My friend is in love with my boyfriend, but she doesn't know we're dating
Q. I have being dating my coworker for 3 months. we've told no one in order to avoid possible problems related to office romance etc. Everything works out fine, except that my best work mate is in love with my boyfriend. She'll always ask him to hang ...
A. 31 August 2012: Then losing her friendship is the risk you will have to take. From what you've described in your follow up, it might be more of a blessing than a curse. I understand the temptation to avoid the headache and keep this to yourself, but you would be... (read in full...)
I won't give him up but my family doesn't like my guy
Q. Hi all. First of all, I'm a European girl who is still 16 but knows what she really wants. For 3 weeks, I've been dating a guy which is black. I'm extremely in love with him. We love eachother so much. We're so made for eachother but my family WON'T ...
A. 31 August 2012: Madly in love after only 3 weeks is typical teenage behaviour, which thankfully passes with age for most of us. A fact your parents are well aware of.
He is 6 years older than you are. He can vote, drink, lease a car, an apartment, get a credit c... (read in full...)
Your opinions on the state of virginity in teenagers today.
Q. This question is not really a screaming for help, but most likely is just for own purpose, I just want to know other opinions. Since my 'career' in dating started, I woke up and realized that girls, lost their virgins younger than ever. I mean, from ...
A. 31 August 2012: This is not a war, but an exchange of ideas, which is what you were looking for.
I understand you are not targeting girls. I do not feel targeted, nor am I targeting you. Disagreeing with you, yes, but not targeting.
Your solution to a co... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my title from Mrs to Ms. Should I, and how do I do it?
Q. My husband is very keen and really wants me to change my title from Mrs. to Ms. He says it is much more sexy. What do others think about this, as I am fairly OK with it, but not totally sure. How would I go about effecting this change? ...
A. 31 August 2012: Besides, you can always change it back or to something else if you want. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my title from Mrs to Ms. Should I, and how do I do it?
Q. My husband is very keen and really wants me to change my title from Mrs. to Ms. He says it is much more sexy. What do others think about this, as I am fairly OK with it, but not totally sure. How would I go about effecting this change? ...
A. 31 August 2012: I don't know what you need input for. You're doing something you want to do. Something that is harmless and has zero impact on anyone else. You're not being coerced and the process seems pretty painless and straightforward to me.
I don't see a pr... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: Assuming you were responding to me, person12345, my point was not that women should change their perspectives so as to enable men to indulge their darker, more animalistic natures, but to empower themselves so they can deal with it more effectively ... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: By the way, is there a reason you're posting anonymously?... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: If women already know how damaging porn can be then they certainly haven't been injured by anything I've said. They're not timid titmice, but adults who can or should be able to handle the truth.
And I felt compelled to remind some women that man... (read in full...)
Your opinions on the state of virginity in teenagers today.
Q. This question is not really a screaming for help, but most likely is just for own purpose, I just want to know other opinions. Since my 'career' in dating started, I woke up and realized that girls, lost their virgins younger than ever. I mean, from ...
A. 31 August 2012: My intent there was not to be facetious but to use humour to illustrate my point.
Your recommendation, as I've understood it, is for society to accept that men are men and place all of the burden for maintaining social decorum on the woman. ... (read in full...)
Your opinions on the state of virginity in teenagers today.
Q. This question is not really a screaming for help, but most likely is just for own purpose, I just want to know other opinions. Since my 'career' in dating started, I woke up and realized that girls, lost their virgins younger than ever. I mean, from ...
A. 31 August 2012: The Taliban and others of their ilk tend to agree with you which is why the women in their neck of the woods aren't allowed to leave their homes unless they're concealed in a blanket and escorted by a male relative.
Flirting with a boy, sometime... (read in full...)
Who can I talk to about getting cosmetic surgery?
Q. Who can I talk to about getting cosmetic surgery? I don't want to talk to a surgeon because they'll only tell me facts about what I want to get done. When I look at forums specifically for this, all the people there are always like "go for it" and ...
A. 31 August 2012: Have you actually spoken to a surgeon or do you just assume you know what they're going to say? I've seen a few medical professionals over the years about various things and most of them offer more than just cold, hard, surgical facts.
Few w... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: It might help you to know that when your boyfriend (or any man) fantasizes about the women in porn or nudie magazines he isn't picturing himself passionately entwined with them. He isn't imagining candle lit dinners for two or long walks on the ... (read in full...)
My guy friend hasn't been responding to my text messages
Q. My best friend (who is a guy) lives in a diffrent city than I do. We used to text and Skype regularly for hours at a time. But now he's not texting back and he's ignoring my Skype calls. The other day he texted me back, saying "sorry can't ta...
A. 31 August 2012: What exactly 'feels fishy' about it? That he has a girlfriend or that he hints at having 3?
... (read in full...)
My friend is in love with my boyfriend, but she doesn't know we're dating
Q. I have being dating my coworker for 3 months. we've told no one in order to avoid possible problems related to office romance etc. Everything works out fine, except that my best work mate is in love with my boyfriend. She'll always ask him to hang ...
A. 31 August 2012: The whole point of concealing your relationship is to avoid problems, but it's starting to cause more than it's avoiding. Maybe in the beginning when you were only just starting to date, but not now.
If you two broke up now it would still be... (read in full...)
I told him I'd give him time to sort things out, but how much time do I give him?
Q. I've know this guy for about a year and a half. I've always had a crush on him and kinda felt a vibe from his as well. But he had a gf so other than talking, we never did anything more. He is no longer with this girlfriend anymore and we finally ...
A. 30 August 2012: No one, man or woman, can tell you how long it will take for him to sort himself out. Not even a rough idea. It could be one month. It could be six. It could be a year or two or five. And even then there is no guarantee that either of you will want ... (read in full...)
B/f and I have been into swinging and I HATE it!
Q. About 4 - 5 years ago, me and my boyfriend of 6 years decided to finally try swinging after playing around with the idea for a while. I was scared out of my mind that I was actually going to go through with it, but chalked it up to newbie nerves. ...
A. 30 August 2012: Set aside some quiet time, breath, stretch and relax. Then look at this objectively. What benefits does your boyfriend offer you that you cannot get on your own, with someone else, or do without? Is there anything about him that is so wo... (read in full...)
My mother has done this and I don't think I want to talk to her moving on... am I in the wrong?
Q. I have always had a good relationship with my parents, even though they are seperated. My dad lives in a huge country house with his new wife and my mum did very well in the divorce and got a very nice peoperty in an affluent area and some cash. My ...
A. 30 August 2012: How many times are you going to ask this question before you're satisfied with the answers? I believe this is your third post on this topic. ... (read in full...)
Had a great date last night but now this... shall I just forget it?
Q. So i went on a date last night with a lovely girl. We met on a dating site and i went to pick her up and met her parents so they knew i wasn't going to kill her and dump her body in a ditch somewhere. She was telling me that she had some pretty ...
A. 30 August 2012: I have to agree with SVC and the anonymous male reader. You've only had one date. It is WAY too soon for either one of you to be sure. And it is entirely appropriate for both of you to continue to go out on dates with others until such time as you ... (read in full...)
Is it fair of him to ask me to find another home for my cat??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months, I'm 25 he's 27. Things have moved pretty quickly, but we are very happy and talk about the future openingly, and we are definitely in love. We currently live separately, but have talking about getting ...
A. 30 August 2012: When I first responded I thought I was going to be lambasted by others for suggesting you make your cat a priority. I am so glad there are so many out there of like mind.
Not only is your cat a member of your family and reliant upon you for food... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have a problem with me spending time with my friends?
Q. My boyfriend is giving me attitude because for the past 3 weekends, I've spent at least one day out with my (female) friends instead of him. I don't know what his problem is. Usually we spend a lot of time together but lately I've been enjoying ti...
A. 30 August 2012: '...then we broke up and I had no one...' Then what happened? You got back together. Maybe if you'd had your own friends and your own support system you would not have gotten back together. That might be his source of security (and therefore power) ... (read in full...)
I need someone's help, what should I do? My girlfriend is watching lesbian porn. It bothers me, should I talk to her?
Q. I just found out that my gf is watching lesbian porn...when I'm not home idk its kinda bother me what should I do..we have been togetherfor a year and half and we have sex at least 4 time a week should I talk to her about it ...
A. 30 August 2012: What exactly is it that bothers you about it? You haven't given us much to go on.... (read in full...)
Is it fair of him to ask me to find another home for my cat??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months, I'm 25 he's 27. Things have moved pretty quickly, but we are very happy and talk about the future openingly, and we are definitely in love. We currently live separately, but have talking about getting ...
A. 29 August 2012: Keep the cat. He/she is part of your family and relies on you. Your boyfriend can take care of himself.
... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I cheated on my Gf last night and never felt guilty about it. Is it something within me?
Q. I really don't know what's wrong with me and i hate what i am doing. I am 27 and i have always been a ladies man, to say. I don't know what my problem is. I have always enjoyed going out and meeting girls in bars and having fun. I am a good ...
A. 29 August 2012: I agree. There is nothing wrong with preferring the excitement of meeting and dating new people. As long as you're up front about it and treat others the way you want them to treat you.
You don't have to settle down, marry and have children... (read in full...)
How do I prevent myself from being used in class?
Q. From elementary to high school, I was always a "nerd" so girls I thought were friends with me because they thought I was cool/nice/etc, actually used me by copying my homework/cheating off me....This is why I didn't make too many friends, because I ...
A. 29 August 2012: Be more sparing and sporadic with your help. Texts and phone calls are easy to deal with. Turn off your phone or ignore it (easier to do if you don't carry it around with you). Act as though you never got them and only assist others when you ... (read in full...)
I love him so much. I don't want to play mind games, what does all this mean?
Q. Ok I need help my befriend walked out 2 weeka ago due to stress etc, only now we have started talking anyway he came over to see our kids and stayed a while like he usually does. He was complaining of neck pain so I massaged it for him with oil he ...
A. 29 August 2012: You say you want all or nothing, yet you give all and get a fat nothing in return. Make a decision and stick to it.
You should not have massaged his neck when he came to visit the kids. That sort of treatment is reserved for husbands or boyfrien... (read in full...)
How do I convince my brother to give up on being a lawyer?
Q. My brother wants to be a lawyer I doubt that he can become a lawyer because he did so poorly in highschool. No one in the family has ever become a lawyer or doctor so why does he even try He signed up for community college. He study's all da...
A. 29 August 2012: I echo HughJ's sentiments. Assuming this post is legitimate then what you're doing to your brother is dreadful and despicable. You aren't protecting him from hurt and disappointment. You're trying to set him up for it.
What would you think of... (read in full...)
I destroyed his trust and now he is very jealous and controlling.
Q. hey so i am in a very promising relationship with my boyfriend we have know each other for 10 years and are very smitten and in love , but sometimes he gets really jelous if other boys like me or even talk to me he has rules like i cant wear short ...
A. 29 August 2012: You are wrong about so many things here. This relationship isn't nearly as promising as you think. Not if it continues the way it's been. Your boyfriend doesn't impose rules because you have 'betrayed' his trust. You haven't even 'betrayed' his ... (read in full...)
Did his one sentence reply mean leave me alone?
Q. Hello basically i'm 21 now finished uni. Before, i was certain that my lecturer was trying it on with me more so towards the end. He has always been like my shining white knight, helped me a lot. I emailed him few days ago first time we have spo...
A. 28 August 2012: I agree with eyeswideopen.
He thinks of your fondly, but doesn't want to encourage you to be as close as you once were. You're older now and it's time for you to move on. ... (read in full...)
Husband thinks swinging can save our marriage
Q. I split up from my husband about three years ago, as he was cold, disinterested in me or our son, and refused to give me any housekeeping. I started a very romantic affair with a guy, got myself a rented house where my son and I were happy. My new ...
A. 28 August 2012: I believe that your husband is no longer romantically in love with you and hasn't been for years. He doesn't want to be alone but he hasn't found anyone else. Maybe he isn't looking but it isn't out of any loyalty to you. He just doesn't want the ... (read in full...)
Can a cheating guy mend his ways and change?
Q. Hi. I'm really confused and need help. I'm in a long distance relationship for 3 years. It was really tough to work it out and I was sick of his philandeerin ways and mistreatment. He used to treat me REALLY GOOD when together but back to his ways ...
A. 28 August 2012: What difference would it make whether he loved you or not? Would it make a life of endless philandering worth while?
Let's say he was violent instead of a womanizer and he'd knocked your teeth out during an argument. Would his love for you save... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my title from Mrs to Ms. Should I, and how do I do it?
Q. My husband is very keen and really wants me to change my title from Mrs. to Ms. He says it is much more sexy. What do others think about this, as I am fairly OK with it, but not totally sure. How would I go about effecting this change? ...
A. 28 August 2012: As long as it is something YOU want then you simply start using it. It's not an official/legal title so you don't have to apply for anything or file any paperwork.
I like 'Ms.' as well as it sounds a bit more mature, sophisticated and worldly ... (read in full...)
My ex told his sister that he would date me. How do I get it across that there's no chance for us again?
Q. So here it goes.. My ex and I have not spoken much at all since I broke up with him last December. We had a roller coaster relationship, on again off again for almost 2 years. He was my first boyfriend. I did everything for him, I was the only ...
A. 28 August 2012: You needn't say anything. In fact saying something may do more harm. Talking is negotiating (regardless of what you're saying) and as long as there is an open dialogue your ex will assume he has a chance and press harder. It may also give his mother ... (read in full...)
Am I the best my older b/f can get? He makes me feel really bad!
Q. Help! I can't figure out what to do. I'm a beautiful, fit, extremely intelligent young woman with a great sense of humor and acceptance. I get along great with almost anyone. Most men I meet develop crushes on me, and a lot of women at work ar...
A. 28 August 2012: The fact that he's 'been all but cut off by his family' is quite significant actually. Something you ought to pay closer attention to.
Your friends and family see things in your boyfriend that you have chosen to ignore because you're having t... (read in full...)
He's engaged, his fiancé is pregnant, but WE have feelings for each other. What should I do?
Q. I have a friend who is engaged to be married but is very unhappy in his relationship. We have recently discovered that we have strong feelings for eachother. The issue is his fiancee is 5 months pregnant (unplanned). We would never act on those ...
A. 27 August 2012: Move on. If you're both still inclined to pursue something if and when he and his fiance part ways then by all means see where it goes. Never wait on anyone. ... (read in full...)
My mom says boyfriend is using me and I'm too good for him. Is she right?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now. Like most couples, we have been up and down. But our main issues are his laziness, selfishness, the fact I have to prompt him to do/help me out in life and the way he deals with ...
A. 27 August 2012: Look, please just stop it with the 'deep down he is a great kind person' and 'besides that, he's perfect'. For Pete's sake. Please! I get fed up listening to women who put up with everything a bozo could throw at them and they still feel compelled ... (read in full...)
"This song is not about you" ?!
Q. Ive been dating this guy for about three years last night he turned on some music. He was particulalry playing songs from a personal play list. After hearing several songs. he search for a particular one and before the song came on he said, now ...
A. 27 August 2012: By all means keep it 'lite' and go out on dates with other men. If he complains, cheerfully tell him you're focusing on yourself right now.
I like Mystique's response. A very calm recommendations that he go and find the one about whom that son... (read in full...)
I cheated on all of these men, why are they still calling me?
Q. I have had serveral men in my life once a point a time that I use to deal financely,sexually,mentally the whole nine yards.now these guys have saw each other but they don't know each other like that and the first guy caught me with the second guy ...
A. 26 August 2012: I lost sight of your questions with all my blathering.
What do these men see in you and why do they come back for more? A bitter woman who is naive enough to believe she has the power and is punishing them by using them for sex. They keep coming b... (read in full...)
I cheated on all of these men, why are they still calling me?
Q. I have had serveral men in my life once a point a time that I use to deal financely,sexually,mentally the whole nine yards.now these guys have saw each other but they don't know each other like that and the first guy caught me with the second guy ...
A. 26 August 2012: I understand you resent being perceived as an easy lay, but you did ask for our opinions. Without trying to be judgmental your screen name and your 'proud' history of dealing with men 'financially, sexually and mentally' does leave one with certain ... (read in full...)
He performed oral on me and then we broke up. What happened?
Q. He kept telling me how much he wanted me in his life and wants to tell his children and siblings about me but only told siblings and they wasnt happy about it {or he's white and Im black} but he said he didnt care how they feel he cares about me. I ...
A. 26 August 2012: If you already firmly believe he bowed to pressure from his family then why are you asking us? That may have been a factor, assuming they even knew of you, but your use of oral sex as a litmus test for his sincerity helped make up his mind. He pro... (read in full...)
I've never met anyone so straightforward about their perviness!
Q. We're both 30 and newly started dating and I think he is perfect... for the most part anyway. He showed me a collection of photos of near-naked celebrities. It's so disturbing, it's making me insecure cuz he admitted that he's obsessed with nice ...
A. 26 August 2012: I second BondGirl's answer.... (read in full...)
How should or can I tell my husband I want to try swinging, without him doubting my assertion that I am satisfied with him sexually?
Q. Over the last few years my sex drive has increased and I've been a bit more wilder in the bedroom with my husband. We have done some role playing, taken a few photos, and a video. I know my husband dose not mind at all but there are some nights I...
A. 26 August 2012: Clearly you're not satisfied with what your husband gives you. To say otherwise would be dishonest and he's going to smell a rat. He may not be doing anything wrong, but what he is doing isn't enough or you wouldn't be looking for it elsewhere. ... (read in full...)
Does my long distance lover really love me or is she just playing around?
Q. I have a LDR and I love her, but Im not sure if she loves me as I do. She is cold, doesnt show emotions, doesnt say any sweet words, doesnt call me, sometimes txts and usually never asks about how my day was... However when we are together she is v...
A. 26 August 2012: The woman seems genuinely fond of you. To many Europeans Americans seem overly emotional, demonstrative and in need of constant external validation. What you see as 'cold' is quite normal to everyone else. Before you drop the love bomb,... (read in full...)
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