A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am a 14 year old girl and i am going out with a seventeen year old boy and i am stuck in a situation because he wants to have sex with me but im scared because i do not no what to do when having sex!!and he said that he wants to get me pregnant but i dont no what to do and if i do have his baby what will happen can you help me please!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Curly21 +, writes (26 August 2010):
I'm 14 years old and am a single mum with a 18 month old little girl and believe me its not easy. I ended up pregnant under unwanted circumstance (i was raped by an older man) but i could never have an abortion. The hardest thing was telling my parents i was pregnant and how it came about and then of corse there was child birth but i would change my daughter for anything! being a mother at 14 is extremely difficult and i would never recommend it.
Feel free to message me if you have any other questions xx
A
female
reader, EmoGir0  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 I'm 15-years-old. My boyfriend and I both want to have sex, but I made a promise to myself that I won't until I'm at least 16. I think you should do the same.
I'm not telling you to not have sex, that's totally up to you. It's your decision. If you do decide to have sex with him, or anybody, at least use protection, and/or birth control.
But I am telling you that having a baby at your age is just wrong. It would be illegal for your boyfriend to even be having sex with you, let alone having a child with you. He'll go to jail for a very, VERY long time, and when, or if, he get's out then he'll be on the Sexual Preditors List. Then you will be raising a child, alone. I don't think anyone wants that.
I'm not telling you to leave him, but I do have to say that he is not a good person for you to be dating. He is pressuring you to do something that you are obviously not ready for. He isn't a good boyfriend, and I think you should move on.
Hope this helps.
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Ummm DON'T HAVE A KID
I am 21 with a business where I make 100 dollars an hour. I was scared so bad when i thought I got a woman pregnant.
You have no job, no schooling, no experience with anything. You are a child.
That last thing a child needs to do is bring children into the world.
You are going to go down a very terrible path if you have a kid.
Don't do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): i'm fourteen and i don't know if i'm ready to have sex but my boyfriend who is 15 wants to have sex with me but i'm scared as well only you can do the right thing
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Am 18 And I A Scared Too Sleep With Someone Aswell So You Are Not Alone.
I Cant Tel You at To But Losin Your Virginity IsA Really Big Deal You Should Totally Ready To Do It And Not Because Your Boyfriend Wants You Too. Its Your Body And Your Choice Take Time And Think It Through Properly.
I Hope You Will Be Okay.
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female
reader, nathanshott132 +, writes (15 February 2009):
well you should never go into peer pressure like that.
It doesnt matter what he wants.
It matters what you want. If you wan this baby, do it.
But your 14 babe, dont take those kind of mistakes so young.
If you choose to sleep with him, make sure to use protection,
maybe try birth control.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): don't let him put pressure on you you deside whether you wanna have a baby or not it's your desision he can't make it for you if you guys do have sex please just use a condom and if he tries to not let you put it on him or he doesn't then just stop right there and don't do it any further you deside if you wanna have a baby but all im asaying is just wait don't have a baby right now you could do alot of damage to your body and he is using you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): whatever you do dont do it! he is just using you if he truly cares about you then he wouldnt put so much pressure on you to do it. he would wait.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Hey my name is lauren and im 13 i no what its like to be in that sistuation because i was,and that should be easy hun x your 14 you still havent lived life yet so live it!!! your not ready yet to have a baby and you shouldnt your boyfriend is well out of oder if he tries to make you, you could do better than him. and your too young to have a baby...Dont go with him if he keeps this up! and the answer to your quiestion is simple NO DONT GET PREGNANT NOT YET ANYWAY!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): I am 14 and I won't let anyone force me to have a baby, the best thing for you to do is leave him or if you really love him, talk to him and tell him you're not ready to have baby because you're still one (I am 14 and I still think I am a baby.)
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female
reader, JamBelly02 +, writes (14 September 2007):
ummm hey so your sayin you 14 and ur guy is 17 im n da same sittuation but im 16 and my dude is 16 well now he's about to be 17 n oct but anyways he want me to have sex and get pregnant me and him been together for a year and dats a long time and he want me to have his baby and i think not ,But for you you donot need to be layed wid a guy and a baby it dosent matter wut he say like a example[ i will take care of the baby] NOT i kno he's not you need to b n skool you still n MIDDLE SCHOOL so you shouldn't even thinkin about havin a baby if you do ur LIFE is goin be like hell and plz belive me MY SISTER is just like you ,you need to think about it but also you should have a serious talk to him about this and how you feeel if he don't respect dat then dats mean he is not the right guy for you,a dude should always respect his girlfriend feelings!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): You're not stuck in any situation that you don't want to be in. If you don't want to get pregnant then this guy has NO RIGHT to tell you to get pregnant. If he won't listen, then stop sleeping with him. Either you are agreeing to sleep with him or else he's raping you. (Legally, I think he's raping you either way because of the age difference.)
You don't owe him anything and it's wrong of him to even want you to do this in the first place. 14-year-olds should not be having children yet. It's VERY simple.
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female
reader, sofymp  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 i'm 14 years old too, and i had a boyfriend who is 19 years old now. He NEVER wanted me to do that, he was in love with me and was able to wait some time. It was difficult for me to believe him. But he waited and waited and he wouldn't be tired of waiting because he loved me and HE decided to be with me, and if he decided it, he must know that i'm too young to do that stuff. So, girl, if he DOES love you he won't let you go so easy, so tell him you're not doing that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): just tell him you don't think your redy yet and if he leaves u that probly all he wanted in the first place
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female
reader, puzzled  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 its illegal for u to be having sex ! he odvouisly does not respect u for hu u r , dump him! his to old for u. your body not able for kids at ur age so defo get rid of him !
xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): You are 14. Sex under the age of 16 is illegal. He would be breaking the law and you clearly don't want to have sex. Just say "no" and if he leaves you, then that is his problem. This guy sounds like a loser. You have to question what a 17 year old (nearly a grown man) is doing with a kid in the first place. What an unhealthy relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): Noo!
dont have his baby cuzz then hes gonna leave your ass and your gonna be one of his baby momma's when hes done doing you hes gonna go to some other female and do the same thing.
plus your only 14 your a child. How are you gonna take care of a child when you one yourself.Dont listen to him.
yess you can have sex if you want to but if you dont even want to do that then dont let him force you. keep your virginity. If you want to have sex with him but you dont want to have his baby then tell him that we can do it but your gonna have to use a comdom.Make sure you dont get presured into something you dont want to do. If you want more advice tell me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): hi hun tell ur bf what u really want. do u want to get pregant at the age of 14? do u want to have sex ? i think u should wait untill ur older u dont want to get pregant at this age surely. tell ur bf if he doesnt understand he's not a true man. i am a 14 year old virgin and was in the same situation now im with someone more my age happy as can be trusted me .Good luck !!!!!!!!!!![Note from Mod- please use a spell checker and not textchat]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): hello ino what you mean your 14 for god sake your going to reck your life tell him to go away your young and wanna go out and pick up guys and have fun with your friends not have to drop out of school cause your 14 looing after a little babie its terrible and you wanna go down to the beac and have fun not to look after and babie and have your period for 6 months and being 14 and havng a iiregualar period and ino your proble think ohh piss off but im 14 and ino exactly what your talking about so please dont do it and if your friends say no dont do it trust them and trust me please xoxo
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): ok im 17 and im dating a 14 year old. weird. but you got to suck it up and say no if u dont want to do it and if u do tell him the only way u will do it is if he uses a condom
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Dont be forced into this, its entirely upto you, and if your ready to have the responsibility of a kid, although if he did get you pregnant, he can be arrested and locked up. Your still a child yourself love, do you really want to be tied down with a kid? It will take over your life, its a full on 24 hour job and responsibility.
Good Luck with whichever you choose love.
xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): dont do it! i was pressured when i was 14. u will regret it later on in life when people dont respect you. and when you grow up and find the right person that you love, they wont like the fact that you lost your viginity at 14. they would rather a girl that is still a virgin, and it shows you respect your self. and i bet you think he would never split up with you after you had sex, but the reality of it is that boys at that age dont really want to settle down. they just want sex. Be clever and tell him no. it will pay of in the future trust me
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female
reader, callmecupid +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Hey...Problems usually come when someone in their early teens dates someone in their late teens. I'm not saying I'm against these kinds of relationships, it's just a fact that 17 year old boys tend to have sex on their minds a lot.
Sit him down and tell me as firmly as you can: "No." Explain that you're not ready and if he isn't prepared to wait until you are, I'm afraid he isn't worth it.
Relationships are not just about the sex, they involve peoples feelings to and you have to make sure you are happy with what is going on.
Good luck!
Cara xx
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female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM!! it is very apparent that he only wants you to satisfy his sexual urges, if he really loves you he wont pressure you to do things that you are not ready for. You said he wants you to get pregnant, look, if you agreed what future could you possibly give your child? you are too young honey, there's a lot of guy out there who could give you the love and respect that you deserve.
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female
reader, katzkitten +, writes (22 July 2007):
 im not going to say your too young or the age gap is too large or anything like that becausemy bf is 17 and i wads 14 when i started goin out with him. am 15 now.
anyway, does he realise if he gets you pregnant he would very possibly be arrested?
has he had other sexual partners? if he has he would need a health check,
as for not knowing what to do thats fine it will all come naturaly. Just try and relax and it helps to throw in a few moans even if it isnt that good. Also try movin with him.
saying this i do strongly advise you to wait a few years before having a child. Remember hes 17 he probably already goes clubbing annd things. Do you want to miss out on alkl this coz your stuck at home with a 3 year old kid?
also if he's 17 he might not be 100% ready to settle down yet.
just watch your back ok hunny?
all my love,
Emily xx
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female
reader, xxpoisendgurlxx +, writes (22 July 2007):
 well in this case im in your same situation but your to young... let alone sex.. its a big step and you might not be ready. i mean are you sure you want to loose it 2 this guy?! have you though about if you actually want to spend the rest of you life with him?! think about that
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male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (20 July 2007):
 You're too young to even have sex, let alone get pregnant. Don't do it!! And like the below have said: He's bad news if he keeps pressurising you into it. Get rid of him fast. Let him get some other bimbo pregnant, you're obviously too smart for him and not a bimbo.Enjoy your teenage life like you should. I'm only 19 but I wish I could go back to your age. Enjoy it while you can because getting pregnant will screw you whole life up at this age.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (20 July 2007):
 You do know your boyfriend could get locked up right as you are under age. I would think long and hard before falling pregnant. You are only 14 and the child WILL take your life away. I'm 21 and pregnant and it's scary trust me.
You don't have to do ANYTHING you don't want to. Make him wear protection and I would see about going on the pill if he seems that set on making you pregnant.
As for the not knowing what to do for your first time. We have all been there hunni and its never as scary as you think. Just relax and enjoy it the best you can.
xxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): im 14 and my boyfriends 17 , and were tryin to have a kidd ,, its the dummest thing i no , but if u have sex , MAKE HIM USE PROTECTION , he is just goin to get u nocked up hunn , TRUST ME
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): Darling. I feel really sorry for you. You are very young and probally very new to all this. But PLEEEEEEASE do not have sex with this guy. Good things come to those who wait and you have your whole life ahead of you. If you look down the whole list of problems that people experience on this website you will see that things always seem rosy in the beginning. It sounds to me as though this guy wants to tie you down. You are probally a very beautiful girl and this may be one of the reasons behind it. Maybe he wants to have hold over you and wants some street credit for getting the pretty girl pregnant. Show him that you are more sensible and stronger than he might think.
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female
reader, mary-lee  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 is your boyfriend a complete moron? let me get this right, a 17 year old boy wants to get his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant? this boy is so totally wrong for you. he is bad news!!! most boys dont want to have sex because of the fear of getting girls pregnant. this guy is an idiot! you should not have sex with this boy. you should not be going out with this boy. can you please ask yourself where you will be in a years time if you were to fall pregnant now? and by the way, it is illegal to have sex at your age. this law is put in place to prevent girls your age from getting pregnant. Girl, you would be mad to have sex with him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): PLEASE DO NOT DO IT! You will regret it for the rest of your life! In my opnion this boy does not respect!
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female
reader, penta +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Your body, your rules. NEVER do anything you're not comfortable with. And any guy of worth won't ask you to do something you're not comfortable with; he'd wait. If this guy keeps pressuring you, then all he wants is sex. He's SO not worth it, and you deserve so much better than him.
You also deserve better than being a single mother at 13-15. There is so much to life that you would miss if you settle for this. Don't do it sweetheart.
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female
reader, raychell +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Sorry to be blunt about this but I think you need to find someone closer to your age. Fist of all it is illegal for you to have sex with him ass you are under the legal age and he could go to prison for it. Also he is pressuring you to do something that you are not ready to do and you shouldt have to feel pressured into doing something that you dont want to. To be fair I dont think you are in love with him you just think you are beacuse it is an older guy showing a interest in you and it is quiet flattering when that happens.
Good Luck
XxXx
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female
reader, sexonthebeach  +, writes (19 July 2007):
girl, do you know that if you have a baby with this man, taking into consideration your age and body development, medically you are putting you and the baby at extremely high risk. not only will you have a huge chance of losing this child, you also may lose your own life. the choice is yours to make. is it worth it to lose your life?
if you really love him, and he really loves you, and together you feel you have a future, then tell him to just wait a couple of years, till you're 18. and if you're still together then, ok, go for it! have a child. but as of now, you can't afford a child. not financially. there are just so many factors you have to take into consideration if you have a child. even if you successfully give birth to a child, the child will probably have a terrible childhood. i am not implying that you are a bad mother, or your bf is a bad father, but how do you plan on upbringing this child? feed him/her every 4-6 hours? play with him/her? act responsibly?
trust me, you do not want to have a child. not now, if you and him are still together when you are above the age of consent. and you feel that it is time you create a family, then girl, go for it!
but honestly, having a child now...it's gonna be hell to pay for! besides, your parents would probably kill you, and then forbid you to see your bf, and not only that, like any responsible sane parent, they will have your bf locked up in jail for rape. even though you consented, believe me, they will not take that into any consideration. so having a child now=health at extreme risk, life lost. or if you have successfully produced one, that your parents will have your bf locked away. so, lose lose situation huh?
just wait for a few years, if there is true love, he'll be around when you're 18. don't worry.
besides, how long have you been together anyways?
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Please follow mine and everyone else's advice when we say: DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS GUY.
You are too young to rush into having Sex, let alone pregnancy, and that second one applies to both of you. The guy might be a nice person, but if that's the case, he is still a total moron for wanting to do this. He's even more stupid for trying to persuade you into this!! I'm sorry to choose my words in this way, but it's just the way I see it. You would both have to be completely and utterly mad to go through with that.
Please, Please, PLEASE don't do it with him. Not until YOU are ready. You may feel that you ARE ready, but, my dear, you aren't. How on earth do you think you are capable of raising a child together? It just won't work. Please don't even try to prove me wrong!!!
Again, I must apologize if I sounded harsh, because you probably are a good person. It's just, I want no harm to come to you, and you're only 14. Having a child at your age WILL ruin your teenage life. There isn't an adult out there that wouldn't wish to be your age again, and you're talking about completely ending one of the best times of your life. Once you do, you change things forever and there is no going back.
I'm telling you what everyone else is telling you to do, or rather, what everyones else is telling you not to do; DO NOT have Sex, DO NOT get pregnant.
Good luck
xx
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female
reader, brainache +, writes (19 July 2007):
OH MY GOD!!I think i may have a heart attack,you are 14,don't even consider having sex,let alone a baby,YOU will be the one to care for it forever,you may think it's all romantic and cute,but he'll just go off and it's such a huge responsibility,I was 25 when i had my first,and my then husband left me when baby was a few days old,I couldn't believe how a tiny person could cause such havoc,your lucky if you even manage to get washed and dressed in the afternoon let alone the morning!!
This guy is wrong for you,he certainly should not be putting you in this situation, enjoy your teens have as much fun as you like but look after you,You are a cleaver person you know right from wrong go with your gut instincts
you don't need this person putting pressure on you like that,let him go find some other poor mug, you need to grow and mature into a lovely young adult who has choices of her OWN to make,you don't need anyone to do it for you,
Take care and think of you,your worth it!
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female
reader, LauraE +, writes (19 July 2007):
Do not do this. This boy is an idiot to be suggesting that you get pregnant – trying to act like he’s a big man able to impregnate his girlfriend. If you get pregnant, believe me, he will not be around for very long once the reality of smelly nappies, endless sleepless nights, and screaming infants kicks in. He is very, very selfish. This means you should not be having sex with him either. He is not worth you spending your first time with as he obviously cares so very little for your welfare – it’s all about what he wants. If you do have sex, he will be breaking the law. He could be prosecuted if anyone finds out. You have years and years of growing and changing to do before you should even think about taking on the biggest responsibility of your life, which is what bringing another human being into the world is. You need to finish school with the best education you can get, boring though that may seem to you. Enjoy your freedom while you have it, because you can’t have it back for a long time once you have children.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Call me old fashioned, but you're too young to have sex or get pregnant. If the guy you're going out with isn't a bad person, then he's stupid. Sex should be out of the question, and babys... he thinks a baby is like a game.
DON'T give in to sex or to getting pregnant. I don't think we can tell you this in words strong enough. DON'T.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): DONT DO IT! You have an entire life ahead of you, live it to the fullest! When you're sixteen and learning how to drive do you want to have a two year old in the back seat? You've only lived fourteen years of your life, you can live more without the worries of a baby. He should be man enough not to pressure you for sex, you're only fourteen!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): Any guy who tries to force any woman to have his child, especially someone as young as you, is bad news. He will ruin your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): i say don't because when you do have his baby he might just dump you you'll be on your own with the baby to take care of. so don't.{annmarie 13}
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Do NOT have sex with this boy. Firstly its illegal which will land him in very deep trouble and maybe in jail.secondly you are far too young for sex and should be enjoying your youth not thinking about sex.Thirdly if he wants you to get pregant at your age he is being selfish by pressuring you and wanting you do to what he wants.I cannot say how much you shouldnt do this, so ill leave it at this. You should leave him as he sounds very wrong for you by pressuring you into sex and wanting you to get pregnant at your age.
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female
reader, lisa3121 +, writes (19 July 2007):
hi,have you told him how you feel? i need to tell you that by law you arent old enough to have sex yet, but regardless of that he shouldnt pressure you into anything babies or sex. im 20 and was scared when my boyfriend said he wanted us to have kids but i told him im not ready and he was fine with it because he loves me. if you do want to have sex but just dont want to get pregnant then try using condoms (free from family planning clincs and possibly your doctor) but as this needs a level of agreement from him the other option is for you to go on the pill (from your doctor) and not tell him, although if im honest am ex of mine was pressuring me to do things so i dumped him. i know it sounds rubbish but if he loves you , and he should if he wants you to have his baby, you could tell him your not ready/do not want a baby yet and he will accept your answer.As for what to do while having sex, my boyfriends have been experienced so they have taken the lead but what to do comes naturally. this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse#In_Humanswill tell you the scientific version of what to do, but if your boyfriend wants to have babies im going to assume he knows what to do already and you could follow his lead. If you are a virgin i need to warn you that the first time it could hurt and you could bleed a little but its nothing to worry about and the pain will go after a few days. Again, i cannot strss enough do not let him pressure you into *anything* if he loves you he will waitlisa xps feel free to message me if you have any further questions
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): girl do not do it, don't do it, don't do it! hes practically a grown man and you still a baby you still have growing to do child do not be stupid i know im 1 year younger than you and that our bodies is going through some changes but don't be stupid and do that,that is just messing up your life we a whole lot of plans in our future and trust me right now i believe having babies is NOT 1 of them.
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