I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 19 July 2012: I would not have confessed to the clandenstine meetings because I think it will do more harm than good. However what's done is done.
There are different kinds of intimacy most of which can be satisfied by friends and family. If you had more of ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: I submitted my second answer before I saw your follow up.
His mother did not suggest you marry because she thinks it will be good for the two of you, but because she thinks it will be good for the two of THEM.
Her son, having already lost so ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: By the way, I didn't mean that as an endorsement of this secret fling. Just that it isn't for us to judge you and that I think you are a bit quick to judge yourself harshly.
I do recommend that you carefully evaluate some of your choices, includin... (read in full...)
I've been dating my friend for the past year but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends nor his family to know about it
Q. Dear Cupid I am been dating my friend for past 1 year, but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends to know. He hasn't introduced me to his friends or his family. Recently he asked me not to send any text messages, i usually don't send much ...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm with the others. There are only two reasons he would have for concealing your relationship.
1. He's seeing someone else
2. He's not seeing anyone else but wants to keep his options open
Like SVC, the fact that he doesn't want yuo eve... (read in full...)
I found photos of female co-workers butts on my boyfriends phone. He says I'm crazy but could he be screwing around?
Q. So my fiancé and I got engaged in June this year. We had a baby together late last year. We have trust issues. Him because o his very serious ex relationship, and me because he is naturally a flirt and used to be a player before his ex. He used to ...
A. 18 July 2012: I agree with all of the other aunts, except I wouldn't bother having a talk about what's appropriate. If you have to explain something as universally understood as this then you're with the wrong guy.
... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my disabled fiance who can never have sex after an accident but I feel so horrible!
Q. Hi, I have been browsing the internet for a solution to my problem but do not seem to be coming up with any. Where do I begin?. Here goes. My Fiance who I have been dating since I was 14 years old, now both in our mid to late 20s was involved...
A. 18 July 2012: If you insist on judging yourself when you fall short of your mark then must also balance it with credit where credit is due.
What you're doing, caring for someone who can't do anything for themselves is no small thing. You don't need me to tell ... (read in full...)
He constantly thinks I am cheating on him, this makes me feel insecure!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We have an amazing relationship except our insecurities. I think he truthfully feels I am cheating on him and I am not. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone and I thought the ...
A. 15 July 2012: You've received some very good advice here and I hope you take it. And like Janniepeg, I find this sort of thing exremely annoying.
Ask yourself this: What would your boyfriend do if he caught you in bed with another man? Would he say 'Yeah, I... (read in full...)
I would really like your opinions on this.
Q. This is not really a question, but just something I'd like people's thoughts on. So, lately I've been noticing on Facebook the emergence of a lot of those supposedly inspirational photos/quotes aimed at women about loving who you are, being ...
A. 13 July 2012: I agree that men are under increasing pressure to put more care into their appearance. With many women now able to support themselves and no longer forced to rely on a man for food and shelter, they don't have to settle for whomever who can pay the ... (read in full...)
Should I date this man? I'm afraid he'll compare me to his ex
Q. Hi everyone, thank you in advance for anyone taking the time to read my problem and giving me advice. I went on internet dating, I asked for men 40-50 but the sites sent email from me to everyone. A guy of 56 contacted me. I talked to him, ...
A. 12 July 2012: 'I do not have confident to go for a job' That is the most truthful statement you've made in your post and it's something many of us can actually relate to. Re-entering the work force and learning to make it on your own can seem overwhelming and ... (read in full...)
Should I date this man? I'm afraid he'll compare me to his ex
Q. Hi everyone, thank you in advance for anyone taking the time to read my problem and giving me advice. I went on internet dating, I asked for men 40-50 but the sites sent email from me to everyone. A guy of 56 contacted me. I talked to him, ...
A. 11 July 2012: 'I gave up my job to raise my son on my own, as my marriage broke up. I am a great believer of raising my child myself...'
In other words you gave up a paying job to collect welfare. Most of us are great believers in raising AND providin... (read in full...)
Is he Sweet or Creepy? One date and he objects to the online dating profile still online?
Q. I had one great date with a guy I met on an online dating site. He texts me everyday / a few times a day and asked me for a second date. We've been in contact now about a week and a half. However - one thing is troubling me! He saw me "online" ...
A. 11 July 2012: It sounds like he hasn't dated in a while either. At least not successfully. He's extremely insecure. Like I said, let him go.... (read in full...)
Is he Sweet or Creepy? One date and he objects to the online dating profile still online?
Q. I had one great date with a guy I met on an online dating site. He texts me everyday / a few times a day and asked me for a second date. We've been in contact now about a week and a half. However - one thing is troubling me! He saw me "online" ...
A. 11 July 2012: I'm with So Very Confused. He sounds very, very needy and desperate.
He believes you're getting hit on by many men and that he is one of many options for you while you are his only option. He's not trying to avoid the mess of dating more than one... (read in full...)
My friend cheated on her husband, should I tell him?
Q. I have a "friend" who has admitted to me that she has cheated on her husband before they got married last Sept. Though I do enjoy her company, I'm not close with her. I was rather shocked that she would tell me something like this because my fiancee ...
A. 7 July 2012: Stay out of it. Don't say anything to your fiance, her husband or anyone else. She did not tell you hoping you would spill the beans for her. She was confessing. Not to justify the cheating but you don't really know what her situation is nor... (read in full...)
Dating? not yet, though I am so proud I lost so much weight.. But how do I deal with insecurity re scars after surgery and dating, after weight loss?
Q. The last couple years was a life changing experience for me. I lost more than a hundred lbs of weight, leaving me with lots of hanging skin but only in the stomach and thigh area to the point that I couldn't wear a swim suit. It was a huge decis...
A. 7 July 2012: You do not sound shallow. You sound like someone who is enjoying and perhaps a bit cautious about something many people have had and took for granted all their lives.
What you describe sounds very normal for someone in your situation. You don't ne... (read in full...)
Dating? not yet, though I am so proud I lost so much weight.. But how do I deal with insecurity re scars after surgery and dating, after weight loss?
Q. The last couple years was a life changing experience for me. I lost more than a hundred lbs of weight, leaving me with lots of hanging skin but only in the stomach and thigh area to the point that I couldn't wear a swim suit. It was a huge decis...
A. 7 July 2012: There is no rush to date, but remember dating doesn't have to include sex.
Start slow. Build up your confidence gradually by going out on dates with different men. Real dates that is, to the cinema, the museum, out for lunch.
And I agree w... (read in full...)
Is rimming weird or fairly common?
Q. Hello fellow Cupid-ers, I have very much enjoyed reading your site, and contributing in my own small way. You all seem like wonderful open-minded people. So to ask a taboo question to as sympathetic an audience as I'm ever likely to get: ever ...
A. 7 July 2012: As Honeypie says it could indeed be a porn inspired fad. It's not unheard of yet not so out there as to be shocking, but then not much shocks me anyway.
It's not my cup of tea and as person1234 points out, it's taboo for a very good reason. ... (read in full...)
How broke is too broke in a relationship?
Q. I have asked twice before. I still didn't break up with my long distance boyfriend in spite of aunts and uncles telling me so. Some aunts told me his insecurity would cause problems. One uncle said this is a fantasy relationship. My mom told me t...
A. 7 July 2012: janniepeg, I wholeheartedly agree with the others. The fact that he's on not one, but two (or was it three?) dating sites is, as SVC said earlier, reason enough. A man who cannot afford to go out on real dates, yet advertises that he's ready t... (read in full...)
Is my husband just trying to be nice to get me to stop the alimony payments?
Q. im so confussed my husband of 20 years left me for a much younger girl. old enough to be his daughter. they are now living together and have been for 5 months since i threw him out. im still very much in love with him and would have him back. he ...
A. 7 July 2012: Your ex loves you, I believe, but is not IN love with you. He's infatuated with her which is why he chases her all over the place.
And though he's still in that puppy love phase with her, it is with you he shares a long history. If yuo have chi... (read in full...)
Fathers in the delivery room: who should have the final say?
Q. I had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend earlier about fathers in the delivery room. I'd like to find out what others make of the issue! My boyfriend said he'd rather not be in present, but if the mother wanted him there he'd compl...
A. 7 July 2012: I think a man should have the freedom to choose whether or not to attend. And by 'freedom' I also mean he should not punished for chosing not to, nor accused of not caring.
I also think a woman in labour should have final say on who is allowed ... (read in full...)
Why do I always have to compromise for what he wants, not what We want?
Q. Hi all. Yesterday me an my boyfriend we had a fight. My problem with him is that when he want something I have to be the one who has to compromise for everything. Yesterday he was off duty at work. He was at his place. I don't know what he was doing ...
A. 6 July 2012: 'has to'? You don't have to. You choose to. The difference between your boyfriend and you is he will sacrifice peace for the sake of what he wants and you will sacrifice what you want for the sake of peace. As long as you value peace at all c... (read in full...)
Is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else?
Q. Hi there. Okay, I've been texting this guy my friend is setting me up with, but the guy already has a girlfriend. I do really like him, and my question is is it ok to ask a guy out while he's still dating someone else. Their relationship is rocky ac...
A. 4 July 2012: Um...no it is not ok to ask a man, who already has a girlfriend, out. Whether their relationship is rocky or not is no one's business but their own. the fact that they're still together means they're trying to work it out.
Would you like it if so... (read in full...)
If I haven't had sex in years, would I be a virgin again?
Q. i have sex when im only in grade school.. but after that i never commit sex again, now im 22 years old.. did my virginity win back after so many years?...
A. 4 July 2012: No, you would not be a virgin again. ... (read in full...)
I just see red flags all over her!
Q. Okay, so about 10-11months ago my boyfriend dated this girl (let's call her Kate). And so after about 3 months of them dating, she decided to break up with him, because another love interest had come her way, and she wanted the other boy. My ...
A. 1 July 2012: I think your concerns about 'Kate' are valid. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't want to give you up (at this point) but clearly he has some feelings for her (or is at risk of developing them). He may not want a relationship with her, but there is a ... (read in full...)
My guy says he will be dating another girl ...
Q. One day my guy told me he doesn't want to hide anything from me so i should ask me anything. i then asked him what he has been hidding from me and he said a girl asked him to date her so now he's dating her even though he doesn't love her. He said ...
A. 30 June 2012: I second Honeypioe's answer.
Should you believe him? He's made it very clear to you that he is receptive to the attention of other women and has no special bond with you that would inspire him to be exclusive. He's also made plain the fact tha... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a vacation with his ex-wife, for their daughter's sake. Should I be upset?
Q. Recently, my boyfriend of about 9 months said that he and his ex-wife were planning to take their 5 year old daughter on vacation to Disneyworld. They've been divorced for a few years, and live about three hours apart, but share equal custody of the ...
A. 29 June 2012: I can understand your misgivings about this, and it was in poor taste and poor judgment for your boyfriend to relay his ex's negative remarks about you. It's possible that he misunderstood them and they weren't that bad after all. Sharing them with ... (read in full...)
Can money keep a cheating marriage together?
Q. When there's cheating in a marriage what can hold it together? If man is cheating but there's fancy cars, house and baby will that keep family happy? ...
A. 20 June 2012: Not happy but perhaps satisfied enough to maintain the status quo.
Beyond that, I agree with So Very Confused. ... (read in full...)
Why do his comments about my friend give me a pang of jealousy?
Q. Hi, not sure if i,m reading too much into my boyfriends comments and could do with other peoples opinions. We have been with each other for 2 years very happy and in love. He is always complimenting me and telling me he loves me. A few times now, in ...
A. 19 June 2012: I don't blame you for feeling put out. Your boyfriend has been quite rude to both you and your friend.
He's not paying her innocent compliments and he isn't joking about a threesome (he doesn't joke about having sex with another man does he?). He... (read in full...)
He's not contributing financially in our live-in relationship...what should I do?
Q. hi, so i have a question..., i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years in a few months. we started out great, so loving, caring, and anything i wanted to do i got, but now its not like that, he doesn't give me a kiss hello when i see him, we sit on ...
A. 18 June 2012: I'm sorry I couldn't offer you what you wanted, but hopefully it will give you the strength to do what you need to do so that you'll be happy.
Best of luck.... (read in full...)
I'm Chronically Unemployed My father delights putting me to shame in front of others.
Q. I feel so humilliated. I've been unemployed for years and live with parents. I have only one older sister who's been married for years and her kids are here almost everyday. With time I've developed multiple symptoms that have lead me to feel I ...
A. 18 June 2012: Where do I begin?
This has got to be the most narcissistic sounding submission I have ever read. It was so long and self centred it overwhelmed me.
You're not unemployed because you're ill and unhappy. It's the other way around. What you... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in thinking he's got too many ex's and too much baggage?
Q. I had a first date recently, it went pretty well. He did however have a few ex girlfriends still in his life. One a psycho stalker,his words not mine.Another who visits him for weekends sometimes.Plus one or two others He asked for a 2nd date, ...
A. 18 June 2012: Of course he wants you to think you're over reacting. If you believe him, you'll stay and become another thread in his security blanket. That he would mention these other women, let alone refer to one of them as a 'psycho stalker' on a first date ... (read in full...)
He's not contributing financially in our live-in relationship...what should I do?
Q. hi, so i have a question..., i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years in a few months. we started out great, so loving, caring, and anything i wanted to do i got, but now its not like that, he doesn't give me a kiss hello when i see him, we sit on ...
A. 18 June 2012: I am so turned off by his behaviour that I cannot imagine wanting any kind of intimacy with him. So I can't offer any suggestions on how to win him back. He's just too repulsive.
If he's like this now he will be the same five years from now, onl... (read in full...)
I can't understand why my family has started to treat me with disrespect!
Q. I am a wife and mother of four young adults. Recently I can't help noticing the total disrespect with which my children and even husband speak to me at times. I don't feel im a doormat by any means nor am I a harsh person. I simply can't understa...
A. 14 June 2012: There is very little information for us to go on here. When did this shift occur? You got on very well with everyone before this? Was anything else happening at the time (however unrelated it might appear)?
Have you changed at all? Is there so... (read in full...)
Should I ask for my wife's password to her phone?
Q. My wife just informed me that she put a password lock on her smart phone, so that the kids cannot access her phone. I did not ask for the password. This is something we have never done before. I don't regularly read her texts and things. To be ...
A. 12 June 2012: I don't think you should ask for the password. That will only create an atmosphere of mistrust.
Keep a lazy, but discreet eye on the situation. If your wife doesn't give you any other reason to questions her, then lave it alone.
I used to hav... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 6 June 2012: Trafficked...I was thinking the same thing myself and if so her handlers won't let her go so easily.
I have to agree that I think you've created a relationship where there isn't one. It's just business and you're a means to an end. I really d... (read in full...)
How can I confront the situation I think he's trying to get back in my life?
Q. It was my birthday on the 4th and I had fun went to the bar with my sister in-law. The problem is now I think my ex who disappeared 10 months ago is all of a sudden popping up on msn which he never did the entire time he was gone. I seen him...
A. 6 June 2012: It's not closure you need. It's acceptance. Accept the fact that whatever happened, happened, you're still alive and hopefully have learned something from it and are stronger today.
There is nothing to confront either one of them about and no p... (read in full...)
The only way I see us being together is if she quits her job as a prostitute!
Q. I met a prostitute 2 months ago, when I went to see one - I knew I was taking a risk. Now, I am not so sure, she is a wonderful girl, she's Hungarian, but 2 other girls work from the same flat as she does, and the one that speaks the best Eng...
A. 6 June 2012: I don't like the smell of this at all. So I would steer clear of her and anyone connected to her.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 15 years will not divorce his wife!
Q. Hi, I have been with my live in boyfriend for 15 years. He has given me 2 engagement rings, (not diamonds) but when I told someone we were engaged, he got very angry. I drive him to and from work, as he works in a bar. He lost his license for 3 ye...
A. 6 June 2012: STOP DOING THINGS FOR HIM!
Why on Earth would you allow it to get to this point? Give him back the engagement rings.
Is his name on the deed of the house? If not, kick him out. He can stay with his wife.
Do things that YOU enjoy, that giv... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't treat me well. Do I need to end things?
Q. Hello Iam 33 recently met a man 34years old who was very interested in me he told me interesting things about his past about his thug life and that he has slept with many women even there was a time he had 6 girlfriends all to be used for...
A. 6 June 2012: Dump him.
He may very well change when he finds the right woman, but clearly that woman isn't you.
You can do so much better.... (read in full...)
Why do women seem to use alcohol as an excuse for random hookups?
Q. Women, Alcohol, and Sex Question. Thank you in advance for your responses. My wife has had sex with 60 men or so since before meeting me. Most of these were with guys she met out at a bar went home had sex or maybe actually set up on a date or two...
A. 5 June 2012: First of all, it doesn't sound, to me, as though your wife is BLAMING alcohol so much as she was acknowledging that if SHE hadn't been drinking she wouldn't have slept with as many men.
To answer your question though, as it may apply to others, ... (read in full...)
All my boyfriend seems to want is sex
Q. I've ended my unhappy marriage of 20 years. Then I met this man 19 years older than me. He gives me all the attention I've craved for years. We live in separate houses. He's helpful in my house. But he always wants sex when I'm with him. Even if ...
A. 5 June 2012: You don't need us to tell you what to do. It sounds like you have things well in hand.
You've brought the issue to his attention and nothing has changed so you must resolve it yourself. If that means ditching him so be it. Hopefully he'll le... (read in full...)
I don't want a FWB relationship with the father of my 2 children. How do I make him understand?
Q. Is it worth trying again. I split up with the father of my 2 children several months ago. He left as I asked him to. There were commitment issues. He didn't.want to be tied down by us. Our relationship had become.stale and we were rarely intimate. ...
A. 1 June 2012: Why is it so important to you that he understand how you feel? As long as YOU care and set limits for what you will and won't do, what difference does it make what someone else thinks about it?
He won't take your refusal as a final answer as long ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how would you react if your boyfriend was complimenting another girl in your presence?
Q. Ladies, how would you react if your boyfriend was complimenting another girl in your presence? In my case, the girl was not a close friend of his but rather someone he knew, like an acquaintance. I didn't know her at all and he told her that she ...
A. 1 June 2012: You can feel whatever you like, but I think you're over reacting. He paid the woman a compliment and left it at that. He did not pursue her, or make excuses to continue talking to her. If he had you'd have mentioned it in your post.
I don't se... (read in full...)
I don't want to know about a girl's sexual past. Why do women find that shallow?
Q. Why do women find my rule shallow? I have this rule when dating that I absolutely DO NOT want to know anything about a girls past sexually. I have this rule because I'm a virgin and I already know that everyone else has a past and to refrain from ...
A. 1 June 2012: As I've understood your post you're not judging women for having a past. You've just decided you don't want to hear about it. I think that's reasonable enough.
This isn't a woman thing. Men are known to blather on about their sexual historie... (read in full...)
Husband acts bizarre when we fight. If he got help, could he change?
Q. Hello, I don’t usually ask for advice to bear with me if I provide too much or irrelevant detail. I am Christian woman married to a (moderately) Muslim man. We dated about 1.5 years before getting married. I was hesitant about marrying him beca...
A. 1 June 2012: The first thing that comes to mind is 'Thank God, you're living in the USA and not whereever he's from'. If you were I think your predicament would be so much worse.
Licking your face is certainly odd, but the rest of it is just plain domineer... (read in full...)
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