How do I pursue friends and a relationship with an intimidating face?
Q. Hi, I have too much problems to list out here today, but my main concern is a lack of a relationship and friends. It seems I have intimidating face based on how people respond to me and these days i have a hard time smiling so it makes it even...
A. 29 March 2016: Yes start by getting yourself to a doctor, it sounds like you have depression, you need help with that first. Second if you are working well then move out and get your own place if your mother is abusive. The people you work with who say they don't ... (read in full...)
Should I marry him knowing what I do?
Q. Ive been with my fiance for 6 years and last year he proposed to me. Our relationship has its ups and downs. Ive known his positive and negative traits more than anyone he knows. Probably more than his family do. He is quite loving and carin...
A. 29 March 2016: In my honest opinion I don't think you should marry him. You don't trust him, therefore there is not a strong foundation for marriage. You need to be able to trust your husband. I am getting married next year, but I know in my heart he would never ... (read in full...)
We are always fighting and he says I push him away!
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 6years now we met @school l love him so much and I don't want to lose him but the problem we always fight,he tells me am pushing him away and I don't know what to do...l Dnt want to lose him he means a lot to ...
A. 29 March 2016: Do you feel like you are pushing him away? You both need to sit down and talk about what is causing the arguments and try and come up with a solution so that you learn to agree more. All relationships have arguments, but if it is all the time and ... (read in full...)
I'm Sexually innexperienced , does it affect my chances of meeting someone ? (Bi)
Q. Dear People of dearcupid.org Let me start off first by writing about myself. I am a bi sexual male in the early 20s , living in Europe. I don't prefer any gender over the other. I work out regularly and I like my self the way I am. You could ...
A. 29 March 2016: You are still young, so it is okay to be inexperienced. You suffered ED because you where nervous, it is completely normal. The next person you meet and date, just be honest with them, if they are not interested because you won't have sex straight ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a straight married friend
Q. I am married to a man. I have recently fallen in love with a female friend. She is married, straight, and of course completely off limits. But it hurts my heart. I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager. It's silly. I am s...
A. 29 March 2016: Loving someone and not having them love you back is so tough, but remember you have a husband that loves you. Might be a good idea to put a bit of distance between you and this friend for a while so that you can let your feelings go. ... (read in full...)
I don't love him, but should I let him go?
Q. I've been dating someone my own age for about six months now. For me, this is brand new. I never date for very long, so the fact I've made it this far is astonishing. This person, we'll call him Blue Eyes, I met him through my mother. She met him, ...
A. 29 March 2016: Break up with him, it appears you are just with him for the sake of it, that's not fair on him. Six months and no feelings is telling you that this relationship is not working. So don't force it. You describe him as being a good man, so why do you ... (read in full...)
How can I be myself around others, without putting myself in danger?
Q. I've pretty much been a loner since I was a child. I usually I aim to beat to my own drum but I do crave friendship and a romantic relationship. What sucks is that I can't pin-point what exactly the problem is. I think people might be intimid...
A. 29 March 2016: Why do you feel the need to pretend that you are interested in girls? If you are gay then that is who you are. Don't hide away from it, be honest with your friends at work. At least then they will know why you have no interest in talking about ... (read in full...)
How can I stand tall this time without letting him back into my life?
Q. Hello and thanks for your help. I've been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. His attitude isn't good to say the least. He dictates how long I need to stay when I'm with him. If I can only stay a couple hours he argues. He wants me to cons...
A. 29 March 2016: You need to block all contact with him. Block social media, phone number, everything. Then carry on with your life. If he lands at your door tell him you will ring the police. You need to stay strong, as this relationship is very unhealthy for you, ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 29 March 2016: It sounds like you have low self esteem, enjoy getting to know her more, don't worry about how she feels at the moment, enjoy brunch and afterwards ask her out for dinner a night? See how she reacts. Just take it slow. ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship and me being told I'm over thinking everything!
Q. I am in my 30s and am in my first relationship for 3 years. I have never got into a relationship earlier because I tend to have a high expectations of people and my insecurities. During this time when I am in a relationship, I realized that I have a ...
A. 29 March 2016: I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, but remember it will get easier. You will slowly begin to heal and feel like yourself again. When you feel like you are missing her remember how the relationship made you feel, how she didn't ... (read in full...)
I want to date him, but told him I want to be friends!
Q. Hi I've been single for over 4 years now had quite a few dates over that time but nothing came of them and then I stopped dating for over a year then I started talking to someone online and he asked me out, at first I said yes but because my ...
A. 29 March 2016: Don't look at it as a rejection, it will only make you feel miserable. You turned him down and then he done the same. Don't worry about it, at least you had the guts to ask him. ... (read in full...)
Married but living in different states.
Q. Hi, my husband and I live apart due to me getting a job in another state and him staying behind to finish school. Every break I get I go visit him. This isn't true for him, he recently decided to stay home over his spring break because "there is ...
A. 29 March 2016: Yes you do need to have a chat with him. Long distance can be very difficult on a relationship, but you both need to keep communication for it to work, and you need to be honest about how you are feeling to him. ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating with a guy with a girlfriend and I'm really confused!
Q. I was going out with a boy for a few months last year then he broke up with me and got a new girlfriend. They've now been together about 4 months but in the past 2 months we've been seeing eachother without her knowing. On one hand I don't feel ...
A. 24 March 2016: Well you should feel guilty for what you are doing, how would you like it if someone done this to you when you had a boyfriend? Cheating can make someone be insecure for the rest of their lives to a point where they can never trust a partner again, ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned? My fiance takes her phone everywhere and I think she's hiding something
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend for 10 years and engaged for a couple years now. Recently things have changed her personality she's bitchy and nasty then other times it's how things used to be. She still says I love you and kisses me good bye. The ...
A. 24 March 2016: If you have a gut feeling that she is hiding something well then talk to her and tell her how you feel. Don't demand to see her phone, because we are all entitled to our privacy. If you feel ignored well then tell her, if you feel she is being ... (read in full...)
Should I stay good friends with my ex for our son's sake?
Q. I have an issue that is sort of complicated. I have an ex fiancé and we have a son who is currently 3 years old. We were together about 4 and a half years or so. The reason we broke up is well he had cheated on me with a woman he had met. This st...
A. 24 March 2016: I don't think ex's can remain good friends after a break up because there is always a lot of feelings there. He has moved on and is in a relationship with the woman he cheated on you with, so naturally you are going to be upset at times, and it will ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship and me being told I'm over thinking everything!
Q. I am in my 30s and am in my first relationship for 3 years. I have never got into a relationship earlier because I tend to have a high expectations of people and my insecurities. During this time when I am in a relationship, I realized that I have a ...
A. 24 March 2016: It might actually be a good idea if you and her where to have a break from each other to figure out what you both want. It is clear that the relationship is not working out for you both at the moment. Therefore why don't you tell her you need some ... (read in full...)
Should my youngest brother be allowed to get away with no paying anything to my parents?
Q. Paying parents, i have 4 brothers and we all still live at home. Mum has always worked out how much we should each pay towards living expenses. Mum has always said that however many of us there are we should pay the same percentage of our wages. So ...
A. 24 March 2016: I think you should be happy for your brother. He is not earning a lot therefore your mother doesn't want to take money from him. That is her choice. There is no point you feeling jealous because it will make you look immature and petty. At the end ... (read in full...)
Why am I good enough to spend all her time with and have amazing sex, but not good enough to date
Q. This is going to sound a bit backwards since it's usually the other way around. However, I have a fwb and she kinda confuses me sometimes. We have been sleeping together for around 6 months. And the sex is mind-blowing. Two people could not have b...
A. 24 March 2016: Have a think to yourself and ask yourself do you want a relationship? If the answer is yes well then ask her to be your girlfriend. You have nothing to lose, and a lot to gain. Go for it. ... (read in full...)
Why was he happy to text me during that time but had to avoid me?
Q. I am in my early 40s and feeling a little confused. I had seen this guy in my local supermarket over a long period of time but he never seemed approachable but I felt I recognised him from my past (we used to go to the same pub but only knew ea...
A. 24 March 2016: Yeah it seems he may not be overly interested. But hey you tried so try not to feel bad about it. Its great that you actually plucked up the courage to try and get to know him. Leave the ball in his court now. Best of luck, and well done for having ... (read in full...)
I want to date him, but told him I want to be friends!
Q. Hi I've been single for over 4 years now had quite a few dates over that time but nothing came of them and then I stopped dating for over a year then I started talking to someone online and he asked me out, at first I said yes but because my ...
A. 24 March 2016: I agree with honeypie, you have nothing to lose, so just ask him would he like to go out for dinner, as a date? Tell him you have had time to think and that you jumped the gun to soon on not wanting to date. He still met you as a friend, which is a ... (read in full...)
Am I too uptight with saving intimacy until later? Does this turn men off and was it a mistake to visit his home?
Q. I posted last week and would appreciate further advice. I went on 7 dates with a great guy and we communicated daily. The last date, I went to his place and we made out but I was clear in not wanting to go further just yet. At the end of the evening ...
A. 23 March 2016: I don't think you where being uptight, if you are not comfortable being more intimate well then that is your choice. However I wonder why you allow male friends to put their arm around you and not potential dates? Are you still a virgin? If you are ... (read in full...)
Should I pass my number to him and be brave and ask him out for coffee?
Q. Hello guys. Just wanted peoples view on what I should do. I am a manager of a shop and have seen a customer pop in from time to time, every month or so not often at all. I passed him by today on the street and we smiled at each other. When he ...
A. 23 March 2016: I agree with honeypie try and do a bit more digging before you give him your number. A few more conversations, ask his name, general questions and try and find out if he is single. Maybe you could ask him does he have any children that might be an ... (read in full...)
Is sex such a big deal? Do I need to hold out for someone special? How do I know if that special person exists? Did you regret your first time?
Q. I am 16 and yes I know you might be thinking i m too young to be talking about sex. But that's on my mind almost 24/7. Unlike a lot of the people who claim to be otherwise, I'm still a virgin. I never really talk about it to anyone, not really ...
A. 23 March 2016: I think you should wait until it is with someone who you can trust and who you know is not just using you. Off course it is okay if it is only sex you are looking for. But the first time should be with someone you care about and with someone who ... (read in full...)
Should I wish my ex-date happy birthday?
Q. Three months ago, I dated a man for one month. We spoke every day and went on 6 six dates which were all wonderful. After the last date, the following week he seemed to be withdrawing then coming back. It left me unsure of his feelings so I chose to ...
A. 23 March 2016: I don't see why you would bother wishing him a happy birthday, you only went on a few dates and that was over three months ago, he might find it strange that you still even have his number. I think your best to delete his number and let it go. ... (read in full...)
Married but living in different states.
Q. Hi, my husband and I live apart due to me getting a job in another state and him staying behind to finish school. Every break I get I go visit him. This isn't true for him, he recently decided to stay home over his spring break because "there is ...
A. 23 March 2016: It sounds like the connection has gone on his side. He has gotten lazy and doesn't want to make the effort with you any more. When you try and talk he tells you not to stress him out. I honestly think there is something he is not telling you. More ... (read in full...)
I called my boyfriend's parents house several times and he reported me to the police
Q. I did something wrong today. Last night I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend because he never has time for me and always makes me feel second to everything. I was still mad and we argued again today. Not only did he not admit he was wrong, h...
A. 23 March 2016: I agree with the other aunties, what you done was immature and very childish. What he done was also very childish, the police have more important things to be doing. I think you should both end this relationship and wait until you are both mature ... (read in full...)
I fell for my friend and now I feel like a fool
Q. Hi! I've always had a thing for this friend of mine but we both didn't act upon it. A couple of years later we got back in touch and decided we will go on a date whenever we are in the same city. It was supposed to be 'casual' because he isn't lo...
A. 23 March 2016: It is very easy to catch feelings for someone, especially if you have been seeing them for over a year. Even though he said he did not want a relationship, it doesn't mean that it will stop you from developing feelings, therefore don't beat yourself ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is angry because I'm not ready for sex
Q. my boyfriend and me are in a relation since last three years. he says he wants sex but i am not ready. he got angry when i said so. I really love him and i dont want to lose him. but i am really not ready for sex. he is really angry with me when i ...
A. 23 March 2016: What is it about sex that you are not ready for? Are you waiting for marriage? If so then you need to tell your boyfriend. You have been together three years so am pretty sure he is not just looking for sex. But I wonder what it is that makes you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my parents might think he is too old for me!
Q. I have been having sex with a lecturer at my university for just over 4 months now. Now I will say, he doesn't have anything to do with my university grade. He has never taught me. However, he will sometimes help out with lab work and field tr...
A. 23 March 2016: 15 years is quite a big gap at your age, so I can see why your parents would be worried. Also it will be frowned upon if the staff in the college find out about this relationship. It might stand up in the policy but it will give your other half a ... (read in full...)
I am jealous of my online boyfriend's past relationships.
Q. Guys. I have an issue . I have been dating a guy online now for sometime like 3 years . he is open to me about his ex and showed pictures and told me stories like how his ex cheated on him. I understand and appreciate that he is trying to be open ...
A. 23 March 2016: Have you actually met this man in person or are you just having a relationship with your computer? If you haven't actually met him in three years, then my suggestion is to go out on a date with someone who you can have conversation with face to ... (read in full...)
My wife says she has feelings for her boss!
Q. 2 days back me and my wife were having casual discussion and my wife informed that she is having feelings for her boss. I was stunned to hear this. She further said that she is feeling for him for past 3-4 months. She said she wanted to control her ...
A. 23 March 2016: Am afraid there is nothing that you can do that will make her feelings go away. I do think the best thing she can do is ignore these feelings if her marriage is important to her. Talk to her and ask her what it is she plans to do with these ... (read in full...)
Is he not into me or am I just impatient?
Q. I'm 49, separated for a year and a half and been dating on and off since that time ... but nothing serious. I have been seeing this man for almost 3 months. We get along great, we have chemistry, he respects me, he doesn't pressure me to s...
A. 22 March 2016: I am pretty sure I have responded to your post on here before. I think you need to slow it down a little. It has only been three months, give it some time to blossom and grow. It is still only early days. Tell him straight out you feel he is not as ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I have a crush on a person but I am in a relationship with another.
Q. Dear readers, Thanks for taking your time to read this. I've been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for more than six years. We met each other in Highschool and were each others' firsts in almost everything. I am 22, my boyfriend is t...
A. 22 March 2016: Sweetie only you can answer these questions. Would it be worth losing your boyfriend to see if there is anything with your crush? You can't even be sure if he feels the same way about you. Think about what your life would be like without your ... (read in full...)
Should I help my son financially?
Q. My son is 28, and has basically never worked. I'm soooo disappointed in him, I can't begin to say. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.He doesn't respond to phone calls, emails, texts, or anything. He thinks I belittle him because when I was i...
A. 22 March 2016: you would be doing him no favors giving him money. He wouldn't thank you for it. At some point he needs to realize that he needs to get on with his own life and not live under his mothers roof. Why not talk to his mother some day? Tell her how you ... (read in full...)
My husband left me after 20 years of marriage saying he needs to be by himself
Q. Am I a fool He has left me after 20 years of marriage He know he has been treating the family badly He said he still love will look after us I will never be alone But need to be by him self Every one is in shock He away told every on...
A. 22 March 2016: I feel sorry for you and your family. Try and not take it personally, if he has depression, he may feel he has no choice but to be on his own at the moment. As long as you are secure enough to think that he would not harm himself then I think the ... (read in full...)
My wife says she has feelings for her boss!
Q. 2 days back me and my wife were having casual discussion and my wife informed that she is having feelings for her boss. I was stunned to hear this. She further said that she is feeling for him for past 3-4 months. She said she wanted to control her ...
A. 22 March 2016: I am glad that she told you the truth instead of having an affair behind your back. Now its her choice what she should do, it might be best if she leaves her job and look for a new one. Maybe there is something lacking in your marriage and this is ... (read in full...)
Am I sick to think this situation shouldn't be happening with the guy I'm dating and his cousin?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for 4 months now, he seems really sweet and just the perfect gentleman he's Romantic and very caring. He rents a one bedroom and his cousin 14-15yr old girl (pretty, nice little body) comes to visit him and I was on...
A. 21 March 2016: I can see your concern I really can, but maybe her mother trusts her and your boyfriend, maybe she knows that they where close growing up. But I can see where you are coming from as well. Am afraid this is something that you need to make your own ... (read in full...)
Can a man be too romantic? That's why my girlfriend broke up with me
Q. Hi,am thirty five,an my girlfriend just broke up with me,after six months,I treated her really good, she said the reason for breaking up with me is, am to romantic,am not a challenge, should I just move on,or try to win her back....
A. 21 March 2016: I think the best thing for you to do is to move on. Some women like a man who plays hard to get, they like the challenge. Yet others love the romance. It just wasn't meant to be for you and her. You where two different people. This doesn't mean that ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy come back after turning him down for sex?
Q. I was talking to guy about 6 months ago who made it plain the first time around he only wanted a hook up through his actions. He didn't verbally tell me but his actions indicated that he just wanted to hook up. He brought up sex in our first ...
A. 21 March 2016: Don't get your hopes up to much, he probably still just wants a hook up. But he now sees you as a challenge therefore he thought he would talk to you again. It is more than likely he wasn't getting very far with others and figured he would try you ... (read in full...)
Is using magazines for sexual release worse than watching online porn?
Q. I've read that watching porn can cause all kinds of problems, even impotence in young guys. I don't want to get a warped or perverted view of sex, as I was brought up traditional. However this also means that for me having real sex is not an option ...
A. 21 March 2016: No I personally don't think it will cause mental problems later on in life. The thing is you are not ready for sex at the moment because of your culture and it is perfectly normal to masturbate. I highly doubt it will ruin your real sex life when ... (read in full...)
How do you stop being an older virgin from beating down your confidence?
Q. As an older virgin, how do you not let it bother you? I tried improving myself and taking more interest in my hobbies. Focusing on interacting with as many people as I can. Downloaded dating apps to raise my confidence. I'm turning 23 and n...
A. 21 March 2016: You are only 23 so you are not at an age yet where you should be panicking. Yes I do get that most people your age have lost there virginity and you might struggle to find a girl who is not a virgin. However there is more to a relationship than sex. ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 15 March 2016: I don't think it will be harassment if you just say to her hey here is a demo off some stuff I have been working on, you where an inspiration for some of the songs and I just wanted to thank you. ... (read in full...)
If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?
Q. I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...
A. 14 March 2016: I think you should give her a copy of the songs you have wrote about her. Tell her that she inspires you and that you would like to thank her. Sometimes age doesn't matter to people. I am sure she will take it as a compliment. Good luck.... (read in full...)
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