Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I met this guy online and when i asked him if he lived in Singapore, he told me no, but he would be back four weeks later. I waited for a month and during that month, I spent my time talking to him. I am impressed and instantly know I love the ...
A. 22 May 2012: Am going to tell you the same as I told you back then, stop contact with this man, you can't see it but I can, he is using you, he talks to you every day to keep you sweet, but he has no intention off EVER coming to visit you, or let you visit him. ... (read in full...)
I think my night shift wages are inadequate
Q. Hey everyone, this isn't a relationship question, at all :s sorry, but I've gotten good advice on this site numerous times so I was wondering if I could ask peoples opinions on this please... I've recently started a new job doing an overnight shi...
A. 28 October 2011: Everyone is going to have different opinions on what they find acceptable. But you need to make up your own mind here if you are willing to work for this or not. It does seem very poor pay for the hours you are putting in, but yet my guess is that ... (read in full...)
Please help me figure out the female mind
Q. Why do girls act so strange? I have a huge crush on one of my co workers and I have been told by 2 of the girls we work with that she likes me too. We hang out all the time at work and even recently outside of work. I month ago I asked her out and ...
A. 28 October 2011: She has just recently came out of a relationship, so my guess is that she wants to remain single for a while until she gets over that, am pretty sure that you don't want to be the rebound guy either. She is probably just taking a break out from ... (read in full...)
My ex left me because I'm a wuss.
Q. So lately I have been thinking about my ex and how she left me. Basically it was a LDR and we always tried to make time to see each other every day. She's pretty much moved on but I still miss her a ton, and think about her everyday. At one point I ...
A. 28 October 2011: Crying in front of people that are closed to you should not be shameful what so ever. Actually some girls like that a guy can show his emotional side and is not to ashamed to be himself. You are who you are and you should never change it for ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get my ex back? I'm not willing to let go of something this powerful.
Q. Everyone I know tells me to just move on. Even if my future self went back in time to tell me that it's not worth it, I would still continue. I've always took pride in having no regrets, but I'm at the point when I realize that there are special ...
A. 28 October 2011: I could lie to you and tell you what you want to hear that there is some sort of miracle that will make him come back to you. But am hear to tell you the truth weather it is what you want to hear or not. The truth is he has moved on with his life ... (read in full...)
I'm lost. I hate arguing with my mom. What should I do?
Q. To start off with- I don't handle stress well. At all. I am full time college (wanting to take a year break) and full time work. I love my job, its easy, its full time, and its enjoyable. My parents force me to go to college. I want to move out...
A. 28 October 2011: I guess your mother made some bad choices when she was younger and now she is just trying to protect you. I know you feel like she is interfering and trying to control your love life, but my guess is she just does not want to see you get hurt. You ... (read in full...)
Is my crush from college gay? or bi?
Q. hey there all, and sorry if its long, I am 22 y.o. gay and yes from Cyprus. So you understand that being out of closet means shame for my family and no friends (that is why i am in the closet yet). Anyway, there is a guy at my college that i am...
A. 27 October 2011: If I am honest with you it sounds to me like he probably is straight and you are looking way to much in to it because you have feelings for him. Some straight guys are comfortable with who they are and therefore accept hugs from other male friends ... (read in full...)
Two guys. Which one? how can I tell the other guy that I cannot talk to him anymore without hurting him and myself?
Q. Okay so this may take a while. I am 18 years old and I have two guys who I have a lot of feelings for and at the moment I need to decide on one because I do not want to hurt them and date both at the same time. My first guy, (I will call him spri...
A. 27 October 2011: I don't think it is right to continue to see the two of them, because as you said yourself someone will end up getting hurt including yourself. Therefore I think it is time you asked yourself which one you want and let the other one down gently. ... (read in full...)
Is he giving signs that he likes me...?
Q. At work there's this guy who I've definitely started developing feelings for and a lot of other people seem to think he likes me too. Unfortunately there's a lot of red tape, he has a girlfriend and I have a long distance boyfriend. I'm n...
A. 27 October 2011: It sounds like he may like you, if it is more than a friend though am not sure. It seems like he enjoys hanging out with you at work and having a laugh with you, but when you ask him out outside of work he is against it, maybe this is because he is ... (read in full...)
What does he want?
Q. my ex and I broke up a week and a few days ago but I am already over it because I know it`s better and we are not meant for each other! so my other ex(let`s call him max) and I stayed good friends even during my last relationship. he seemed pretty ...
A. 27 October 2011: To me it does sound like he likes you. Sometimes guys ignore us to see if we will make the effort to talk to them. Maybe he was just testing you to see if you would make the effort to talk to him. If you still like him well then show him that. But ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to overcome this frustration and hostility about the commute so that we can really enjoy being together?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together (happily) for four years. We have occasional conflict, and we both have our quirks, but after so long together I generally feel like I know ways to effectively defuse my boyfriend's issues in the rare instances ...
A. 27 October 2011: My guess is that he felt pressured in to moving to the city by you as you were unwilling to move to the subarbs and now he is taking his frustration out on you because he has this big long drive to get through each day. Am guessing it is adding to ... (read in full...)
How do I approach her and what is the best way to ask her out?
Q. Hi..first of all i would like to thank you all in advance for your advice..I'm not very good at writing on these things so please bare with me.. So here is my dilemma : there is this really cute girl with whom i would like to go out with..i see ...
A. 27 October 2011: I understand why you would find it hard to approach her if she never smiles. It would make anybody nervous to approach her. But off course you should give yourself a chance and see how it goes. Try taking things slowly though, smile at her whenever ... (read in full...)
I do have the confidence to ask a girl out. But do you think I sound likable to girls?
Q. I am very nice, really cool, strong, tough, funny, loyal, really sweet, a caring guy. I do have the confidence enough to ask out a girl. I'm not trying to rush in these things, when ever I meet a pretty girl I just smile and be nice. When I h...
A. 27 October 2011: Am pretty sure there is nothing wrong with you what so ever. Every girl has a different type of guy that they are interested in and it is obvious that the ones you where attracted to didn't feel the same about you, that doesn't mean that there is ... (read in full...)
Nearly 25, rare culture, education, job, what do I do?
Q. Hi, I recently had my 24 y/o bday a few months ago (I’m female). I have been feeling a bit down off/on since (realization I’m nearly 25) and not anywhere I expected to be. I’m just now finishing an Associates. Due to cultural reasons, my fa...
A. 27 October 2011: Reach for your goals. Only you can make yourself happy therefore take control over your life and do what you want to do. I don't blame you for feeling depressed about still living at home when you are nearly 25. This is going to cause you to get ... (read in full...)
Since my friend got a boyfriend she has no time for me!
Q. This isn't really about a relationship to do with me, but it's my best friend. She's recently got a new boyfriend, they've been going out for about 2-3 months now, I've given up keeping track. We used to spend quite literally even minute of the day ...
A. 27 October 2011: No you are not over reacting, you feel left out and pushed to the side and off course this is going to hurt and upset you, plus it doesn't help that she is with someone who you have liked for a long time. But looking at it from her point of view she ... (read in full...)
Should I contact him or wait till he does ? was I wrong ?
Q. was i wrong, should i contact him or just wait ? so yesterday me and my boyfriend of 3 yrs. got in a arguement he was mad cause he came 2 visit his grandma and do some business but my boyfriend wanted me 2 take him home he lives an hour awa...
A. 27 October 2011: No I don't think you where in the wrong at all. At the end of the day it is not your car and if your dad needs the car well then he is in the right to take it. You where doing your boyfriend a favour by leaving him home even if it was earlier than ... (read in full...)
My best friend doesn't understand my problems and I feel like I hate him
Q. This is something that's been troubling me for so long, and it's kept me swinging back and forth from anger, resentment, guilt, and jealousy. I'm a 17 year old girl, in my last year of school, and my closest friend in school is a boy I'll call 'A...
A. 27 October 2011: You feel like he has got so much more than you as you have a lot of problems. But you need to see that he has problems as well, even though they seem minor to you and not as bad as yours they are still his problems and may just be as important to ... (read in full...)
He was cheating on me so we broke up, but then he contacted me again. Why?
Q. hi,i am 19 yrs girl.i was in a relationship to one guy.he is my senior in my college.i love him a lot.i was in a relation only for 1 month..i understood that he was cheating me.his friends told that.and i heard from his mouth that he was cheating ...
A. 27 October 2011: He cheated on you and if he wanted you back he would be the one making the effort now, but instead he is ignoring your calls. This tells me that he doesn't care about you, because if he did he would be doing everything in his power to be making up ... (read in full...)
First (proper) date. A kiss - yes or no?
Q. Essentially, I met a girl a few weeks ago who I took to straight away. We text every day - pretty much all day (with a few exceptions). We've also been out for a drink (just the two of us) and even though I wouldn't have classed it as a date, I ...
A. 27 October 2011: Well in my opinion she is interested in you, everything so far definitely sounds good. Yes it does sound like it is the first official date. I think you should go in for a kiss but keep it simple. It is always best in the first date to leave her ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my husband to leave me despite having a high risk pregnancy to go on holiday?
Q. i have been married for a few months. i am 34 weeks pregnant, with a history of heart disease, and classified high risk pregancy. my husband lobied for a paid for 2 months vacation out of the country with his employers and really excited about it. i ...
A. 27 October 2011: No you are not asking for to much. You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him you are worried about coping with everything on your own and all the stress you will have to put up with. Be honest with him because he is not a mind reader and probably ... (read in full...)
Tired of dreaming about my ex boyfriend.
Q. My boyfriend and I stopped seeing each other two weeks ago. We were seeing each other for several months. I will admit that it killed me, but in hindsight I have come to terms that our lifestyles weren't compatible and that this would have happened ...
A. 27 October 2011: To be perfectly honest it has only been two weeks so everything is still going to be very raw. The only cure is time. It sounds like you are coping very well compared to how some others would. Just give yourself time. Your dreams are your bodies way ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I met this guy online and when i asked him if he lived in Singapore, he told me no, but he would be back four weeks later. I waited for a month and during that month, I spent my time talking to him. I am impressed and instantly know I love the ...
A. 27 October 2011: I think your best bet is to move on. I personally don't think he has any intentions of moving to Singapore, it sounds to me like he is just leading you on. Plus he has no right to judge you about who you live with or what you do. He is trying to ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this, and still be friends with his brother, and not see my ex?
Q. Hello, I am really having a hard time getting over my ex. I met him thru his brother, aand now it feels like i have to cut his brother my friend off, because things are, well nothing is happening with us. I was doing ok with not communicating with ...
A. 27 October 2011: There is nothing wrong with you at all for wanting him back. Yes it would be wrong for you two to get together if he wants nothing to do with your child, but still you cannot help how you feel. I can't see him changing his mind any time soon. So my ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 27 October 2011: It sounds like he is taking things slowly and getting to know you slowly. If you keep contacting him and there is no reply you are going to push him away. Four dates is still way to early to be expecting anything from him or talking about anything ... (read in full...)
Is he worth obsessing over for two years??
Q. so..currently i am living abroad for a 1 year school internship, and yesterday i was talking to this guy who i have had a crush on for 2 years now, and he asked me an akward question. i had just posted a new photo of mine on f.b and he said he ...
A. 27 October 2011: Only he can answer that, I understand that you are shy so you don't want to ask him out, but if he has asked you out for a drink then take him up on his offer and see what happens. It sounds like he makes you laugh and it is obvious you like him so ... (read in full...)
Relationship has faded with my aunt, now it could happen with my cousin too! Help!
Q. I have a cousin who's coming up for 2 year's old ill call him Jim. Like any cousins me and Jim have a really close relotionship hes a lovely little boy and i love him to peices. His mum (my aunt) brings him and his older sister (...
A. 26 October 2011: I understand why you would be worried and concerned about your Auntie. But it was her choice to marry her husband, she obviously loves him and I guess you just need to accept her decision. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I will always feel like this! Does anyone have any advice?
Q. Hi Readers, I would really appreciate some advice please. I have a history of attracting the wrong type of man, despite the fact that I believe I have done a lot of work on myself to beat the Domestic Violence Cycle. I recently met a man at th...
A. 26 October 2011: Off course it is a scary thought, your family and your ex partner have left there mark on you by making you feel that nobody can be trusted and you have your gaurd up now because you are scared of history repeating itself. But you need to try and be ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and I'm eaten up by guilt!
Q. Im new to this "going to the internet for help" deal, But i am being tortured everyday and night and im in desperate need for help. :( So here's a little background info before i get into what i need to say. I dated a guy for 3 years ...
A. 26 October 2011: However hard it is to do I think you need to tell your boyfriend the truth about what happened. Be honest with him and tell him exactly how it happened. I know you don't want to do this but believe me it is for the best. Yes he may be hurt and angry ... (read in full...)
Did I drop too many hints that I liked her?
Q. Dear Cupid... First, I would like to say that I'm a really shy guy and have never gotten into a relationship before. I've met a sweet girl through facebook and we are both in the same fanclub of our favourtie singer...
A. 26 October 2011: My guess is that she liked you as a friend, but you may have came on a little to strong for her by turning up at her work. This may have made her take a step back because you may be talking to her a little to much. The only way to find out is to ask ... (read in full...)
Why did my friend act weird after making a funny joke?
Q. My friend was acting strange today. We were talking about this Halloween costume contest at my school and she was talking about how the winner got a free dinner from the principal. I said something like "Oh, he'd probably take them to McDonald's or ...
A. 26 October 2011: My guess is that she felt she had said something wrong in her note and took it a little to far. She may have been scared that the teacher saw it and showed it to the principal which would have embarrassed her. I wouldn't read to much in to her ... (read in full...)
Relationship has faded with my aunt, now it could happen with my cousin too! Help!
Q. I have a cousin who's coming up for 2 year's old ill call him Jim. Like any cousins me and Jim have a really close relotionship hes a lovely little boy and i love him to peices. His mum (my aunt) brings him and his older sister (...
A. 25 October 2011: Tell her how worried you are that you will never get to see your cousins again. Maybe you could call around to her at the weekends and come to some arrangements where you could spend time with your cousins. Talk to her about it and am sure you can ... (read in full...)
Nightmare about my daughter is affecting my everyday life!
Q. Hi everyone, was wondering if somebody could help me, it's not a relationship question, it's a question about my 17-month-old daughter. But the problem could have something to do with my previous short-lived relationship which ended last month. For ...
A. 25 October 2011: Do you feel that deep down your ex boyfriend may have hurt your daughter sexually? I think that you are feeling guilty about this relationship and letting this man near your daughter because you are unsure about how dangerous he actually was. You ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to connect with women! Help!
Q. Guys, I don't know why this is happening, I did my best to make this go away, the nervous behaviour, the fear. The words., (the lack of confidence) around women, especially women that I like, the way I feel for them it makes me feel so small, I am ...
A. 25 October 2011: You just need to be yourself with women and at the moment you have no self confidence. I understand that you may have been rejected in the past but that is all part of life and you should have kept fighting and telling yourself that you could do it. ... (read in full...)
Is he just leading me on for fun? How do I approach it with him without offending him?
Q. Hi, i'm not sure where to go with this situation. My best friend knows i'm gay, and is completely fine with it, as in it's something we talk about daily. He's not got a girl friend anymore and hasn't had sex for a few months so i know he's desp...
A. 25 October 2011: Has he ever gave you any hints at all about him being attracted to men? You know him better than anyone else as a friend so are there any signs at all that he could be hinting at you that he wants to be involved with you. Maybe just lightly ask him ... (read in full...)
Would you be okay with your bf if they were divorced for over 10 years and still really good buddies?
Q. My BF has been divorced for 10 years+ approx. The problem I am having is he is friends with the ex wife. I try to be okay about it but really I am not. I have just given birth to his son about 20 days ago. Bf doesn't have any kids with her but they ...
A. 25 October 2011: I actually disagree with you here if I am honest with myself. He obviously fell out of love with her and they were no good as partners but that doesn't mean that they cannot have a friendship. They did share a big part of each others lives and ... (read in full...)
How do I initiate a threesome?
Q. Ok so my friend (actually fwb but much, MUCH more than that)and I are considering a threesome. I know this is a fantasy of his but I've admitted to him that it is actually somthing that I've always wanted to try as well. It would be with another ...
A. 25 October 2011: This is a really tricky situation for both of you. Because if you don't want a stranger and you don't want it to be a friend well then there really is not a lot of people in between that. If you don't know anybody that would be up for a three some ... (read in full...)
After hurting me so badly, why contact me 4 months later?
Q. i was hurt by a very close friend of mine,for me it was utter betrayal,and we just stopped contacting each other for some time(about 4 months),yesterday i received a very weird text message from her boyfriend,out of the blue,saying :are you still ...
A. 25 October 2011: Well that wasn't the friendliest of messages to send you really looking at it. It is really hard to tell what they wanted. I guess it is up to you now weather you just ignore it and get on with your life or ask them what it is that they want, that's ... (read in full...)
I want to give it a second chance, but I'm do terrified of being shut out and shot down again.... What to do??
Q. I'm in love with this man. He's told me numerous times that he loves me too. We're not together now; we broke up because things were going to fast for him (we were always together, talking about the future, he brought up me moving in, etc.). ...
A. 25 October 2011: well you will never know what will happen in life unless you put yourself out of there. Yes it can be scary in case he shuts you out, but if he does well at least then you know that you tried and you can move on from this relationship with some ... (read in full...)
What do I say in an anniversary card when husband doesn't love me anymore?
Q. It will in two days be my 10'th anniversary but me and my husband have been seperated we still in contact I want us to work on our relationship and send him an anniversay card what, do I say in the card? He told me that he does not love me anymore ...
A. 25 October 2011: Write straight from the heart and tell him exactly what you are feeling. But am afraid if he has decided that the love has gone well then it may be hard for you to change his mind and try again. Good luck.... (read in full...)
He's flirty on videochat but then gave me a raincheck for a kiss, said he's not ready for a relationship!
Q. I really like this guy. He is in a couple of my friends classes and we met several weeks ago. The thing is that we both just got over relationships. He says he needs time but we video chatted for hours late into the night. I asked him to tutor me. ...
A. 21 October 2011: Yes I understand that you are only out of a relationship as well, but it is obvious you are ready to move on now, this doesn't mean that he is in the same place as you. You say he hasn't told you straight that he needs time, but look at what he has ... (read in full...)
I think I moved too fast in this relationship
Q. I started dating my guy friend of two years a couple weeks ago. On Saturday we were at his house alone and fooled around a bit (i gave him a hand job and he fingered me). It was completely my choice as he was adamant that I only do things I'm ...
A. 21 October 2011: Don't listen to your friend. Listen to yourself and nobody else. If you feel comfortable doing this sort of thing well then it is nobody's business but yours. You have been friends with this guy and knowing him for a long time. He sounds like a ... (read in full...)
Why did this player start laughing so loud after we had sex?
Q. hi, I was having sex with this player..we enjoy the chemistry between us and he just cannot commit. Anyhow, my question is not about commitment but about sex. We've had sex several times over the years..Usually it is sensual and soooo much chemi...
A. 21 October 2011: I really cannot answer this question, because only he knows why he started laughing. It could be a number of things but it really is impossible to tell. Maybe he was just happy as he enjoyed himself. Who knows. But honey you said yourself he is a ... (read in full...)
He's flirty on videochat but then gave me a raincheck for a kiss, said he's not ready for a relationship!
Q. I really like this guy. He is in a couple of my friends classes and we met several weeks ago. The thing is that we both just got over relationships. He says he needs time but we video chatted for hours late into the night. I asked him to tutor me. ...
A. 20 October 2011: I can understand why you are confused and my guess is that he is just as confused as you. It sounds like he is just a bit of a mess at the moment and is unsure of what he wants. He has just gotten out of my relationship and he is probably still ... (read in full...)
Is he worth obsessing over for two years??
Q. so..currently i am living abroad for a 1 year school internship, and yesterday i was talking to this guy who i have had a crush on for 2 years now, and he asked me an akward question. i had just posted a new photo of mine on f.b and he said he ...
A. 16 October 2011: Do you feel like he is immature? Don't let this friend influence you, you are old enough to make your own decisions and act on your own feelings and thoughts. If you feel he is immature and not worth it then cut all ties. But obviously you have saw ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 9 October 2011: You are being very negative and if this is how you start of when you date someone new then it wont work, if you keep telling yourself it is not working well then it is not going to. Seriously why stress about it so much, just live life the happiest ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 9 October 2011: Yes even then, just because he doesn't contact you every day doesn't mean he has lost interest. It is only early days so there shouldn't be the need for you to be reassured so soon. You need to take a step back or else you will end up getting hurt ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 9 October 2011: Wow you really need to slow down here girl before you push him away before anything serious can start. You need to look at it for what it is, it was two dates and by the sounds of it you are both getting on well and enjoying it, which is great. But ... (read in full...)
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