A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my bf 2 days ago. As it was already evening we decided to go to a supermarket and go back home. I bought some chocolates and he just picked some $1 battery so I paid them with my things.While we were leaving he started his bike and as I was going to ride on the back but he moved off(not hurting me). I knew he was kidding. Then he laughed. He usually does things even though I told him not to do that. But I don't know what happened to me at that time I shouted at him saying does he he want to hurt me? I noticed people were watching us I felt a bit shame for shouting at him i the public. When I reached home he just said keep that battery yourself or exchange if you don't want. Then he left even not giving a chance to reply him. At the same night I called him but he barely talked. I said sorry for being rude but he said I shouted at him because I had to pay for his battery too. I was shoced I never expected such answer from him. I started to cry and he hung up. Till now he hasn't call me and even I didn't. I had no problem to pay such a little amount for him but he misunderstood me. I had lent him £2000 for his college fee 2 yrs before which I told him he can keep that. But in a big fight I asked him to pay me back which he hasn't till now. Can it be the reason he misunnderstood me? What should I do? Well I am 24 and he is 29.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (5 August 2012):
 I agree completely with Ciar. Stupid stunts like what he did can give us a fright, and I certainly lose it when I'm shocked or scared (you should hear me when I have a near miss riding my bike).
I think you wounded his pride. He already owes you a significant sum of money (OK, borrowed it) and then you paid for a battery - yes, so what, it was only worth $1 but maybe he felt undermined. Not saying you did anything wrong, but it might explain things if not excuse them.
I think he's sulking. I don't think you should make it easier for him - let him sulk and in doing so give him time to think about your relationship. Maybe he can't handle a woman who has more money than him. Think about that and whether it's going to be an issue in the long term with this man. In my experience, men don't alwaysnfeel very comfortable with a woman who earns more or is better educated. It's a threat. I live in the UK and imagine that it's even more relevant in India as I think there is still more of a divide between the sexes. But of course I'm generalising ...
Anyway I think just leave it for now. Give him time to cool off and time for both of you to think about the relationship.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 He was probably embarrassed by the public reprimand because on some level he knew you were right. You should not have apologized. He did something that could have injured you, something he knew you didn't like. He didn't confront you at the time because you were confident in your anger and he knew he'd get nowhere.
Your apologies and continued attempts to reach him demonstrate a lack of certainty which he is taking advantage of.
STOP telling him you're sorry. STOP trying to reach him. If he brings the matter up again, be calm and matter of fact. Remind him if he doesn't like being told off then he should stop doing things that annoy others. Then leave it at that. Do NOT engage in a full blown discussion about this. The less you say the more powerful you seem.
Give him two weeks. If you don't hear from him by then, assume it's over. Return any property he's left with you and move on. No drama.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 August 2012):
If you excused him of the college fees debt, you shouldn’t then ask for it back in a fight. A gift is a gift, though perhaps in future you should be more cautious about letting people off paying back what they owe. Your problem is a communication issue. You don’t talk things through, instead you bring money up as a weapon against each other, whether it’s a large college fees loan or the price of a battery. You did the right thing apologising for overreacting, it’s down to him now to be sensible enough to see that sulking isn’t going to achieve anything and that you should talk through your concerns in a mature, adult way. Phone him once more, tell him that you should talk honestly with each other about the argument and how to resolve it, then wait and see what he does and don’t phone again. If he can’t do the right thing, it suggests that there are deep differences in how you deal with problems, and it’s questionable whether they could be reconciled.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, G_D +, writes (4 August 2012):
 well done ..
he is using you for completing his financial needs ..
don't be a silly little girl..
its too shameless for a guy to borrow money for his college fees from her gf .. but he doesn't feel any shame .. you must leave him !
just try one thing ..
whenever he'll find any other financier, he'll leave you !!
or if u stop being her follower al d time .. then u'll see that he started to being nice to u ..... wait for some time .. and try to completely ignore him ....
Note:- While doing this.. don't ever get emotional by his talks...
good luck :)
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