A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a beautiful woman, last August. She was the proud mother of two beautiful girls. I had been a player all my life, and have 5 kids of my own. I really didn't think she was very serious about a longterm relationship with me. She would ask questions such as, what would happen if we broke up and stuff. Well... with stuff like that being asked I did not invest. I lied about my past hid, two of my kids... and didn't tell the truth about a lot of stuff. Then when I ran into some trouble in my life, she hung in there and things changed and long term was looking like it was gonna happen. She knew something was being hidden and I tried so many times to tell her. We fell in love in a way that you can't even imagine. The truth came out, and we began to work things out. Now she speaks to all my ex's kind-a comparing notes....Then a friend of mine a girl, told me she liked me and I just blew her off.. She rebelled by calling my girlfriend and telling her that we have something.. that exploded.. Eventually the truth came out.. but by then she had briefly dated someone else.. For the Past two weeks, we have seen each other a lot, we went on trips, spent a lot of time together and so on. Then she writes me after spending a afternoon with one of her girl friends saying she does not love me and she was only with me because she really needs the car that I have. And I should give her the car, and if I come by she is gonna call the police. And we have nothing. What is going on?? Your Opinion Please!!
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female
reader, LISAG +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Sounds like a mess to me. "Comparing notes" with ex's... hmmm sounds insecure.
Lying from the outstart - a no win situation, people always find the truth out in the end.
Sounds to me like she needs to know how you feel and where she stands, get honest and upfront with her, if you love her tell her, make it obvious, talk everything over and explain like you have here. Send flowers, do whatever to reassure her, sounds like you have nothing left to lose, so swallow your pride and tell it like it is!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I think you both need to back off about a million miles from each other...sit down and really really really think about what a loving trusting caring relationship is. Neither of you have any idea what you want and how to treat someone decently. Lies, deceit, cheating and saying unkind things to each other is non conducive with a happy union.
You admit yourself that you were a player and it's returned to bite you in the ass. Your 'girlfriend' comparing notes with all your ex's?? what the hoodie is that all about? and the business with the other girl lying about having 'something with you'??
well see thats what happens when you lie about things...people end up not believing anything you say. Seems you only appreciated this woman after things got tough for you anyhow, you wern't bothered about your cheating ways before that and I doubt you will worry in the future. No wonder she is being so mean to you now, she probably doesn't know where the hell she stands.
Quit the relationship, let her find someone who will treat her and her kids decently and get yourself some relationship counselling, so you can learn to do things right next time.
Good luck.
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