and explaining going on here.
You've made a decision to distance yourself from your vitriolic brother and possibly your father. So do it.
When you stop answering them, when you don't attend functions with them, when they ... (read in full...)
Why ask? Should I comply? My married lover wants to know about any other women I sleep with
Q. I have been sleeping with a married woman for over a year now. She has an open marriage (within some limits) and we get along great both inside and outside of bed. She and I were talking and I asked her if she'd be upset if I slept with other...
A. 28 July 2012: Her motives are most likely a)security and/or b)excitement. a) Keeping abreast of your romantic developments allows your lover to gauge where she fits in and adjust her investment accordingly. b) Increasing the sexual tension may increase her ... (read in full...)
I told my lover's wife about us but it is as if she doesn't care!
Q. I am so hurt right now, I decided to tell my married lover's wife about our affair, because I knew that would be the only way to stop it. I am 35 yrs old and he is a 43 yr old man. It started out as a friendship with casual dinners, and no sex. ...
A. 28 July 2012: I think you've been rather hasty in washing your hands and absolving yourself of this.
Don't get me wrong. I agree that God loves you and has forgiven you and I want you to be happy and healthy and strong and confident. But if you have only bee... (read in full...)
Religious differences. Parental interference. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. What do I do!?
Q. I'm in love with my guy friend who has been brought up in one religion and me in another religion. I have started to question my beliefs about 2 years ago... now I identify as agnostic. A few months ago I told my parents about my love for my frie...
A. 28 July 2012: I think a big part of your problem here is impatience. Informing your family of your love for your friend at the same time as, or close to, the revelation of your new found agnosticism casts a shadow over him. They have linked the latter with ... (read in full...)
What should I do? We broke up but he wants me 'on hold' but in his life? Yet he is talking to other girls already?
Q. Hi all, I have recently (2 weeks ago) broken up with a boyfriend of 4 months. The circumstances of the break-up were as follows: He stopped showing me any affection, he was cancelling plans to see me and he has avoided calls, simply texting m...
A. 28 July 2012: What your man friend wants is the companionship, the security and party favours of a relationship without the obligation or the sense of confinement.
If he wants to remain friends and that's fine with you then be FRIENDS. Platonic friends.... (read in full...)
Where do I go from here? I seem to have lost my "friendly colleagues" in the charity shop I helped.
Q. I live in a fairly small area (an island) and worked in a charity shop which I enjoyed however for the second time one of the managers decided to open his own shop. The first manager and one of the workers opened their own shop. The second m...
A. 28 July 2012: Find someone else to help. Somone or some group entirely unrelated to the first bunch. Say nothing about any of this to anyone and if it's ever brought up by anyone else, whatever you do say should be positive and upbeat.
Speculating with others a... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Since you asked...
My opinion is that both of you were very crass and immature. He should not have sent that text, nor had a friend involved in the sending of it.
And you should have completely ignored it then deleted his number and block... (read in full...)
Bad girls, let me sign up. Guys, why are the sweet girls never enough for you?
Q. I am sick of being the good girl. We do finish last. 26 years is quite enough of believing fairytales, giving your all in love only to get burned, cheated and dissapointed... And watch how other women, who only think about what they want get aw...
A. 28 July 2012: OP, is this you as well? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-are-your-best-tips-to-help-me.html... (read in full...)
Bad girls, let me sign up. Guys, why are the sweet girls never enough for you?
Q. I am sick of being the good girl. We do finish last. 26 years is quite enough of believing fairytales, giving your all in love only to get burned, cheated and dissapointed... And watch how other women, who only think about what they want get aw...
A. 28 July 2012: You're obviously hurt and angry and maybe you need to lash out a little. It might be better to do that in a journal than at actual people. People who give everything are not a challenge. They are not interesting and they have an agenda. Instead ... (read in full...)
We agreed we would only watch porn together, but now I've found loads of porn sites on his computer and phone! How do I confront him about this?
Q. I have been in a few relationships where my boyfriends would watch porn. I had a very hard time with it at first because I felt that I wasn't good enough so they had to look elsewhere... I now have done more research and understand it more - so ...
A. 27 July 2012: Once again I agree with YouWish and Cerberus.
... (read in full...)
Could this make someone pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend touched me and then touched the outside of her underwear lightly. I had noticed some pre-ejaculate earlier that was on my underwear. She noticed that she was a bit 'wet' afterwards from herself. She did not feel any liquid from me. It ...
A. 27 July 2012: No, there isn't.... (read in full...)
How do I get my Boyfriend's trust back?
Q. Okay so my boyfriend lost trust in me because he told me something that I didn't know that he wanted me to keep it to myself, and yesterday was our two month anniversary. I told his sister something I thought that was cute and she told him and made ...
A. 27 July 2012: I can understand beying put off by someone betraying his confidence, but you'd been dating less than two months. Surely he would not have shared something that intimate so soon. And his imperious 'if you can figure out how to win my trust back' bit ... (read in full...)
How can I heal his heart?
Q. My bf's first gf i.e A broke his heart so he has been playing with the feelings of girls since then, A and i have become good friends and she told me she was the one who broke my guy's heart because she isn't in love with him but with someone and ...
A. 26 July 2012: I too agree with Cerberus. I wouldn't buy into this 'heal his heart' clap trap. Only he can do that. And the ex girlfriend might have suggested it to heal her own guilty conscience. She doesn't have to feel bad about hurting him if she knows someone ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how my married lover can lead a double life!
Q. This question is directed more towards the experts in the field of infidelity because I'm really curious as to how she can live with herself. What gets me is how some of her peers and co-workers perceive her to be this classy upstanding woman...
A. 26 July 2012: We all lead double lives in a way. We all have flaws (to do with appearance, skills, lack thereof, our deeds or things that may have happened to us) that we prefer to keep private. People who cheat are no different. How easy it is to ... (read in full...)
How do you bring up mental illness in a delicate way?
Q. I always thought something was off with my BF until recently when I found out for sure there's something very off. I found tiny, secret cameras hidden in small holes all over our apartment, my mail was opened by him, and I think he records my ...
A. 26 July 2012: End the relationship and site his behaviour as the cause for the break up. Do this after you have safely moved all of your belongings out. He should have no advance warning. I say this not to be punitive but to be cautious. He did not do this bec... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how my married lover can lead a double life!
Q. This question is directed more towards the experts in the field of infidelity because I'm really curious as to how she can live with herself. What gets me is how some of her peers and co-workers perceive her to be this classy upstanding woman...
A. 25 July 2012: Am I missing something? Is this just a woman you know or are you the paramour of the woman in question?... (read in full...)
Do you believe someone can 'change' when it comes to excessive porn.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, in the past he's looked at women, had a blog full of half naked women, womens butts etc when he knew it upset me and continued, he bought lads magazines AFTER we started going out. Now he claims he's ...
A. 24 July 2012: I really don't know if you're insecure in general or just about the porn and I can't tell if you're overly strict about it. There just isn't enough information to go on.
What I can tell you is that collecting pictures of naked women is obviousl... (read in full...)
I need to get out of the rigid, male dominated world that I am trapped in and pursue my dreams, but I'm helpless!
Q. This is not a love question really but perhaps am writing it now because I really need help maybe some comforting words or even encouraging ones Am an 18 years old girl from the Arab world I have 2 brothers !! As an Arab girl am certainly not be e...
A. 24 July 2012: You can either apply for a scholarship as has been suggested or bide your time, acquire skills, earn whatever money you can until you're ready and able to move out on your own. Don't announce your plans to anyone, naturally, as you don't want to ... (read in full...)
My dad won't come to my wedding!
Q. Hi, I recently got engaged to a wonderful man and we are planning a wedding for spring 2013. I've been with my now fiance for about 6 years now, so I feel like my dad should have had this coming. To put it into perspective, my dad had a cold u...
A. 23 July 2012: I agree with your fiance's suggestion. Don't specifically exclude your parents, but have a simple plan that does not require them to be there.
And as SVC points out the marriage is more important than the wedding. Keep it simple, light and upbe... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 23 July 2012: I can totally understand why you were angry and the frustration of dealing with someone who doesn't seem to care when you're in some kind of distress. Your reaction was over the top, but I do understand.
Aspergers or no, he has given you a glimps... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 23 July 2012: I'm with your boyfriend on this one.
I understand you're worried that he made you look bad to his mother, but his assessment of the situation was accurate. YOU are the intended recipient of any help your mother offers. It may benefit your boy... (read in full...)
Were my mum's actions to pull out the house sale justified?
Q. I have been renting a room in a house share for about 5 years. I am living with 5 other people and at times i didn't like it but i didn't have a choice. I have always worked full time. All my friends were getting on the property ladder and getti...
A. 20 July 2012: It seems a bit much to be that angry about, but yuor mum might have other things no her mkind or she was a bit skittish about buying the property in the first place and this gave her an out.
She may calm down and change her mind before long. Gi... (read in full...)
Is this normal for all men or is my bf an ass?
Q. I was having a fight with my bf about him flirting( especially online) with wayyyy too many girls. He said, "they don't matter because you came first". I told him that I don't care if I came first...............I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE! He asks me ...
A. 20 July 2012: He's not boyfriend material. I don't know why on Earth you're with him even arguing about this.
Get rid of him.
... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 19 July 2012: I would not have confessed to the clandenstine meetings because I think it will do more harm than good. However what's done is done.
There are different kinds of intimacy most of which can be satisfied by friends and family. If you had more of ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: I submitted my second answer before I saw your follow up.
His mother did not suggest you marry because she thinks it will be good for the two of you, but because she thinks it will be good for the two of THEM.
Her son, having already lost so ... (read in full...)
Where can I go to get the paint job on my car fixed?
Q. My sister scratched my car today and wrecked the paint job without sayin a word while it was parked beside my house today. she was too lazy to drive down the back and turn and instead turns at the side which is a very tight squeeze. She didnt say ...
A. 18 July 2012: You could file a claim with your insurer (assuming you have insurance) but without proof that she caused the damage and unless she is willing to admit to it officially, you will have to pay a deducible (which is usually $500 here and assuming you ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to be honest to my GF when she asked a valid Question?
Q. Ok just had a conversation with my GF, she asked if any women from my past had contacted me. So I was honest and answered affirmatively that an Ex had contacted me just shooting the breeze and wanting to get together next time i was in town and abou...
A. 18 July 2012: You did not do anything wrong here and the way to show you are trustworthy is to continue doing what you're doing. That is being honest even when you think she won't like the answer.
Her apprehension is valid when you remember how many people h... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: By the way, I didn't mean that as an endorsement of this secret fling. Just that it isn't for us to judge you and that I think you are a bit quick to judge yourself harshly.
I do recommend that you carefully evaluate some of your choices, includin... (read in full...)
Where can I go to get the paint job on my car fixed?
Q. My sister scratched my car today and wrecked the paint job without sayin a word while it was parked beside my house today. she was too lazy to drive down the back and turn and instead turns at the side which is a very tight squeeze. She didnt say ...
A. 18 July 2012: A body shop. They often have the word 'Collision' in the name.
... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want to have a wedding but not get married legally?
Q. I'm talking to my ex again and things are heading in the right direction. However, I recently inherited a lot of money so my life is going to be very different. I'm planning to travel a lot and I'm not planning to have a "real" job. I just want to ...
A. 18 July 2012: I don't see the point in having a wedding but not being married, so yes the idea does seem silly. 'Just a party in fancy clothes' indeed.
Protecting your individuality and your assets IS very reasonable though. As has ben suggested consult ... (read in full...)
I've been dating my friend for the past year but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends nor his family to know about it
Q. Dear Cupid I am been dating my friend for past 1 year, but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends to know. He hasn't introduced me to his friends or his family. Recently he asked me not to send any text messages, i usually don't send much ...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm with the others. There are only two reasons he would have for concealing your relationship.
1. He's seeing someone else
2. He's not seeing anyone else but wants to keep his options open
Like SVC, the fact that he doesn't want yuo eve... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: If you insist on judging yourself when you fall short of your mark then must also balance it with credit where credit is due.
What you're doing, caring for someone who can't do anything for themselves is no small thing. You don't need me to tell ... (read in full...)
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