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*auraE

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I made rules about when me and my bf should contact each other - but he skipped his turn to contact me!

Q.   Hey.. Ok so my boyfriend n me have been together for 6 months, and the first 5 months were just amazing. he was doing all the chasing just like i wanted! until that stopped. i mean, he was always the one calling n texting me first, always in...

A.   28 August 2007: A good relationship isn’t about sticking to silly rules like this. He made all the running at first, and then it tailed off, which is to be expected. By that time, you are supposed to have lightened up enough to feel comfortable calling each other ... (read in full...)

I feel like she is being a cold hearted bitch and is tormenting these two people she claims she loves dearly.

Q.   SORRY THIS IS A LONG MESSAGE. well, my best friend is in a huge amount of drama with her boyfriend and the boy she supposedly "loves". This drama has been going on for a couple of years now. Pretty much the boy she loves is a boy she dated a coup...

A.   20 August 2007: Hi, What an honest, kind person you are. A lot of people would do nothing about this. You are right, you should do something, your conscience is telling you that. The best way to try to do it without losing your friend is to plan exactly ... (read in full...)

I've now changed my views about marriage and would like to get married some day, how do I tell him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and, on the whole, we have a great relationship. We both love each other, respect each other and mainly want the same things out of life. We have lived together for 3 years and just bought our first ...

A.   16 August 2007: Hi, This sounds really familiar! I used to tell anyone that would listen that I would never marry, and then in time I changed my mind. My boyfriend had gone along with what I said, so I thought he agreed with me. I agonised for years about wh... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to have a baby with me but I'm only 15!

Q.   Hi, I am 15 and my boyfriend is 19 and he wants to have a baby with me, I also want one but I feel that I am too young. please help me. ...

A.   16 August 2007: Hi, You are right to think you are too young. Maybe your boyfriend wants to prove what a big man he is by fathering a child. If he was such a big man, he would be thinking about what is best for you. And being a mum at 15 isn’t the best thing. Y... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to have a baby with me but I'm only 15!

Q.   Hi, I am 15 and my boyfriend is 19 and he wants to have a baby with me, I also want one but I feel that I am too young. please help me. ...

A.   16 August 2007: Hi, You are right to think you are too young. Maybe your boyfriend wants to prove what a big man he is by fathering a child. If he was such a big man, he would be thinking about what is best for you. And being a mum at 15 isn’t the best thing. Y... (read in full...)

My brother pins me down and I hate it!!

Q.   Hey, i have asked many questions here and i no i haven't replied to as many as i could of but i have a question. "Is my brother sexually abusing me even if he is younger then me ? " My brother is 11 and i am 13 and he keeps pinning me to the floor ...

A.   15 August 2007: Hi there, I agree with all the others, you have to tell your parents. He won’t end up in jail, he is too young. But he does need help now. If you say nothing, it could get even worse in time. He could also start doing this to other girls. Tell the... (read in full...)

A relationship break???

Q.   I recently broke up with my boyfriend (well he broke up with me) but I don't want the relationsihp to be over. I'm just curious how many people have experienced break-ups and gotten back together successfully? I know it happens - I've seen it in ...

A.   15 August 2007: Hi, It only happens very rarely, so the best thing is to assume that it won’t happen for you. Often when people do try again, they split up again after a short time. Just get on with your life as if it is 100% over. It hurts, but it gets easier I... (read in full...)

16 and looking to loose weight. How do I do it?

Q.   hey all. im a 16 year old girl and i weigh 101 kg. i really need to lose weight. i want to lose weight fast but not gain it again. anybody got some advice for me? i want to do this for myself. i cant stand being fat anymore. i want to dress sexy. ...

A.   15 August 2007: Hi, You can’t lose weight fast and keep it off. You put it on slowly, so it has to come off slowly. I know you don’t want to hear that, but if you lose too much, too soon, it will all go back on again plus a bit extra. This always happens,... (read in full...)

Had unprotected sex yesterday and lost my virginity...

Q.   Had unprotected sex yesterday and lost my virginity... the problem is that I have really irrregular periods, does the 19th day idea still follow with this? I am due on supposedly in a week and a bit. Help please...

A.   15 August 2007: I heop you ahve already left for the doctors, but if not - I agree with all then others. Get to a doctor right now for the morning after pill. From your doctor it will be free of charge, because you don't pay for prescriptions at your age. The ... (read in full...)

Does the 72 hour pill go on my record?

Q.   will the 72 hour pill go on my doctors record? really worried, just had sex and was unprotected :S i no it was stupid of me..but i wanna get the 72 hour pill but my mum doesnt know ive lost my virginity? any ideas???? please help x...

A.   15 August 2007: Family planning clinic visits don’t go on your record. The phone book has details of which clinics are open on each day, and no doubt the internet does now as well. But you need to get this pill very quickly. It’s called 72-hour, but it is most ... (read in full...)

Why can't I get pregnant???

Q.   why cant i get pregnant!! me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for nearly 7 months and it just isnt happening it is cos im only 15 or is it just cos i cant have children. i really want one. me and my boyfriend have been together...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi there, There is help for single mums to get an education, but that doesn't mean it will work out like that. Most likely, you will drop out because it will all be too much to cope with. Babies are exhausting, 24-hour 7 day a week commitme... (read in full...)

When my son tells his girlfriend that she can't have her way, she threatens to harm herself.

Q.   Hello, my nineteen year old son has a girlfriend. They have been dating for about 8 months, he away at University. Last term as he was preparing to go back she asked how 'can you choose university over me if you loved me you would stay'. Now she is ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, Your son is obviously a nice guy who doesn’t want to be responsible for harm coming to this girl. But he isn’t responsible – he is her boyfriend not her guardian. .You said it – he wants out. That being so, there is no question of asking h... (read in full...)

When I mentioned hanging out with my mates, she said I don't love her anymore!

Q.   i am 23, me and my girlfriend who is 20 have been spending the last week together, we dont live together at all yet anyway. but we have been together 24/7 for the last week and today i wanted to go see some friends, she flipped and claimed i dont ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, A claustrophobic relationship that doesn’t allow you both to get out and have some freedom cannot last. I think she is insecure, and so is judging all of your actions as if they are an indication of how you feel about her. It felt like rej... (read in full...)

Is there a possibility I could be gay?

Q.   On a week long school trip a friend asked me to put suncream on his back, I got really turned on. Since then I have had gay fantasies about him. I have only told my closest mate about me being possibly gay Should I tell the person?...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, I wouldn’t rush into telling him as you are not sure yourself. Things can’t be unsaid, and you might regret telling him if he reacts badly, or if you realise it was just a phase. The only way to tell if you are gay is how you feel about ot... (read in full...)

I've been married to my husband for 30 years and I want out so bad that it makes me sick...

Q.   i have been married to my husband for 30 years and i want out so bad that it makes me sick. i tell him and it is as if he doesn't hear me. he just keeps tellig me what all he has done for me and how hard he has worked. forgettong that i have work ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, Cheating married men love to be in this situation. He has a wife and home, and he has a young mistress who loves him. Why would he ever want to change that? He won’t change it. Sometimes married people fall in love and leave home. I’m not ... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend and her mates are going to try and ruin things with my new girlfriend and I by lying to her.

Q.   Me and My ex girlfriend have split up for about 3 weeks now and I dumped her because we started having arguments and we never really took off if you know what I mean? I had many people tell me she was cheating on me with work mates and so forth. ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, I think the best thing would be to take your time with the new girl. Continue to be mates with her and have a laugh, but give it a while before you move on to more. That way, you will probably find that your ex has lost interest, so there wi... (read in full...)

He doesn't listen when I speak, he interrupts, he says hurtful things and he says he doesn't need me or care if it ends... !

Q.   I've been with this guy three years next month, but he still does the same things he does now, not listening to me when I speak, interrupting when I speak, saying hurtful things and then apologizing for it, telling me he doesn't need me or care if ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, He may need help to improve. But that’s his problem. You have wasted 3 precious years putting up with abuse that you didn’t deserve. You can’t have those 3 years back. Don’t make it worse by wasting any more time on him. Finish with him, and... (read in full...)

My husband has become very close to a woman at his work and it's ruining our marriage!

Q.   My husband and I have been together for 20 years and have been married for 13 1/2 years. My problem started about 15 months ago, when I found out that he is very close friends with a female at his work. He never told me about her, but later when I ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, This is difficult if you can’t accuse him of physical infidelity. I agree with the other lady that replied, in that this is as bad as or worse than physical infidelity, hut it’s not always easy to convince the ‘guilty’ party of this. ... (read in full...)

My friend told me that she had sex with my boyfriend while I was at work!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. The other day I broke up with him becuase I was kind of starting to think that he was cheating on me and i got my little sisters phone and started texting him on it like I was just some random ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, It sounds like she genuinely thought it was your boyfriend texting her, when it was you. From how she behaved, and what she said, I would say that something definitely did happen between them. Why would she threaten to tell you “what happened... (read in full...)

How do I handle an unwanted crush from a younger girl?

Q.   I am a babysitter of three kids. Ages 6, 8, and 10. The 6 and 10 year olds are boys and the 8 year old is a girl. Now I'm a male and it seems this girl has a bit of a crush. How do I handle it? She undresses knowing i'm around and even goes skinny ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, This kind of behaviour isn’t that unusual. But the way the world is now, it is vital that you speak to her parents as soon as possible. Don’t risk someone seeing her doing this and thinking you are at fault. It isn’t a big deal, but they nee... (read in full...)

I've been married to my husband for 30 years and I want out so bad that it makes me sick...

Q.   i have been married to my husband for 30 years and i want out so bad that it makes me sick. i tell him and it is as if he doesn't hear me. he just keeps tellig me what all he has done for me and how hard he has worked. forgettong that i have work ...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, Maybe you feel guilty because you were brought up to believe that marriage is forever. We all hope that it is forever, and should try our best to make it so. But you have tried – for 30 years. You were way too young to be married at 15. You ... (read in full...)

I get violent and moody just before my period! Help!?

Q.   heya im just wondering for help from either a proffesional or another girl that has something to help her. Before im due for my period i get really violent and moody and shout at everyone for no reason or for the slightest thing. I want to c...

A.   13 August 2007: Hi, I found that the pill helped me very much. Whilst I was taking it, I had no PMT symptoms at all. It isn’t for everyone though. I also find that Evening primrose oil helps with some of the symptoms now that I don’t take the pill. Your GP shoul... (read in full...)

My gf's complaining and crying constantly is wearing me down! What should I do!?

Q.   I do love my girlfriend, but she is swallowing up my life. She constantly complains about everything i do, and cries for many hours on end, and expects me to talk with her until she feels happy again: normally many hours into the night. I have 6 ...

A.   10 August 2007: Hi, No conflict - you can love someone without being joined at the hip. Loving someone doesn’t mean you are on indefinite 24 hour call no matter what is going on in your life. I agree that it sounds like she is suffering from depression rather t... (read in full...)

His ex gf is telling me bad things about my bf. Whom do I believe?

Q.   I am in love with my partner but his ex came up to me the other day and said that he beat her, got her in in debt, pregnant, etc. He says it's all lies and that she wants him back. They have been split up for 2 years. What do I do? I also have a ...

A.   10 August 2007: Hi, If you have been with him for a while and he isn’t violent at all, and he hasn’t been trying to spend all your money, then I would be sure that she is lying to you. If you haven’t been together long, then just put what she has said to the back... (read in full...)

I just want my husband back!

Q.   I have been married for 18 years. I have two kids and raised my step daughter since age 2. Over the years, I had a great marriage. We always had an exciting sex life and looked forward to those intimate times. My Husband had full custody of his ...

A.   10 August 2007: Hi there, What an awful time you are having. It’s hard to understand why he would choose to walk away from such a great life. I think others may be right about him being attracted back to a more shady life. It might be connected to his daughter... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a year to live, but he wants to marry me and have a baby!

Q.   This is kinda a HUGE question and i really need help, my fiancée (we have been together since we were 12 im 19 now) has just been diagnosed with lung cancer and has been told he's got about a year to live basically but they're gunna treat him as ...

A.   8 August 2007: I agree with Dr Pete. It's beautiful romantic idea to have your boyfriend's baby, but you have to think of the baby's best interests, and yours. You will need all your strength to support your boyfriend over the next year. After he is gone, you will ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend constantly gives me a hard time for my past, and it makes me miserable!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am writing with tears on my eyes 'cause devastated. I will try to make my story short. I met my bf while in college and while in college I acted a little crazy and mess around with a couple of guys. My bf and I were not together...

A.   8 August 2007: Hi, You overdid things at college – well hold the front page! That’s a new one isn’t it? I bet that loads of other students did things you never heard of because they were just more subtle about it. Is he STILL thinking about what people said in ... (read in full...)

He says I'm "the one"... How can I believe him when he might have said all this before to another girl?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for almost six months now. As with every relationship, there comes a time when the exs become a necessary discussion. Its been almost over a year since his previous relationship. Heres what he told me at first: He ...

A.   7 August 2007: Hi, There is no reason why he can’t love you totally after 6 months. That doesn’t mean you should be making a dash for the altar just yet of course. But it’s long enough for him to know that you are someone very special. Are you the kind of perso... (read in full...)

He's gone and played the "open relationship" card!

Q.   My boyfriend just talked me that it is ok to have sex outside of the relationship as long as you are not sharing any feeling with this other person. In other words, sex and love does not go together and having casual sex is ok. I replied by saying ...

A.   7 August 2007: Hi, Whether he’s saying it just to make you mad, or because he intends to do it, you are still left with a boyfriend that will not make you happy. Either – like you suggest - he plays childish mind games ( at your ages – please! ), or he is telli... (read in full...)

On one hand, I like him and miss his company, on the other hand I find his cold and insensitive side hurtful. Am I over-reacting?

Q.   I ended a 12 year old relationship less than 2 month ago. Started going out with this guy a month ago. When we are together he is fine, and he is good in bed, so thats not a problem. I have huge issues with his communication though. He rarely c...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, You are vulnerable at the moment, and seem to have picked the wrong man to get involved with. Maybe he has different expectations from the relationship than you. Or maybe he is a controlling heartless kind of man. Either way, you aren’t h... (read in full...)

She's telling everyone I have genital warts! (it was meant to be secret)

Q.   Have you ever told your friend a secret like a BIG secret because you THOUGHT you could trust her even if you guys got in a big fight? Well, I told her i found out i had HPV and now she is telling everyone "did you know she had HPV which is genital ...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, Ask her why she has done this when she is supposed to be your friend. I expect she will deny it as she can’t very well admit to it and give you a good reason can she? But you will be able to tell if she is lying. What would be the next thi... (read in full...)

'm just not the type anybody falls in love with. I'm getting old and terrified of dying alone!

Q.   What people don't seem to realize, is the importance of having other people in your life, boosting your confidence and making you feel better about yourself. It would be perfect to have somebody who loves and cares about you. Even gorgeous women, ...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, I second everything that AuntyEm has said. I just want to add a word of defence for those who say “go out more” or “get involved in a new project or hobby”. It sounds glib, and it’s what everyone says, but it has a sound basis, which is tha... (read in full...)

Why do people think being a virgin at 20 is a problem? IS it a problem??

Q.   This isn't a problem, its a question! But why do so many people think that being 20 and a virgin such a big problem?? And why do all the teenagers think they have to have sex at like 14, 15??...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, Agree totally. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready. People who say otherwise are saying much more about their own insecurities than they are about you. Many people regret that their first time was pretty meaningl... (read in full...)

How can I get over my ex boyfriend? Cut off all contact?

Q.   Hi there, im finding it very hard to get over my ex-boyfriend. We split up about a month ago. I was very much inlove with him so i was devastated when he broke up with me. he didnt really give me any valid reasons so it was very hard to accept it. ...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, Hi, You poor girl, what a horrible way to be treated. Bluntly - yes, he has used you. Yes he is a selfish, heartless, waste of space. Look at it this way – this time it will be much easier to get over him because you know what a louse he ... (read in full...)

The love of my life broke up with me and wants to be friends!

Q.   my boyfriend broke up with me after neary 2 years and he wants to be friends but im really in love with him and dont think i can stay sane and be friends with him, am i being immature? he is the love of my life and i havent even begun to cope wit...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, Excellent advice from AuntyEm. No of course you can’t be mates until you are over him, it would be torture to someone who is still in love. Maturity has nothing to do with this. Believe me, if you were 30, 40 or 50 you would not feel any diff... (read in full...)

Married for a year, no longer in love with my life. In love with someone else!

Q.   I've been married for a bit over a year and find myself no longer in love with my wife. I find myself in love with someone else who I know has feelings for me but because I'm married I haven't persued this individual as much as I would like. I went ...

A.   6 August 2007: Hi, Your marriage vows were about sticking together forever, come what may – I assume. I’m not about to suggest that you stay in a miserable marriage, but you need to try a bit harder than this. You are the only one that knows whether you made a b... (read in full...)

I don't love him like I used to; how can I dump him without hurting him?

Q.   i'm a sixteen year old girl and in a relationship that isn't exactly fair. i've been going out with this guy for seven months and for the first few months we argueed every week and quit talking. now he's constantly saying that there's no secrets in ...

A.   2 August 2007: Hi, You can't dump him without hurting him if he still cares for you. This is just one of those tough things that you have to deal with. The way to handle it with the least hurt to him is to be straight about it. Just tell him that you don't fe... (read in full...)

Should I stay with the secure but unhappy relationship, or the new, uncertain relationship?

Q.   what should i do i have a two boyfriends now,i dont know who really i choose,my 1st bf mamed vic,we have almost 1yr relationship but we lack of communiction and then now i dont feel any feelings for him,im not happy now to him.my second bf was jason ...

A.   1 August 2007: Hi, At your age, you should not be thinking about staying with someone that you don’t care for. That sort of decision should only be difficult if you are married and have children together. Vic isn’t the one, maybe Jason isn’t the one either. ... (read in full...)

How would I tell my mum if I accidentally got pregnant?

Q.   Ok well here goes.. Im 14 nd ma bf is 15 nd we are havin sex. Im completly comfortable wit it. Ive discussed wat would happen if i got pregnant nd he said he would stay wit me nd help look afta da baby. But im still worried. If he does get me ...

A.   1 August 2007: Lil kitty, You don’t need to plan how to tell your mum anything because you aren’t going to get pregnant are you? The wording of your question suggests that you maybe have some idea of ‘accidentally on purpose’ getting pregnant. You sh... (read in full...)

Should i just go on strike?

Q.   Taken for granted: I do 100% of the maintenance work, 90% of the cooking, my fair share of the cleaning and laundry, and more than half of the finances. Our point of contention is that she doesn't seem to notice what I do and gets her panties ...

A.   1 August 2007: Hi, I have exactly the same problem with my man. Trouble is. If I went on strike for weeks, he would probably still be perfectly happy, it would be me suffering. By all means try it, but don’t be surprised if you just end up shouting at her afte... (read in full...)

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