Husband acts bizarre when we fight. If he got help, could he change?
Q. Hello, I don’t usually ask for advice to bear with me if I provide too much or irrelevant detail. I am Christian woman married to a (moderately) Muslim man. We dated about 1.5 years before getting married. I was hesitant about marrying him beca...
A. 1 June 2012: The first thing that comes to mind is 'Thank God, you're living in the USA and not whereever he's from'. If you were I think your predicament would be so much worse.
Licking your face is certainly odd, but the rest of it is just plain domineer... (read in full...)
He sent a text saying 'sweet dreams to the sexy one'. What would you make of this?
Q. Hi all, My boyfriend and i always txt each other good nite and it's usually cute and personal,but last nite he texts nite nite sweet dreams he always says those words first, but then he added, to the sexy one. Maybe i'm being silly but that t...
A. 30 May 2012: I think you're over analyzing and over reacting.... (read in full...)
I already have a partner but have a friend who wants a friends with benefits relationship with me
Q. Hi everyone. i need some help. I am a mother of two, in a great relationship with a guy i adore. we have been together 8 years, and the kids are from a previous relationship. so heres where my problem begins, we have a mutual friend and recent...
A. 30 May 2012: I don't know why you're considering this either.
What would you think if your fiance had a female friend whom he adored, who'd been there for him during difficult times and suddenly declared she wanted him to be a regular sex partner?
I think... (read in full...)
Worried that the webcam session might have been recorded?
Q. Hello, Could use some advice..... I engaged in a webcam chat on msn. Met the girl in a chatbox. The girl was in lingerie. Was fun so I stripped to my boxers. But when I refused to pull my boxers down she ended the chat and went offline. Maybe it ...
A. 30 May 2012: It doubt it was recorded. There is nothing here that would suggest to me it was.
... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 30 May 2012: Like I said...sex is for and about HIM. HE gets to feel good, plus he gets to look good by making you feel good. Your pleasure is more like a collateral benefit, not the goal.
I suggest you keep it simple. Do what you need to do to enjoy yourself... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I MIGHT be pregnant?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months now. We get along very well and things are great up until now. The problem is that my period is late and I think I might be pregnant. I know I shouldnt freak out until I know for sure but Im worried. ...
A. 29 May 2012: Excellent news! Good thing you didn't stir up a hornet's nest for nothing.
Thanks for letting us know.
Best of luck.... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 29 May 2012: The clarification helps somewhat. At least I have a better idea of the sort your boyfriend is, but I'm a bit confused about what it is you want.
When you say you need more foreplay, what exactly do you mean? Isn't rubbing you and sucking your bre... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 28 May 2012: Well, we know what option his previous girlfriend's took, don't we? If they'd have been honest with him, you wouldn't be living with this now. Don't just pass this off on to some other woman to deal with.
He clearly doesn't have the expertis... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you date a disabled girl?
Q. Hi there. I have a simple question; how do people view people with disability for relationships. Particularly, guys, would you easily date a disabled girl? Thanks....
A. 28 May 2012: A guy would probably have to know exactly what the disability was so he would know what he was signing up for. Some physical challenges require a bigger sacrifice than others.
There is a big difference between someone who is deaf and someone ... (read in full...)
How can I show my boyfriend I really love him with out having sex ?
Q. how can i show my boyfriend i really love him with out having sex with him i am planning to be with him for a very long time any ideas tips it would realy help!...
A. 27 May 2012: I understand you're boyfriend is not pressuring you to have sex, and that's great, but that is as it should be. You don't need to reward him for doing what he is supposed to do in polite society.
Do not get sucked into that all too common t... (read in full...)
Should I make another attempt with this guy?
Q. Hi, i'm really confused about what to do and hope someone here can help. Around a month ago, i met this guy through an online forum. We started chatting and a few days later exchanged numbers and started texting each other. We would text all day ...
A. 27 May 2012: You're very quick to assume that you did something wrong here. Why? Does it comfort you to think you have more control over things than you actually do?
It's perfectly normal not to be as demonstrative as others and you certainly don't have to ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you date a disabled girl?
Q. Hi there. I have a simple question; how do people view people with disability for relationships. Particularly, guys, would you easily date a disabled girl? Thanks....
A. 27 May 2012: Just a guess, but the men would probably need to know exactly what this diability is before answering that question.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become even more controlling
Q. Hi all,Please help. I;m worried. MY BF has been very controlling for the last 14 months. I do not live with him, and have started getting back to my normal self, eg: feeling ok and dressing better, and getting my life back. I am trying to detach. ...
A. 25 May 2012: Stay the course. What he's doing is very common and should ease up when he sees that it won't get him what he wants. It may take a while, but have faith and take whatever precautions you deem necessary for your own safety and well being.
I wen... (read in full...)
Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn?
Q. Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him ...
A. 25 May 2012: That's a new one. For me anyway. A man who takes viagra to masturbate. He needs pills because he can't even turn HIMSELF on. What good is he to you?
I might have sympathy for him if he weren't so self absorbed.
What he does or doesn't do, what... (read in full...)
Is my colleague playing hard to get?
Q. Why is she doing this to me? and is she playing hard to get or not? I am a guy aged 35 (currently married but on separation) who is interested in female working colleague. She is a 43 year old widow who has one a 17 year old son. We have been wor...
A. 24 May 2012: I think you have misread the situation entirely.
What you took to be a sexual invitation, she meant as courtesy and platonic affection.
The whole point of 'stealing glances' at her chest is so she doesn't notice, correct? It's no great leap to... (read in full...)
I've been corresponding with a well known porn star
Q. Hey all! I've been in touch with a rather well-known porn star as of late via email. She heard one of my latest mixes I posted on twitter, emailed my friend about how to get in touch with me, and she told me she really liked what I did so she off...
A. 24 May 2012: My first idea is this question is a thinly disguised bragging session.
My second idea is that the woman, no doubt, has countless men hitting on her. You are one of the few she doesn't have to keep at bay which, for her, is a refreshing change. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I MIGHT be pregnant?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months now. We get along very well and things are great up until now. The problem is that my period is late and I think I might be pregnant. I know I shouldnt freak out until I know for sure but Im worried. ...
A. 24 May 2012: 'I know I shouldnt freak out until I know for sure...' You just as well as anyone else could.
The logical solution is to confirm whether or not you're actually pregnant. If you're not then you don't have to tell your boyfriend or anyone else any... (read in full...)
He's going on the cruise we planned to go on together without me! Am I wrong to be upset with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. A few months into our relationship his sister invited him on a cruise because his nephew couldn't go at the last minute. At the same time he got laid off from his job so the getaway was good for ...
A. 24 May 2012: I hate typos...
What I meant was he could have invited you along (after speaking with the friend first). You could have paid for yourself and hung out with your boyfriend and out of the friend's way, so as not to crash that friend's vacation... (read in full...)
What do I do about this man's sudden interest?
Q. I am in the middle of a business venture, and I'm 16. While meeting with investors and some other people on a project, I met a man, married, who lives near me and wants to meet at some point. We talked briefly and he ended up driving me home. I ...
A. 24 May 2012: Whatever his agenda he certainly gives the impression that he's interested in something on the side. He is more friendly that propiety would allow. An honorouable, responsible person wouldn't behave in such a way as to leave someone wondering.
... (read in full...)
I think I am the reason for many of the problems in my girlfriend's life
Q. I've been dating this girl for a few months and I am worried I am the reason for all her problems. We get along great and have lots of fun together but everyone makes comments on the fact that we are so opposite of each other. And its true we could...
A. 24 May 2012: Your past isn't helping her, obviously but it is not the source of the problem. If you up and leave her she won't believe you're doing it for her sake (nor would anyone else). She'll know you're just running away and using her as an excuse. What ... (read in full...)
I think I am the reason for many of the problems in my girlfriend's life
Q. I've been dating this girl for a few months and I am worried I am the reason for all her problems. We get along great and have lots of fun together but everyone makes comments on the fact that we are so opposite of each other. And its true we could...
A. 23 May 2012: If you want to leave her for YOU, that's your decision, but what is in in HER best interests is HER call to make. She knows better than you do what she can and cannot handle.
She already feels as though people around her are trying to control ... (read in full...)
I think boyfriend might be cheating and now he's acting all clingy
Q. Hi all, just a quick question please to get your views. if you suspect your BF is having an affair, but know that you are quite insecure, and have trust issues yourself and cannot prove anything, so then you back right off and he starts coming on ...
A. 22 May 2012: The fact that your boyfriend is clingy when you withdraw simply means he doesn't want to lose you (be it for love or security). It does not suggest or prove he is or isn't cheating.
... (read in full...)
He lies, cheats, steals and does drugs for the buzz!
Q. I have been with my fiancee for a few year,we knew each other from being 13 year old and hung around 2gther! Anyway we grew up had relationships and both had children! In first couple months togther he told me he used to have a heroine and crack ...
A. 20 May 2012: Soulmates?? Seriously?
What exactly is it about this guy and his conduct that would lead you to believe you were soulmates?
Was it the heroine addiction? The crack addiction? The alcoholism? The stealing? The womanizing? The insults levelled... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called my phone but called me someone else's name??
Q. Hi My bf fought with me couple of days back, because i called him twice when he was hanging out with his friends. After that I didn't call him and neither did he. Today he sent text, saying sorry for his shouting at me and i didn't resp...
A. 20 May 2012: The 'XXX" is an actual woman's name, not a generic nickname like 'pumpkin' or sweetheart', correct? If that's so then I wouldn't read anything into that alone. Over the years I've called people by the wrong name on a number of occasions and had the ... (read in full...)
Am I being played by letting him woo me all over again?
Q. Ok so after four months of being broken up my ex contacted me to tell me how mich he missed me and that he missed everything about me and has thought about me everyday since the split which was his decision. We were together for about a year i meet ...
A. 20 May 2012: You are absolutely right to let him make all the first moves and let him woo you. That includes declarations of love or any other other affection. Always let HIM go out on the limb first. If and when he does, do not feel obliged to meet him halfway ... (read in full...)
How can my husband say he loves me when he is seeing someone else?
Q. Here's my situation. I have been married for 13 yrs. Three out of these years my husband and I have been apart. He rented a house but still comes here and sleep at times. We have four kids. When I asked him where are we going with our lives he ...
A. 18 May 2012: This is a no brainer and Denise is right, though I disagree with her last paragraph.
If you decide to stay with him then I'm afraid you do deserve him. If you don't want your life to stink then don't allow stinky people into it.
To be happy y... (read in full...)
I don't feel good enough for my boyfriend after his comments about these models and how he wanted to give me 'the boot'....
Q. Hello, I really hope someone can give me some advice with my problem..here goes..! I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years and it has been a great relationship. Before we got together he had a reputation of being a flirt, e...
A. 18 May 2012: This is a dumpable offense. Your boyfriend has proven himself to be shallow, boorish and disloyal. You're right to be doubtful of a future with him because he doesn't have your back.
This is not a reflection of you, but of him and the calibre ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was ill on my birthday and I didnt get to see him, should I be mad at him for this?
Q. Do you think i should be mad at my boyfriend for this ?. He has been ill with flu for a few days, and it was my birthday yesterday, but he didn't meet up with me. I was supposed to go round to his house for a few hours. I wanted to go out somewhere ...
A. 18 May 2012: No, you should absolutely not discuss this with your boyfriend. There is nothing to talk about here. He was very ill and was unable to see you, but he did care enough to send you a warm birthday greeting with his apologies. To complain, even nicely, ... (read in full...)
He's going on the cruise we planned to go on together without me! Am I wrong to be upset with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. A few months into our relationship his sister invited him on a cruise because his nephew couldn't go at the last minute. At the same time he got laid off from his job so the getaway was good for ...
A. 17 May 2012: Aunty Em's right.
This guy is showing you the sort of person he is. It seems he's managed to weasle a free vacation not once, not twice but three times.
And you're never included in his big plans. Perhaps you gone with them, paid your own wa... (read in full...)
How can I marry my fiance when he constantly ogles other women?
Q. How can I marry my fiance when he constantly ogles other women? he swears I am ALL he wants and needs...I do not feel that way because despite all his promises to stop this disrespectful act it continues... time after time!!!!...
A. 15 May 2012: It's normal to notice an attractive member of the opposite sex, and maybe even sneak an extended peek now and then, but if he's looking to the point of being obvious, even after you've brought it to his attention, then I'd say this is a problem.
... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong here?
Q. Hi there I need to know whether I am in the wrong here?? I was seeing a guy last november and it probably lasted a few months, until he was offered a job abroad (new zealand) on a contract for a year and a half. We had been friends before for a ...
A. 15 May 2012: You did nothing wrong. His behaviour was atrocious and he's unworthy of a second chance. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is spending his inheritance money and hasn't even bought me a bouquet of flowers!
Q. Ok so my bf and I have dated 2years in which was long distance. Recently he moved in with me. Hes 18 I'm 17. He's originally from were I live. When he was 1 his mom left his dad and moved 4 hours away. So his dad lives here. He's been living with me ...
A. 15 May 2012: A father has a greater impact on a child than does a girlfriend, especially one who was, until recently, long distance. Your boyfriend is trying to buy his father's affection the only way he can. Deep down he already knows this but he's too hungry ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a toxic mother?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I am in a situation, which I'm unsure how to deal with and wondered if anybody who has any experience of this, could offer any advice? It's very complicated and the details go back years, but I'll try to keep it to th...
A. 14 May 2012: You're very, very welcome. I hope it helps.
Best of luck and thank you for the feedback.... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. Rather than continuously wishing and hoping to at least be average, even with working out, eating healthy, makeup and hair straightening, I want to finally just accept that I am ugly. The hope and trying keeps me from accepting it, because in t...
A. 14 May 2012: Obviously having never seen you I can neither agree nor disagree with your assessment of yourself as 'ugly' so I will simply answer your question as best I can. The way to accept it is to find the benefits in it. Here are a few: You're not alon... (read in full...)
Should I wait until we've been dating a year to ask my boyfriend where our relationship is going?
Q. My question is to the point... Do you think I should wait a long time before asking my boyfriend if he can see being with me in the future until we've been together at least a year? Or do you think he would know the answer already since he says he ...
A. 14 May 2012: No, you don't wait a long time. How long have you been together so far? Knowing that would help us give you better advice.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has enough money to drink but never to do anything fun with me
Q. Right sooo, i want to make sure i get this across the right way, because before i start i need to say, i love my boyfriend with all my heart, he sensitive , he compliments me, he makes me feel loved ( most of the time) he is my best friend and i ...
A. 14 May 2012: Another example of hope triumphs over reality. Your boyfriend may not be the worst person in the world. He probably does have many fine qualities, but being a good boyfriend and an overall stand up guy are not among them. It's easy to be nice ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like I've done anything out of line to upset this girl, and is there anything I can do to ease the situation?
Q. Hello, There's this girl at my school who's been causing me some problems lately. I met her a couple of months ago through a friend who's in an fwb type situation with her best friend. Though we only met that one time and spoke for less than 5 ...
A. 14 May 2012: The only thing you did 'wrong' was not reciprocate her feelings. I think you've read the situation pretty well.
You don't fancy her. Nothing wrong with that. She and her friends are handling it very poorly. It might be more of a sting to her afte... (read in full...)
I need some outside perspective
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. In advance, I'd like you to know I don't want to be judged harshly for this post. I'm going through something personal and I literally have no idea what to do. I've weighed the pros and cons and I still don't know. Anyway, I've ...
A. 14 May 2012: I think you are being WAAAY too hard on yourself. There is no reason you should be judged harshly here.
My suggestion is to take each day as it comes instead of trying to plan out the rest of your life here and now. I don't mean hang about in... (read in full...)
Should I share this dark secret with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months, and have a great relationship. However, I feel like a fraud... he tells me that everything about me is beautiful, and I feel ugly and empty inside. He thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me, ...
A. 14 May 2012: I have to agree wholeheartedly with YouWish. If he's not exposed to any diseases and there are no children in the picture, then there is no reason to tell him.
I especially agree with this statement; 'You had sex twice with two strangers, somethin... (read in full...)
How do we get through this? he's in jail!
Q. My boyfriend was found guilty in court due to his part in the looting that took place during the London riots. He is beyond embarrassed and his family are very traditional and let him know in no uncertain terms that, as the oldest son, he has ...
A. 13 May 2012: The way you get through it is to continue living your life. You're not in jail. And presumably you have a job, bills to pay, a family of your own and friends. He's 'beyond embarrassed'. What about remorseful? Embarrassed is for and about himsel... (read in full...)
How often do you see or speak to your FWB?
Q. Hi thank you for reading this I am in a fwb arrangement I was just wondering how often you see or speak to your fwb as I only see mine once a month if that sometimes even though we live very close to each other I have asked him if he still wants to ...
A. 13 May 2012: I missed that bit about 'I do and I don't'.
That alone is sufficient reason to walk away. He likes having sex with you once in a while, when he can't find someone else, but that's it. He's not interested enough to want to get to know you.... (read in full...)
How often do you see or speak to your FWB?
Q. Hi thank you for reading this I am in a fwb arrangement I was just wondering how often you see or speak to your fwb as I only see mine once a month if that sometimes even though we live very close to each other I have asked him if he still wants to ...
A. 13 May 2012: There is really no set number of times or frequency. You do it when you're both together and in the mood. For some it will be once a month or once a week. It's really up to the parties involved. Knowing something is easily available tends to make us ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a toxic mother?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I am in a situation, which I'm unsure how to deal with and wondered if anybody who has any experience of this, could offer any advice? It's very complicated and the details go back years, but I'll try to keep it to th...
A. 8 May 2012: An open declaration of intent followed by a complete severing of all ties is a bit too drastic and confrontational. I recommend a more subtle approach. You could distance yourself gradually while remaining upbeat and cordial. Whenever your mo... (read in full...)
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