Why would a man be so stingy?
Q. I (25/F) and Art (30/M)recently broke up from a 1 year relationship. The problem: he barely paid for our dates, even after I told him it bothered me. He wants to get back together, but I'm unsure. Art is a smart, sensual, and charismatic man....
A. 10 January 2015: Spending wisely and saving money is good idea but not when it's done at the expense of another.
Art has shown that he is more inclined to make the effort to impress you when his position in your life is uncertain, so keep it that way.
Treat h... (read in full...)
Men in tights: what do girls think of them?
Q. Hi! I would like to know if women find it okay to see men in tights. I wear tights to my gym as I find them comfortable and they make me feel sexy too. I'm planning to get married soon and would like to know whether generally women find it okay for ...
A. 10 January 2015: If you're planning to get married soon it really shouldn't matter what other women find 'sexy', but to answer your question, the pictures I Googled of men in gym tights seemed acceptable. ... (read in full...)
I think I got rid of the man who was showing up everywhere I went
Q. Hi, this is more of an update than question. I posted about always bumping into a man that works in my area, even when I was staying at mom's over Christmas. Thank you to the people who gave me advise. I am back home now and had the week off wor...
A. 9 January 2015: I remember your original post and as much as I hate to disturb whatever peace you're enjoying, I would not lower my guard just yet.
Altering your behaviour is a good idea, but I am very concerned about you using back entrances. There is a chance y... (read in full...)
I won't be fooled again
Q. I have a problem Im not sure how bad it is. My boyfriend of about 9 months has been so wonderful to me. He compliments me all the time, he caters to me when we are together and he showers me with gifts. So what's the problem right? Well I ...
A. 6 January 2015: I did a search on this site, just typing in 'boyfriend texted his ex' and all these links came up. there are TEN PAGES of them. Suffice to say, we get A LOT of these questions.
Read a few before making a decision. I think the sheer number of them ... (read in full...)
Do I have a lot to learn or is he trying to take advantage of me?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we have been dating for under a year. This is the first time I have dated an older guy. We don't live together and we are only together a few nights out of the week after we both get off for work...
A. 6 January 2015: Where exactly did you meet this guy?
Boyfriends do not ask girlfriends to do all their cooking, cleaning and errand running while also being sexy all day, every day.
He sounds like a wannabe 'dom' you met on a D/s website, and/or there are... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend is cheating, how do I handle it?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months has been acting strange he used to reply to my messages within an hour at the most but usually straight away but now he keeps coming up with stupid reasons like his phone needs charging I can charge my phone and still reply ...
A. 4 January 2015: Send him an email with a link to his dating profile. Wish him the best in his search, then block and delete him. ... (read in full...)
Am I coping out if I leave him?
Q. Hi all, So I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and we live together. When I first knew him he was smoking but he quit because he knew I didn't like it. He said he always wanted to quit. So he hasn't smoked the whole time we have been togeth...
A. 4 January 2015: No, I don't think you're copping out. I don't see the big deal with a cigar once in a while (not around me but in general), but if this is a deal breaker for you then it is what it is.
If you don't see eye to eye on much else, then there really i... (read in full...)
Should I Have A Huge 21st Birthday?
Q. I'm turning 21 soon but I'd rather just go out for dinner with my friends than throw a massive house party or go out clubbing (I usually go out clubbing) Do most people have a huge 21st? I did a big 18th but obviously in this country I've bee...
A. 4 January 2015: So go out for dinner with your friends.
Most people do not have massive parties when they turn 16, 18, and 21, or any other age for that matter.... (read in full...)
I need your opinions so I can move on quickly.
Q. hello everyone, i'll try to make it short, but it may get longer ,so i apologise in advance. please do read till the end. the story goes like this: i met this girl 5 years ago in a social network. after 2 years, we became friends in facebook. i ...
A. 4 January 2015: I think unfriending her was the right thing to do.
Too much back and forth. It's best to just move forward without her. You don't have to be enemies, but don't pay her anymore attention. ... (read in full...)
Is my ex capable of being helped before we try to rekindling our relationship?
Q. Dear cupid,I wrote you the other day about rekindling a relationship with my ex but I truly change my mind there is no kind of change in this man he is truly history but he constantly calls me telling me he loves me but his still has his bad habits ...
A. 3 January 2015: Jut leave him be.
The man is old enough to know his behaviour is a problem and where to get help. If nothing has changed by now, it's unlikely it ever will.
Sticking around is just torture for you. ... (read in full...)
Would it be okay for me to ask my boyfriend which of his female friends he has slept with?
Q. My boyfriend still has a lot of female friends from high school. He is now 33. Some of them are ex gfs and others are girls he just hooked up with once or twice. They are all friends on FB and continue to see each others in groups or separately as ...
A. 3 January 2015: No. I think that would be a bit tacky and intrusive, but I can understand your position.
I would politely decline to meet up with his female friends on the grounds that they might be former lovers and leave it at that. Do not criticize these wo... (read in full...)
He asked me not to email or text while he's abroad, because his sisters might see?
Q. Hi all, please see the other question for brief background info as i was already feeling nervous about where i stood. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-im-with-him-i-feel-loved-i.html bf of three months, i love him , he doesn't love me ye...
A. 29 December 2014: He doesn't want his family to know about you, or to know that he's still dating you if they did.
That is either because, as Aunty BimBim suggests, that it's HIS marriage they're arranging or because they have someone else in mind for him when the... (read in full...)
I get my needs met online and my husband uses porn.
Q. I feel justified in getting feedback online from Men about my body to get my emotional needs met . I would never meet with one but it makes me feel desired loved and attractive My husband uses porn and says that there's no harm in it as he will ne...
A. 27 December 2014: He's using strangers on the internet to satisfy his hunger, so he shouldn't condemn you too harshly for doing the same thing, though he does have a point.
By watching porn he isn't interacting with the women who satisfy him, whereas you ARE inte... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex GF's dad she turned down my proposal?
Q. Hey guys, my gf and i broke up recently. Her parents are great and i really like them. Just before we broke up i sent Christmas cards for the two of them. ( they are separated) well her dad sent me a Christmas card back and he was asking me if i was ...
A. 27 December 2014: If you were thinking of contacting him out of the blue to inform him, then I'd say that was offside, but since the father has sent you a Christmas card and asked, then I see no harm in simply answering the question.
Be matter of fact and BRIEF, t... (read in full...)
What can I do about my nasty mother in law?
Q. Hi everyone. First, il wish everybody on here a very merry Christmas and I hope you all have a great day! Anyway, here's the deal, I am married for two years and been trying for a baby for almost a year, but we are certainly not panicking ...
A. 25 December 2014: For God's sake, please stop trying to reason with this woman. No more fertility doctor testimonials and explanations on the human reproductive system. The woman can't have lived all these years without learning a thing or two. She knows how it ... (read in full...)
Abusive manipulative ex bought me an xmas present. I' ve gone no contact but feel guilty for not saying thanks.
Q. Dear all. Happy Christmas!! Please advise. Thanks. I jave recently finally got out of a long horrid relationship with a guy My feelngs have almost gone, and I'm doing ok. Anyway, to get to this point I decided no contact was best, so changed ...
A. 25 December 2014: It's good to be polite, but not at all costs. Don't put yourself in harms way for a 'thank you'. You made your position clear to him long before now so he knew there was a good chance he still wouldn't hear from you. Besides, if he's as manipula... (read in full...)
My little sister is dating a much older man and lying about it, and I'm worried he's taking advantage of her! Do I tell our parents?
Q. Hi. My sister is 21 and yesterday told me she is in a relationship with a 40 year old man. This is her first ever relationship and they have been together 6 months. She says they are getting 'serious' however she has not and is not planning to tell ...
A. 22 December 2014: I agree with respecting an adult's right to make their own choices (and their own mistakes) but it's a bit difficult to argue that point when said adult is still relying on their parents for food and shelter. That said, I wouldn't rush out and tell ... (read in full...)
How can I get a new razor without having to ask my parents?
Q. Hey, this is a bit awkward! I'm in desperate need of some help. I'm a 15 year old guy, and I keep myself clean, grooming, etc. So, I shave. All places, and "down there" (if you catch my drift) is the problem. Well, not the shaving part, but the ra...
A. 22 December 2014: The chores around the house idea is a good one. Perhaps you could enlist the help of a trusted friend or relative?... (read in full...)
Should I email now that they have deactivated their social networking sites?
Q. Hi Well my situation is quite simple and i just wondered if anyone had any insight. Someone who has been a good friend over the last few years has deactivated their facebook account and has apparently changed their account on a mobile messag...
A. 22 December 2014: rather than asking to specifically keep in touch, I'd send them something more open ended and this is the perfect time of year to do it. Wish them a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Then leave it at that.
That way the person has your contact ... (read in full...)
He's neglecting me... Just want someone to talk to
Q. I'm 32 and my bf is 36. We've been together for over 5 years. We broke up for about 6 months due to him neglecting me. During our BU, he contacted me EVERY week, the entire 6 months.... EVERY week for 6 MONTHS! Now you'd think in that time he'd have ...
A. 21 December 2014: Your boyfriend just can't win here. You expect the man to check in with you every single day as if he were a parolee. Don't tell me you don't because you just told us how angry you were when you hadn't heard from him for two days. On top of that h... (read in full...)
The relationship is dead --- why doesn't he let me go?
Q. My relationship has been dead for the past year been with him for 2 years now ,problems began early on in our relationship due to his insecurities and I had some family problems so that pushed me away because he started drinking on a few occasions ...
A. 18 December 2014: I agree...what exactly are you expecting him to do? Are you renting? What's stopping you from turning in your notice if your name is on the lease, finding another place, then packing up your things and moving into it? Is he supposed to do all ... (read in full...)
21, pregnant and my boyfriend wants nothing to do with it
Q. I have just found out I'm pregnant to my boyfriend of 7 months, and I'm heartbroken that he has told me if I want this baby I will have to do it alone as he doesn't want children. I have been naive in terms of contraception, having been told...
A. 15 December 2014: A man who is old enough to engage in sex is certainly old enough to know where babies come from. And if said man is prepared to let his girlfriend prevent a pregnancy BY HERSELF, he certainly has no cause to complain when she decides, BY HERSELF, to ... (read in full...)
Would it be ok for me to have a casual arrangement with an abusive ex?
Q. Dear Cupid I have recently came out of an emotionally, verbally very very abusive relationship. He was the love of my life who started turning abusive for past 1 year and I became a typical doormat for him, lost all my self esteem, hated myself f...
A. 15 December 2014: Does it sounds like a good idea to you?
You say he was 'very, very' abusive, he's a master manipulator, you're still vulnerable, you still have feelings for him and you're an emotional person.
You really need to ask us if meeting him just... (read in full...)
She said she will always chose her kids father over me!
Q. I've known my girlfriend for about ten years in total, I've known her family longer than that. Four months ago we got back in contact for the first time in eight years and things went from friendship to more quite quickly because of the history we ...
A. 15 December 2014: First, it would be helpful if you broke down these long posts into smaller paragraphs. It would make it easier for us to refer back to specific points you've made when answering. Second, your OPINION is not LAW. Children need their fathers, a... (read in full...)
My husband had the following conversation with the woman he slept with behind my back. Please tell me what you think of it
Q. I'm writing this post because i found something which has concerned me a bit. I have been married for a little over a year and things have been going fine, at least, i thought so. Before we got married my husband slept with another woman be...
A. 15 December 2014: Maybe it's the mood I'm in, but my advice is to sweat him when the opportunity presents itself.
Say nothing just yet. I mean NOTHING. Do not give him any reason to even suspect you know about the message. Then the day/night he goes to meet her... (read in full...)
Should I report my daughter for child neglect?
Q. Dear cupid, I love my children with everything of me.They are grown now but my daughter she out living in her own apartment she's working im proud of her but she is dating this druggie she has a child with him and I really despise him he's a ...
A. 14 December 2014: Before you go that route, figure out what it is you want them to do.
I'm inclined to agree with the anonymous female below. I spent some time in the system myself when I was very young and found the 'trained professionals' were as useless ... (read in full...)
I love her but I deserve better
Q. So I was in relationship for 3 years, she broke up with me 3 weeks before 30th birthday. I didn't hear for her for weeks only to find out she had a new boyfriend, they even got married. It was a sham marriage but she still loved him. She married him ...
A. 14 December 2014: 'About a week ago she invited me out for a beer...' SHOULD have ended with 'but I declined and I never spoke to her again.
Whatever her intentions, she is wildly unstable, and I really, REALLY think you should put as much distance between ... (read in full...)
We both fancy one another but he went off with another girl
Q. I love this boy , and he likes me too but theres a girl who ask him out and he said yes to girl.But he always ,you know flirting with me and he mostly talk to me than he talk to the girl, he always touching me places like hes my boyfriend but I dont ...
A. 13 December 2014: It appears he likes the other girl a little more, but not by much considering how he's treating you both.
He's a player. Discard him like an empty gum wrapper. ... (read in full...)
I want out of this love triangle
Q. Hi, I was on here earlier this month regarding a love triangle between an online guy and my friend. The guy seemed to be stringing us both along but has now apparently settled for my friend - who isn't being completely honest about it all! I have...
A. 13 December 2014: Ok, thanks for the links. I hadn't even noticed that the link I provided was from a woman in the US. ... (read in full...)
He told me about his past to try to seem "more desirable"
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 weeks. He already tells me he thinks I am the one and that he is falling in love with me. He has a female co worker who he sits next to. However after a drunken work party he came to visit me, he was drunk andsta...
A. 13 December 2014: I'm with the anonymous female below. A few red flags. 1. The speed with which he 'thinks' you're the one and how quickly he claims to be falling for you is suspicious. And coming from him I suspect the subtext is 'If you play your cards right, I m... (read in full...)
I want out of this love triangle
Q. Hi, I was on here earlier this month regarding a love triangle between an online guy and my friend. The guy seemed to be stringing us both along but has now apparently settled for my friend - who isn't being completely honest about it all! I have...
A. 13 December 2014: Before I answer, is this you as well?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-he-just-playing-me-could-he-really.html
The stated ages are different but the scenarios are almost identical.
... (read in full...)
He constantly takesdigs at me.
Q. I met this guy at work who is a few years younger than me. At first i didn't particularly like him as a person as he seemed quite immature and arrogant but over time i warmed to him a bit. He has since left but gave me his number and we've been t...
A. 13 December 2014: I think your initial assessment of this guy was correct. Time to put some distance between yourself and him (without any announcements or confrontations - you don't need that at work).... (read in full...)
I just don't know what to do .............
Q. I have seeing my neighbour for about a month. We were getting on really well. It was my birthday and we went out for a meal. When we got back to his place I was trying to make love and he rejected me. We had sex before. He said he was depression. ...
A. 11 December 2014: And in these 5 days have you missed him?
That's your starting point. If you haven't missed him, you have your answer.
... (read in full...)
How to tell a friend he/she can't stay in your apartment?
Q. I have no idea how to tell my friend that she can’t stay with us this spring. And this is just a tip of the iceberg. Background: We’ve known each other for about 15 years. We have common interests and I love our talks. We have fun together. Our li...
A. 11 December 2014: I like Tisha's suggestion as well. Notice that she makes no mention of WHY 'Sadie' can't stay with you.
When you offer explanations, you invite dialogue. The more reasons you give her why she can't, the more reasons she'll counter with why she ... (read in full...)
She wants to be with me but feels guilty about dumping her boyfriend
Q. I started hanging out with this girl whom I knew had a boyfriend of 1.5 years. In our talks, I found out that he had been nice to her. However, had a tendency to look at other girls on the internet and that crushed this girl. She tells me that she ...
A. 11 December 2014: OP, we read of these scenarios soooooo often they're a cliché. The relationship that's all but over but they can't end it because they don't want to hurt the boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife.
The thing is, OP, she's not just hiding you from her... (read in full...)
Why is this man everywhere I go?
Q. Why is he everywhere i go! Honestly I called out a hand man in the summer he dragged the job out as long as possible. Now i seen to "bump into him on my street almost everyday sometimes even 2x. Like I know I can almost write it off as he has other ...
A. 11 December 2014: Depending on the threat level, I wouldn't confront him just yet. Instead I'd start gathering evidence. Keep a log of all your encounters; dates, times, locations, along with the names of those who were with you (witnesses). If there is a p... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 10 December 2014: Separate cheques...failing that I like deirdre's idea.... (read in full...)
Why are my siblings so envious of me I'm only trying to make it?
Q. Dear Cupid,today is the first day I finally step back in church.I want to get my life together and I know that it will be the best thing I ever did in my life.I'm changing my life in order to be a better person for me and my children but I have ...
A. 8 December 2014: Don't sever ties with them. They are your family after all, but limit your involvement with them to that which is most beneficial.
My mum has observed similar behaviour with her own kin. It's not they they think so low of her and want her to f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't back me up when someone attacked me verbally. Is he not right for me?
Q. My boyfriend and I flatted with another couple and a guy this year. We moved out of the flat a couple of weeks ago but I still have to finish collecting my stuff and do a clean. I have planned to do this in two weeks time. Our lease runs out in mid ...
A. 8 December 2014: Apparently, you're quite capable of speaking up for yourself when the need arises (as you should be since you're a grown woman). So I don't know why your boyfriend has come to charging in like a one man army whenever you get into a war of words, ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into a pic I found of my guy with a girl?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we spend as much time as possible together, we get along, have fun, cook together, chat and always kiss and cuddle, it's great. However, a few months ago I found him on various sexual websites, dating...
A. 6 December 2014: He couldn't cheat if he wanted to? He's BEEN cheating.
OP, he did it behind his previous girlfriend's back because he knew it was wrong. And even if, for some strange reason you could believe he didn't, don't you think he would have learned ... (read in full...)
Broke up yet.... Is sending him the Christmas gift a good idea, considering that we haven't spoken since the fight?
Q. I bought this guy that i was seeing a Christmas gift a few weeks before we got into a huge fight. Things were left badly where he blamed me for things that weren't my fault, and still blames me for something that i did almost a year ago. (i wrote...
A. 6 December 2014: No, it isn't a good idea. Whether he was right or wrong, he's made it very clear he wants nothing more to do with you, and the fact that he's made no effort to contact you since then tells me he means it.
Sending him a gift is not a kind gesture,... (read in full...)
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