A
male
age
30-35,
*orey757
writes:im 17 n want my gf to give me head but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer. and shes done it b4 with her ex and sum random guy when she was drunk and blacked outjust that the fact that shes done it b4 and she supposidly loves me more but won't, bothers me like a f***** b****i'm considering breaking up with her, we've been goin out for almost 6 months and she won't makeout with me because she says her ex was a bad kisser and it makes her feel sick thinkin bout it and with head she says...it hurts my mouth what should i do?
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female
reader, burningstar +, writes (29 January 2008):
 ok if you want to break up with a girl because she won't perform oral sex then go ahead and break up with her because if you are going to do something like break up with her over something stupid like that then you don't love her and there is no point in staying in the realationship cause eventualy it will fall apart on it's own..
A
female
reader, LizzieLowe  +, writes (28 January 2008):
OK. That's fair enough...you're not all bad then!! Some people can be selfish when it comes to sex....they're receivers but not givers. Next time she asks why don't you just say no and see what she says. You know whether you like her enough to want to be with her so you know the answer - if she's not really worth staying for because you think she is selfish then walk away but don't let the reason be because she doesn't do that!!!....it's not really a good enough reason!
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A
male
reader, corey757 +, writes (28 January 2008):
corey757 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionumm ok 1
we are haveing sex im not pressureing her
2 she did ask me to go down on her ...n i did after a while
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Sounds like you get to play "nice guy" and clean up the emotional mess after she's let a few other guys have the fun.
You can stick it out and do the right thing. It would probably make your relationship stronger. Do this if you feel like there's long term potential with her. There's a lot more to relationships than BJs, and she might come around again eventually anyway.
But the truth is that doing the right thing by her is a thankless job most of the time. Beware of being the sucker on this. You might end up valiantly going without any sexual fun with her for a long time, and then she goes and does it all again with future BFs after you've helped "heal her up" so much.
I'm not being fair and reasonable and politically correct at all. I don't care. In my experience young girls/women don't show the slightest scrap of "fairness" about who they do sexual things with and who they don't. So don't lose sight of the whole picture. The other BF (and a random guy) probably didn't play very nice and decent with her and it worked pretty well, didn't it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): You sound too immature to have a girlfriend, you obviously are more concerned with your ego gratification (she went down on her past boyfriend and it bugs the #@@@) and sexual gratification than you are with her feelings....you don't deserve a girlfriend, why don't you just try porn, it sounds like more your speed....bump. Seriously, stop being such a bad boyfriend, listen to YOS down there.
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A
female
reader, LizzieLowe +, writes (27 January 2008):
You either like her or you don't. Clearly you don't as you seem to be concerned with just the sexual part of your relationship (if you have one!). Have you ever stopped to think that your girlfriend may not be ready to do whatever you want her to do....maybe past experiences have put her off!! What about being a friend/boyfriend first and then working your way up to getting what you want. No woman likes to be forced or pushed into doing something they don't feel commfortable doing. You are being selfish but I suppose you won't be able to see that now. If she is a nice person and you like to be with her then work on that and go out and have fun ie go to the cinema etc. If you don't like her as a person....do her a favour and leave her to find someone who is willing to undersatnd her needs first. I bet she never asked you to ''go down on her'' but I guess because you did it anyway you are expecting her to reciprocate right??? That's not fair - if you think about it you'll see. Your problem is hardly a problem in the whole scheme of things!!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 She supposedly loves you? Do you supposedly love her?
If you do love her, then you'll by sympathetic to her. That means not pressuring her into sex, and not holding her previous (obviously very bad experiences) against her. Right now you're behaving badly by putting pressure on her to have sex when she clearly doesn't want to, and even (in your mind) holding the relationship ransom because of it.
You have two choices:
- Stay with her, accept her wishes, care about her and STOP pressuring her
- Leave her
Read around on this site and you'll see how much damage happens when girls are pressured into sex by their boyfriends. It can cause huge amounts of pain and big problems. Just look at how your gf is now because of bad treatment from her previous bf. Do you want to treat her badly too and give her even more hang-ups to deal with? Because you want to get your rocks off?
Sorry to be so harsh with you, but the way you are behaving is out of line and no way to treat a woman. You should treat her with respect, care, consideration and sympathy. Or you should break up.
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A
female
reader, LizzieLowe +, writes (27 January 2008):
You either like her or you don't. Clearly you don't as you seem to be concerned with just the sexual part of your relationship (if you have one).
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A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Don't go down on her then. That stops the double standards. If her going down on you is that important then it is time to call it a day. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): You don't pleasure somebody to get 'the favour returned' you do it because you love the other person and want to make them happy. And you saying 'and she's ment to love me' and your ment to love her yet you want to force/convince her.
If you will finish with somebody you 'love' because they won't give you head then your pathetic and obviously don't know the meaning of love. If you truly loved her you'd want to make her happy rather than get your own sexual gratification.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Some people don't like oral sex, you can't force her to like it. If it matters that much to you then it is time to end the relationship.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (27 January 2008):
 She properly didn't enjoy doing it before, quite a few people down enjoy going down on thier partner. Men or women. Just cause she dosen't give you head your willing to leave her? what sort of person does that make you? can't you both compromise? like she gives you a hand job. About the kissing, you got to sort that out.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 If you think that is more important than love or friendship, then there is nothing for you in that relationship.Find another one.
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