Does my long distance lover really love me or is she just playing around?
Q. I have a LDR and I love her, but Im not sure if she loves me as I do. She is cold, doesnt show emotions, doesnt say any sweet words, doesnt call me, sometimes txts and usually never asks about how my day was... However when we are together she is v...
A. 26 August 2012: The woman seems genuinely fond of you. To many Europeans Americans seem overly emotional, demonstrative and in need of constant external validation. What you see as 'cold' is quite normal to everyone else. Before you drop the love bomb,... (read in full...)
I feel like I should respect my parents' wishes, but ...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and for the most part I think we've been pretty happy. I plan on moving out with him most likely within the next year, but I'm living with my parents right now and it's causing a lot of tension between me ...
A. 26 August 2012: What is it YOU want? Having the answer to that question will help you decide what to do. That doesn't mean you have to rush out and do it and to hell with everyone else, but it will give you a good starting point. Your boyfriend is understandabl... (read in full...)
Married one year. He disgusts me and he will not sleep with me. What should I do?
Q. My husband and I just passed our 1 year anniversary ... However he disgusts me. I can't stand to be around him, he won't even sleep with me.. So I resent him for that. He won't take showers for days, doesn't even change his underwear, won't brus...
A. 25 August 2012: Why not tell him what you told us? You're not rushing out the door, but you are losing interest and if life without him has more appeal (or a more promising suitor comes along) then you may leave. Keep it brief and be matter of fact. If you com... (read in full...)
I was at a swinger's party, didn't do anything but don't want my ex to find out!
Q. Sorry I'm gonna keep this as short as possible. I am still in love with my ex. we broke up 3 yrs ago. One of our mutual friend told me a month ago tht she told him that she still likes me. I was super happy to hear tht. We broke up cuz I wasn't ...
A. 25 August 2012: One of the cardinal rules in these alternative lifestyles is not to out anyone. Those who do risk becoming personna non grata. Most of the people at that party don't want anyone else to know about it either.
Either the woman really didn't remember... (read in full...)
Booty is one thing. But were this man's actions disrespectful and selfish?
Q. I met a guy who I slept with the first night. I regreted it the next day and didn't think I'd hear from him again. He works 2 weeks on 1 week off and has been texting me, asking me how I am etc and whether I wanted to catch up when he came back. W...
A. 25 August 2012: Give him the flick. Suggesting nice places to go is wasted on someone who invites himself into your home for a blow job.
Please don't even waste your breath on a dicsussion with this guy. He just isn't worth it and it would look like you cared to... (read in full...)
How can I better deal with my hostile snappy bossy GirlF? I feel hurt when she unleashes this fury
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and she's just starting to show a different side of her. She snaps, and gets bossy and overbearing sometimes. I'm a really polite and tactful person, so I try to speak to her very respectf...
A. 24 August 2012: I can start off by telling you what NOT to do. Stop trying to explain to her how her conduct makes you feel.
1. It makes you look weak
2. It gives her an opportunity to play the victim
3. She already knows how it effects you which is why she... (read in full...)
Are You A Partner Or A Liability?
Q. Are You A Partner Or A Liability? When it really is you and not them By Frank Kermit, Relationships “It’s not you, it’s me.” Have you ever heard that said to you when someone broke up with you? Have you ever been the one to use it when dump...
A. 24 August 2012: A useful article that applies not only to potential lovers but friends as well. Be the kind of person you want to attract.
Thanks for posting this. ... (read in full...)
Do I stay and wait for b/f to grow up? Or realize its over and hit the road?
Q. Hello Agonies. My boyfriend and i have been in a 3yr and 6mo. on and off relationship. Throughout this relationship he has cheated multiples of times, constantly lies and mistreats me, no communication whatsoever, doesn't try to make things right ...
A. 24 August 2012: You don't know what you've done to inspire this kind of treatment? Really? No ideas whatsoever?
What you did to earn this treatment (yes, EARN) was not only stick around for it, but work even harder to show your boyfriend you loved him. You rewa... (read in full...)
Is he falling in love or is he just stringing me along?
Q. The married man i have been seeing for the last 7yrs we are both in our sixties,is suddenly telling me he can't do without me, misses me terribly,and that i'm more than just a friend i am a very special part of his life and he doesn't want to loose ...
A. 24 August 2012: You know him better than we do and if you can't tell then we won't be able to either. I can understand being skeptical though since you already know he's capable of stringing people along.
Is it love he fels? Maybe. It's more likely he has grow... (read in full...)
He's not responding..will he be around for the baby?
Q. Dear Cupid I am with bf for 2 years, we live on different cities. I visited him few weeks back and we had nice time. We used condom but it broke, anyway i got pregnant now. I was thinking about keeping the child, even if it means i will be a sing...
A. 24 August 2012: I don't think you should jump to conclusions at this stage. It's early yet and he may have a reasonable explanation for not getting back to you (one that his friends are unaware of).
The news may have come as a shock to him. You're not the only... (read in full...)
Will having a threesome with my wife ruin our relationship? She's the one who brought it up.
Q. My wife asked me to have a 3sum with another female. I'm up for the idea but I thought about it more and I don't know how it will change our relationship, am I not pleasing her enugh, she orgasms at least three time every time we have sex. What she ...
A. 23 August 2012: If you suspect you're not enough then imagine how your wife felt when you asked her for a threesome two years ago. In that case though, you wanted another woman. Your wife didn't ask for another man. You're smart enough to have second thoughts ... (read in full...)
I wet his bed while I was drunk, and don't know if I should tell him about it.
Q. I've been seeing this guy and we've been sleeping together. After a drunken night, I woke up and realized I had peed in his bed. I was embarrassed and didn't want to say anything so I just covered it up with the comforter and am hoping it will dry ...
A. 21 August 2012: He's going to notice it eventually and he'll put two and two together. You might as well come clean instead of waiting for this to come out in the laundry. I couldn't resist that. Your mess isn't just in his sheets. It's in his mattress too and last ... (read in full...)
Do I walk away now?
Q. Hello, I am a 33 year old woman. I met a man thru a mutual friend about 2 months ago and we have been dating very frequently. The only problem is, he is an ex heroine addict that is living in a halfway house for another month. He went thru reh...
A. 21 August 2012: Walk away now. When he has sorted himself out, and has a few years of sobriety and stability under his belt then consider dating him if he's still in the picture and you're both so inclined.
People can change and do so every day, for better a... (read in full...)
Ffacebook issue with my LDR. Help Please!!!!!
Q. So, Im here in need of advice =) My ldr girlfriend and i are happy, i love her and she loves me. We ve been together for 3 months and I just came back from a trip to europe to see her, mom and some of her friends and she doesnt like the idea to ...
A. 21 August 2012: I agree. Facebook (and forums like it) are not a litmus test for the sincerity of one's regard for you.
The more you make your private life public the more you subject it to scrutiny, speculation, gossip and questions. It really doesn't enhance ... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 21 August 2012: I don't know that he wanted to use you for sex. His response was very defensive and immature, but that may be because he is as rusty at dating as you are and was humiliated by his mistake and the subsequent rejection.
Folks can become attached... (read in full...)
My friend wants me to have a threesome with him and his brother.
Q. Um...my friend(who I really like) wants to try and have a threesome with him, me, and his brother. I agreed but now nervous. I really like him but I don't want him to think I'm just the type whose up from anything. He told me, he wouldn't mind going ...
A. 21 August 2012: If you follow through with this threesome business then that is exactly what he'll think of you because that is exactly what you'll be. Up for anything.
A guy who really, REALLY likes you wants you all to himself. He doesn't want other guys ogl... (read in full...)
Ex is going religious for the wrong reasons
Q. Alright folks, this dabbles in a very touchy subject - religion. Steer clear if you take offense easily! Lets play some catch-up for a second. Here's the VHS fast-forward version. GF and I break up. GF gets new boytoy. GF realizes new boytoy is ab...
A. 21 August 2012: Instead of trying to get her to come around, why not just let this phase run it's course? It's obviously something she needs to try at this point.
And there are certainly worse things than being Christian. It's not as if she has to get steriliz... (read in full...)
Driving accident wasn't my fault. Should I pursue it?
Q. I was driving home tonight from town and i was on the stretch to my house when i turned a corner slowly and as i was coming up the road a car passed me on my side and broke my wing mirror. i was was really shocked and nearly shit myself. the drivers ...
A. 21 August 2012: Ultimately the decision to pursue this rests with the registered owner of the vehicle you were driving.
Just to clarify, were you in the process of turning into the country road or had you already successfully completed the turn at the time you... (read in full...)
How can I get her to leave me alone?
Q. There's this woman that I work with that took a liking to me. At first she would subtly show interest by asking me how I was and if I needed anything, I could ask her. I never thought anything of it so I started to talk to her on a friendly basis ...
A. 20 August 2012: Most welcome.
Most people, like yourself, will err on the side of caution in social settings. Your colleague, however, is so starved for attention, affection, validation or whatever it is she seeks, that she ignores those subtle hints. She sees... (read in full...)
How can I get her to leave me alone?
Q. There's this woman that I work with that took a liking to me. At first she would subtly show interest by asking me how I was and if I needed anything, I could ask her. I never thought anything of it so I started to talk to her on a friendly basis ...
A. 20 August 2012: I was typing my answer before I saw your follow up.
My advice....do NOT try to explain where you're coming from. All she will understand is whether you're going to give her what she wants or not. If not, she will keep trying to get it and become a... (read in full...)
How can I get her to leave me alone?
Q. There's this woman that I work with that took a liking to me. At first she would subtly show interest by asking me how I was and if I needed anything, I could ask her. I never thought anything of it so I started to talk to her on a friendly basis ...
A. 20 August 2012: I had a feeling your colleague was an older, overweight woman before you mentioned it. Her behaviour is consistent with someone who either missed out on a wild youth and wasn't part of the 'in crowd' or did and is trying to relive it because she ... (read in full...)
Is it likely that he's really cheating? Or just boasting? If true, then I feel as though I'm not attractive enough for him
Q. My partner recently put password locks on his mobile phones, I was suspicious and managed to get into his phone and found he's frequently sending txts to his mate about all the hot women he's seeing while making deliveries. Plus how he's going to ...
A. 20 August 2012: This sounds more like boasting to me. Teenage boasting at that.
Even if he isn't cheating he clearly wants others to think he is. He wants people to believe you're waiting faithfully at home for him like a mug, while he's having all this mind blo... (read in full...)
Is there any hope that I will ever have a relationship when I have nothing to offer girls?
Q. I don't think I have anything to offer girls because I'm not rich, good-looking or the party type. I only have my time and my heart but it doesn't seem to be enough in this world. I don't believe in casual sex or using people and this alienate...
A. 20 August 2012: This is yours as well, OP?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-just-stay-single-for-life-or.html... (read in full...)
Is there any hope that I will ever have a relationship when I have nothing to offer girls?
Q. I don't think I have anything to offer girls because I'm not rich, good-looking or the party type. I only have my time and my heart but it doesn't seem to be enough in this world. I don't believe in casual sex or using people and this alienate...
A. 20 August 2012: To chalk up your past failures to other people's character flaws is to do both you and others a disservice.
What you need is a change in strategy. There are plenty of women out there who want what you have to offer, and are eager to offer th... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 20 August 2012: This is not unique to men. Many people do it because, frankly, they've run out of interesting things to talk about and fall back on what they think is common ground. Another reason is the time warp that internet acquaintances seem to go through. ... (read in full...)
My partner won't stop smoking cannabis.
Q. i love my partner very much he works hard a good dad to our 2 year old and a loving partner but at the weekend he smokes canabis and i hate it i cant see any way round this problem i cant talk to him when he smokes it to me hes on another planet to ...
A. 18 August 2012: What exactly is it you don't like about it? He does it only on weekends, correct? Does he miss work because of it? Has he missed important events? Has he neglected your child? Has he had any mishaps because of it? Does he use up grocery money to buy ... (read in full...)
Is she being selfish and inconsiderate, or am I the jerk for feeling this way?
Q. My Gf of about 6 months is starting to get on my nerves..im so tired the relationship is like a full time job with no day off... i do whatever she ask from babysiting her young child to taking her to work and other places she needs to go.Movi...
A. 18 August 2012: I'd hardly consider your girlfriend independent. You're being used as a meal ticket.
It's almost seems as if she sees your finances circling the bowl and she's trying to collect what she can before that happens. The quicker you get rid of her, the... (read in full...)
How do I reason with a controlling boyfriend? Yes I have self esteem issues, but my Bf 's reactions have hurt me.
Q. I have the possibility to study abroad for 4 months. This represents a big opportunity to experience different things, help me get a diploma that will help me with my career and be fun/exciting in general. I really want to go, my mind is alre...
A. 17 August 2012: If there is no direct benefit to him he won't see it in a positive light no matter how you explain it. The more you appear to care what he thinks the more influence he will try to exert.
What you need to do is be confident about the choice y... (read in full...)
How do I tell people these things? Without feeling embarrassed or stupid about it?
Q. I was talking with my friend the other day and she asked me "what's the thing you've done in life that you're ashamed of and wish you had never done?" I said i don't know because i hate telling people the real answer. The truth is, the thing i'...
A. 17 August 2012: The simple answer is you don't. Don't share things you're not comofrtable with everyone knowing. You're not under any obligation to expose past mistakes.
Next time someone asks, tell them you don't answer those questions.... (read in full...)
How to handle discussions on sex?
Q. I am a 30-year-old male who, due to many factors, has been pretty far behind the curve when it comes to relationships and sex. I didn't date in any form for most of my 20s due to personal issues. I've managed to turn things around a bit these past ...
A. 16 August 2012: I don't think you need to get into any detail about your sexual history. It really isn't anyone else's business. Skills can be acquired any time and it's not as if you must declare your mileage prior to purchase.
Some people do ask, and if you a... (read in full...)
Are the fights between my wife and me just a veiled passive-aggressive fight to be the one to "wear the pants" in our relationship?
Q. My wife is awesome, smart, beautiful, an amazing mother, and a accomplished ballerina. I love her with my entire being. I'm confident she feels that same love for me We have one big issue to tackle and it is a matter of pride and control ---...
A. 16 August 2012: The person who has what it takes to be in charge, IS in charge. True leaders do not fight and argue about who is the boss and they don't try to control others. They INSPIRE others to want to follow them, by showing they are wise, trustworthy and ... (read in full...)
I don't know if this is workplace bullying :( what can I do?
Q. First off thanks for reading, i know it's quite long but today this has really gotten to me and i don't know what to think, hence why i am turning to you lovely people :) I have been working for a small but successful company for the past 4 years...
A. 16 August 2012: Your troubles with the company pre-date this manager so I second Honeypie's advice to update your resume and start looking for another job. It certainly wouldn't hurt your case to scan (or photocopy) any letters of praise from clients, obvious... (read in full...)
She'll never admit that she's out of line!
Q. Basically been with this women for 7-8 months and she constantly will never admit that she is out of line whether we have a debate or an argument. Below is our recent Skype chat which i believe she has gone to far with. As you read this conver...
A. 16 August 2012: I just read Stacy's answer. Yep, I agree.
... (read in full...)
She'll never admit that she's out of line!
Q. Basically been with this women for 7-8 months and she constantly will never admit that she is out of line whether we have a debate or an argument. Below is our recent Skype chat which i believe she has gone to far with. As you read this conver...
A. 16 August 2012: My thoughts are...
1. She wasn't trying to pick a fight. She wanted you to chase her the way you did when you were first drawn to her. She was fishing for compliments and reassurance. By making accusations she hoped to get it by manipula... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong here and if so how do I make amends?
Q. Hey, I need help with someone very important to me. I was texting my guy friend and he spelt a few things completely wrong, so naturally, I told him to learn how to spell (I was only joking )... But this is where things get messed up. He responded- ...
A. 16 August 2012: Most welcome :)
... (read in full...)
Is hubby into a threesome for us or for him?
Q. Ok so I have been with my husband 6 yrs and loving it. Well our love got a lil boring and we spiced it a lil which worked btw. We had a lil fun with another couple and I think were both ready to just do it with a. Single girl (threesome). I like her ...
A. 14 August 2012: He's doing it first and foremost for himself, although he will want both of you to enjoy it too.
Men, unlike women, aren't dumb enough to take a hit for the team when it comes to sex. If they aren't certain they will love it, they don't do it. I... (read in full...)
Does her sexual past matter? Would I prefer this new friend over my GF just because of my Gf's sexual past?
Q. I have never been the jealous type and I am not sure I would define what I feel as jealousy. My new girlfriend sexual past is really affecting me. I have had quite a few girlfriends in my life and never felt anything like this before. Not even c...
A. 14 August 2012: OP, I owe you an apology. I misread the latter part of your question to mean that you have a woman friend lined up to replace your girlfriend. That wasn't what you said at all.
Mea culpa. ... (read in full...)
Does her sexual past matter? Would I prefer this new friend over my GF just because of my Gf's sexual past?
Q. I have never been the jealous type and I am not sure I would define what I feel as jealousy. My new girlfriend sexual past is really affecting me. I have had quite a few girlfriends in my life and never felt anything like this before. Not even c...
A. 14 August 2012: The question is whether you should give up one for the other. Both are good but the new friend might be better.
Besides her philosophy about sex what do you actually know of her past? Many women who share your views came to them after making a... (read in full...)
How to include my father in my wedding plans without offending my mother
Q. Next May I am getting married. Sadly with all weddings come stress. My parents are divorced and have been since I was 2. I had no contact with my father till I was 16 (he abandoned us and never tried to get in contact). My mother is walking me down ...
A. 14 August 2012: Have an open and frank discussion with your mum about it. Did she have a father growing up? If so, you could use that to drive the point home.
As for the song, perhaps you should consider an instrumental one. A good one is Stranger on the Shor... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 14 August 2012: OP, your question is based on the assumption that women ONLY want to get married, breed children and dote on a man. It may have seemed that way in the past but that was because there were so few options available to women. A great many remai... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 14 August 2012: 'Canals' being a bit specific as opposed to a non commital 'out and about', you mean?
It's not as specific as a setting up a date, time and particular place to meet so it tells me she is happy to cross paths with you now and then, but not going ou... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 13 August 2012: This woman informed you very clearly, very early on that she was not interested. She is not beating around the bush, playing games or trying to be coy and she doesn't initiate contact. She really is not interested.
She is receptive to friendsh... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012: My God, a man who finally understands me!
All these years I pretended (or deluded myself into believing) I had a need for adventure, excitement and challenge. I always thought I could have some of that by travelling, reading, day trips to the cine... (read in full...)
Was I in the wrong here and if so how do I make amends?
Q. Hey, I need help with someone very important to me. I was texting my guy friend and he spelt a few things completely wrong, so naturally, I told him to learn how to spell (I was only joking )... But this is where things get messed up. He responded- ...
A. 13 August 2012: Overreact much?
When I first read this question I thought it was from a teenager. Your friend's vicious and explosive reaction was totally out of proportion to the supposed crime.
I wouldn't bother trying to make amends. He could have handl... (read in full...)
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